


if it kills me

by you_explode



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Alternate Universe - The Office Fusion, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 07:48:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 110,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11203578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/you_explode/pseuds/you_explode
Summary: Harry and Louis have worked together in a difficult office environment for six years. They're best friends; Louis is the bright spot of all of Harry's days. But Louis is in love with Harry, and Harry's engaged to someone else. And that's only the beginning.The Office AU. More or less follows the first five seasons. A lot of pining and misunderstanding the depth of feelings and rejection and angst, until there isn’t.





	1. Bibia Be Ye Ye

**Author's Note:**

> oh god, i have so much to say. this is the fic i've wanted to write the entire 4 and a half years i've been in this fandom. i hope you all like it.
> 
> first, content warnings for cheating: there are two instances where harry kisses louis while he's still with his OC fiance. also emotional cheating throughout the first three chapters.  
> and i just want to warn you that this might not be a version of liam that you're familiar with. it's liam if he was never influenced by louis/being in 1d; i basically took 16 year old liam's traits and amplified them. so that might seem ooc.
> 
> [becomeawendybird](http://becomeawendybird.tumblr.com) made some absolutely stunning art for this, i'm totally in love with it. you can find it in chapters 1 and 3, and on tumblr [here](http://becomeawendybird.tumblr.com/post/161840850346/if-it-kills-me-by-youexplode-105k-m-harry-and) and [here](http://becomeawendybird.tumblr.com/post/161841096731/if-it-kills-me-by-youexplode-106k-m-harry). i could never thank her enough for it as well as her patience with me, and for being so lovely and understanding to work with <3
> 
> also, i made a title credits video. it's [here](https://youtu.be/Iq6994kqHnk), it'd be cool if you watched it.  
> there's also a playlist [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/ificouldflyhomehl/playlist/64ULMpLbJ4770oU3FGu1tL), because there are a lot of songs mentioned in this fic.
> 
> all the thanks in the world to vera, who is a total treasure as always. i wouldn't have made it through the last week without you holding my hand. thank you for tackling this monster with me and for always saying what i need to hear. you're my fave <3
> 
> i'd also like to thank ed sheeran for putting out divide right when i was getting stuck into this. the song lyrics at every chapter/chapter titles are his. and the fic title comes from the song by jason mraz.
> 
> lastly - there's no smut in this fic. i'm sorry about that, i did want to, but i've been very blocked and it just felt very forced. i'd rather not write it at all than write it terribly. sorry!

**2015.  
  
** _  
someone told me, always say what’s on your mind  
_ _and I am only being honest with you, I  
_ _I get lonely, and make mistakes from time to time  
_ _(if things aren’t working out)  
_ _(everything will be alright)_

__

 

The best thing about Harry’s job is that he works with Louis.  
  
Because, okay. It’s not like he hates his other co-workers. His job’s actually fairly pleasant - the pay’s decent, the work’s easy, there are only a few people he doesn’t get on with, and his fiancé works downstairs - but by far the biggest highlight of every day is Louis.  
  
Like. Having his fiancé work in the same building is awesome, but Xavier’s down in the warehouse. He’s not up here every day suffering through Ben’s horrible jokes and general incompetence. Louis is. And if it weren’t for Louis, Harry thinks he probably would’ve quit a long time ago.  
  
Ben isn’t the world’s worst boss, but he certainly isn’t the world’s best either, despite what his favourite mug - the one Harry’s pretty sure he bought for himself - proclaims. He seems to genuinely care about everyone in the office, or at least he cares about what they think of him, but he’s not a hard worker at all. He’s easily distracted which then distracts everyone else, and he’s honestly just not very good at his job. Harry sometimes wonders how the branch manages to stay afloat. Worst of all, though, are his constant, insufferable, rarely funny, always at least slightly offensive jokes. Ben’s the kind of racist, sexist homophobe who doesn’t think he’s racist or sexist or homophobic but is quite happy making jokes that are. Harry simply can’t stand it.  
  
If it weren’t for Louis making faces at him every time Ben opens his mouth, Harry wouldn’t’ve made it a month in this place.  
  
As it is, he’s been here three years, since he was eighteen. He spends the days with his best friend, and then he gets to meet up with his fiancé and go home. It’s a pretty good deal.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Louis’s quite good at pranks. It’s one of the things he does that brightens up Harry’s day. Obviously he can’t play tricks on the boss, who deserves it, but there’s usually another target: Liam.  
  
Liam is probably the biggest stick-in-the-mud Harry’s ever met. He’s uptight, he’s a know-it-all, he’s a stickler for the rules, usually his own imaginary rules, and he has far too much ambition for a mid-range software company. This job means the world to Liam, and maybe that’s something that should be admirable, but it’s also something that Harry just can’t wrap his head around. Because this job _sucks_.  
  
In any other situation Harry would just ignore him, let him live his life, but the thing is that Liam’s in the same desk clump as Louis, which happens to be the desk clump closest to reception. So all day Harry has to hear Liam nitpick different things Louis does, as well as his suggestions for how Harry could make reception more efficient. By midday he’s usually had enough.  
  
That’s why he loves Louis’s pranks. They’re often thoughtful – he puts more work into them than he does into his actual job, Harry’s sure – but even when they’re not, they’re entertaining. He has this ongoing one, where once a week he makes a plate of jelly with one of Liam’s belongings suspended inside. Liam is always surprised and outraged; somehow he never sees it coming.  
  
In a way, neither does Harry, in that he never knows _when_ Liam’s going to reach into his desk and pull out a plate of jelly. Like right now.  
  
Liam’s talking to Ben and the new temp Zayn about the latest sale he closed. He’s clearly bragging, talking it up because the temp has no clue what he’s talking about and Ben barely does either. Liam opens his desk drawer to get a copy of his customer feedback form, which is apparently glowing with praise, and then he yells, “Oh, Goddamn it Louis!”  
  
“What?” Ben asks, immediately concerned. “What is it?”  
  
Liam pulls out a plate of orange jelly with his Batman mug inside. Harry bursts out laughing.  
  
“He keeps doing this!” Liam cries. “Ben, you need to do something!”  
  
“What?” Louis says, and oh wow – is he eating a pot of jelly? Oh, he’s a genius. “How do you know it was me?”  
  
“Of course it was you,” Liam says. “It’s _always_ you.”  
  
Louis frowns. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says. “Do you have any proof?”  
  
“Well, I – no, but I – Ben!” Liam sputters.  
  
“Gotta say, he’s right,” Ben says. “If there’s no proof then there’s nothing I can do. Plus this is pretty harmless.” He laughs.  
  
“It’s annoying, and disruptive, and I know it’s him,” Liam argues.  
  
“Get back to work,” Ben says. “Try and lighten up.”  
  
He goes back to his office and Zayn goes to his desk. Liam stands and picks up the plate of jelly. “I know it was you,” he hisses to Louis. “One day, I’m gonna prove it.”  
  
Then he storms off towards the kitchen.  
  
Louis looks over at Harry with his eyebrows raised. Harry grins and gives him an air-five, which Louis returns.  
  
It could be considered mean, Harry guesses, but it’s this thing Louis and Liam have. Liam antagonises Louis, often on purpose, by doing things like shredding documents while Louis’s on the phone, or eating smelly food at his desk, or stealing Louis’s clients, or keeping track of how much time Louis takes for lunch to put in a report he gives Ben at the end of the week. And whenever he and Louis start to get along, and Louis eases up on the pranks, Liam takes it up a notch. It’s like he needs Louis to keep him in check.  
  
Harry supposes it might sometimes be mean, but he thinks it’s also necessary for the stability of the office. He’s not sure what Liam or Louis would do without one another.  
  
  
***  
  
  
The biggest issue in Harry’s life right now is that he knows Louis and Xavier don’t get on. He’s actually not quite sure what Louis’s opinion of Xavier is; just that he gets all awkward and uncomfortable when he’s around. It’s weird because it’s pretty much the opposite of how he is normally, with literally anyone else, so Harry doesn’t know what it is about Xavier that makes Louis feel that way.  
  
He knows for sure, though, that Xavier doesn’t like Louis. He’s never said why, but he makes no secret of openly disliking him - whenever Harry mentions him when talking about his day, which is almost impossible not to do since Louis is usually the best and funniest part of every day, Xavier grimaces or mutters something under his breath. Harry’s never really hung out with Louis outside of work because of Xavier; Louis offers, has in fact been offering every Friday since Harry can remember, for them to join a few of the lads from the office at the pub for a pint. Xavier always begs off, says he’s too tired, which makes Harry feel too guilty to go. But Xavier’s not even tired, is the thing. Sometimes, like last weekend, he’ll end up going out with his brother or something anyway, leaving Harry at home with Gogglebox and his mum on the phone.  
  
So. Harry really wishes they got on. He’d love to spend time with Louis over the weekends. Louis always does something fun, even if he’s just hanging out at home - he watches all the same shows as Harry, and they have the same taste in films and footy teams, so Harry would love to join him. And sometimes, the space between Friday and Monday seems so long and depressing and empty.  
  
But he can’t see Louis outside of work if it’s going to make Xavier unhappy. Harry doesn’t even know why he has a problem with Louis, but he knows he wouldn’t want Xavier spending his weekends with someone he didn’t like, so he supposes it’s fair.  
  
Besides, it’s not like he doesn’t see Louis from nine to five every workday. Just. It’d be nice to see him outside of it, that’s all.  
  
  
***  
  
  
Harry likes a lot of the people he works with. He likes Lou in Supplier Relations. He really likes James and Jesy in Sales, and obviously Louis. Ed in HR is one of his closest work friends. He really likes Niall and Perrie in Customer Service. He likes Julian in IT and Caroline in Quality Control. And he likes Jade and Leigh Anne in Accounting.  
  
That’s most of the office. It’s really just four people who make Harry’s job difficult, and that’s Ben, Liam, Oli, and Dan.  
  
Oli in Accounting hates Harry, and Harry doesn’t understand why. He really doesn’t like it when people hate him. He thinks if they got to know him, they wouldn’t hate him. So he’d like to make an effort with Oli, but Louis always tells him not to bother.  
  
Because that’s the weird part. Oli and Louis are childhood friends. Nobody would guess it, given that they barely talk now, but they met when they were about twelve, and they still have the same group of friends. Harry thinks Louis sees Oli quite a bit outside of the office. They were definitely friends when Harry started working here, but then something happened after a few months. Harry doesn’t know what it was, but Louis and Oli weren’t getting on, and Oli started being really horrible to Harry. He’s never really stopped, he loves making these snide comments. Harry is quite hurt when he thinks about it, that someone dislikes him so much that they go out of their way to be mean to him.  
  
But Oli’s a wanker. That’s what Louis says. He says Harry should just ignore him, that his opinions don’t matter.  
  
It’s just really hard for Harry to ignore it when people don’t like him. Maybe that’s narcissistic. He’s not sure.  
  
So. There are some people in this office that Harry really likes, and there are some he doesn’t like, and then there’s Dan Wootton. He works in Supplier Relations with Lou Teasdale, and Harry really does like Lou, but he can’t stand Dan. Harry doesn’t like to say he hates people, but Dan really tests his resolve on that sometimes.  
  
He’s a pompous dick, for starters. He treats Harry like a servant, always shooting him emails demanding he drop everything to fax or photocopy something. He’s the kind of person who thinks the world revolves around him, that anything he needs done is top priority. Harry technically isn’t even required to fax or photocopy things for his coworkers, only Ben; he just does it to be nice. He’s not sure why Dan thinks Harry’s his own personal assistant.  
  
He’s also weirdly, creepily obsessed with Harry’s relationship with Xavier and his friendship with Louis. He’s always asking Harry invasive questions, and he loves insinuating that there’s something between him and Louis. Sometimes he also comes up with these stories of Louis or Xavier having chemistry with someone else, and jokes that Harry’s being replaced. He loves to stir up shit, is Harry’s impression; he’s honestly just a toxic person and a self-important weasel.  
  
Actually, that’s not fair. Weasels are cute. Harry likes weasels. They shouldn’t be associated with Dan.  
  
“You know you don’t actually have to do anything he says, yeah?” Louis asks as Harry's scanning a thirty page supplier contract.  
  
“I know,” Harry says. And he does know. But he’s also terrible at letting people down. “I just want to be nice, that’s all.”  
  
Louis shakes his head. “You’re too good, Styles,” he says, and he goes back to his desk.  
  
Harry scans the rest of the contract with a happy smile on his face.

 

***

 

Harry’s favourite thing about his job, aside from Louis, is his perpetual to-do list. Part of him thinks that might be weird, because he thinks that there are a lot of people who don’t like to-do lists, especially when they know they’re never going to accomplish everything on them in one day. But Harry thrives on routine, and he loves that when he comes into the office every morning, he has his day essentially outlined for him. He even likes when he doesn't get everything done, because it just means that he knows what he’ll be doing tomorrow.  
  
Louis hates to-do lists. He barely uses them – instead, he has sticky notes plastered all over his desk to remind him of what he needs to get done. (Harry doesn’t quite see the difference – to-do lists are a bit more organised, that’s all. He doesn’t say so to Louis.)  
  
Whenever Louis comes over to reception when Harry’s got his list out, like now, he makes a face. “Ugh, this again?”  
  
Harry smiles as he crosses ‘ _– Faxes for Caroline’_ off his list. “Remind me to never show you my bullet journal.”  
  
“Your what?” Louis frowns, looking endearingly confused. “You have a journal about bullets?”  
  
“No,” Harry giggles. “It’s… I guess it’s like a personal diary mixed with a calendar-type diary? I have monthly to-do lists in there, and weekly, and sometimes daily.”  
  
Louis looks appalled. “I’m not sure you’re human,” he says.  
  
Harry laughs again. “It’s a pretty common thing, actually, I think,” he says. “I just like being organised.”  
  
Louis shakes his head. “That’s definitely not normal,” he says. “God. I’ve forgotten what I even came over here for.”  
  
“Good,” Harry says, glancing back down at his to-do list. “I have a few emails to reply to before Meredith comes in for a supposedly important meeting with Ben, so. Shoo.”  
  
Louis looks comically offended. “Rude, Styles,” he says. “See if I bring you anything back from the vending machines later.”  
  
“Salt and vinegar crisps please,” Harry says with his most charming smile as Louis walks backwards to his desk.  
  
Louis shakes his head but he’s smiling. Harry turns back to his emails. 

*

In the meeting with Meredith, she says that the company’s not doing well. Harry doesn’t think it’s a huge surprise really, but for some reason Ben is shocked. Though he’s always had an inflated sense of self-importance, so Harry supposes it makes sense that would extend to his job as well.  
  
The thing is, Syco Software is essentially just anti-virus software. It had a huge boom like ten years ago, but when Harry started working here three years ago, sales had begun to decline. And now, anti-virus giants like McAfee have taken over the market, and it’s gotten much harder to make cold-call sales due to the increase in computer-based telemarketing scams. Harry watches the sales staff hang up their phones in frustration all day because they’ve spent fifteen minutes trying in vain to convince someone the company’s legit.  
  
Their main business now is in renewing contracts with pre-existing clients. Harry’s pretty sure most people haven’t heard of them. When he tells people he works for Syco Software, most people assume it’s a video game company. So he’s really not surprised when that’s the reason Meredith, their boss from the Corporate office in Sheffield, came in today – to tell Ben that they’re thinking of downsizing the branches, and closing either this branch or the one in Leeds.  
  
Ben’s inconsolable. Meredith tells them both not to tell anyone, but Harry tells Louis after the meeting when he brings him crisps from the vending machine. Louis’s quite happy about the possibility of severance and being forced to find a new career, and so is Harry, but he’s also not thrilled about the prospect of working somewhere without Louis.  
  
Ben holds a one-man pity party for the rest of the day, and by the end of it, he’s told everyone the news.

 

***

 

Harry installed The Sims 3 on his office computer a few years ago, and he plays it whenever he has some downtime. He made himself, Xavier, Louis, and Liam, and they all live together in a cute little house. Liam doesn’t get a bedroom, just a single bed in the corner of the living room, because Harry was annoyed with him when he put it together. The Harry and Xavier Sims are engaged, just like in real life. He plans to marry them at some point and build a little family, but for now he likes that they live with Louis. Sim Harry and Sim Louis are best friends, of course, but so are Sim Louis and Sim Xavier, because it makes Harry happy to see them getting along. Liam is the breadwinner of the house – he works all day and Harry gave him the Neat trait as well so when he comes home, Harry makes him clean the entire house. He often goes back to work hungry, tired, or with poor hygiene. It’s sadistic, but it’s good stress relief. He should definitely make a Ben Sim as well.  
  
He’s playing it when Louis comes and leans over his desk.  
  
“Ooh, what are we up to now?” Louis asks, because of course Louis knows all about their Sim counterparts.  
  
“Well, Liam and Xav are at work,” Harry says. “I’m cooking us lunch, and I think you’re – ” he switches over to Sim Louis’s POV – “yep, you’re flirting with some random.”  
  
The random is a brunette woman who was probably taking a walk and got charmed by Louis. He has the Social Butterfly and the Good Sense of Humour traits, so he makes friends easily.  
  
“I don’t think so,” Louis says, reaching over and cancelling Sim Louis’s current action. “C’mon, Curly, you can’t have little me flirting with girls.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Harry giggles. “I didn’t know what he was up to.”  
  
“Well, you’ve got to keep a closer eye on him,” Louis says. “He doesn’t know any better.”  
  
Harry laughs. “I’m sorry,” he says again. He gets Sim Louis to come inside and eat lunch. Soon Sim Louis and Sim Harry are chattering away while they eat. “There, is that better?”  
  
“Much,” Louis says, poking Harry’s dimple.  
  
It says a lot about how boring Harry’s job is, that that’s the highlight of his day.

 

***

 

They have Diversity Training every month, almost like clockwork, always because someone’s complained to Ed in HR about Ben. They’re all very well-acquainted with their Diversity Officer from Corporate; her name is Emma, she’s twenty-five, she has two cats and she loves fashion as much as Harry does. She and Harry are on quite good terms. Ben, on the other hand, constantly disrespects her because she’s young and white and straight, so she clearly doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Harry thinks it’s also because she’s a woman; Ben definitely has an issue with women telling him what to do. It’s a real marvel that Meredith from Corporate hasn’t fired him after his countless tantrums.  
  
Ben also refuses to accept that he’s the reason they always need Diversity Training in the first place. After Emma finishes her seminar and leaves, Ben always gives his own presentation. It’s always offensive and almost always ends with Emma coming back the next day, which means a good day and a half wasted in the end. No wonder the branch is in trouble.

 

***

 

Harry sometimes hates that Ben forces him to sit in and take notes on every meeting he has with Meredith. Sometimes it’s good, in that he gets access to all the news first hand without hearing Ben’s garbled version, and then he can talk about it with Louis. But when he has to sit and watch Meredith berate Ben, it’s just uncomfortable.  
  
Ben’s supposed to pick a new healthcare plan. He was supposed to do it by yesterday, which is why Meredith is cross with him. They need a cheaper one, apparently, because they’re trying to cut costs. This is bad news for Harry, as somebody who will use the healthcare plan, and for Ben, because he has to break the bad news to the office, which is not his strong suit.  
  
Once Meredith leaves, telling him to let her know which plan he’s picked by the end of the day, Ben turns to Harry. “How do you feel about going through these books, finding a plan within our budget and then telling everyone?”  
  
“I… don’t think I’m qualified to do that,” Harry says.  
  
“Okay,” Ben says. “How about I pick a plan and you just tell everyone?”  
  
“I don’t think so,” Harry says. “You can do it, Ben. You’re really good at this.”  
  
Sometimes Harry distracts Ben with praise. It’s easier to slip out of his office that way. 

*

A few hours later and Liam’s gone mad with power. Ben put him in charge of picking the healthcare plan, and he is determined to pick the absolute cheapest one. Harry regrets turning Ben down – he should’ve guessed Ben would’ve eventually palmed it off.  
  
“That may be partly my fault,” Louis admits to Harry over lunch. “Ben asked me to do it first, and I told him Liam would do a better job.”  
  
Harry stifles a smile, because that’s his immediate reaction to anything Louis-and-Liam related, but Liam’s really shredding their plan. “Why?” he asks. Maybe it’s hypocritical, because he turned Ben down himself, but this is something Louis would’ve done well. “You had to’ve known he’d go Draconian with it. You would’ve actually picked something decent.”  
  
Louis sighs. “Yeah, I know,” he says, and pauses. “I just - I dunno. I don't want to put in any extra work, Curly. What if I get a promotion?”  
  
Harry snorts. “God forbid you get recognition for your work.”

“Exactly,” Louis says seriously. “Then it's not just a job. It's my career.” He shudders.

“So you’re basically in complete denial about this being your career,” Harry double-checks. He’s torn between endeared and frustrated. If Louis wants more out of life, then why doesn’t he just take it? Harry’s pretty sure he could do anything.  
  
“Yeah,” Louis says, and sighs again. “I mean, it’s just always been, like, my rule, to keep myself from spiralling into a quarter life crisis. I should’ve broken it this time, though. Should’ve realised Liam would gut our healthcare.”  
  
“Yeah, we’re gonna have to do something about that,” Harry says. Then he tells Louis what he knows, about the budget and how they do have to have a cheap plan.  
  
“But not one so cheap that it may as well not exist, got it,” Louis says.  
  
They go to Ben and talk him into letting them help Liam. It’s not hard, Harry just says, “It’s way below budget, and everyone’s blaming you, not Liam.” Ben’s horrified that everyone still thinks he’s at fault, and he tells them to fix it immediately.  
  
“No,” Liam says when they walk into the conference room. “This is my task. Get out.”  
  
“Ben said we have to help,” Harry says. “C’mon, Liam, surely you’ve noticed this isn’t going over well.”  
  
“I don’t believe you,” Liam says, and marches out to check with Ben. While he’s gone, Harry and Louis get stuck into reading over the plans.  
  
Liam comes back, grumbling to himself. He sits down and picks up a plan.  
  
“Mine was more cost-efficient,” he says. “It could have saved the company.”  
  
“Everyone would’ve revolted,” Louis says. “I’m pretty sure James is out there sharpening his pitchfork.”  
  
“Some of our coworkers have kids, Liam,” Harry says, trying to sound reasonable. “They rely on the healthcare plan.”  
  
Liam sighs. “I _suppose_ I want what’s best for the kids,” he says, like it pains him to admit it. “Let’s do this, then.”

 

***

 

Ben becomes mildly obsessed with the idea of a football match against the warehouse guys in the small vacant lot next to their building. Nobody wants Harry to play because they all know he’s like Bambi learning to walk on his best days, but Xavier’s into it because he played in secondary school, and when Harry gets to work Louis’s excited for the same reason.  
  
“You’d’ve been so impressed by me in secondary, Curly, I’m just saying,” Louis says, and Harry giggles. “Like, I don’t want to toot me own horn, but I was by far the best in my school.”  
  
“Well, _I’m_ just saying,” Harry grins. “Xavier was the best in our school.”  
  
Louis scoffs. Then he balls up a piece of paper and kicks it at Harry.  
  
“When’s the last time you played a proper game, Lou?” Harry says, still grinning.  
  
“Probably six months ago, what’s your point?”  
  
Harry giggles again. “Xavier plays every weekend.”  
  
“Wow, what a busy life Xavier leads,” Louis muses.  
  
_No wonder he doesn’t have time to plan a wedding_. Louis doesn’t say it, doesn’t even imply it. That might not even be what he’s thinking at all. But Harry thinks it, and the smile drops off his face.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Louis asks, instantly concerned, but Harry shakes his head, and then Ben calls them all outside. 

*

The team from the office are skins, Ben decides. Harry’s like ninety-nine per cent sure it’s for vanity reasons. And then Louis rolls his eyes and pulls off his shirt, and Harry’s vision tunnels out.  
  
He can’t keep his eyes off Louis for the rest of the match. He tries, he tries to watch Xavier and he cheers for Xavier, but his traitorous eyes keep narrowing in on Louis’s lithe, tanned, curvy body. He tells himself it’s okay to be attracted to someone else. It doesn’t have to mean anything.  
  
Might not be okay when his fiancé’s right fucking there, though.  
  
It gets easier when Louis and Ben switch positions for some reason and Louis’s guarding Xavier. At least they’re in the same place, so Harry can pretend he’s not being a complete arsehole. He’s totally watching his fiancé. It’s not his fault Louis’s also right there, looking all tanned and gorgeous. Harry can’t help looking if that’s where his eyes already are.  
  
Then things start getting aggressive. Well, it’s football, and Ben’s been trash-talking the warehouse guys all day, so everyone’s riled up, but something extra seems to be happening between Xavier and Louis. There’s more shoving than Harry thinks there has to be, and then Xavier trips Louis and he goes crashing down, his face hitting the ground hard.  
  
Harry jumps to his feet and is halfway to him before Ben’s even called time-out.  
  
People are shouting things like ‘what the fuck’ and ‘are you okay’, and Niall’s already helped Louis up. He turns and there’s blood everywhere. _So much blood_.  
  
“Oh my God, Lou,” Harry says, finally making it to him. “Are you okay?”  
  
“S’just my nose,” Louis says, his voice nasally and weird. “But I don’t think it’s broken.”  
  
“Oh my God,” Harry says, and he looks around, trying to find Xavier. He pops up beside Harry and at least he looks remorseful.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he says. “Shit. I didn’t mean to.”  
  
He sounds like he means it, but here’s the thing. Harry was watching, rather intently if he's honest, and he saw it. Xavier definitely did it on purpose.  
  
“Okay,” Louis says, and then he tries to walk, presumably off their makeshift field, and he winces. “Fuck, I think I twisted my ankle.”  
  
Harry shoots Xav a dirty look and loops his arm around Louis’s shoulders. “Here, c’mon, lean on me,” he says. Louis does, and they hobble over to Lou Teasdale with the first aid kit. Harry is absolutely not a giant perve about having Louis’s naked, sweaty, dirty skin so close. Not at all.  
  
Harry gets him seated and Lou opens the first aid kit. The match starts up again, but Harry’s not paying it a bit of attention.  
  
“We need to apply pressure to your nose, first off, to stop the bleeding,” Lou says. She and Liam are their trained first aid officers, and Harry’s pretty sure he heard Ben yell at Liam to stay in the game. It’s probably for the best; Louis definitely likes Lou more than Liam.  
  
“Right,” Louis says, taking the cold compress Lou gives him and holding it to his face. “Should I tilt my head back?”  
  
“Just keep your head high,” Lou says. “Above the rest of your body.”  
  
Harry flutters his hands, feeling a bit useless. “How’s your ankle? We should take your shoe off, see if it’s swollen,” he says.  
  
“I just rolled it, Harry, it’s not even a sprain,” Louis says with an eyeroll, his voice fond. There’s so much blood on his face. It’s mixed in with his scruffy facial hair, still trickling down his neck. Harry is pointedly not looking any further than that.  
  
“We should have a look anyway,” Harry insists. “You can’t bend over if you’ve got to keep your head elevated, but I can do it?”  
  
Louis sighs, and then winces like it hurt his face to do so. Harry’s heart twinges. “Go on then.”  
  
Harry crouches down and unties Louis’s laces, then gently slips off his shoe. Louis’s wearing socks for once, and Harry rolls that off too. It feels weirdly intimate, and when he looks up to see Louis looking down at him, down over the compress with his chin tilted up, he flushes and looks back at Louis’s foot.  
  
It doesn’t look very swollen, he doesn’t think. His skin is a bit pink.  
  
Louis has cute ankles. Shit.  
  
“I have another cold pack, we should put it on that,” Lou says, and Harry starts. He didn’t even realise she’d crouched down beside him.  
  
She gets up and busies herself wrapping the other compress onto Louis’s ankle. Harry stands up and watches Louis with the compress on his face. Harry's hands twitch, desperate to wash the blood off his face.  
  
“I think you two are going a bit overboard,” Louis says, muffled under the compress.  
  
“You’re covered in blood,” Harry says.  
  
“I’m alright, Curly,” Louis says. Harry thinks he’s smiling. “I think the bleeding might’ve stopped.”  
  
“Has it been five minutes?” Lou asks. “It usually takes five to ten minutes.”  
  
“Dunno,” Louis says. “I just don’t feel it anymore.”  
  
“Well, it’s a cold compress,” Harry points out. “You’re probably numb.”  
  
“Oh,” Louis says. “Right.”  
  
“I’m gonna get some warm water from the warehouse to wash the blood off,” Lou says. “Hold on a tic, and don’t take the compress off your face.”  
  
Harry sits down beside Louis, because there’s not much he can do until she comes back.  
  
“Do you really feel alright?” Harry asks.  
  
“Well, I don’t feel like I’m critically injured, Curly, which is how you’re acting,” Louis says.  
  
Harry pouts. That’s not an answer.  
  
“Yeah, it hurts,” Louis says. “Obviously it hurts. But nothing’s broken, and I’ve had worse.”  
  
“How’s there so much blood if you haven’t broken your nose?”  
  
Louis shrugs. “Noses are weird. And I think I fell on some rocks in the dirt, probably cut up my face a bit.”  
  
Harry breathes in sharply. “Fuck, Lou, I’m sorry.”  
  
Louis looks confused. “Why on earth are you sorry?”  
  
“I’m sorry on Xavier’s behalf,” Harry says. “I don’t know what came over him.”  
  
“It’s alright, love,” Louis says. “It was probably an accident.”  
  
Harry looks back at their makeshift field, where Xavier’s attention is on Harry and Louis, not the match. He doesn’t look remorseful. Harry’s not quite sure how to read his expression.  
  
“Yeah,” Harry says doubtfully. “Well. He was still playing really aggressively.”  
  
Louis hums. It sounds like a laugh. “So was I,” he says. “It’s okay. It’s just footy.”  
  
It felt like more than that, but Harry doesn’t say so. He’s not sure how to, especially if Louis doesn’t see how weirdly Xavier acts with him. Maybe Harry’s making a big deal out of nothing.  
  
He finds a small bottle of hand sanitizer in the first aid kit and rubs it into his hands, mostly for something to do.  
  
Lou comes back with a mug of hot water. “I boiled the kettle, then added some cold water,” she says. “Shouldn’t be too hot. Harry, can you get out the cotton pads?”  
  
Harry gets up and finds them right at the top of the kit.  
  
“You can take off the cold pack now,” Lou says. “Should be right, if you’ve been holding it tightly enough.”  
  
Louis takes away the compress, and holy shit. There’s much more blood than before, a huge heap of it congealed around his top lip. Some of it hasn’t congealed and it spills down his face as soon as he moves the compress, like something out of a horror movie. Harry’s stomach turns.  
  
The bleeding does seem to have stopped, at least.  
  
“Can I have the pads, Harry?” Lou asks. Harry realises how tightly he’s holding them.  
  
“Um,” Harry says. “Can I do it?”  
  
“Er, okay then,” Lou says. “Just be really gentle in case there are any cuts.”  
  
Harry takes out a cotton pad and dips it in the mug of water. It’s warm, but not hot, so he thinks it’ll be alright on Louis’s skin. He steps a bit closer and swipes the pad down Louis’s cheek.  
  
Louis’s been watching him with wide eyes, hasn’t said anything. When the warm pad touches his skin, he swallows and closes his eyes. Harry passes the pack of pads to Lou so she can wet them for him, and gets to work.  
  
He goes through so many cotton pads, and it’s sort of alarming how much blood there is, but Harry goes slowly and gently. Louis keeps his eyes closed, sometimes wincing when Harry goes over a cut. There’s something so intimate about it, which is fucking weird, Harry thinks, because he’s cleaning _blood_ off Louis’s face. It should just be gross. He doesn’t know why he feels so weird today.  
  
He’s definitely ignoring Louis’s shirtlessness while they’re so close. It just seems like recipe for disaster. God, Harry’s not an idiot, he knows he finds Louis attractive – he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with that – but usually it’s not something he thinks about. They’re friends, and Harry’s engaged. But right now, Louis’s shirtless and Harry’s so close, wiping his face, and he just wishes Louis were a tiny bit less hot. He doesn’t think that’s too much to ask.  
  
He’s extra careful with the clotted blood on Louis’s top lip, unsure if it will burst, but it doesn’t; eventually he just wipes it all off. He’s trying to be clinical about it, but it’s hard.  
  
“There are cuts,” he confirms to Louis, even though Louis probably knows that. “And your nose looks a bit swollen, maybe. Around the bridge.”  
  
“S’fine, don’t think it’s broken,” Louis says. “’ve always had a squidgy bridge.”  
  
Harry’s stomach flips. Sometimes Louis is just so cute, and Harry gets really confusing feelings about it. This whole day has been confusing.  
  
“Okay,” Harry says softly, and wipes the last of the blood off.  
  
“Okay,” Lou echoes, much louder. She puts down the almost empty mug. “We’ll have to put on antiseptic now, to clean the cuts. Sorry, Louis, it might sting.”  
  
“That always means it _will_ sting,” Louis groans.   
  
Lou passes Harry a cotton ball she’s dipped in peroxide, and Harry dabs it onto Louis’s cuts. He’s glad he didn’t have to ask to do it, this time; he’s feeling a bit embarrassed by how desperate he’s been to help.  
  
“Make sure you wipe it all over the cuts,” Lou says. “Have to make sure they’re clean.”  
  
Louis groans again, and hisses when Harry dabs the biggest cut. But there’s not many, and he’s finished much faster than he was with the blood.  
  
“Now what?” Harry asks as he drops the last cotton ball into the plastic bag they’ve been using for rubbish.  
  
“Should put some ointment on, I reckon,” Lou says, rummaging through the kit to find it. “Then you ought to be right.”  
  
“What about his nose?” Harry asks, still concerned.  
  
Lou shrugs. “It was a nosebleed, Harry,” she says. “It’s stopped bleeding, so he’ll be alright. If it was still bleeding or if he was having trouble breathing, then there’d be a problem, but there isn’t.”  
  
Harry feels like he can finally breathe. “Okay,” he says.  
  
“Told you I’m fine,” Louis says with a smile. There’s yellow patches around each of his cuts from the peroxide, which really makes them stand out. Harry wouldn’t say he’s _fine_.  
  
He takes the ointment from Lou and dabs little amounts on each cut. He tries not to use too much, because with Louis’s face all cut up he can’t really rub it in.  
  
It’s so much worse, though, because before he’d been using cotton pads and cotton balls. Now he just has his fingers and Louis’s skin, and Louis has his eyes closed again. Harry’s stomach is turning and his head is full of thoughts that he tries very hard to ignore.  
  
It’s probably just because he’s upset with Xavier for hurting his friend. That must be all it is.  
  
When Harry’s finished, he wipes off his hands with some anti-bacterial wipes and sits beside Louis. Lou takes the cold compress off his ankle and asks him to move it. She decides he’s probably alright to walk on it, but he should sit here for the rest of the match just in case.  
  
It’s alright. Harry and Louis commentate the rest of the game to each other, which makes it much more fun than before. Harry tells himself that Louis is his best mate, and that’s all. He was just upset because his best mate got hurt, and it turned his head a bit topsy turvy. 

*

Harry’s dreading the car ride home. He’d blown Xavier off after the match in favour of helping Louis inside. Xavier’s sent him a few texts apologising and asking if everything’s okay, and Harry hasn’t replied.  
  
He stalls, helping Louis to his car even though he’s barely even limping.  
  
“Harry, I’m fine,” Louis says with a laugh.   
  
“Are you sure you can drive?” Harry asks.  
  
“It’s my left ankle,” Louis points out. “And even if it wasn’t. I’m _fine_.”  
  
“Alright, alright,” Harry says with a smile. “I believe you.”  
  
“Good,” Louis says, and then Harry hugs him.  
  
“’M glad you’re okay,” Harry says into Louis’s shoulder.  
  
They don’t hug often, and this one isn’t long, but it’s good. There’s something about Louis that just makes Harry want to hug him, so whenever he gets the chance to, it’s just. It’s really good.  
  
Louis pulls back and smiles at him. "Thanks for looking after me, Curly,” he says, his voice soft. “It was nice. Unnecessary, but nice.”  
  
Harry beams back at him. “Anytime, Lou,” he says. “Get home safe, okay?”  
  
“I’ll do me best,” Louis says. “See you tomorrow.”  
  
He gets into his car, and Harry steps back and watches him go. He knows he’s still stalling. Louis’s car leaves the parking lot and Harry sighs and walks up to where Xavier’s parked. He’s beside James’s SUV, so he probably hasn’t seen Harry until now.  
  
“Hey,” Xavier says as Harry gets in the car. “Are we – is everything okay?”  
  
“I dunno,” Harry says, crossing his arms. “You almost broke my best friend’s nose.”  
  
Xavier scoffs. His hands tighten on the steering wheel, but he obviously doesn’t want to fight.  
  
“I didn’t mean to,” he says.  
  
“You were playing so aggressively, though,” Harry says. “I saw you.”  
  
“Did you?” Xavier says mildly. “I didn’t think you were watching me at all.”  
  
Harry’s face flushes. He wishes it wouldn’t, it makes him feel guilty. “Well, I was,” he says.  
  
“I didn’t want to hurt him,” Xavier says. “I mean, I know I wasn’t playing friendly, but I didn’t actually want to break his nose or anything.”  
  
Harry does believe that. “Yeah,” he says. “Okay. It’s just, you know. It sucked.”  
  
“I know, and I’m sorry, Haz,” Xavier says. “Believe me, it was the last thing I wanted.”  
  
“Okay,” Harry says quietly. He doesn’t want to fight about this. “Can we go home now?”  
  
“’Course,” Xavier says, starting up the car. “Haz? Are we okay?”  
  
Harry pauses. “Yeah,” he says. “We’re okay.”  
  
He’s not sure if he really means it.

 

***

 

Nobody knew about Harry and Xavier for the longest time. Xavier had been working at Syco before Harry, and he’d warned Harry that he’d never come out at work, that Ben loved making jokes at the expense of the queer community, and when Harry started work he’d quickly decided to just avoid that whole issue. He had no real inclination to talk about his love life at work, anyway, so did it really matter?  
  
Harry was coming up on his one year anniversary with the company when it happened.  
  
By that point Ben was convinced he was a real ladies’ man, and he had seemingly the whole office convinced too. Harry hated it; whenever he so much as talked to a woman, rumours flew around the office, even when it was just the girl from the building’s post office dropping off a package. Especially then, sometimes.  
  
It made Harry so uncomfortable, having this compulsory heterosexuality thrust upon him, and he was confused, because it didn’t seem to happen to anyone else. It seemed to make Louis uncomfortable, too - whenever rumours started to circulate, he’d avoid Harry for a couple hours, always ‘on an important sales call’, until Harry had a chance to say dispel them. Which was very weird, but since the whole thing made Harry uncomfortable too, he didn’t question it.  
  
One day, Ben made a lewd comment about one of the girls in accounting after she’d given Harry some files to scan, as well as a homophobic joke seconds later, and Harry lost it. He went to Ed, the HR guy, and told him everything.  
  
“Wow,” Ed said. “Fuck, man, you should’ve come to me sooner. I thought he was bordering on inappropriate, but I didn’t think you were bothered. I’d’ve stopped this ages ago.”  
  
Harry sagged into his chair. “I know,” he said. “It’s just, it was a weird little bubble, you know? I’ve never wanted to go back to the closet before now, but some of the attitudes here are so close-minded, I just didn’t want to have to deal with it.”  
  
“Yeah, absolutely fair enough,” Ed said. “Although… should we tell Ben, do you think? That’s honestly the best way I can think of to shut him up.”  
  
Harry was doubtful that that would stop him - he said blatantly racist and sexist comments to the people of colour and women in the office - but he told Ed that if he saw no other option, then it was okay. They had a meeting with Ben, and Ed tried to explain that his behaviour had been inappropriate and was making Harry uncomfortable. Ben just didn’t understand.  
  
“All I’m doing is congratulating him on his game,” Ben said.  
  
“It’s not a game,” Harry objected, frowning, and Ben looked even more confused.  
  
“Your skills, then,” he said.  
  
“Those comments are not acceptable in the workplace,” Ed said. “And the homophobic jokes have got to stop as well.”  
  
“What? What’ve I said that’s homophobic?”  
  
“You said today that I looked like a - a _fag_ ,” Harry said, hating to say the word.  
  
“I said it like a compliment!” Ben cries.  
  
“Didn’t you say, I quote, ‘yeah you can scan Jade’s files, that’s not all you can scan, even though you look like a fag’?” Ed reads off Harry’s complaint form.  
  
“Yes, but it was a compliment,” Ben insisted. “Like, in spite of how he dresses, he can still get with hot girls. That’s not homophobic.”  
  
Harry rubbed his palms into his eyes to stop from screaming. He was so frustrated. “Tell him,” he said.  
  
“You using that word is homophobic in any circumstance, first of all,” Ed said. “Secondly, it’s doubly inappropriate to use it while referring to Harry. And thirdly, forcing heterosexuality on Harry is not a compliment because Harry is gay.”  
  
“What the hell,” Ben said. “How can you tell me it’s offensive to say fag and then call Harry gay?”  
  
“Because he is,” Ed said.  
  
“That’s more derogatory than what I said!” Ben cried.  
  
“No it isn’t,” Ed said.  
  
“Fuck’s sake, I’m literally gay,” Harry said. “I’m engaged to a man!”  
  
Ben’s eyes boggled out of his skull. “What. You. You’re actually. A homosexual? You don’t… You don’t like girls?”  
  
“I don’t like girls,” Harry confirmed.  
  
“But,” Ben said. “I could’ve sworn you’ve slept with like fifty girls while you’ve worked here.”  
  
“Never in my life,” Harry said.  
  
“Okay,” Ben said. “Okay.” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, then, Harry. I didn’t know. Although in my defence, I think it’s pretty normal to assume someone’s straight until they say otherwise. Isn’t that the least offensive thing to do?”  
  
Harry grit his teeth and screamed internally, and considered quitting on the spot.  
  
By lunch, everyone knew.  
  
After lunch, Harry told Ed he was thinking of quitting. Everyone was talking about him and while they weren’t all horrible, more disbelieving than anything else, he still couldn’t stand it. Ben was telling anyone and everyone that it’s completely acceptable to have assumed Harry was straight, because that just made sense. Even Louis seemed uncomfortable around him, like, moreso than he was with the other rumours. Harry couldn’t fucking take it.  
  
Ed must have said something to Ben because Ben called a meeting. Ben spent twenty minutes trying to convince Harry that he wasn’t homophobic, in kind of the most homophobic way Harry had ever seen. He was just so fucking clueless.  
  
The meeting collapsed into everyone discussing Harry again, and Harry was about to walk out when Louis stood up. Harry was the only one who noticed, so Louis climbed up onto his chair.  
  
“I’M GAY TOO,” he yelled over the noise, and everyone immediately shut up. Harry stared, and Louis shrugged. “I had no reason to come out before, but you’re all being such insensitive twats, acting like you’ve never met a queer person. Well guess what, you’ve known one for three years! We’re just fucking normal people, there’s no need to make Harry feel like a zoo animal over it.”  
  
The rest of that day was full of the office gossiping about the two of them, because obviously two gay men couldn’t be friends without shagging, but Harry didn’t even care. He was sharing the brunt of it with Louis, and it was okay.  
  
Xavier came out the next day, anyway, and that was that. But Harry will always remember his office coming out as the day Louis saved him.

 

***

 

Ben calls a meeting and Liam stands by the door to usher everyone in and tell them where to sit. He does this every single time there’s a meeting in the conference room; he seems to think that as the Manager's Assistant (which is very different to being the Assistant Manager, no matter what Liam says) it’s his right to order people into certain seats. Ben lets him, probably because it makes him feel important to have someone directing others on his behalf.  
  
Louis always ignores Liam and sits next to Harry. Liam is always infuriated.  
  
Today’s meeting is essentially a very transparent brainstorming session on ways the company could save money. Liam suggests they turn off the lights to save on their electricity bills. Dan suggests they let some people go and hire fourteen year olds to replace them. Oli suggests they stop paying taxes. Ben writes these ideas on the whiteboard.  
  
Harry suggests they start buying recycled ink cartridges for the printers. Zayn suggests they finally go completely digital, to stop wasting so much money on paper - it is 2015 after all. Jesy suggests Ben gives up his Corporate credit card. Ben tells them to make realistic suggestions.  
  
In the end, it’s a waste of time. Ben has a list of nonsensical ideas that he says he’s going to send to Corporate. He asks Harry to type them up.  
  
After Harry’s finished that, he has a fax confirmation to take to Niall, and then he gets caught up in the annex talking to Niall and Ed.  
  
“Do you think we’re actually going under?” Niall asks.  
  
“Doesn’t look good, does it,” says Harry.  
  
“The chatter I’m hearing from Corporate is that they’re going to shut down a branch by the end of the year,” Ed says. “Maybe sooner.”  
  
“Maybe we should start looking for new jobs,” Harry says, making a face.  
  
When he gets back out into the main part of the office, Louis’s waiting for him at reception. He’s got a stack of paper in front of him that he’s pretending to look through.  
  
“Where’ve you been?” Louis asks, his eyes glittering.  
  
“Talking with Niall and Ed,” Harry says. “Why? What happened?”  
  
“Liam asked me to be in an alliance with him,” Louis says, quietly but gleefully. “He thinks there’s a strong chance people will be getting fired soon, and he wants us to band together to convince Ben to pick other people. He said, seriously, he said, that even though I’m his worst enemy, I’m the only salesman ‘even close to his level’. So I’m his only choice.”  
  
Liam’s sitting at his desk, so Harry tries really hard not to laugh and get his attention. “What does he think this is, Survivor?”  
  
“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” Louis says with a grin. “So this’ll be what I’m doing today.”  
  
Harry grins back at him. “Let me know if I can help.”

* 

By the end of the day, Louis has Liam convinced that most if not all of their coworkers are a threat. Accounting in particular are conspiring with Jesy and James to take Liam and Louis down. Liam is suspicious of everyone, to everyone’s utter confusion, and he starts monitoring the breaks people are taking. Louis says he’s made notes on who’s talking to whom.  
  
“I don’t know how to convince him that his job’s safe,” Louis says. “Like, he’s the top selling salesman in the whole company. If he doesn’t feel secure in his job, what chance do the rest of us have?”  
  
“He’s just making it a bigger deal than it has to be,” Harry says. “And he doesn’t trust anyone. Typical Liam, really.”  
  
“Oh my God, I just got an idea,” Louis says, and then he heads back to his desk, whistling shortly as he goes. It’s the signal Liam had come up with to sign they want a meeting; he and Louis have been whistling all day.  
  
Liam and Louis disappear, leaving Harry antsy. That was cruel, to leave Harry out like that. He pouts at no one for a minute or two and then goes back to work.

*

Harry's startled as Louis bolts behind his desk and grabs him by the shoulders, giggling madly.  
  
“He’s going to go to Leeds,” Louis says, crouched down and leaning into Harry as he laughs. “I told him he should spy on the other branches.”  
  
Harry lets out a surprised bark of laughter. “No way,” he says. “Does he have a disguise?”  
  
“That’s the best part,” Louis gasps. “He says he’s going to pick up some hair dye on the way home and dye his hair red!”  
  
Oh no. Ohhh no. Harry can’t breathe for laughing, his stomach hurts. He grabs onto Louis’s hands, still on his shoulders, for leverage. He’s close to sliding off his chair.  
  
“Hey,” says a voice. “What going on here?”  
  
It’s Xavier. He’s just walked in, probably because it’s past five and Harry still hasn’t met him downstairs, and he looks angry. Harry stops laughing instantly and drops his hands from Louis’s.  
  
“Are you actually feeling up my fiancé?” Xavier demands, and Louis lets go of Harry and backs away a step or two.  
  
Harry raises his eyebrows at Xavier, surprised. What the fuck?  
  
“No,” Louis says. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Liam come out from the kitchen. “No, oh my God. This was – we were just laughing about – Liam asked me to be in an alliance with him, like Survivor, and I got him to – he’s gonna dye his hair red. We were just having a laugh.”  
  
“What? Alliance? Survivor?” Now Xavier looks angry _and_ confused. He looks at Liam. “What’s he talking about?”  
  
Liam makes a confused face. “I have no idea,” he says, completely convincingly. “But he’s been giggling with Harry all day.”  
  
Harry’s mouth drops open.  
  
“That’s not true,” Louis protests.  
  
Xavier casts a disgusted look from Liam to Louis to Harry. “Ugh, c’mon, we’re going home,” he says, and he turns and walks out without even waiting for Harry.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Louis says as Harry picks up his coat and bag. His hands flutter like he doesn’t know what to do with them. “I don’t know – I’m sorry.”  
  
“It’s fine, it’s not your fault,” Harry says quickly. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” And then he hurries out.  
  
Xavier’s pissed off and silent the whole drive home. Harry’s upset that he’s upset, but he’s also kind of annoyed. He doesn’t know what it looked like but fuck, he and Louis are _friends_. It shouldn’t be a big deal.  
  
Xavier waits until they get home and they’re inside before he blows up. “I can’t believe you,” he says. “If you’re going to flirt with him, could you not be so blatant? You know how stupid that makes me look?”  
  
“What?” Harry says, genuinely surprised. “I don’t flirt with Louis, I don’t even under—”  
  
“Oh please, you think I don’t have friends in that office?” Xavier spits. “I hear shit all the time, you know, about how close you and Tomlinson are. How he’s at your desk all day, you’re always giggling together over something. Like, fuck, Haz, if you’re gonna cheat on me, at least be subtle about it!”  
  
“ _What?_ ” Harry gapes at him. “You can’t seriously think I’m cheating on you? Are you fucking joking?”  
  
“Well, I dunno, do I? We never fuck anymore, so you’ve must be getting it from –”  
  
“Our sex life has nothing to do with Louis,” Harry says, furious. “I can’t believe you would honestly think –”  
  
“What am I supposed to think?” Xavier cries. “You’re not happy at home, but I hear at work you’re always happy, and the difference is either him, or a lack of – you know, of me.” His voice dwindles into a sad tone, and Harry deflates.  
  
“I love you,” Harry says dully. “I don’t get where this is coming from. Louis’s my best friend, of course he makes me happy – but so do you. I love you and I’m marrying you. If I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t be.”  
  
Xavier seems to deflate as well. He looks like he really wants to believe Harry. “Really?”  
  
“Of course,” Harry says. “I’m marrying _you_ ,” he says again, and Xavier gives him a sorry look.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he says. “Can I hug you?”  
  
Harry smiles. “C’mere.”  
  
When he has Harry wrapped up in his arms, which is always solid and comforting, Xavier says, “I’m sorry. I just love you so much, I get stupid.”  
  
Harry forgives him and they have make-up sex, which is the first time they’ve had sex in about a month, Harry realises. And it’s okay. As Xavier falls asleep next to him, though, Harry lies awake and wonders if he really is unhappy at home but happy at work, and what that actually means.

 

***

 

Things are weird at work the next day. He feels like Louis is avoiding him, and Liam seems very pleased with himself, like this all worked out according to plan. Harry’s still stuck on the things Xavier had said, and how Harry felt when he said them.  
  
He tries to busy himself in work, but there’s only so much he has to do, and he breezes through it without Louis distracting him.  
  
Midway through the morning, Xavier comes upstairs with a coffee for Harry. He used to do that all the time; there’s a café downstairs, and Harry’s always liked their mochaccinos. Xavier used to bring him up a coffee every day, then it was every few days, and now Harry’s pretty sure the last time was a few weeks ago.  
  
So this is clearly an apology mochaccino. Harry appreciates it anyway, and he smiles at Xavier and takes the cup from him. “Thank you,” he says.  
  
“Anytime,” Xavier says. “You know, I realised it’s been a while since I did this. Sorry about that.”  
  
Harry’s surprised. “That’s okay,” he says.  
  
“It’s not, not really,” Xavier says. “I mean, you do so much for me. What do I do in return? No wonder you’re not happy.”  
  
Harry frowns. “I am, though,” he says, and Xavier smiles sadly.  
  
“Alright, Haz,” he says, and then he raps his knuckles against the desk. “S’pose I’d better go back.”  
  
Harry starts to say goodbye, and then he sees Louis approach in his peripheral.  
  
“Hey Xavier, wait a sec,” Louis says. He looks nervous. Harry twitches in sympathy. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for whatever that looked like yesterday. I promise I’m not trying to do anything – Harry’s just my best mate. That’s it.”  
  
Xavier nods. He doesn’t exactly look happy, but he’s not angry either. “I’m sorry too, I overreacted,” he says. “I know you’re just friends.”  
  
Louis nods. “I promise there’s nothing else going on. I’d never.”  
  
Xavier nods too and holds out his hand, and Louis shakes it. Then Xavier says goodbye to the both of them and goes back to the warehouse, and Louis turns to Harry with a smile.  
  
“So,” he says. “How’s your morning been?”  
  
They chat for a while, and everything feels normal again. And Harry should be happy, he knows. It’s good that Xavier and Louis have mended things, and it’s good that Louis’s back to his usual self. Harry’s just. He just feels off, for some reason.

 

***

 

The travelling salesman from the Leeds office pops in to pick up some extra CD-Roms, and the whole office implodes. Everyone falls in love with him – he’s witty, and funny, and exceedingly kind. He’s also quite handsome. All the girls are fawning over him, even Jesy, who’s in a serious relationship. It also seems like all the guys are hanging off his every word. He has the entire office eating out of the palm of his hand.  
  
His name’s Greg. Harry and Louis both hang back, they’re not really in the habit of getting involved with the shiny new toys of the office. Harry’s kind of glad Louis hasn’t been sucked in by Greg. As the only other gay guy here, as far as Harry knows, he was a bit curious to see if Louis would be interested. It’s almost a relief that he’s not. Harry doesn’t know what it is about Greg, but he knows that he doesn’t want to lose Louis’s attention to him.  
  
Louis must chat with Greg at some point, though, because after lunch, after Greg leaves, Louis hangs by Harry’s desk and says that he has a date with Greg for that night.  
  
“He won’t be in Manchester long, so we thought there wasn’t much point in waiting,” Louis says.  
  
“Right, good plan,” Harry says faintly. He feels sick, and it takes him all afternoon to identify the feeling as jealousy.

 

***

 

Every so often, Louis dies of boredom.  
  
He drops his head on his desk and can’t work anymore. And their deal is, it’s up to Harry to revive him.  
  
Everyone in the office has to fill out their expense reports from the last quarter by the end of the day. Harry’s pretty sure that’s what’s killed Louis. Also, Ben and Liam are out today, which has taken away Louis’s two main sources of distraction. Alright. What can Harry do.  
  
He pulls up the Word document he has, titled ‘ _cures for office boredom_ ’, which is basically a huge list that he’s compiled over the years. Every now and then he searches the internet and adds to it, so there’s a lot there they haven’t done. Harry skims through the list, and then he smiles. That’s it. Office Olympics.  
  
Harry picks up the phone and dials Louis’s extension. Louis, still with his head on his desk, jumps when his phone rings. Then he picks it up.  
  
“Syco Software, this is Louis.”  
  
“Guess what time it is?” Harry asks.  
  
Louis looks over at him, his eyebrows raised. “What time is it?”  
  
“It’s time for the Office Olympics,” Harry announces.  
  
Louis’s face completely lights up. “ _Yes_ ,” he says. “You figure out the teams – sorry, countries – and I’ll organise the events.”  
  
Office Olympics is something they came up with a while back, so they already know exactly what they want to do. They’ve even run it by most people in the office before now. They’ve just been waiting for the perfect storm – a day when both Ben and Liam are out of the office, and there’s nothing but boring busywork to do.  
  
Harry decides there’ll be five teams, so he gets out a piece of paper and writes down the first five countries that come to mind: Ireland, USA, Australia, Japan, and France. Then he randomly assigns people to countries – except he puts Niall in Ireland, and Julian in USA, because that’s where they’re from and he knows there’ll be complaints if they’re not in the right country. He also purposely puts himself and Louis in the same country – Australia – because what’s the point if he’s not on Louis’s team? He ends up with three people in each country, which is actually perfect. He’s really pleased with how that turned out.  
  
Harry writes out an email outlining the teams and sends it to everyone. Within minutes, he has the attention of the entire office.  
  
Turns out everyone’s on board. There’s twenty minutes to go until they start, since Harry said opening ceremonies will be at 10:30, so Harry decides to make some gold, silver, and bronze medals using string he found in the supply cupboard, tin foil from the kitchen, and some metallic Sharpies.

*

Louis finishes setting up right before 10:30, and he and Harry gather everyone in front of reception. Harry has a stash of scented candles behind his desk that he puts in the bathrooms, so Louis lights one of those and makes a speech about the eternal flame of the office.  
  
Louis’s come up with four events. The first one is a trivia game, with questions about their office, company and coworkers. Ireland (aka Niall, Ed, and James) wins that one – France comes second, and Australia, Harry’s team, comes third.   
  
The second event is Paper Wad Basketball. Louis’s put a bin at the end of the hallway leading to the lifts, and he’s made a stack of paper balls. The idea is that everyone has to stand three meters away, and each team gets ten balls to throw into the bin. Japan wins that one (so Jesy, Leigh Anne and Oli), Australia comes second, and USA comes third.  
  
The third event is a relay race up and down the stairs – holding a mug of hot tea or coffee. The key is speed, and a lack of spillage is important, so each spill amounts to five seconds deducted off the time. It takes ages, each team going one at a time, and results in several sore hands. Harry finds it extremely difficult. France comes first this time (Jade, Perrie, and Lou), with Japan coming second and Australia coming third – purely because of Louis and Zayn, no thanks to Harry.  
  
Going into the final event, it’s anyone’s game – except Team USA (Julian, Caroline, and Dan, who’s gotten more and more pissed off as the games have gone on). Japan and France are on five points, Australia is on four, and Ireland is on three, so technically any one of them could win it. Harry feels himself getting competitive all of a sudden, and he gets the same vibe from Louis.  
  
The final event seems to take as much skill as it does luck. Louis calls it Rubber Band Archery, and the goal is to flick a rubber band at the centre of a target Louis’s pinned to the wall. Each team member gets five attempts each, and the team with the most successful attempts wins.  
  
It’s hard. Harry practises before it’s Australia’s turn, but he keeps snapping his fingers. Louis’s a pro at it, but both Harry and Zayn only hit the target twice. And then France takes a turn, and Jade’s incredible; she hits the target every time. France wins. Australia comes second, and Ireland comes third.  
  
That leaves them with France on eight points, Australia on six, Japan on five, Ireland on four and USA on one. Harry goes back to his desk and makes a string of paper doves for the Closing ceremonies.

* 

It’s such a fun day. They’re not finished until three, but two hours is plenty of time to finish the expense reports when Ben isn’t there bothering everyone. Harry and Louis are talking after the ceremonies about how they have to do it again – Louis wants to talk to Ben about making it an actual thing, across several days. He says he has tons more ideas and he thinks it’d be good for morale.  
  
When Louis walks away, Dan comes over to Harry’s desk. Immediately. Like he was waiting for the moment Louis left.  
  
“What a surprise the two of you came second,” Dan sneers. “What with you organising it. I’ll bet you rigged it.”  
  
Harry frowns, confused. “If we rigged it, why didn’t we win?”  
  
“To shake suspicion, obviously,” Dan says, rolling his eyes. “Come on, Harry, you two chose the events. I’m sure you chose ones you knew you could do.”  
  
Harry tries to bite his tongue. He knows Dan’s just upset because it took him so long to get up the stairs with his cup of coffee. But he can’t help asking, “What events would you have come up with, then?”  
  
“Oh, I have a great game, actually,” Dan says. “I play it every day.”  
  
“Really,” Harry says. “You should’ve suggested it then.”  
  
“Oh, I don’t think you’d have liked that,” Dan says. “See, my game is, I keep a tally of the amount of times Louis gets up from his desk and comes over here, to talk to you.”  
  
Harry’s mouth drops open slightly. “What are – what d’you mean by that?”  
  
“Nothing,” says Dan. “Although I probably shouldn’t show it to Xavier, should I. He might get the wrong idea.”  
  
Then he turns and walks away as Harry fishmouths after him. He’s such a smug, smarmy bastard. He’s always trying to rile Harry up, and he always succeeds. Harry hates that so much.   
  
He tries not to think about it, tries instead to focus on the perfectly lovely day he's had. But Dan's insinuation snakes its way into Harry's mind, like they always do, and it makes him feel off-kilter.

 

***

 

Ben’s been acting weird all morning. Harry’s been keeping an eye on him. He’s stayed inside his office, which is unusual, and periodically he’s been letting out these really loud groans. It’s the way he gets when he has to look over something he doesn’t quite understand, but he doesn’t have anything pressing to do today, Harry’s checked.  
  
It’s very weird.  
  
Eventually he notices Harry looking at him and beckons him into his office. Harry gets up.  
  
“Shut the door,” Ben says, and Harry does. “I have a hypothetical question. Who do you think is the worst in the office? Like, at their job?”  
  
Harry frowns. He can maybe guess where this is going. “I… don’t know,” he says.  
  
“C’mon, Harry,” says Ben. “Think! I won’t tell them.”  
  
That’s not really Harry’s issue. “What’s going on, Ben?” he asks.  
  
Ben drops his head back and groans again. “Meredith said I had to fire someone by the end of the month.”  
  
There’s two days to go until the last day of August. What the fuck. “Why did you leave it so late?” Harry asks, even though he knows the answer.  
  
“Because I don’t want to do it, Harry,” Ben cries. “Help me. Can’t you just pick someone? Who’s your least favourite person here?”  
  
Wow, Harry really does not want that responsibility. Even though part of him’s tempted to say Dan, or Oli, or even Liam, he can’t be responsible for someone losing their job. No matter how much he dislikes them, or how much easier it would make his life.  
  
“I like everyone,” he lies.  
  
Ben lets out a long sigh. “That’s completely useless,” he says. “Maybe I’ll just fire Ed. He’s always getting me in trouble with Corporate.”  
  
Harry bites his tongue, because no, Ben’s always getting himself in trouble with Corporate. But he really likes Ed, so he has to say, “You’d have to get another HR person, and they’d do the exact same thing. Plus, Ed’s good for morale. Who would play guitar at our parties?”  
  
Niall would, probably, but Ben just sighs again. “Yeah, okay,” he says. He looks so defeated, Harry has to try to help.  
  
“Do you want to know what I would do?”  
  
“Yes,” Ben says, perking up like he actually thinks that now Harry’s going to say who he’d fire.  
  
“I’d make a list of all the departments and all the people in them. Figure out which department has too many people, and who in it is least essential. If you _have_ to fire someone, you can’t be emotional about it. You’ve gotta look at it as a logistics thing.”  
  
Ben sighs for the hundredth time and drops his head. “Okay, thanks Harry,” he says. “You can go.” 

* 

“He has to fire someone,” Harry tells Louis at lunch. Louis looks thoughtful for a minute, and then his eyes sparkle.  
  
“What if… we get someone to quit instead?” Louis asks, and Harry smiles.  
  
“What do you have in mind?”  
  
“I’ve been thinking about this one for a while,” Louis says, leaning forward and clasping his hands together on the table in front of him. He looks like a proper businessman pitching a million pound idea. “We make up a really impressive resume. For Liam. And apply for jobs. Preferably ones quite far away.”  
  
Harry cackles. “I’m in.”

* 

Louis joins Harry at reception after lunch, and they come up with a resume. It’s kind of hilarious, turning all of Liam’s traits into something desirable. They make Ben his only reference, with Louis explaining that Harry can redirect the call to Louis’s extension.  
  
“He’s either going to actually get the job and then he’ll leave, or he’s going to blow it and it’ll be hilarious,” Louis says gleefully. “Either way, it’s a win-win for us.”  
  
Harry spends the rest of the day in a state of excited anxiety, his heart jumping every time the phone rings. Logically he knows they’d only just put in Liam’s applications, so he probably wouldn’t be phoned yet. Harry just can’t wait for it to happen.  
  
He pouts at Louis when they’re heading to the lifts at the end of the day, and Louis laughs and ruffles his hair.  
  
“Patience, Curly,” he says. “Sometimes the payoff is even sweeter if you’ve got to wait for it.”

*

The next day, as soon as Louis gets in, he asks Liam if anything interesting happened to him after work yesterday. Harry smiles.  
  
Liam makes a face. “Not really,” he says. “I watched the new episode of The Flash. It was good, can’t wait for next week. Is that what you mean?”  
  
“Uh,” Louis says. “Yep. Definitely. I didn’t see it, what happened?”  
  
“I’m not going to tell you,” Liam says, scandalised. “You have to watch for yourself!”  
  
“Right,” Louis says, and then he winks at Harry when Liam stops paying attention to him.

 *

It happens at 11:23. Liam’s mobile rings and Harry perks up.  
  
“Yes, this is Liam Payne,” Liam says, and then he listens to whoever’s speaking with a slight frown on his face. “McAfee? Really?”  
  
Harry almost squeals. He and Louis had applied for a bunch of British companies, but they also thought they should go for the big guns too. He’d never actually dreamed that McAfee would call, let alone be the first.  
  
“Can I ask how you got my resume?” Liam asks, and after a minute his eyes slide to Ben in his office, playing with the camera on his desk. The look on Liam’s face is priceless; Harry knows the McAfee person has said that he was recommended by his employer, and now Liam’s sending Ben a look of smug gratitude. Like he knows this was due to his own merit, but he’s thankful Ben did it.  
  
And Ben’s just wasting time taking pictures of the wall in his office.  
  
Harry and Louis exchange a smile. Harry’s trying so hard not to laugh. He really wishes he could hear the whole phone call, not just Liam’s end of it.  
  
“Oh, that’s definitely correct,” Liam says. “I’m definitely the best seller at my current company. I can send over my sales record if you’d like – yes… well, I’m not sure about that – but yes, I’d absolutely be willing to relocate. Oh, I think I could really be an asset to you also.”  
  
Harry bites his lip. McAfee definitely think Liam is a million times more qualified and extraordinary than he is. While Liam is actually the best seller at Syco, and the most committed, Louis had made it seem like he was essential to the operation of the company. He’s sure McAfee think they’d be getting a sales wizard.  
  
“Oh,” Liam says, and his cheeks pinken. “Well, thank you. I can see why you’d think so… hm, is that so? I think you may have an old copy of my resume, I should send you over a new one – I’ve moved up a class in boxing, you see… Of course that’s relevant, what do you mean?”  
  
Harry snorts, and Louis widens his eyes at him. Liam’s not paying any attention, though, clearly frustrated with whoever he’s talking to.  
  
“It makes me the most valuable part of any office,” Liam says. “If we’re attacked, I’m positioned to defend – no, well, it hasn’t, but if it did – ”  
  
Harry ducks his head under the bench part of his desk and silently laughs into his hands. _Fuck_.  
  
“How could you say that?” Liam cries, his voice getting shriller. Harry presses his head against his desk, almost in tears. “It not only makes me a more valuable asset, but it’s an important interest of mine! Isn’t that included in resumes? Hobbies and interests? … It is relevant! How dare you?!”  
  
When Harry peeks above the bench of his desk, Liam’s voice has risen so much that everyone is staring at him.  
  
“Well, I’m not sure I want to work for a company that would belittle my skills like that! If you can’t see how valuable it makes me – of course I know other words, that’s just the most fitting one – ”  
  
This time Louis makes a strangled sort of noise. When Harry looks at him, he’s looking back with wide eyes, his lips pressed together. Looking at him makes Harry want to laugh even more.  
  
“ _What_?” Liam screeches. “How dare you question my sales record?!”  
  
Oh, Harry can’t take it. His stomach hurts from holding in his laughter.  
  
“That’s it! I wouldn’t work for you in a million years! I will, it’s a better company than you by miles! Yeah, same to you mate!” Liam pulls the phone away from his ear and viciously presses the end call button. He slams his phone onto his desk, breathing heavily.  
  
The office is silent for a moment, everyone looking around warily.  
  
“Everything okay, Liam?” Jade asks tentatively.  
  
Liam lets out a whoosh of air. “Yeah,” he says. “Just some wanker at McAfee trying to offer me a job.”  
  
“Are you sure that’s what was happening?” Louis asks.  
  
“Yes,” Liam says, and then he looks at Ben’s office. Ben’s still playing with his camera, totally oblivious. “Actually…” Liam gets up and marches into Ben’s office.  
  
Louis stands too and comes over to Harry.  
  
“How much d’you wanna bet he’s trying to leverage a non-existent offer from McAfee?” Louis asks.  
  
Harry lets out a surprised laugh, then Louis turns and they both watch Ben and Liam. Ben’s face absolutely lights up for a moment, and then Liam says something and his expression drops. Then he says something angrily and yells for Liam to get out.  
  
Liam does, and heads back to his desk looking disappointed. Louis whirls around, grinning at Harry.  
  
“That was amazing,” Harry says. “I almost feel bad for him.”  
  
“Don’t,” Louis says. “He nicked my contract renewal with In Touch on Monday, when Ben had me stuck in his office.”  
  
“What?” Harry says. “But that’s like a quarter of your yearly commission!”  
  
Maybe Harry shouldn’t know that, but In Touch Networks is one of their more important clients. Louis always looks forward to their contract renewal.  
  
“Yes, Styles, I know,” Louis says, both exasperated and amused. “So. He deserved it.”  
  
“You don’t deserve _that_ ,” Harry says. “I know he’s pinched clients from you before, but never anyone that important…”  
  
“I think it was partly by accident,” Louis says. “We’d been trying to get in contact all day and kept missing each other. Then, when I was in with Ben, apparently they called Liam’s extension instead of mine by mistake.” Louis shrugs. “He said he thought it would be unprofessional to correct them. And that he worked the sale, so he should get the commission.”  
  
“Fuck that,” Harry says. “Fuck, Lou. You deserve so much better than this place.” An idea strikes him, then. “You should be the one applying for those jobs.”  
  
Several weird, unidentifiable expressions flit across Louis’s face before he huffs a laugh. “Are you forgetting the part where we exaggerated Liam’s – everything?”  
  
“Well, but you still should,” Harry says. “You’d be such a good fit for some of them, I’m sure. You just – you shouldn’t be stuck here.”  
  
Louis gives him a funny look. “Right, yeah,” he says. “Okay.” Then he turns and goes back to his desk. Harry doesn’t quite understand what just happened. 

*

Louis doesn’t talk to him for the rest of the day. It’s horrible and Harry still doesn’t really get why. Louis does say goodbye on his way out, his voice detached and weird, and Harry gets up quickly and follows him out.  
  
“Hey, Lou, wait,” he says once they’re out near the lifts. Louis stops and turns around. “I’m sorry about what I said, about the jobs.”  
  
Louis shrugs. A corner of his mouth is still down-turned. Harry hates that.  
  
“I was being stupid,” he continues. “I mean, yeah, I do believe you deserve better than this place. But if you left I don’t know what I’d do. I’d have to follow you.”  
  
Louis’s mouth quirks into a smile. Harry relaxes.  
  
“What, Styles, d’you plan to get a reception gig wherever I work?” Louis asks, and Harry smiles.  
  
“Exactly,” he says. “That’s exactly my plan.”  
  
“Well,” Louis says. “I don’t think McAfee’s hiring for reception. I guess we’ll both have to stay here.”  
  
Harry’s grin widens. “I guess so,” he says. 

*

Harry starts the last day of August with Dan dropping a stack of folders on his desk.   
  
“These are all of our suppliers,” Dan says. “From program design to production. I need you to go through each of them and photocopy the pages that say when our contracts end and how much we’re paying them.”  
  
“Good morning to you too, Dan,” Harry says, sitting down at his desk. “And… what? Why?”  
  
He’s never had to do that before. And why is he the one doing it? Harry’s starting to wonder what it is Dan even does here. It seems like Harry does all of his work.  
  
“Because I need it done,” Dan says with a roll of his eyes. He pushes the stack of folders closer to Harry. “By midday.”  
  
“Right,” Harry says dully. “Yeah, okay.” He’s going to have to move things around on his to-do list.  
  
“Oh, also,” Dan says before he goes, leaning closer to Harry’s desk. “Was I seeing things yesterday or did you and Louis have a lovers tiff?”  
  
Harry frowns. “What? We’re not – ”  
  
“Spare me,” Dan spits. “Everyone knows you’re fucking him.”  
  
Harry’s mouth drops open.  
  
“What was it yesterday? Was he upset you still haven’t left your dropkick fiancé?”  
  
“Xavier is not a dropkick,” Harry fumes, his fists clenching. “And Louis and I are _friends_.”  
  
Dan laughs. It’s not a pleasant sound. “Uh huh,” he says. “By midday, Styles.”  
  
Louis comes back from the kitchen as Dan walks away. He’s holding two cups of tea, and he sets one on his desk before bringing the other over to Harry.  
  
“You alright, love?” Louis asks.  
  
Harry feels like he’s snapped out of a daze. “Oh. Yeah. Thanks.”  
  
“Of course,” Louis says. “What happened, what did that dickhead want?”  
  
Harry frowns. He never tells Louis about the insinuations Dan makes. He doesn’t know why, exactly; it feels like the sort of thing they should be able to laugh at together. But Harry just doesn’t find it very funny.  
  
“He wants me to go through those,” Harry gestures to the folders. “And photocopy the pages about payment and the end of contracts.”  
  
Louis looks down at the folders, his nose scrunched up in confusion. “These are our suppliers,” he says. “That seems… shady.”  
  
“Yeah, I thought it was odd,” Harry says.  
  
“And why couldn’t he do it himself? Or get Zayn to do it? We have a temp for a reason.”  
  
Harry shrugs.  
  
“He walks all over you, sunshine,” Louis says gently. “You don’t have to take it.”  
  
“I know,” Harry says. “But I don’t want to upset anyone.”  
  
Louis studies him, his expression calculating, and then he picks up the stack of folders and marches over to Dan’s desk.  
  
Harry blinks after him for a moment. Then he follows, although he hangs a desk clump behind. He wants to support Louis, especially when he’s acting on his behalf, but he doesn’t want to be yelled at.  
  
Louis drops the folders on Dan’s desk, making him jump. “Do your own dirty work,” Louis says. “Or get Zayn to do it, it’s more his job than Harry’s. Harry isn’t your fucking personal assistant. He doesn’t have to do any of the shit you demand of him.”  
  
Dan looks shocked for a minute, and then a shit-eating grin spreads across his slimy face. “Can’t handle anyone else telling your boy what to do, eh, Tomlinson?”  
  
Louis doesn’t reply for a second. Harry can’t see his face, and he feels sick. Half of the office is watching; Harry really doesn’t want Dan to start insinuating anything.  
  
“Fuck you,” Louis says, then he spins on his heel and heads straight to Ben’s office.  
  
Dan’s still grinning after him, and then his eyes land on Harry and he sneers. “Can’t fight your own battles, eh, Styles?”  
  
“I, no,” Harry says. “I don’t… mind. But he’s right.”  
  
“Of course you’d say that,” Dan says. Then he waves a hand. “Fine. If you can’t handle the simplest of tasks, I’ll ask Zayn. Always knew you were rather slow.”  
  
Harry breathes in sharply. He doesn’t know if he’s more offended or angry. He forces himself to go back to his desk before he does anything to get himself fired.  
  
Nobody comes over to comfort him, and Louis is still in talking with Ben. It’s one of the things Harry dislikes most about this office; the lack of compassion. They all love watching shit go down, but nobody has a kind word to say afterwards.  
  
Well, that’s not entirely true. Ed and maybe Niall would be comforting him if they weren’t over in the annex. And Jade’s not in today, she’s usually quite kind. So it’s not everyone. Just most of them. 

*

Ben calls Dan into his office only a few minutes after Louis leaves it. Louis shoots Harry a quick little smile, and Harry suddenly remembers that Ben’s supposed to fire someone today.  
  
He doesn’t want to get his hopes up, because this might not even be related to that, but then Dan starts yelling. It’s muffled, due to the closed door, but it’s pretty clear he’s angry.  
  
Louis raises his eyebrows at Harry, looking pleased with himself. Harry has to smile back.  
  
Ben’s door is wrenched open with a loud rattle and Dan storms over to his desk. He upends the box he and Lou use for recycling, all the paper inside tumbling to the floor, and starts shoving his belongings inside.  
  
“You don’t have to leave just yet,” Ben says. “You can stay until the end of the day.”  
  
“Why the fuck would I do that,” Dan says through gritted teeth. As he finishes throwing his stuff in the box, a sick sort of satisfaction is curling through Harry’s gut. Jesus. This is really happening.  
  
Dan picks up his box and starts to walk towards the door, and then he drops his box onto the cabinet beside Louis’s desk clump.  
  
“ _You_ ,” he says. “This is your fault.”  
  
Louis tilts his head to the side. “Me?” he says, blinking up at Dan innocently. “What did I do?”  
  
“Fuck you, you insolent little shit,” Dan growls. “You’re so fucking incompetent it’s laughable, you’d think you were getting paid to moon over Styles, that’s the only thing you actually do well around here!”  
  
Louis looks a bit pale, and yeah, Harry fucking hates Dan. How could he say that about Louis, who’s anything but incompetent, who when he puts his mind to it is the brightest person in this office?  
  
Then a slow smile spreads across Louis’s face. “Remind me, Dan, what is it _you_ do here?”  
  
“I’ll fucking ruin you!” Dan bellows.  
  
“Alright, that’s enough,” Ben says. “If you’re going to leave then leave. Don’t make me call security.”  
  
“I’ve worked here for eleven years,” Dan yells, rounding on Ben. “I’m close personal friends with Simon! You’ll regret this!”  
  
“Are you really?” Ben drawls. “I wonder why he’s never mentioned you.”  
  
Dan splutters. “We’re good friends,” he insists. “I’ll see that he punishes you for this.”  
  
“I was told to let someone go,” Ben says. “That didn’t come with an asterisk saying Not Dan Wootton. Think it’s safe to say Simon doesn’t care about you.”  
  
Dan visibly shakes with rage, then he picks up his box of stuff and storms towards the door. “Fuck you Ben, and fuck the rest of you too,” he yells before he slams the door behind him.  
  
The office is silent for a moment. Ben takes a deep breath.  
  
“Thank you, Ben,” Harry says. He never thought he’d say it, but Ben actually did the right thing. 

*

“I owe you,” Harry says to Louis later.  
  
Louis shrugs. “He made you miserable,” he says. “And he’s a bastard. I hated him too.”  
  
Harry smiles. “Still. Name your price.”  
  
Louis chuckles. “Dunno. Have lunch with me?”  
  
“I’d’ve done that anyway,” Harry says with a laugh.  
  
“Well,” Louis says, tapping his finger against his chin. “We could go to the café next door.”  
  
Harry nods. “Yeah, alright,” he says. “And it’s on me.”  
  
“If you insist,” Louis says, grinning. “Was as much for me as you, Curly. We’re all better off without him.”  
  
“Okay,” Harry says. He can’t stop smiling; he _knows_ it was mostly for him.  
  
“But I’ll take a free lunch,” Louis says, and Harry laughs.  
  
“He was wrong, by the way,” Harry says after a minute. “You aren’t incompetent. You’re amazing.”  
  
Louis smiles at him softly, his eyes fond. “Thanks, love,” he says. “I tend to assume Dan’s wrong about everything, but that’s nice to hear.”  
  
“Anytime,” Harry says. He taps his fingers against Louis’s desk. “Okay. See you at lunch.”  
  
Louis’s laugh rings out behind him as he walks back to his desk. Harry grins at him once he sits down.

* 

Going down to the café for lunch is so, so much nicer than eating sandwiches or leftovers in the breakroom. If it weren’t a question of money Harry would suggest they do this every day.  
  
“What’d you end up saying to Ben, anyway?” Harry asks.  
  
Louis shrugs. “The truth,” he says. “That Dan’d been bullying you, that nobody'd care if he left, and that I had reason to believe he might be doing something shady with our suppliers.”  
  
“And Ben believed you?”  
  
Louis shrugs again. “Must have,” he says. “I dunno, Dan probably said something to incriminate himself. He’s a fucking moron after all.”  
  
Harry snorts. “Yeah,” he says. “Well, I’m glad you did. Say something, I mean. S’gonna make work a lot more pleasant, I think.”  
  
Louis smiles. “Honestly, it was my pleasure.”

 

***

 

September begins with Corporate sending out a memo to say that the company will be instituting a Take Your Children To Work Day. Ed holds a meeting to tell everyone and answer any questions, since Ben is woefully uninformed on the subject. (Harry knows he got several emails about it. He just ignored them.)  
  
The whole concept is pretty weird, and it’s definitely not a British thing – Harry Googles it and finds out that it’s only done in the States, Canada and Australia – but Ed just shrugs when that’s pointed out.  
  
“Dunno what to tell you,” he says. “Dunno why we’re doing it, exactly. I heard something about Simon wanting to copy American businesses – but your guess is as good as mine.”  
  
In the end, Harry’s pretty excited. It’s only a week away, and Harry loves kids. American or not, he thinks this is a fun idea. 

*

Harry comes into work early on Take Your Children To Work Day. He’s bought extra sweets for his desk – a lot of extra sweets, maybe too many, if he’s honest. But he really wants the kids to like him, and if you can’t bribe kids with lollies, what can you bribe them with?  
  
Okay. That’s a thought he’s not going to be repeating out loud. But the point stands.  
  
Slowly, people start trickling in with their children. Lou brings her three year old Lux in, and Caroline brings her two year old Brooklyn. James has two kids, four year old Max and baby Carey. Harry’s met all of these kids before, has even had dinner at James’s house once, but he definitely doesn’t think any of them will remember him.  
  
They don’t. Carey barely acknowledges him. Max takes a handful of sweets and says thank you, then waddles off behind James. Brooklyn doesn’t even look at him, glued to her mother’s side. Lux is the only one who actually says hello.  
  
“Hi,” she says, big blue eyes staring up at him. “I’m Lux.”  
  
“Hi, I’m Harry,” Harry says.  
  
“Nice to meet you,” she says formally. Harry tries not to laugh.  
  
“Very nice to meet you too,” he says, then tips one of his sweet bowls in her direction. “Would you like a sweet?”  
  
Lux looks at her mum first, who nods, and then she takes two lollypops. “Fank you, Harry,” she says.  
  
“You’re welcome,” Harry says, beaming. “You can come back anytime.”  
  
Lux nods seriously, and then Lou ushers her over to her desk.  
  
So, not an overly encouraging start. But Harry isn’t going to let it get him down.  
  
He’s just looking over his to-do list for the day when the front door opens and he hears two more squealing little voices. That’s odd. Nobody else in the office has kids. And then he looks up.  
  
Oh. Louis’s come in the door, and he’s got two toddlers with him, one with bright red curls and the other with long blonde hair. He’s smiling at them and shushing them, and Harry’s heart is slamming in his chest. Louis doesn’t – okay. Louis doesn’t have kids. Harry vaguely remembers something about young twin siblings and calms down. This must be them.  
  
He’s confused for a moment, only because he thought Louis’s family lived in Doncaster, but then he remembers that Louis’s new stepdad is from Manchester. Maybe his family are out here for a visit.  
  
“Hi,” Louis says when they get to reception, grinning at Harry. He hoists the blonde kid up onto his hip. “You guys wanna meet someone special?”  
  
The blonde one nods while the redhead shouts yes.  
  
“Shhh,” Louis says. Harry gets the feeling he’ll be saying that all day. “Okay, munchkins, this is Harry. Remember that. _Harry_.”  
  
The redhead looks impatient. “I’m Doris,” she says. “And that’s Ernie.”  
  
“Very nice to meet you,” Harry says, like he had with Lux.  
  
“Harry’s a lovely person,” Louis tells his siblings seriously. “And if you’re very good today, he’ll give you some sweets.”  
  
“Oooh,” Doris says, noticing the bowls on Harry’s desk. “Now?”  
  
“No, I said later, if you’re good,” Louis says. Ernie unlatches his face from Louis’s neck to see.  
  
“Please, Achoo?” Doris says, pouting a bit. Harry’s heart swells, it’s too cute. She called him _Achoo_ , for Chrissakes.  
  
“Don’t give me that face, little miss,” Louis says. “C’mon, let’s get you to my desk.”

 *

Harry, Jesy and Jade, as The Party Planning Committee, have blocked out the entire day for activities with the kids. There’s a good thirty minutes at the start of the day free, though, to give the kids some time to settle in and get used to the office environment. Harry uses the time to check his phone messages and reply to some emails, but he can’t help shooting glances at Louis and his adorable brother and sister. He’s pulled a chair out from the conference room and put it beside his desk for Doris and Ernie to share. They’re asking him to explain everything on his desk. Harry keeps finding himself smiling fondly.  
  
Ben comes out of his office a few minutes before 9:30.  
  
“Is everyone here, then?” he asks, and Harry nods. Everyone’s been here for a solid thirty minutes at least. “Good. Hello children,” he booms grandly, spreading out his arms. “Welcome to our little kingdom! This is where your mum or dad comes every day, and these people are their family away from home. That makes us your family too.”  
  
Harry catches James shaking his head at his kids.  
  
“Welcome! We’re very happy to have you,” Ben continues. “I’m Ben, and I’m the big boss here. That makes me like the daddy of the office.”  
  
Wow. Harry really wishes he’d never heard that. He exchanges a horrified look with Louis.  
  
“Please feel free to wander around and talk to whoever you’d like. Just don’t touch anything without asking first. And, without further ado, let me introduce you to today’s coordinator – Harry?”  
  
Harry stands up.  
  
“Harry’s in charge of you, so I’ll leave him to it,” Ben says, then he disappears back into his office.  
  
“Right,” Harry says. “Erm, well, actually, Jade and Jesy are in charge too.” He gestures for the girls to stand up, and they do. “That’s Jade, and that’s Jesy, and I’m Harry. We’ve got some fun stuff planned for you today, so you hopefully won’t be bored sitting in our stuffy office.”  
  
Harry looks around, seeing that each child is staring at him with wide eyes.  
  
“Um,” he says. “Right. Time for our first activity, I think. Kids follow me, and anyone else who’d like to join.”  
  
He leads everyone into the conference room, which has been more or less set up to look like a preschool room. Harry thinks it looks pretty good. They’ve collected a bunch of toys and colouring books and games, as well as pillows and blankets to make the space more comfortable.  
  
Luckily, they’d bought extras of everything, so there’s enough for Doris and Ernie too. The first activity doesn’t require anything anyway.  
  
“I hope it’s not a bother, having two extras,” Louis says quietly to Harry as everyone’s getting seated. “Mum and Dan are out here visiting his family, but they have tickets to some expo today and it’d just be a hassle to bring the kids. I asked Ben if I could bring them rather than bother with having them minded, he said we barely have any kids in this office so may as well. I gather he didn’t tell you, though.”  
  
Harry makes a face. “He didn’t, but it’s fine,” he says. “We’ve got extras of everything. And it’s wonderful to meet them.”  
  
Louis smiles, his whole face lighting up. “I’m happy you’re meeting them,” he says, earnestly but unnecessarily. It’s pretty obvious. Harry finds it quite endearing.  
  
The first thing planned for today is just a meet and greet sort of thing. More people had come into the conference room than Harry had expected, so there’s more than just the children and their parents, but that’s fine.  
  
“What we’re going to do is just go around the room and introduce ourselves,”: Harry says. “If you work here, you can explain what it is you do, and if you’re one of our young visitors, maybe you can tell us what you want to do when you grow up.”   
  
It goes smoothly, the first activity, and it's very cute, watching the kids talk about their dreams. Harry's looking forward to the rest of the day.

* 

At the end of the day, they gather the children in the conference room again for a bit of a jam session.  
  
Ed’s sat in the centre with his guitar, and each of the kids has a percussion instrument, borrowed from the school Jade’s mum works at. Niall’s leading them in a song that he seems to be making up as he goes along. Harry watches Louis singing with his brother and sister and can't stop smiling.  
  
It's been such a lovely day. Harry's bonded with Louis's siblings especially, which makes him happy. And he's loved watching Louis with them. Louis clearly loves them so much, and they love him, and he's so good with them, it tugs on Harry's heartstrings. Harry is so, so hopelessly endeared, and it feels weird, how much he loves that Louis is good with children. But he thinks that anyone would find it heartwarming, watching Louis with Doris and Ernie. It doesn't mean anything.  
  
That's starting to feel like Harry's life fucking motto.

 

***

 

Harry knows he thrives on routine.  
  
He and Xavier have a steady one at the moment. Have done for years now. They get up, Harry makes coffee and breakfast while Xavier showers, they eat, Harry showers and dresses, they drive to work. At work Harry has his to-do lists and Louis. He and Xavier drive home after work, and Harry puts tea on, and then they watch telly together while they browse Facebook and Instagram until bedtime. Or Xavier goes out. And that’s how it goes, every day.  
  
And Harry should be content with it. He knows he used to be.  
  
Harry thrives on routine. He’s not sure why his current routine makes him feel so empty.

 

*

 

Sometimes when Harry plays the Sims, he just lets them do whatever they like. Sometimes he gets busy work done while they go about their lives in the background. There’s something kind of soothing about it.  
  
That’s what he’s doing today. Liam’s at work, and Xavier’s watching TV, and Harry and Louis are in the same room as him, both very invested in the conversation they’re having. They’ve been giggling and swaying towards each other for ages; Harry’s been looking up periodically, expecting one of them to get bored and do something else, but it hasn’t happened.  
  
They’re kind of flirting, but they do that sometimes of their own accord. Harry just ignores it; his Sim is happily engaged after all. And then Harry looks up again, and Sim Harry and Sim Louis are kissing.  
  
Sim Xavier stops watching TV and jumps up, yelling. A notification pops up to say that Harry’s relationship with Xavier has suffered, but his relationship with Louis has improved.  
  
Harry stares at the screen, dumbfounded. He never, ever expected that to happen.  
  
He thinks his Sim self will be upset that his relationship with Xavier has been affected, but instead a new Wish pops up: Harry wants to kiss Louis. What the _fuck_.  
  
Harry cancels the wish, and in the time it takes him to do that, Sim Harry and Sim Louis are making out again. Harry cancels the action and hurriedly quits the game.  
  
The awful thing, though, is when it asks if he wants to save his progress, he clicks Yes.  
  
Or maybe the truly awful thing is that he kind of, sort of, maybe understands why Sim Harry did what he did.

 

*

 

Harry’s not unhappy. He’s not.  
  
Part of him thinks that if he has to keep telling himself that, it might not be true.  
  
He and Xavier are just in a rut, that’s all. It’s perfectly normal. They’ve been together for five years, it makes sense that their relationship would hit a lull.  
  
That’s what Harry thinks when he’s being optimistic. When he’s not, he wonders if he’s only with Xavier because it’s been five years, because he’s already committed so much time. Harry believes in fairytales, in true love and happily ever afters, he wants to be married with kids before he’s thirty. He wants that so badly that he wonders if he’s only with Xavier because they’re on track for it and being with him is easier than starting over with someone new. It’s better than being alone.  
  
When Harry was growing up, he watched his mum leave two unhappy marriages. Then he watched her search for her happy ending, not settling for anything less. And she met Robin, and she got her fairytale. Harry watched her and thought he’d be the same, except he’d wait to have kids until he met his soulmate. He remembers feeling a deep sadness when he realised that his parents weren’t right for each other, they weren’t each other’s happy endings. He vowed to only have kids with his soulmate, and to never settle for anything less.  
  
His sister Gemma fell in love with her childhood sweetheart, and they're still together. They're the definition of soulmates, Harry thinks. And when he got together with Xavier in secondary, he thought they were a similar story. It had felt right, back then.  
  
Now, it feels like everything's changed. Sometimes he wonders if he’s settling. If Xavier really is his soulmate. Sometimes he thinks they’re all wrong for each other, that they’re only together because they always have been, that if they met now they wouldn’t fall in love. He thinks the mere fact that he’s questioning it is a bad sign.  
  
In his darkest moments, he wonders if what he feels for Xavier really is love, true love, or if it’s just what his mum felt for his dad. If his true love is really out there, if there’s someone else who could make him feel so, so much more.

 

***

 

The Syco Spheres are coming up. Harry’s completely dreading it.  
  
It’s an awards ceremony Ben made up. Harry thinks the name is supposed to be inspired by the Golden Globes. It happens once a year, and Ben MCs, so it’s full of insulting jokes and insulting awards and every year Harry wins the Longest Engagement Award, which is always a slap in the face. He hates it.  
  
Harry’s positive they’re the only branch to have an awards show. The other branches don’t know how lucky they are.  
  
This year, Ben has Harry set up in the conference room, watching old videos of past Spheres to get inspiration for his speech and the awards. So not only does he have to get an award very soon that makes him feel terrible about himself, he has to watch his past self get the award over and over again.  
  
The third Spheres is the worst to look back on. It's Harry's second Spheres, he'd been out for only a few weeks, and had been engaged for a year, at that point. They’d actually had vague plans for the next spring. He’d laughed as he’d accepted the award, and he’d said, “Not for much longer!”  
  
He looks so young, so sure of what he wants. It makes Harry’s heart ache.  
  
Ben stops in after Harry’s finished watching the third year. “Oh good, you’ve only watched one,” he says, completely inaccurately. “I was thinking, since this is the fifth Spheres, it’s pretty special, yeah? We should have a highlights reel. Do you think you can mark down timestamps of the funniest moments?”  
  
“As well as keeping track of the awards and writing down your best jokes,” Harry says, already tired.  
  
“I’ll put together the highlight reel myself, don’t worry about that,” Ben says. “I studied film at uni, you know.”  
  
Yes. Harry knows. He sighs. “Sure,” he says. Ben leaves and Harry restarts the first video. At least he's not in this one.  
  
“Hey,” Louis says from the doorway. “You okay?”  
  
“Not really,” Harry says. “I’m basically cataloguing a trainwreck, right now.”  
  
“Plus, you know, having to watch yourself get the same award over and over again really builds up the suspense for Friday,” Louis says.  
  
“Yeah, that’s the worst part,” Harry says, and sighs. “It just gets sadder with each year, you know? I’m just watching myself, like, I’m getting older but I’m standing still.”  
  
“You’re _not_ ,” Louis says with a sympathetic frown. Harry kind of wishes he’d come inside and give Harry a hug, but he gets that that might be weird in the middle of the office. “There’s nothing wrong with having a long engagement. You’re not standing still.”  
  
Harry begs to differ, but he doesn’t. He just sighs for the millionth time and says, “Yeah, okay,” and starts up the video. Louis makes a noise, but when Harry looks back over, he’s gone. 

*

Ben insists every year that they dress up for the Spheres, and if they don’t, he roasts every aspect of their outfit from the stage. So Harry’s wearing one of his nicest shirts, which is made of silk and a creamy colour, unbuttoned to let his chest breathe, with tight black jeans and his most expensive hat and his gold glitter boots. He thinks he looks quite nice.  
  
Xavier wears a light blue button-up and black jeans, saying that he’s just worked all day and he’s tired, he’s not going to put in more effort than that. He looks nice enough, though, so it’s not like Harry’s bothered. He always rolls up the sleeves when he wears a button-up and it makes his arms look good.  
  
Every year, Ben rents out the back room of the same pub. When they get there, Xavier goes straight over to the boys from the warehouse, and Harry sighs and joins him. He spots Louis from across the room, and can’t help noticing that he looks better than usual – his usually shaggy hair is in a quiff, which makes him look sophisticated, and he’s wearing a blazer over a white button-up. It makes his shoulders look broader. Harry needs a drink.  
  
Ben starts with butchering the lyrics to Pharrell’s Happy, and then he has an opening monologue where he ‘playfully’ insults half the people there. He has a pretty harsh dig at the warehouse guys, something about them being lazy, and after the first award, Ashton and Michael are muttering about leaving. The next thing Harry knows, the whole warehouse group is leaving and Harry’s taken along with them. As he goes, all he sees is the matching disappointment on Louis and Ben’s faces.  
  
“Wait, stop,” he says to Xavier once they’re outside. “I don’t want to go.”  
  
“What? But you hate this whole stupid thing,” Xavier says.  
  
“I know, but – I don’t know, I think I have to stay,” Harry says.  
  
“God, Harry, you’re such a fucking pushover,” Xavier says. Harry’s blood boils immediately. “You don’t _have_ to do anything. Why don’t you come out with the boys, we’ll have a good time.”  
  
“No, you know what, I want to stay,” Harry says.  
  
“Haz, c’mon,” Xavier says.  
  
“No, you know, I’m just doing what you wanted, I’m just not being a pushover,” Harry says.  
  
Xavier sighs. “Get in the car, Haz.”  
  
“Don’t tell me what to do,” Harry says. “I said I’m staying. So I’m staying. Go have fun or whatever.”  
  
“Fine,” Xavier snaps. “See you later, then.”  
  
“Fucking fine,” Harry says, and valiantly does not flip him off as he walks back into the pub.  
  
Stupid fucking arsehole fiancés. He’s fuming by the time he gets inside and over to Louis’s table. How dare he assume that because Harry’s apparently a pushover, he’ll do whatever Xavier wants? Ugh.  
  
“You’re back,” Louis says, surprised.  
  
“Yep,” Harry says, and reaches over and steals Louis’s beer.  
  
“Sure, you can have that,” Louis says with a grin as Harry drains half of it.  
  
“Thanks,” Harry says. “My fiancé fucking sucks.”  
  
Louis laughs. “Okay. How are you getting home?”  
  
Harry shrugs. “I’ll go with someone. Get a tacky.”  
  
“Taxi?”  
  
“That’s what I said.”  
  
“Okay,” Louis says, laughing again. “I’ll look after you.”  
  
For some reason that makes Harry feel warm and pleasant. He can’t help smiling to himself, and wow. He might already be quite tipsy.  
  
“And next we have the award for Most Annoying Ginger,” Ben says. “Tell you what, there was some stiff competition this year. On the one hand, Oli’s a giant prat, but on the other, Ed’s a major buzzkill.”  
  
Harry meets Louis’s eyes and they crack up, saluting each other and saying “Major Buzzkill.”  
  
Ben shoots them a confused look, but continues, “In the end, the committee had to go with their guts, and so the award goes to – Ed Sheeran!”  
  
Ed rolls his eyes and reluctantly gets up to accept the same award he’s gotten for the last five years.  
  
“Speech, speech,” Harry yells.  
  
“Uh,” Ed says into the mic. “I’d like to thank Corporate, and employment equality law, and Ben for ignoring the rules, the law, and common sense.”  
  
Ben makes a face, but he gets back to the mic as soon as Ed leaves. “Next up, we have Most Prattish Ginger – ”

* 

After Jade’s won the Bluest Hair Award, and Jesy’s won Sneakiest Salesperson, and Perrie’s won the Bubbliest Blonde Award, and Harry’s stolen drinks from everyone around him, Ben announces that the next award is for the Sunshiniest Smile.  
  
“This goes to the person in the office with the best, most infectious smile,” he says.  
  
“Oh,” Harry says, sitting up and nudging Louis. “If you don’t win this, I’ll stage a protest. I’ll start heckling.”  
  
Louis giggles, going to fidget with his fringe and then just touching his forehead. Harry thinks he looks flattered and a bit bashful, which is very cute.  
  
“Louis Tomlinson!” Ben says, and Louis flushes and stands up. Harry whoops loudly and gives him a standing ovation.  
  
“Sit down, Curly, for God’s sake,” Louis says into the mic with a laugh. Harry does. “Um, I s’pose I’d like to thank me mum for me genetics, and I’d like to thank Harold for giving me somethin' to smile about.”  
  
Everyone coos and Louis flashes a cheesy grin, and Harry is so, so _warm_. He feels sparkles spreading from the centre of his back to his fingertips. Louis comes back to their table and Harry tips into his side.  
  
“Nobody more deserving,” Harry says seriously.  
  
“Thank you, darling,” Louis says, and Harry buries his flushed face in Louis’s arm.

 *

“Next up we have the Hottest In The Office Award,” Ben says, and Harry hears groans. Harry agrees. Every year this goes to one of the girls, and it’s always at least a little bit gross. “And the winner is… Zayn Malik! Get that beautiful face up here!”  
  
Harry spins around to look at Zayn, who looks stunned. There’s only a smattering of applause, as if everyone else is surprised too, and then Zayn gets up. He takes his award and goes back to his seat as fast as he can. He looks vaguely horrified, it’s very awkward.  
  
“Well, we’ve found out something new and interesting tonight,” Louis says with a laugh. “I think Ben has a tiny crush on Zayn. A very heterosexual crush, I’m sure.”  
  
As the night’s gone on, as Harry’s gotten drunker, he can tell he’s paying less and less attention to Ben’s skits and weirdly not as insulting as usual awards, and instead he’s watching Louis. But Louis is just. He’s just. He’s fascinating.  
  
“Yes?” Louis says. He’s watching Harry too, with one of his sunshine smiles. “Are you giving me that intense stare for a reason, pet?”  
  
“You’re just,” Harry says. He blinks, slowly; he thinks he’d forgotten to do that, maybe, because his eyes kind of burn. “Good. To, like. Sit and admire.”  
  
Louis giggles. He’s pretty drunk too, now, Harry thinks. Maybe. “Thanks, love,” he says. “’m glad you’re admiring me.”  
  
Harry smiles. “Always, Lou,” he says. He means it.

*

“And now, the award you’ve all been waiting for,” Ben says.  
  
Oh no. That’s the way Ben announces Harry’s award every year. He says it’s funny because they’re all waiting for Harry to get married. Harry downs the rest of his drink and prepares himself.  
  
“This is the most obvious award of the night,” Ben’s saying. “Nobody else but this person could win this particular award.”  
  
Harry rolls his eyes. For fuck’s sake Ben, get on with it.  
  
“And so the award for Deepest Dimples in the office goes to our very own Mr Harry Styles!” Ben booms into the mic.  
  
Harry’s jaw drops. He knows he’s already been swaying quite a bit in his chair but he feels like he could fall off it. He’s simply stunned.  
  
Louis nudges him. “Go on, Curly, get your award.”  
  
Harry stumbles to his feet and over to Ben. He takes the award, and then he takes the mic, mumbling about wanting to make a speech. Ben’s surprised by that; Harry doesn’t think many people have given speeches. Most people just begrudgingly take their awards and hurry back to their seats. But Harry is overwhelmed, and he needs to share it.  
  
“I can’t thank you all enough for this award,” Harry says into the mic, then recoils at how loud his voice is. “I’m so, so happy to be getting this award. I’d like to thank my mum and dad, because without them I wouldn’t have dimples. And I would like to thank all of you for noticing them.” He beams to show them off, and then he yells, “Woo!!!” because he doesn’t think he’s celebrating enough.  
  
“You should thank Louis, he’s the one who noticed,” Ben says as he takes the mic back. “It was his suggestion.”  
  
Harry feels like his heart is trying to fly out of his chest. Louis _what_? He _what_?  
  
Harry almost trips over his own feet trying to get back to his table, but he barely notices. He’s high off the euphoria of not getting the same mortifying award, and knowing that it’s because of Louis, and the many, many drinks he’s had tonight.  
  
He flies into Louis’s arms, still whooping, and Harry’s just full of so much happiness that a mere hug doesn’t do it justice, no matter how good Louis’s hugs are. He presses his mouth to Louis’s so quickly it barely happens, but it’s enough, enough to share all the joy and love he’s feeling.  
  
When Harry pulls back, though, all he sees is shock on Louis’s face. Harry bites his lip, worried he’s done something wrong, but he can’t think of what that might be. He loves Louis, he wanted to kiss Louis, what’s wrong about that?  
  
Then Louis smiles and all Harry feels is happiness once again.  
  
“Congrats,” Louis says. “Proud of you.”  
  
Harry grins. “Thank you,” he says, and he hopes Louis knows he’s thanking him for more than that. He’s thanking him for _everything_.

*

Ben’s doing a one-man skit impersonating different people in the office. It’s mostly insulting, but Harry can’t help laughing when he mimics Oli’s perpetual sucked-lemon scowl.  
  
Harry thinks the night might be winding down. He’s very drunk, so he’s not sure, but he thinks there’s only a few awards left. Maybe only one. Maybe only Top Salesman, which goes to Liam every year and is always an anti-climatic ending to the evening.  
  
Harry doesn’t want an ending. He doesn’t want to go home.  
  
“Let’s get a snatchi,” Harry says. He frowns. That’s not right. Louis looks as confused as Harry feels. “A snacky? A tacky?”

Louis giggles. It’s very cute. “Are you trying to say taxi again?”  
  
“What was I saying?” Harry asks. He doesn’t even know.  
  
“Snatchi,” Louis says, bursting into more giggles.  
  
“Let’s get one of them,” Harry says. “Then we can keep drinking and we don’t have to worry ‘bout getting lifts home with people.”  
  
“Okay,” Louis says. “I think the Spheres are almost over, though.”  
  
Harry frowns. This feels like bad news. “Does that mean we have to go home?”  
  
“No, we can stay, like you said,” Louis says. He doesn’t seem drunk enough, Harry thinks.  
  
“You’re not drunk enough,” Harry tells him. He pats Louis’s face. “Get another drink.”  
  
Louis laughs, and he says okay and gets up and stumbles to the bar. Harry watches him go, a happy smile on his face. Louis’s the best. Harry loves him so much. Doesn’t want to be anywhere without him. 

 

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hands up if you caught the bob's burgers reference ;)


	2. Dive

**2015 - 2016.**

_I could fall, or I could fly, here in your aeroplane  
_ _I could live, I could die, hanging on the words you say  
_ _I've been known to give my all, and lie awake, every day  
_ _don’t know how much I can take_

 

So Harry kissed Louis. Louis is totally not obsessing over it. Just like he hasn’t been in love with Harry for three years.  
  
Harry was so drunk. It’d be stupid of Louis to think that it meant anything.  
  
Still, he can’t help feeling both excited and nervous as he drives into work on Monday. He keeps telling himself nothing’s going to change, but he’s also spent the entire weekend fantasising about Harry finally realising he has feelings for Louis too, and dumping that wanker Xavier, and everything falling into place.  
  
When he gets into the office, Harry’s already behind the reception desk, like usual. He gives Louis his usual beaming smile. Louis smiles back, although his stomach is sinking, already expecting the worst, and heads to his desk to drop off his bag. He can feel Harry’s eyes on him, and he fiddles around with his things on his desk for a minute before breathing deeply and making his way over to Harry.  
  
“Hi there,” Louis says.  
  
“Hey,” Harry says back, with a big smile and a deep dimple. That dimple will honestly be the death of Louis today. He’s not sure if he’s imagining it but Harry seems to look even better than usual; his curls are more pronounced and his eyes are brighter. He’s wearing a flower-patterned button-up, it’s very nice. His top three buttons are undone, like usual, which gives Louis a devastating peek at his chest, like usual.  
  
“How’d you go on Saturday then? You had a pretty big night Friday,” Louis says, and Harry flushes prettily.  
  
“It was rough,” he says. “I haven’t been that hungover in a long time. Lucky I had Xavier to dote on me.”  
  
Louis feels like he blacks out for a second. All of his stupid fantasies vanish in a cloud of smoke. He’s got no chance and he never will.  
  
“I’m not surprised,” he manages. He’s quite proud of himself for managing a teasing smirk as well. Harry might not even suspect that his heart is breaking for the seven hundredth time.  
  
“I wanted to thank you actually,” Harry says, his blush deepening. “And apologise. I know I was a mess Friday, but you took care of me.”  
  
“Well,” Louis says. “What are friends for?” He mostly says it to twist the knife deeper into himself, honestly, like some kind of masochist.  
  
At least by saying it himself, he took the chance away from Harry. Louis doesn’t want to be one of those douches who whines about the “friend zone”, honestly being friends with Harry is one of the best aspects of Louis’s life. He would never complain about it. But sometimes – at least, at times like this, when Louis’s stupidly gotten his hopes up and they’ve just been dashed to pieces – sometimes having Harry confirm that that’s all they are really stings.  
  
Harry gives him an odd smile. There’s something kind of wistful in it. Maybe Louis’s imagining it. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Harry says.  
  
“Be slowly driven to insanity through sheer boredom and/or spontaneously combust with annoyance at Ben,” Louis suggests, and Harry giggles. He has the cutest fucking giggle in the world, it always makes Louis smile.

 

***

 

Ben’s birthday is the 13th of October, almost two weeks after the Spheres. He always makes such a big deal out of it and he expects everyone else to as well, it’s both exhausting and annoying. Louis usually has no desire to shower Ben in birthday glory, but especially not this year. James, one of Louis’s favourite people in the office, is waiting to hear if he’s got testicular cancer.  
  
He’s supposed to hear back today. Nobody’s told Ben or Liam, so they’re mindlessly celebrating Ben’s birthday like they usually would, but everyone else is feeling pretty morose. Ben’s getting progressively more upset that nobody seems to care about him.  
  
He decides that they should do the cake before lunch, probably just so he can get some attention. When James’s phone rings halfway through the birthday song, and James answers it, Ben’s really pissed off.  
  
“Excuse me, James, but that’s just rude,” he says. “Respect the birthday, please.”  
  
“I’ll call you back,” James says into his phone, and hangs up.  
  
“Who was it?” Jade asks.  
  
“Just my wife,” James says. “Just checking if I’d heard. Like I wouldn’t tell her right away.”  
  
“Enough,” says Ben. “Back to the cake, please.”  
  
“Oh, no one cares about your birthday!” Jesy cries. “James is waiting to hear if he has _cancer_.”  
  
Ben looks hurt, and then stunned. “Oh,” he says. “What kind of cancer?”  
  
“Testicular,” James says.  
  
Ben makes a noise that’s close to laugh. “Ball cancer?”  
  
“It’s not _funny_ ,” Leigh Anne says.  
  
“No, of course not,” says Ben, clearly struggling to keep a straight face.  
  
“Ben!” Leigh Anne says, sounding scandalised.  
  
Louis feels the same way. Cancer is not a joke. And this is especially horrible, because Louis's pretty sure Ben and James used to be quite good friends. Before Ben was promoted and before James lost all patience with him. Louis expected him to be more sensitive. That was probably naive.  
  
“He might not even have it,” Ben says, then, a touch more sympathetically, “You probably don’t have it, James.”  
  
“It’s still scary,” James says. Everyone else agrees.  
  
Ben looks around at all of their unimpressed faces. “Right,” he says. “I hope you all don’t have any work planned this afternoon, because I am taking you all out. We need to cheer James up.”  
  
“This wouldn’t have anything to do with your birthday, would it,” Jesy asks suspiciously.  
  
“No, _it doesn’t have anything to do with my birthday_ ,” Ben says in a mocking voice. “Just, be ready to go by one.”

* 

Ben takes them to an ice skating rink. It’s clearly for his birthday, first of all. Ben loves ice skating, and there’s a banner above the rink that says 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN!!!'  
  
“So insensitive,” Jesy mutters.  
  
Louis hangs back on the seats with James, as well as Harry, Jesy, and the girls from Accounting. It doesn’t feel right to have fun when James is waiting on such scary news.  
  
“It’s alright if you want to skate,” James says, for the millionth time.  
  
“Hey,” says Harry. “We’re here with you, okay. You’re more important.”  
  
James’s phone rings, startling them all. He looks at the screen. “Oh, fuck,” he says. “It’s my doctor.”  
  
“Answer it,” Louis says, anxious and antsy. According to what James said before, apparently his doctor will tell him over the phone if the test results are negative, but will want to tell him in person if there's any problems.  
  
“You'll be okay,” Harry says, his hand on James’s shoulder.  
  
James takes a deep breath, and then he answers the phone. Louis, Harry, Jesy, Jade and Leigh Anne listen to his side of the conversation, holding their breaths. And then James smiles, and he’s pretty sure they all exhale at once.  
  
“I don’t have cancer,” James says when he hangs up. “I’m okay.”  
  
Louis throws his arms around James, feeling like he can breathe again. The others follow suit, and it turns into a big group hug, which attracts Ben’s attention.  
  
“What is it?” he asks, skating up behind them. “What happened?”  
  
“It was negative,” James says.  
  
“Oh, fucking hell,” Ben cries. “That’s just - that is the worst! And today of all days! Oh, God, why do the good always die young?”  
  
“Um,” Harry says, while Louis just blinks at Ben. “The test was negative, Ben. That means he doesn’t have cancer.”  
  
Ben looks at them, confused, and Harry explains how the medical world works, because apparently Ben’s gone thirty-seven years without understanding test results. Meanwhile, James smiles and says he’s going to go and call Julia, and they should skate.  
  
Eventually Ben leaves – Louis thinks he’s still a bit confused – and Louis asks Harry if he wants to go out onto the ice.  
  
“’M not very good at skating,” Harry says, bashful, and Louis wants to kiss him.  
  
“That’s okay,” Louis says. “I can help.”  
  
And, well – he wasn’t kidding. Harry’s literally like Bambi on ice, he’s all legs, and he keeps falling down and bringing Louis down with him. It takes a long while, but finally Louis gets him to the point where he can skate without falling if he’s holding onto Louis.  
  
So that’s what they do for twenty minutes until Ben wants to unwrap his presents from Liam. Skate in slow circles, hand-in-hand. Louis feels light as a feather by the time he glides off the ice.

 

***

 

Louis’s having a very productive morning. He’d bought a new mug, it says ‘Have a lovely day!’ on it, and then when it’s tipped up there’s a middle finger underneath. Louis loves it. The first time Liam sees it, he smiles at the sentiment, and then when Louis raises it to take a sip his face sours.  
  
“That’s very unprofessional,” he says.  
  
Louis rolls his eyes. That’s more or less Liam’s catchphrase.  
  
He spends the next hour taking sips out of his mug every time Liam looks at him, long after he’s run out of tea. Liam gets very annoyed.  
  
And then, Emma from Diversity Training comes in, and surprisingly, it’s not because of Ben. Apparently there was an incident at Corporate; one of the senior managers sexually harassed a receptionist.  
  
When they’re all in the conference room, and after Emma’s given her spiel, she asks if anyone has anything to add. Harry raises his hand.  
  
“Um, I just wanted to say,” he says. “My mum’s coming to visit, so she’ll be coming in to get me for lunch today. I’d just like to, you know. Make sure that nobody says anything gross.”  
  
Louis immediately knows what he’s talking about. The days they have diversity training always end up being the days that Ben acts especially bad. And when he’s called out, he gets even worse. Louis can pretty much predict that today he’ll be “jokingly” propositioning all the women in the office. How he hasn't been fired is honestly beyond Louis.  
  
“I’m sure they won’t,” Emma says, which just goes to show that she has too much faith in this office. Louis has no idea why. “In fact, that’s a good rule of thumb. You should treat every day as if Harry’s mum’s come to visit.”  
  
Bless her. That’s never going to happen.  
  
Then Louis realises. Harry’s mum’s going to be in the office. Louis’s going to meet Harry’s mum. Fuck. 

*

Louis spends the rest of the morning full of nervous excitement. He keeps jumping out of his seat to bother Harry with meaningless chatter, keeps bouncing his legs at his desk and annoying Liam. The upside is that he blocks out Ben, his ignorant lecture on sexism and his inappropriate comments quite effectively. The downside is that he can’t stop thinking about the impression he’s going to make on Harry’s mum.  
  
He goes to make himself a cup of tea to settle himself down, and makes Harry one too. He just does that without thinking now.  
  
Harry always has the same beaming smile every time. Like he doesn’t expect it. Which is silly; he makes Louis tea just as often. It’s sort of their thing, it shouldn’t be a surprise.  
  
“Thanks, Lou,” he says, taking his mug gratefully.  
  
“No worries, love,” Louis says, then leans his elbows against the desk. “How’s everything, then?”  
  
Harry smiles like he’s trying not to laugh. “Since you asked me ten minutes ago? Fine.”  
  
“Well, you never know what might’ve changed,” Louis says, knowing he sounds defensive.  
  
“Oh,” Harry says, lighting up. “I did get a text from my mum. She’s just left, so she should be about forty minutes away.”  
  
Louis smiles. “You look so happy.”  
  
Harry presses his hands to his cheeks, as if he’s trying to hold his smile. “I am,” he says. “I haven’t had a chance to see my mum in ages, I miss her loads. I can’t wait to see her.”  
  
“Neither can I,” Louis says, and watches Harry’s eyebrows quirk up. “I have a lot of questions for her.”  
  
Harry lets out a surprised giggle. “Really? Like what?”  
  
“Well, first of all,” Louis says. “At what age did Harry start showing his passion for reception work and low-level software companies?”  
  
Harry giggles some more. It’s so cute; Louis wants to spend the rest of his life making Harry laugh like that.  
  
“How did his hair get so curly? What’s the most embarrassing baby Harry story she can think of? Why does he look so much like a frog?”  
  
Harry’s all-out laughing now. “You can’t ask my mum why I look like a frog,” he gasps. “She’s going to think you’re insinuating things.”  
  
Louis grins. “Maybe not that one, then.”

 *

Louis’s at his desk when Harry’s mum arrives. She’s young and beautiful; Louis would know her immediately, even if he hadn’t seen her photo on Harry’s desk and on his Facebook. She looks a lot like Harry.  
  
Harry’s excited to see her. He shows her the reception area in great detail, which is pretty cute. Louis’s about to get up and say hi when the door opens again and Xavier walks in.  
  
“Hey Anne,” he says.  
  
“Xav!” Anne cries, going and giving him a hug. “So good to see you.”  
  
“You too,” Xavier says warmly.  
  
Louis busies himself with his computer. It’s another slap in the face. Xavier is a part of Harry’s family in a way Louis never can be, why does he always forget that?  
  
“Are we leaving?” Xavier asks.  
  
“I just have to do a few things,” Harry says. “I’ll be like fifteen minutes.”  
  
“Alright,” Xavier says. “I’ll wait for you downstairs. Anne, you good here or d’you wanna come with me?”  
  
“Hmm, I might stay here love,” she says. “I’d like to see Harry at work.”  
  
Xavier laughs. “Have fun,” he says. “See you in a bit.” Then he’s gone.  
  
Louis genuinely feels like he can breathe again.  
  
“What do you have to do?” Anne asks.  
  
“Not much,” Harry says. “Just need to give Ben some messages. I actually wanted to introduce you around the office before we left.”  
  
“Oh!” says Anne, sounding delighted. “That would be lovely! Will I get to meet Louis? Where is he?”  
  
“Mum,” Harry hisses. “He’s there, just, shh. Be cool.”  
  
Louis turns his face to hide his smile. She knows who he is. He feels lighter, somehow, wondering what Harry’s said about him.  
  
“I am cool,” he hears Harry’s mum say. “Oh, he’s cute, isn’t he?”  
  
“You can only see the back of his head,” Harry says.  
  
Louis has sometimes wondered if Harry knows that he can hear virtually every conversation he has at his desk. This, right now, he thinks, proves that he doesn’t.  
  
Harry starts with Ben, taking in his messages and his mum. They leave the door open, so Louis can hear that too, and Ben is actually quite cordial. Surprisingly so. Then they come outside, and Louis’s desk is right outside Ben’s office, so it only makes sense they come to him first.  
  
“Hey Lou,” Harry says. “Wanna meet my mum?”  
  
Louis turns around, smiling up at Harry and his mum. “Love to,” he says. “Hi, Mrs Twist. Pleasure to finally meet you.” He’s pleased he knows her actual last name. Facebook’s good for some things.  
  
“Oh, call me Anne, love,” she says. “And likewise. I’ve heard so much about you.”  
  
“Really?” Louis says, partially teasing Harry who’s looking a bit embarrassed. Embarrassed Harry is one of Louis's favourite things. “Good things, I hope?”  
  
“Of course,” Anne laughs. “The way I hear it, you’re the most interesting person in all of Manchester.”  
  
Louis laughs as well. “That’s probably not wrong,” he jokes. “Awfully dull place, this.”  
  
“I’ve heard you’re just that bright,” Anne says with a wink, and Harry groans.  
  
Louis laughs again. He’s loving this. “See, I wanted to ask you a load of embarrassing questions about Harry’s childhood, but I think you’ve already embarrassed him.”  
  
“It’s not hard to do,” Anne says. “He’s a very embarrassing person.”  
  
“Heyyyy,” Harry pouts. He’s too cute.  
  
“I’m only teasing, my love,” Anne says. She's so lovely and warm. So like Harry.  
  
They end up chatting for a few more minutes, and then they have to move on if Harry wants to introduce her to everyone and have time for lunch.  
  
“It was lovely to meet you Louis,” Anne says. “I hope we can chat again soon.”  
  
“So do I,” says Louis. “Enjoy your lunch.”  
  
He feels so validated as they walk away. At least he’s important enough to Harry that his mum knew who he was before meeting him. That’s something. That’s enough.

 

***

 

Zayn’s being evaluated by Ben. Liam keeps staring at Ben’s office and sighing wistfully. Louis has no idea what that’s about. He’s actually starting to wonder if Liam has a crush on Zayn, as wild as that idea is, when Liam lets out a particularly loud sigh.  
  
“Ben hasn’t evaluated me in over a year,” he says. Louis holds back a snort. Of course.  
  
“Maybe he thinks you do such a good job that there’s no need for it,” Louis suggests.  
  
“Usually I’d think so,” Liam says. “But he’s evaluating the temp, and he loves the temp. There has to be another explanation.”  
  
Louis’s pretty sure it’s because the temp agency is requiring an evaluation, but he’s not about to say that.  
  
“You’re right,” he says. “Something else is going on here. Maybe Zayn’s edging you out as Ben’s number two.”  
  
“Impossible,” Liam says. “Ben and I are like Batman and Robin. There’s no room for Zayn in that equation.”  
  
Louis tries not to laugh. “That’s the worst analogy you could’ve picked,” he says. “You realise there were like seven Robins, right? You could’ve picked a superhero who didn’t pick up protégés like they were bread and milk.”  
  
Liam groans. “Point taken,” he says, very reluctantly. He hates to agree with anything Louis says, which makes Louis even more smug when he does. “We’re like Magneto and Professor X, then.”  
  
That analogy works even less, somehow, and Louis can’t hold in his laughter any longer. “Sure you are,” he says. “And I guess that makes Zayn Mystique.”  
  
“No,” Liam says, frowning. “He’s… Wolverine.” He sighs like he knows it doesn’t make any sense. “Stop distracting me! My point is, I’m Ben’s right-hand man. Not Zayn. He can’t just waltz in here and charm Ben with his good looks and suddenly get evaluations.”  
  
Louis’s enjoying taunting Liam too much to pick apart that sentence, so he focuses on the best part. “His good looks, eh? I _thought_ you might have a bit of a crush.”  
  
Liam goes red and Louis cackles.  
  
“I do not!” Liam protests. “I’m straight, it was just – anyone with eyes can see – and Ben’s always saying – I’m not _gay_ , Louis!”  
  
Louis makes a face. Baiting Liam loses its fun when he starts getting all gay panicky. “I was joking, Liam. Lighten up.”  
  
“Right,” Liam says stiffly, clearly rankled. “I’m sorry if it’s hard to lighten up when my _career_ is in _jeopardy_.”  
  
Louis rolls his eyes and looks over at reception, where Harry is giving him an exasperated look. Louis turns to his computer, opening up his chat with Harry.  
  
**Louist91** tell me you heard at least some of that.  
**harrystyles** I heard all of it. I’m only five feet away and Liam’s quite loud when he’s agitated.  
**harrystyles** I laughed at the batman and robin bit.  
**Louist91** he’s a fucking nightmare.  
**Louist91** I cant believe how fragile his heterosexuality is.  
**harrystyles** hahahah. Well you know straight boys.  
**Louist91** yeah. So I’m thinking. I want to mess with him. I’m going to try to get zayn in on it.  
**harrystyles** lol sounds good. Lemme know how I can help .xx  
**Louist91** :) xx  
  
The question is, should he prey on Liam’s career fears or his sexuality fears? Both are unfounded and annoying, so Louis kind of feels justified in preying on both.  
  
He starts out by emailing Zayn, filling him in and asking if he’s willing to help.  
  
Zayn replies with a _Yep_ and a thumbs up emoji, and Louis looks over at Ben’s office to see him on his phone, pretty much ignoring Ben. Alright. Time for a plan. 

*

The plan starts with Zayn flirting with Liam every chance he gets. He’s brilliant; it’s subtle, but it’s potent, mostly because he’s fucking beautiful. When he looks at Liam from under his eyelashes, Louis thinks even he’d have a hard time saying no, and he’s pretty firmly not interested.  
  
Liam gets really flustered by it. It’s clear he doesn’t know how to act, or why this is happening. He probably wants to blame Louis, but Louis’s never really been that close with Zayn, so it probably doesn’t make sense to Liam.  
  
He doesn’t know what to do about Liam’s job insecurities, and then he’s got it. Ben’s always trying to get Louis to hang out with him, and Louis’s always brushing him off, because he’d rather do literally anything else.  
  
Not today. Today he goes into Ben’s office and chats with him for close to an hour. They throw a rubber band ball back and forth while talking about The Walking Dead, and then Louis invites Ben out to lunch, which Ben is thrilled to accept.  
  
Lunch is pretty terrible. There’s a reason Louis doesn’t spend much time with Ben; he is honestly insufferable. He makes lewd comments about the girl behind the counter at the café, who's easily half his age, and then more comments about a woman sitting near them. He makes a disgusted sound when an overweight young woman dares to come into the café and order a cup of tea, and he’s very pointedly not looking at a gay couple in the corner.  
  
Louis honestly spends the entire lunch trying not to throttle him. Ben spends it trying to become his best friend.  
  
But it’s all worth it to see the unease on Liam’s face when they get back to the office. Louis goes right into Ben’s office, because he’d promised he’d watch the short films Ben made recently.  
  
They’re terrible, like if someone gave 4chan a camera, but Louis pretends they’re amazing. Ben’s thrilled, and he loudly offers Louis the starring role in his next film.  
  
Louis loves acting, but Jesus. _No_.  
  
Luckily, Liam bursts into Ben’s office then. “What is going on?” he demands. “You told me I could star in your films! Is Louis taking over from me?”  
  
“I have plenty of roles to go around,” Ben says. “You can’t star in all of them.”  
  
“Yes I can,” Liam insists. Why he’d want to star in films like the one Louis just watched – about a guy, played by Ben, who is physically unable to masturbate – is beyond Louis.  
  
Louis quietly leaves the office while they’re arguing. He shoots Harry a thumbs up, and Harry smiles. 

*

Louis takes pity on Liam at the end of the day.  
  
“You know I don’t want to be Ben’s number two, yeah?” he says.  
  
“Oh,” Liam says. “Wait, what?”  
  
“He’s all yours,” Louis says, patting Liam on the arm. Liam looks dumbfounded, and Louis walks out of the office.

 

***

 

Louis’s sort of seeing Greg, the guy from the Leeds office. They’re not really dating – they went on a couple of dates, and then they slept together, and then Greg left, and now they hook up whenever he’s around. It’s definitely not serious, and it’s a bit of a surprise when Harry patches him through.  
  
“Hey, I didn’t know you had this number,” Louis says.  
  
“I didn’t,” Greg says. “I looked it up because you weren’t answering your mobile.”  
  
Louis frowns and fishes his phone out of his pocket. It’s off. “It’s dead,” he says. “I gotta charge it. Phew, I was starting to worry about you stalking me.”  
  
“You know we work for the same company, right? It’s not a stretch for me to know the number,” Greg says, teasing, and Louis laughs. “Anyway, I was ringing because I’m gonna be in the area today. I wondered if you’d want to get lunch?”  
  
“In the area… because you’re stalking me,” Louis says, and Greg laughs. “Yeah, sure, sounds good. I usually take lunch at twelve, that okay?”  
  
“You mean, like normal people? Yeah, I think that works,” Greg says. It’s Louis’s favourite thing about him, the way he’s not afraid of banter.  
  
When he hangs up, a smile on his face, Harry says, “Hey, you know you can just give him your extension.”  
  
Louis frowns. That’s a sort of odd thing to say. “Yeah,” he says. “I’ll do that.”

 

***

 

Liam’s into boxing, and he’s apparently moved up a weight class. He won’t shut up about it. There’s few things Louis hates more than gym junkies who can’t stop bragging, but it’s a thousand times worse when Liam Payne does it.  
  
(Privately, Louis wonders when he sleeps. Between work, his fitness schedule, and his volunteering with fire and rescue services, how does he have time for a social life? Oh, right.)  
  
He keeps going on about how he could beat anyone in the office, about how he’s been boxing since he was a kid. Louis can’t take it much longer.  
  
Today’s also one of the few days Ben has to actually do work. It’s mostly just looking over and signing expense reports and time cards, but even that’s too much for Ben. He’s always looking for ways to procrastinate on days like this. That’s how Louis gets the idea.  
  
“So,” he says to Harry. “What would I have to give you to help me goad Ben into physically fighting Liam?”  
  
Harry chokes on a laugh. “I mean, normally I’d say nothing,” he says. “But if you’re offering… I saw that huge chunk of cake you brought in.”  
  
“Hey, that’s leftover from my nan’s birthday,” Louis protests. “It’s amazing.”  
  
Harry raises his eyebrows. “You’re doing nothing to stop me from wanting it,” he points out, then smiles. “But I’ll do it for free.”  
  
Louis smiles, and decides to think about giving Harry half of the cake anyway. It’s really good, though, so he doesn’t want to make any promises.  
  
“Thanks, Curly,” he says. “So here’s what I’m thinking…”

* 

Harry waits until Ben’s within earshot, and then he asks Liam if he could walk him to his car at the end of the day, since he had to park down the street and they’re in quite a rough area. “I don’t want to get mugged, and since you’re the toughest in the office…”  
  
Liam’s about to agree, and Ben scoffs.  
  
“Toughest in the office! He wishes.”  
  
“I’ve been boxing for ten years,” Liam says, turning a disgruntled look onto Ben.  
  
“So what? A mugger would still kick your arse,” Ben says. “In fact, I bet I would still kick your arse. I’m definitely tougher than you.”  
  
Louis wants to laugh, but he holds it in. Oh please Liam, please take him on.  
  
“Well too bad we can’t fight in the office, or I’d prove it,” Liam says, clearly relieved he’s found a way out of actually fighting his boss.  
  
“What about your gym?” Louis suggests. “It’s nearby, isn’t it?”  
  
“Yes…” Liam says hesitantly.  
  
“Then it’s settled,” says Ben. “Everyone gets an extra half an hour for lunch to come down to Liam’s gym and watch me beat him.”  
  
“That’s not going to happen,” Liam insists. “I’m a professional.”  
  
Louis’s not sure if he means professional boxer or at his job, but it doesn’t matter. Ben steamrolls him into it.

*

Once they get down to the gym – Louis paraphrasing the lyrics to the rumble from West Side Story and clicking his fingers at a laughing Harry the entire way – Liam’s trainer wants to spend a good fifteen minutes going over the rules with Ben and Liam.  
  
Louis gets bored. He starts poking Harry.  
  
“Stop that,” Harry says, and pokes him back. It tickles, and Louis twists, grabbing at Harry’s arms.  
  
“You stop it,” Louis says. Harry grabs Louis’s arms back, and they struggle for a minute until Louis pulls Harry down onto the floor. They land on one of the foam mats, and struggle some more, Louis not really thinking about anything but getting the upper hand, and then suddenly he’s straddling Harry and pinning his hands to the mat.  
  
“Uh,” Louis says. Harry’s staring at him, wide-eyed and a bit flushed. It all turns so instantly sexual in Louis’s brain, holding Harry down like this, and he stops thinking for a second.  
  
“’Kay, you win,” Harry says after a minute, his voice strained. Louis is still frozen. “Get up.” He sounds kind of frantic, and Louis rolls off him and shakily climbs to his feet.  
  
He goes to say he’s sorry, but Harry’s already stood up and moved away. He’s watching Liam and Ben intently, and Louis doesn’t know what to do with the way he’s suddenly become untouchable.  
  
Louis watches the stupid fight, feeling like he can’t even say anything to Harry. There’s something incredibly lonely about that. It sucks all the fun out of Ben and Liam’s terrible trash-talking and their embarrassing fighting. Ben throws off his gloves and starts slapping Liam, and then he pulls on his hair and holds him down and threatens to spit on him until Liam’s trainer puts an end to the whole thing. And Louis can’t enjoy it, because Harry won’t even look at him.  
  
Things get progressively more awkward. Harry carpools back to the office in Ed’s car, which is then full, so Louis can’t join. He’s stuck in Jesy’s car with an empty space next to him where Harry was. And then, back in the office, Harry completely ignores him. Louis doesn’t know what to do.

*

Louis feels neglected and miserable. Harry’s ignoring him, his eyes focused on his computer screen, and Ben won’t stop crowing about being the toughest in the office.  
  
Louis opens up Outlook and starts an email to Harry.  
  
‘ _Hey_ ,’ he types. ‘ _I don’t know what happened today. I’m sorry if that was weird_.’  
  
Then he looks at it and hits backspace. No. He starts again.  
  
‘ _Hey. Was that weird at the gym? I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable_.’  
  
No. It feels awkward and impersonal writing an email, and Louis can’t help sounding way more formal than he would normally. He’s making it more awkward than it needs to be. He’s probably blowing this way out of proportion; yeah, Harry’s being weird, but it was a weird situation. Louis just needs to find a peace offering.  
  
He closes the draft email and frowns at his inbox, trying to think. Then he gets up, goes to the kitchen and gets his giant slice of cake out of the fridge. He walks back out and puts the plate on Harry’s desk.  
  
“I’m sorry?” Louis says.  
  
Harry looks up, looks at the cake, back at Louis, and slowly, he smiles. “Is that for me?”  
  
“Of course,” Louis says. “It’s really good, I promise.”  
  
Harry takes the plate and the fork, and takes a bite. He closes his eyes and smiles happily, which makes Louis smile. “It really is,” Harry says after he swallows, opening his eyes and still smiling. “Thank you. Do you want some?”  
  
And just like that, the weirdness disappears. They’re okay.

* 

Right before five, when Ben still has a load of things to sign off on and people are starting to get antsy, he calls Liam into his office. When Liam comes out, he’s holding his head high. He looks like he’s on the verge of tears, and he’s holding a stack of the forms Ben’s supposed to be working on.  
  
“Has he signed the forms yet?” Harry asks.  
  
“No need,” Liam says. “He’s authorised me to sign them.”  
  
“He can’t do that,” Harry says.  
  
“Yes he can,” Liam says, both haughty and proud all at once. “I’m now the official Assistant Manager.”  
  
Louis sits back in his chair, stunned. What the fuck. He shares a horrified look with Harry, and then he gets up and into Ben’s office, shutting the door behind him.  
  
“We need to talk,” he says. “What have you done? You gave Liam legitimate power?”  
  
Ben waves a dismissive hand. “His only power is to sign things in place of me.”  
  
That’s fucking enough for it to go to his head, but Louis doesn’t say that. “ _Why_?”  
  
“Because I bested him, Louis,” Ben says. “At his own game.” Louis doesn’t point out that he really, really didn’t, mostly because Liam’s certainly been acting like he did. “He’s been all mopey, and he’s not treating me like he should.”  
  
“He’d have gotten over it,” Louis says. Ben sighs.  
  
“Oh, Louis,” he says. “One day I hope you’ll be in my position, then you’ll understand. As a manager, you don’t want people to fear you _or_ to love you. You want people to be afraid of how much they love you. Liam’s always done either or, but now he’ll do both.”  
  
Louis stares at him. There’s honestly nothing he can say to that. He turns and walks out.  
  
“Goodnight, Louis,” Liam says half an hour later, when Louis’s getting ready to leave and Liam’s still drowning in paperwork. “I’m looking forward to being your boss.”  
  
Louis shudders. What the fuck.

 

***

 

Louis didn’t ever think he’d end up a salesman. He still doesn’t see this as his actual career; he wouldn’t actually call himself a salesman, even though he knows, logically, that that’s what he is. This is just a job. It’s not something he’s committed to, even if he’s been doing it for five years.  
  
_Five years_. It really freaks Louis out that he’s been here that long. It feels like the time has flown by, but at the same time, he remembers starting here when he was eighteen, and he feels like he was a baby then. It’s hilarious and sad, really, when he looks back on it. He’d wanted a job, because his friends were going to university and he didn’t have the grades for it. He thought maybe he’d work for a bit before figuring out his options. And then he just… never really figured out his options.  
  
When he was younger, he always saw himself in the arts. He liked drama, and music, and writing. Songwriting especially. He always saw himself as an actor or behind the scenes in the music industry. He’s always meant to pursue that, but his insecurities keep getting in the way. He’s never felt like he was extraordinary at any of it – he _loved_ it, yes, but was he good enough to make it? It was easier to just stay in his shitty job and tell himself he’d get to it later, he always had time.  
  
And now he’s twenty-three, and he’s still working his shitty job, and he has no plans for his future. Louis hates it, it makes him feel queasy to think about turning thirty and still being in the exact same place he was at eighteen. And now he feels like his age is against him as well.  
  
It’s funny because he doesn’t think he’s very insecure about anything else. But this, whether he’s actually talented at the things he most loves to do, he’s very unsure about. And he feels like Making It in the entertainment industry happens so randomly; he knows it’s more who you know and how well you market yourself. Louis feels like if he believed in himself a bit more, that he could be the sort of person to market himself very well. He knows he could be good at that. He just doesn’t think he believes in himself enough.  
  
At the end of the day, he thinks it comes down to how good you are, and Louis just doesn’t believe he’s good enough.  
  
So he’s stuck. He’s holding himself back from chasing his dreams, and he can’t climb the ladder at his current job, because he thinks that would mean giving up on his dreams, at least a bit. He’s just not ready to do that. Maybe when he’s thirty and given up all hope.  
  
The most annoying part is that he’s actually good at his job. Although he spends about half his time skiving off, he always meets or even exceeds his sales quotas. Louis’s a people person, which makes him a good salesman, and he’s sure he’d be on Liam’s level if he gave half as much of a shit. If this job was something he cared about, he knows he could excel. But he just doesn’t, and the idea of this becoming more than a job, becoming his career, is so depressing Louis can’t stand to think about it.

 

***

 

Louis’s favourite day at work starts pretty innocuously. Ben’s going out on a really important sales call with Meredith from Corporate, something that never happens. It’s a huge potential sale. So it’s sort of a good start to the day – the office is always more productive when he’s gone – but he leaves Liam in charge, of course, which puts an immediate damper on it.  
  
The first thing Liam does after Ben leaves is collect everyone's mobile phones, which Louis thinks is absolutely ridiculous. He points out that clients might call their mobiles, and Liam scoffs and says that never happens. Right. Then Liam makes a chart with everything he expects the office to get done today and who he expects to do it. Louis’s not surprised to find the longest list of items next to his own name. He’s also not surprised when almost everyone ignores the chart.  
  
Everyone mostly keeps their heads down and gets on with whatever work they’d planned to do today, while occasionally being pestered by Liam, until Harry comes over and drops a huge stack of paper on Louis’s desk.  
  
He leans back against Louis’s desk, looking proud of himself and really hot. Fuck. Louis tears his eyes away and looks at the papers.  
  
“‘Agent Ben Winsome’?” he reads. “What is this?”  
  
“Ben rang and asked me to get out one of his joke books and find him a joke,” Harry says. “That was underneath it.”  
  
Louis flips through the papers. “Is it…”  
  
“Oh yes,” Harry says. “It’s a screenplay. Written by Ben. Starring himself.”  
  
“Holy fuck,” Louis breathes. “Oh, Harry. Well done.”  
  
Harry looks very pleased with himself.  
  
“We all have to read it. That’s it. That’s what we have to do today.”  
  
“I’ll make copies, you let everyone know,” Harry says, picking up the stack again.

* 

“I want to be Beyoncé,” James says. The entire office, minus Liam, is sitting around the table in the conference room, copies of the screenplay in front of everyone.  
  
“Don’t we all,” says Louis. “That’s fine, though.”  
  
“Is there really a character named Beyoncé?” Jade asks, giggling into her hand.  
  
“Yes, and I think she’s in love with Agent Winsome,” Harry snickers.  
  
“We need someone to play the sidekick, uh, Anfernee Downey Jr,” Louis says with a grimace.  
  
“Cool, racial stereotypes,” Leigh Anne says as she reads the casually racist character description. She rolls her eyes. “I’ll do it.”  
  
That’s when Liam, who’d been in the toilet when Louis ushered everyone into the conference room, walks past, seems to figure out that they’re all not actually working, and sticks his head in.  
  
“What is going on in here?” he demands, grabbing the nearest copy of Agent Ben Winsome. “This doesn’t belong to you! You stole Ben’s property!” He glares at Louis, which is unfair, Louis feels.  
  
“Hey Liam,” Louis says. “D’you wanna play Agent Winsome?”  
  
Liam seems to wrestle with his morals, and then he sits down in the last spare seat and opens the script he’s still holding.  
  
“Hey, that was mine,” says Perrie.  
  
“You can share with me,” says Zayn.  
  
“‘We open on a mansion in Beverly Hills,’” Louis reads. “‘Agent Ben Winsome is relaxing with a glass of the most expensive Scotch in the world. His secretary Beyoncé walks in.’“  
  
“Agent Winsome,” James says in a falsetto. “The president called, he wants to invite you to his daughter’s birthday party. Also, you’ve been named the world’s biggest hero, and there’s going to be a ceremony. Taylor Swift and Katy Perry patched up their differences just to play it, and they can’t wait to meet you. Also,” James breathes in, as per the script’s instructions. “I’m in love with you. Just your daily reminder.”  
  
“Oh Beyoncé,” Liam says harshly. “I have no time for love, and even if I did, I’m way out of your league.”  
  
Everyone but Liam bursts into laughter.  
  
“‘A man walks in wearing a mismatched suit and obnoxious sneakers,’” Louis manages to read.  
  
“Oh hello Anfernee,” Liam reads. “Did you bring our latest case files?”  
  
“Oh no, I forgot,” Leigh Anne says lifelessly.  
  
“Anfernee you are useless,” says Liam. “That’s the whole reason you’re here. Go back home and get them.”  
  
“Sigh,” says Leigh Anne.

 *

Throughout the screenplay, Anfernee Downey Jr turns out to be a completely foolish, bumbling character. He’s a suck-up and his interests include boxing and comic books. Louis is starting to get an idea of who he might be based on.  
  
“There was a break-in at the White House,” James as Beyoncé says. “The President’s okay, but a note was left saying that there is an attack planned for your World’s Greatest Hero ceremony.”  
  
“What,” says Liam. “I thought I told you to guard the White House, Anfernee!”  
  
“Whoops,” says Leigh Anne. “I got distracted by a pretty girl.”  
  
“God damn it Anfernee,” Liam says. “You are the most incompetent, laziest and stupidest person I’ve ever had to work with. Not to mention ugly. I don’t know why you bother getting distracted by pretty girls and letting them ruin your work because they’ll never go for you anyway. Why don’t you get that through your thick skull Lima!” Liam pauses. “Wait, Lima? What kind of an insult is – oh.”  
  
Ah, fuck. Louis kind of feels bad for him. Clearly the character had originally been called Liam, and Ben had used find and replace to change it to Anfernee. He must have missed that typo.  
  
Liam throws down his script and stands up. “I don’t want to do this anymore,” he says. “I’m going home.”  
  
“Um, why don’t we take a break,” Louis says. “Get some food?”  
  
Everyone agrees and they start to get up. “I’ll get us food, you talk to him?” Harry suggests quietly.  
  
Louis nods and takes off after Liam. He catches up with him outside the lifts.  
  
“You can’t leave,” Louis says. “You’re our manager for the day.”  
  
“The day’s over,” Liam says. “It’s after five.”  
  
“Still,” Louis says. “C’mon, that was fun, wasn’t it?”  
  
“Yeah, up until I realised the whole thing was just making fun of me,” Liam says. “You all probably figured it out before me too. You were probably laughing at me.”  
  
“We weren’t,” Louis says honestly. “I promise everyone was laughing at Ben. C’mon, come inside and make fun of him with us. It can be like your revenge.”  
  
Liam clearly thinks about it, but then he shakes his head. He looks tired. “I’m just not up for more humiliation today,” he says. “You guys can finish it though. I won’t even tell Ben.”  
  
“We’re almost finished,” Louis says. “It won’t be fun without you.” The thing is that he means it. If he goes back in there without Liam, everyone will feel too guilty to continue. “I swear to God, no one will laugh at you. They’ll just be annoyed with Ben on your behalf.”  
  
“Really?” Liam says.  
  
Louis nods. “If I go back without you they won’t want to finish,” he says. “They’re on your side.”  
  
Liam takes a deep breath. “Okay,” he says.

*

When they go back in, the girls from accounting make a big fuss over Liam and how awful Ben is to treat him so badly. Louis has a feeling Harry orchestrated that. Harry also made them cheese toasties, which is one of the few warm meals it’s possible to make in this office. Louis and Harry eat their toasties together while they watch everyone else act out the screenplay, and Louis can’t help thinking that it’s almost like in a date, in a way. Dinner and a show.  
  
He shakes that thought away as soon as it comes. It really doesn’t count as a date if one of you doesn’t know it. And is engaged.  
  
It’s still Louis’s favourite day at work.

 

***

 

Louis always knows when winter's coming because Harry starts wearing strawberry lip balm. Maybe that's weird, but the scent of it and the shine of Harry's lips just screams winter to Louis, more than the colder weather does. Harry's lips always start get chapped as winter approaches, and he's worn lip balm every winter as long as Louis's known him.  
  
Yeah. It's probably weird that Louis's noticed that.   
  
But he can't help noticing Harry; everything he does is remarkable to Louis, even the most ordinary things. And Louis could fill a book with everything he knows about Harry, all his anecdotes and idiosyncrasies. It all sticks in his brain more than anything else in his life.  
  
Sometimes Louis thinks it's sad that he's so fucking devoted to someone who'll never love him back. But he just can't _help_ it. What's sadder, probably, is that this has been going on for three years - Louis's entire adult life, actually - and he can't see it stopping. For as long as Harry's in Louis's life, Louis will be fascinated by him.

 

***

  
Louis has no idea what he was thinking when he decided to throw a party _at his house_ and invite everyone in the office. To his _house_. Where he _lives._ His roommate and childhood best friend Stan hadn’t believed his stories about Ben and Liam, so Louis had thought the best way to prove they are indeed as ridiculous as he’s claimed was to invite everyone _to his house_.  
  
It’s perhaps the most idiotic idea he’s ever had.  
  
The one upside should be that Harry’s coming, except Harry’s never been to Louis’s place before and he’s pretty anxious about that too.  
  
He spends the whole day swinging between nervous and kicking himself. When he tells Harry he’s regretting it, Harry says he thinks it’ll be fun.  
  
“And besides, it’s not like the whole office is terrible,” Harry says. “You do get along with a huge bunch of us. Plus I think Zayn said something about bringing weed.”  
  
Louis brightens. “Really?”  
  
Harry nods. Okay. That might make it easier to deal with. Maybe he should tell Zayn to come earlier so Louis can be more relaxed once everyone gets there.  
  
There’s just one other thing.  
  
“While I remember,” Louis says. “Just because, you know, numbers wise, I’m trying to figure out how much food and drink I need – did Xavier decide if he’s coming?”  
  
Because Louis had sent out emails to the whole office and warehouse two weeks ago, and Harry had said immediately that he’d be there but Xavier wasn’t set on his plans yet. Two weeks later and apparently Xavier still hasn’t figured it out, or if he has, he hasn’t let Louis know. Louis hates that. It’s like people who click maybe on Facebook events and don’t change it until the day of. Just let people know what you’re doing!  
  
And of course there’s the tiny fact that Louis doesn’t want Xavier there and he only invited him out of politeness and because he figured Harry wouldn’t come if he didn’t. Louis definitely entertained the thought of inviting the whole office and not Xavier. It was a fun thought.  
  
“Actually he’s not,” Harry says. Louis inwardly rejoices. “I was about to tell you. And sorry for not telling you sooner, I know it’s rude. His dad’s coming to visit and we weren’t sure on days until now.”  
  
“That’s okay,” Louis says, smiling at the thought that at least Harry agrees with him. “But you’re definitely coming?”  
  
Harry beams. “Wouldn’t miss it.”  
  
Louis goes back to his desk feeling much lighter than before. Who cares about the weirdos he works with invading his personal space? Harry’s going to be there, _without_ his dickhead boyfriend. Louis couldn’t be happier. 

*

Stan, Calvin and Oli are the only people from Louis’s school group who live in Manchester. The rest are still in Donny. Louis’s known Stan since they were kids, and they befriended Calvin and Oli in Year Eight. The four of them actually made the decision to come out to Manchester together, because Stan and Calvin were going to Manchester University. Louis and Oli decided to tag along, and then ended up getting jobs in the same place. Funnily enough, it was that job that sort of broke their friendship; Louis barely talks to Oli at all now, kinda thinks he’s a prick actually.  
  
He’s not exactly sure why. He thinks maybe it happened when he became closer to Harry. Oli didn’t like not being Louis’s closest work friend, and he was an absolute tosser to Harry as a result. Louis wasn’t impressed and things got worse from there.  
  
But essentially, Louis chose Harry, someone he’d only known for a few months at that point, over one of his oldest friends. Sounds about right.  
  
Stan and Calvin are still close with Oli, and Louis’s still close with Stan and Calvin. Everyone just sort of ignores that Louis and Oli don’t really talk. So Louis’s invited Calvin and Oli tonight, because this party’s as much for Calvin to meet everyone as it is for Stan. And they’ve gotten here first, so Stan’s been talking with them for the last hour. They stop every now and then to be introduced to each person who arrives, but mostly Stan and Calvin are only talking to Oli. That won’t do.  
  
Harry’s not here yet, but Liam’s just arrived. Perfect. Louis drags Stan and Calvin away from Oli and over to Liam.  
  
“Hey! Liam! So glad you could make it,” he says. Liam looks surprised. “This is my roommate Stan, and our friend Calvin. Lads, this is Liam.”  
  
“Hi, mate,” Stan says, and Calvin echoes him.  
  
“Hello,” says Liam, and holds out his hand to shake, like he can’t not. Stan and Calvin look surprised but shake his hand, and Louis suppresses a giggle. Then Liam turns to him, “I thought this was just going to be people from work.”  
  
Louis blinks, and Stan swoops in. “Oh, it is,” he says. “We’re just gate-crashing.”  
  
“Also he lives here,” Louis points out.  
  
“Alright then,” Liam says, and looks around. “So, this is your house? I must say, I’m surprised.”  
  
Louis frowns. “Why?”  
  
“Well, I thought you’d live in a flat or something,” Liam says. “I mean, this is just a townhouse, but still…”  
  
“Are you asking how I can afford it?” Louis asks, still frowning.  
  
Calvin’s making a face, but Stan comments amicably once again. “That’s what he has me for,” he says.  
  
“I suppose so,” Liam says. “What’s your rent like?”  
  
Calvin chokes on his drink, and Louis sees Harry walk in the door.  
  
“Well, I’ll leave you to it, lads,” he says, clapping Calvin on the back, and escapes to Harry. He looks fucking beautiful, dressed up the way he always does outside the office. His hair is down, his curls springing around his face, and he’s shrugging off a navy blue peacoat to reveal a blousey pink shirt with lace panels, half the buttons undone. Louis’s going to have to try extremely hard not to just stare at his chest all night.  
  
“Hi,” Harry says.  
  
“Hi, love,” Louis says. “How are you?”  
  
Harry giggles. “You mean, since I last saw you two hours ago? I’m good.”  
  
“Good,” Louis says with a smile. “Here, hang your coat up.”  
  
Harry does, asking, “How’ve you been?”  
  
“Better now you’re here,” Louis says, jokingly but absolutely meaning it. “Liam’s just asking my roommate how much rent we pay.”  
  
Harry barks out a laugh, then covers his mouth. “He’s not.”  
  
Louis nods. “He is.” He gestures over to where Stan and Calvin are still trapped in conversation with Liam. “He was surprised I could afford a house. I don’t know what he thinks I spend my money on.”  
  
Last week he paid everyone in the office five pounds each to call Liam Ian all day. But that's not the point.  
  
Harry smiles. “Well, it is a very nice house,” he says. “From what I can see.”  
  
“The rest is covered in filth and tacky decor,” Louis says, and Harry laughs. “C’mon, let’s save my friends.”  
  
Stan seems very happy to meet Harry, but Louis’s not sure how much of that is because of the distraction from Liam.  
  
“So good to finally meet you mate,” he says. “We’ve heard so much about you.”  
  
Louis mentally facepalms, but Harry just smiles happily. “Likewise!” he says. “I feel like I already know you. S’weird it’s been so long and Lou’s never introduced us, I was starting to think he was making you up.”  
  
Stan nods seriously. “Same,” he says. “Wouldn’t put it past Louis to lie about having friends.”  
  
Harry laughs and Louis makes a face. “I’m right here you know!” he cries, and all three of them laugh at him. Louis realises Liam’s wandered off somewhere, and before he can worry about that, he hears Ben arrive.  
  
Hears. Because Ben announces it, loudly.  
  
Louis sighs. “Come on,” he says. “Come and meet my boss.”

*

Harry seems to have disappeared. Louis’s not sure if he’s more concerned with the idea of Harry loose in his house, possibly finding embarrassing stuff, or of Harry maybe having gone home without saying goodbye. Yeah, given that he doesn’t think he has any diaries with ‘I <3 Harry’ written on them lying around, the latter’s probably worse.  
  
He wanders through the house and ends up finding Harry in his room. Louis stops in the doorway for a minute, breath caught in his throat at the image of Harry sitting on his bed, studying his bookshelf. It’s just that – he looks like he’s meant to be there. He just fits in with Louis’s home, amongst Louis’s belongings, and it makes Louis ache for a moment that he doesn’t get to have this.  
  
He shakes it off, because if he doesn’t he’ll never stop dwelling on it.  
  
“Snooping, are we, Styles?”  
  
Harry jumps, and turns around, his hand on his heart. “You scared me!”  
  
Louis laughs. “Serves you right,” he says. “Creeping about my room like this, you deserve it.” He winks and sits on his desk chair, feeling like if he sat on a bed with Harry right now he might explode.  
  
Harry giggles. “Sorry,” he says. “I got preoccupied looking at the photos in the hallway, and before I knew it I was in here.”  
  
“Well, what do you think?”  
  
“It’s very you,” Harry says, gesturing to the footie and band posters. “I like it.”  
  
“Thank you very much,” Louis says, exaggeratedly gracious. Harry laughs again and turns back to the bookshelf.  
  
“Oh!” he says after a minute. “What’s this?” He pulls out a large leatherbound book, and it takes Louis a moment before his eyes widen.  
  
Fuck. It’s the scrapbook Lottie made him last Christmas. That’s kind of the last thing he wants Harry looking at.  
  
But Harry’s already opened it up and he’s already cooing at the first page. “Is that you? And your sisters? C’mere, you have to tell me who’s who.”  
  
Louis gives up, sitting beside Harry on the bed. Harry exclaims over how cute literally every photo is; Louis stops being embarrassed after a bit and actually feels a bit flattered. He tells Harry who every person is in each photo, and after a while Harry starts to know who’s who on his own. Harry asks how old Louis is in each photo and for the stories behind the picture, as well, like he’s genuinely very interested in Louis’s childhood. It fills Louis with this warm contentment.  
  
“Your mum is so pretty,” Harry says, stopped on a page with a photo of Louis and his mum from when he was about five. “Did she make you this?”  
  
“No, actually,” Louis says. “She doesn’t have the time to scrapbook. No, Lottie did. Last Christmas.”  
  
“That’s so lovely,” Harry says. “What a lovely gift. I love scrapbooks.”  
  
“Do you make them?” Louis asks. He knows Harry loves photography.  
  
Harry nods happily. “Yeah, when I have time,” he says. “I like to make them after I go on holidays. I also have one for every year, and I add to them every few weeks. It’s a really nice way to, like, memorialise your normal life. Plus it’s a way for me to showcase my favourite photos.”  
  
Louis nods along with what he’s saying. “That sounds so nice,” he says. “I wish I had the patience for that.” Harry smiles. “You should show me sometime.”  
  
“Okay, I’ll bring in all twenty scrapbooks on Monday,” Harry jokes.  
  
“Maybe just one at a time,” Louis laughs.  
  
“Okay,” Harry says with a smile, and then he turns the page. There’s a photo of Louis, at about six years old, wearing his mum’s nightie, a sailor hat, a blue feather boa and a cheeky grin. “Oh my God,” Harry gasps. “This is my favourite photo. Oh my God, Lou, that’s too fucking cute.”  
  
Louis laughs and tries to turn the page, but Harry won’t let him.  
  
“Please, no, I need this framed,” Harry says. “You were the cutest kid ever, holy shit.”  
  
Louis laughs some more. “Thanks, buttercup,” he says. “I hope you appreciate how embarrassing this is.”  
  
Harry looks at him with wide, earnest eyes. “It’s not embarrassing,” he says. “It’s _you_. Being a kid. It’s part of your life I never got to see, that I could never know otherwise. I love it.”  
  
And, well… when he puts it that way. Louis’s more than happy to comb through the rest of the scrapbook with him.

*

Louis had hired a karaoke machine, knowing that the office is full of people who love to sing and who are actually quite good at it. For some reason, though, he hadn’t really prepared himself for the possibility of Harry doing karaoke.  
  
He’s heard Harry sing once or twice, knows his voice is amazing, but he gets stage fright, so whenever there’s singing involved the mic is usually snatched up by someone else before Harry brings himself to volunteer. Still, there he is, with his chest spilling out of his lacy pink shirt, running a nervous hand through his lovely hair. He’s too cute.  
  
Ed’s standing behind him, presumably backing him up.  
  
“I just want to dedicate this one to the host,” Harry says, and he smiles at Louis. “Well done on the party Lou, and thanks for having us. This’s for you.” He winks, and then he grins, and Louis is just a puddle of goo at this stage.  
  
The song starts up, and Louis recognises it instantly. He knows Harry loves Queen, because Louis loves Queen and they’ve talked about it often. It’s another fucking thing entirely to hear Harry sing Queen, let alone singing a song that is on the surface about friendship, but is also pretty fucking romantic when you think about it.  
  
“ _You’re my sunshine_ ,” Harry sings directly to Louis. “ _And I want you to know that my feelings are true, I really love you. You’re my best friend_.”  
  
God. Louis wants someone to physically stab him and put him out of his misery. He’s already being figuratively stabbed in the chest by how adorable and sexy Harry looks, quite aside from the part where he’s fucking singing about _feelings_.  
  
The song goes on and Louis tries really hard not to take it seriously, not to believe every word Harry’s saying. He focuses instead on how wonderful Harry’s voice sounds singing this song, how fucking privileged he feels to hear it.  
  
The song is way too short, and Harry finishes long before Louis’s ready. He puts down the mic and bounds over to Louis. People are congratulating him, and he’s just smiling shyly and looking at Louis. Waiting for a response. Shit.  
  
“That was incredible,” Louis says. “God, Curly, every time I hear you sing it’s a fucking gift. I want to record you singing every song you know so I can listen to it forever. Like, literally, if I could listen to nothing but you for the rest of my life I’d be happy.”  
  
So Louis might be a bit drunk. He’s definitely still in a daze after having Harry sing for him. He can’t be blamed for his lovesick rambling.  
  
Harry just blushes and looks infinitely pleased, so Louis doesn’t think it’s a problem. “You’re just saying that.”  
  
“I promise you I’m not,” Louis says. “Record me an album for my next birthday. I’ll listen to nothing else for a whole year.”  
  
Harry giggles. “Okay. You’re on.”  
  
“Fantastic,” Louis says, and then, because his heart is bursting, he pulls Harry into a hug. He loves this boy with his entire heart and soul.

*

Louis is drunk. So drunk. Drunk enough to be sitting happily with Jade, Zayn, and Perrie, chattering away. He feels quite content. This was a great idea, having all his coworkers over. It's been such a good night.  
  
People have left. Louis is aware of that. There’s only a handful left, now. He hears clattering in the kitchen and gets up to investigate, wondering if there’s still someone getting themselves a drink. Louis had thought everyone was winding down.  
  
It’s not someone. It’s Harry. And he’s not getting a drink, he’s got a bin bag in his hand and he’s collecting plastic cups and empty bottles.  
  
Louis watches him for a bit, trying to sort out _why_ Harry has an almost full bin bag. Then Harry sets the bag down and wets a sponge, and starts wiping at the kitchen bench.  
  
“Harry, Curly, sweetheart, what’re you doing?” Louis asks, stepping into the kitchen.  
  
Harry looks up. His eyes are glassy and his cheeks are pink. His curls are a mess. He’s clearly just as drunk as Louis. Why on earth is he cleaning?  
  
“Why on earth are you cleaning?” Louis asks.  
  
Harry shrugs. “Was messy,” he says. “You’ll be hungover tomorrow. Shouldn’t do it hungover.” He shrugs again. “I like cleaning.”  
  
“Well, alright,” Louis says. “But instead, you could’ve been in the lounge with the rest of us. Relaxing, and that.”  
  
Harry smiles. “Didn’t know I was missing out,” he says. “Was tryin’ t’be helpful. I like being helpful.”  
  
He’s so cute. Such a sweetheart. Heart of gold. Louis steps closer and slings an arm around Harry’s neck.  
  
“And that’s why you’re my favourite,” Louis says. “But you were missing out. Every second you’re not with me we’re both missing out.”  
  
He tries not to think about how true that is, and focuses instead on trying to steer Harry towards the living room.  
  
Harry throws the sponge down on the bench and lets himself be led. “I think that’s probably very true,” he says.

 

***

 

This year, for the first time, Louis’s got Harry for the office Secret Santa. He’s so fucking excited about it. He comes to work on the day of their Christmas party stupidly proud of his present choice.  
  
Harry looks so cute today. He’s wearing a Christmas jumper, it’s black and covered in snowflakes with a huge Rudolph on the front, whose nose actually lights up. Harry’s also got his hair up in a high bun and he’s tied a big red bow around it. He looks adorable.  
  
Louis’s wearing a Christmas jumper too. It’s plain white, and in a basic font it says ‘THIS IS MY XMAS JUMPER’. Harry laughs when he sees it.  
  
“Nice one,” he says.  
  
“We can’t all be as dramatic as you, cupcake,” Louis says.  
  
Harry beams, and the nose on his chest flashes. “D’you like it?”  
  
“Yes, love,” Louis laughs. “It’s very you.”  
  
He puts his present under the tree when Harry isn’t looking. They’re doing presents at the end of the day. Louis simply can’t wait.

*

Louis got Harry a desktop aquarium. He was inspired by a conversation they’d had a while back; he’d noticed Harry hadn’t seemed to be playing The Sims anymore, and Harry said he’d gotten bored of it.  
  
“But don’t you miss watching them? All their little antics?” Louis had asked.  
  
Harry had gotten flustered for some reason, and then he’d said yes, he did. If only he could have something on his desk that he could watch when he was bored, but that required zero effort. That somehow had led to them discussing the idea of office pets, and that’s where Louis got the idea for a desktop aquarium. He’d even asked Ed if it was okay, if there were any rules against it, and Ed said there weren’t. He actually said that if it was for Harry it was even more okay; it could be considered a feature for the whole office if it was at reception.  
  
The Secret Santa limit was thirty pounds, and Louis managed to find a small aquarium online for just under that. Then, he’d filled the aquarium inside the box with little trinkets, mementos and inside jokes from the last six years. There’s also a gift certificate for the pet shop, because fuck spending limits, really. Last night he’d made a spontaneous decision to also include a card, which maybe tells Harry exactly how he feels about him.  
  
To borrow a sentiment from Harry’s favourite movie: it’s Christmas, and at Christmas you tell people how you feel.

*

Harry’s delighted when he unwraps his present. He beams at the picture on the box, not having opened it yet, and says, “What a wonderful idea, I love this so much.” He looks straight at Louis. “I really love it.”  
  
Louis’s insides flutter. “There’s a bit – ” he starts, but Liam interrupts him by yelling out Ed’s name and throwing a package at him. Louis supposes it can wait until afterwards.  
  
Ed unwraps a huge bag of guitar picks, each with a cool pattern, band logo, or scene from a movie. “Awesome,” he says. “I’m gonna guess these are from Niall?”  
  
“Yep,” Niall beams. “Might take you a while to lose all those, eh?”  
  
Louis laughs. It’s a bit of a running joke that Ed’s always losing his picks.  
  
Louis’s next, and he unwraps his package to find about ten pairs of socks. He chokes on a laugh. “S’gotta be Caroline,” he says, and she makes a face.  
  
“It’s December, Louis,” she says. “You have to wear socks.”

When Louis started working here, he'd had an aversion to socks. Caroline had always mothered him over it, especially in winter, until it turned into a running joke. Louis actually owns socks now, but the joke hasn't died.  
  
Liam throws a large present to Zayn next, and Zayn opens a Nintendo Wii. What the fuck. Everyone gapes.  
  
“What,” Zayn says, and opens the box. “What the fuck, it’s actually a Wii.”  
  
“Surprise!” Ben says gleefully. “I heard you say yours broke!”  
  
“But there was a thirty pound limit,” Zayn says weakly.  
  
“Ah, who cares!” Ben says. “It’s Christmas!”  
  
Nobody says anything. Louis is actually dumbfounded. He doesn’t… He doesn’t even have words.  
  
Liam seems to shake it off first, and he hands Ben a present. “Your turn, Ben,” he says.  
  
“Ooooh,” Ben says, shaking it. Louis doesn’t know why, it’s clearly soft. “I wonder what this could be.”  
  
He opens it to find some sort of clothing, which he shakes out. It’s a white T-shirt, and it’s clearly been modified by someone, spraypainted with bursts of pink, purple and blue, and the words ‘WORLD’S OKAYEST BOSS’ stencilled on.  
  
Ben stares at it, and then slowly puts it in his lap. “Who,” he swallows. “Who’s this from?”  
  
Zayn meekly raises his hand. Ben purses his lips and nods, and then he stands up, throws the shirt into his chair, and storms out.  
  
“What,” says Jade.  
  
“Is he really offended?” Zayn asks, looking perplexed. “I didn’t mean – like, he’s hardly the world’s best boss, is he? I thought it was funny…”  
  
Louis thinks it’s funny, too, but he knows Ben wouldn’t think so.  
  
“It was funny,” Perrie says.  
  
“It’s a bit mean,” Liam says.  
  
Zayn glares at him.  
  
“Are we still doing presents?” Jesy asks.  
  
“We don’t do anything without Ben,” Liam says firmly, and so they sit in silence and wait for him to come back.  
  
Louis exchanges a look with Harry, eyebrows raised. This is a fun Christmas party.

*

Ben bursts back in about ten minutes later. “We’re playing Yankee Swap!” he yells.  
  
“We’re what?” Harry asks.  
  
“What on earth is that?” asks Perrie. “I’ve never heard of it.”  
  
There’s muttering around the group as most people agree with her. Louis frowns. It definitely doesn’t sound good.  
  
“I think I saw it on an American show once,” Niall says. “I think you steal each other’s presents?”  
  
Julian, the only American in the office, nods in confirmation.  
  
“Exactly Niall!” Ben says. “We go around the room, and each person can either steal a present, or unwrap a new one. But there’s no stealing the same present more than three times each round. I was thinking we could play two rounds – one where everyone who hasn’t opened a present yet has a turn, and one where we all get to go.”  
  
“I don’t know,” Louis says. “I mean, we bought these presents specifically for people – ”  
  
“We’re playing! No arguments,” Ben cries. “Jade, you’re next to me, it’s your turn first.”  
  
“Erm,” Jade says, looking around the circle, at the wrapped presents, and then at the Wii. “I suppose I’d be stupid not to take the Wii.”  
  
Zayn groans, but he passes it over to her. It’s taken off her immediately by James, and then by Oli. After only three turns. Of course it’s all anyone wants. Maybe Harry will end up keeping his aquarium after all.  
  
Louis spends the whole game with a knot of anxiety in his stomach. Once everyone’s unwrapped something, the Wii is up for grabs again, and after two people steal it, it’s Harry’s turn. Leigh Anne stole the aquarium last round, so Harry can either take it back from her or be the last person to steal the Wii.  
  
He gives Louis an apologetic look. “I mean, it’s a Wii,” he says helplessly, then takes it off Perrie. Louis’s heart sinks.  
  
He gets it, but. He can’t help feeling utterly rejected.  
  
Louis ends up with a USB coffee warmer, which is pretty cool, but immediately after that Liam is the last person to steal the aquarium. “Cool, I’m gonna get a turtle,” Liam says.  
  
Motherfucking perfect.

*

Ben ended up with the homemade spa package Jade put together for Jesy, so he’s not exactly thrilled. Louis thinks he orchestrated the whole Yankee Swap because he wanted to get the Wii back.  
  
Oli, who ended up with a personalised mug with Jade’s name on it, complains about that. Ben gets pissed off, saying that it’s not like he got a good gift either, and Louis has had enough.  
  
“But this was your idea,” he says. “We put thought into these gifts. They don’t make sense for other people.”  
  
“Yeah,” says Lou. “Just because you spent a ridiculous amount of money – ”  
  
“Yeah, sue me for wanting to share my bonus,” Ben says, rolling his eyes. “I’m such a fucking Scrooge, right?”  
  
“Your bonus?” James asks, his voice low. “Why would you want to share your Christmas bonus?”  
  
Leigh Anne, who’s in accounting, says, “I thought nobody was getting a Christmas bonus this year, because the company’s in trouble?”  
  
“Well,” Ben says. He obviously wishes he hadn’t said anything. “Managers who let people go maybe got a tiny bonus.”  
  
“How much is a tiny bonus?” Caroline asks, her voice cool.  
  
“Uh,” Ben says, then mumbles, “Two thousand pounds.”  
  
The office erupts. What the fuck. What was even the point of firing someone if they’re just going to give the managers exorbitant bonuses? No wonder the company’s going broke.  
  
Ben flees while they’re all outraged, and everyone fumes once he’s gone.  
  
“Um,” says Harry. “Maybe let’s start the party?” He reaches over to the stereo, turns up the volume and presses play.  
  
“ _Simply having a wonderful Christmastime!_ ” blares out, and Louis almost wants to laugh. Almost.

*

Ben comes back with twenty bottles of vodka and twenty bottles of tequila. People cheer up once they start drinking, but Louis’s still miserable. Liam’s left the aquarium box on his desk, and Louis has to either persuade him to swap or somehow figure out a way to open it and get all the stuff out before he sees.  
  
He decides persuading him to swap might be the easier option, hopefully, so he finds Liam in the conference room. He’s put himself in charge of music.  
  
“No,” Liam says. “What could I possibly do with a coffee warmer? I always drink my coffee before it goes cold. Also, I want a turtle.”  
  
“C’mon, Liam, please,” Louis says. He actually says _please_. “It’s a special gift for Harry.”  
  
“Correction,” Liam says. “It’s a gift for me. Sorry, Louis, but I’m not giving up the possibility of a turtle for anyone.”  
  
Louis goes back to his desk, watches the box and sulks. He figures it’ll be easier to sneak the stuff out, or at least the card, when Liam’s drunker. Maybe he could even steal the box.  
  
Usually Liam doesn’t drink – some rubbish about his kidneys or lack thereof that Louis’s not sure he believes – but he always makes an exception for the Christmas parties. It’s only a matter of time.  
  
While Louis’s moping at his desk, clicking around on Facebook pretending to be busy, the warehouse guys come in. Which means Xavier comes in. He meets Harry at reception, so unfortunately Louis has to listen to them.  
  
“Whoa, you got a Wii? Nice,” Xavier says.  
  
“Yeah, I'm excited. It looks really cool,” Harry says. “Look, it comes with Mario Kart. We should play it tonight.”  
  
Louis bristles. Mario Kart’s always been his favourite game. God.  
  
“That's cool, babe,” Xavier says. “You know, I was actually going to get you one for Christmas this year. Surprise!”  
  
“You were?” Harry asks. He sounds surprised, but pleased. Louis seriously fucking doubts Xavier was going to buy Harry a Wii. Harry's not exactly a gamer; Louis really doubts anyone who knows Harry would go for that as a present.  
  
“Yeah, but now I don’t have to, do I?” Xavier says. Louis can hear the grin in his voice. How fucking convenient.  
  
“So what’re you gonna get me instead?” Harry asks, all flirty. Louis desperately wants to walk away, maybe go and drown himself in the toilets, but he has to stay here in case Liam comes to open the aquarium. Fuck.  
  
“I dunno,” Xavier says. “We need new saucepans, don't we? Maybe that.”  
  
“Oh,” Harry says. Louis’s disappointed on his behalf. He can’t think of a less exciting gift. And is it really a gift if it’s something Xavier’s going to use just as much? Ugh.  
  
Thankfully, Xavier convinces Harry to stop looking at the Wii manual and come and have a drink, so Louis doesn’t have to listen to them anymore. He can go back to thoughtlessly browsing Facebook in peace.

*

As the party goes on, and people get drunker, they end up swapping their presents back. Jade gets her mug, and Ed gets his picks, and Jesy’s got her spa package. Louis sees that Ben, who’s absolutely wasted, is wearing his T-shirt and laughing about it with Zayn. Louis decides to leave the aquarium unattended for just a minute and hunt down James, who the USB coffee warmer was supposed to go to and who actually ended up with Louis’s socks, and see if he wants to swap.  
  
“Nah,” James says. “The socks are cool. I like ‘em, and I’m sure I’ll wear ‘em more than you will. Take the coffee warmer.”  
  
“Thanks, James,” Louis says. This is the first good thing that’s happened all night, he thinks. “You borrow it whenever you like, yeah?”  
  
“Sure, Louis,” James smiles, and Louis heads back to his desk, feeling a bit lighter… only to see that the aquarium’s gone. He stops dead, his heart in his throat, and looks around for Liam.  
  
He can’t see him anywhere… but he does see Harry. At reception. With the aquarium.  
  
Louis makes a beeline to him, his eyes wide. Harry wants his present now? Over a fucking Wii?  
  
“What’s going on?” he asks.  
  
Harry looks up, a soft smile on his face. “This is the most thoughtful present here,” he says. “You got it because I said I wanted an office pet, yeah?”  
  
Louis nods slowly.  
  
“I’d rather have your present,” Harry says definitively. “I swapped Liam for it. And, besides, I think Xav was gonna get me a Wii for Christmas anyway.”  
  
Louis tries to smother a grin. He’s not really successful. But now Xavier has to come through on his probably fake claim, ha.  
  
“Well, the thing about this present is that it’s actually got secret bonus presents,” Louis says. Harry looks confused. “Open it.”  
  
Harry does, and he lifts the aquarium out. Louis watches the card flop into the box, and he thinks he’ll grab it when Harry’s distracted by the little gifts.  
  
“Oh my God,” Harry says. He pulls out the biggest item, a Pikachu plushie. “Is this from that claw game?”  
  
“Yep,” Louis says. A few Spheres ago, they’d drunkenly played the claw machine at the pub. Louis won, and Harry refused to take the plushie, insisting that it was Louis’s prize. Well, it’s his now.  
  
“And is this… oh my God!” Harry yelps, pulling out a framed photo of baby Louis in a nightie and feather boa that Harry had loved so much in Lottie’s scrapbook. “Louis! This is amazing.”  
  
“I thought you’d like that,” Louis says, pulling the empty box towards himself while Harry’s distracted.  
  
Harry exclaims over all the little trinkets in the aquarium, and then he finds the gift certificate last. “And you’ve paid for the fish? Louis,” he looks up, and his eyes are sparkling. “This is officially the best present ever.”  
  
“I’m glad you like it,” Louis says.  
  
Harry comes around the desk and gives him a big hug. He smells like Christmas and home, and Louis melts into him. He just barely manages to remember to grab the card from the box before Harry lets him go.  
  
“You’re the best,” Harry says as he pulls away, his eyes shining, and Louis’s heart only pangs a little bit.  
  
Later, Louis notices that the Wii is on Lou Teasdale’s desk, while Liam is opening the boxes of Marvel Pop Vinyl figurines that he was supposed to get originally. Wow.  
  
“What’s this, then?” Louis asks.  
  
Liam shrugs. “I’ve been after a Spider Gwen figurine for ages,” he says. “And Lou’s a single mum. I figured she deserved a Wii more than I did.”  
  
Louis’s officially impressed. It’s a really good Christmas after all.

 

***

 

Louis’s not really excited for his birthday. He’s going to the pub with some friends on the 23rd, and he invited some guys from work – just Niall, Harry, and Ed – but he doesn’t expect Harry to come. In fact, he actually kind of hopes he won’t, because since Lottie’s just turned eighteen she’s decided to come to Manchester to join in. Louis’s happy she’s here, but he’d rather not have her and Harry meet. He just knows it can’t end well.  
  
Of course, Harry turns up. The first time he’s ever come to the pub with Louis, or to Louis’s birthday, and it’s when Louis’s little sister is there to embarrass him. Perfect.  
  
“Hiiiii,” Harry says, giving Louis a tight hug. He hands Louis a gift bag with a big smile. “Happy birthday, Lou!”  
  
“Thanks, Curly,” Louis says, surprised and pleased he’s getting a present. He opens the bag and lifts out a frame, one of those ones with space for three photos. He recognises the top one as one of Harry’s, just because of the style. It’s from the party at Louis’s place, of Louis and Niall and Perrie laughing together. It’s really beautifully done, kind of soft and lovely. In sharp contrast, the two photos below it are selfies of him and Harry – one clearly from Snapchat, with the bunny filter, which Louis thinks was taken only a few months ago, and the other from the company picnic a couple of years back. They’re both wearing sunglasses, but they still look so young.  
  
“Harry,” Louis says, looking up. He’s all choked up. Harry looks nervous, for some odd reason. “I love this so much.”  
  
Harry smiles, clearly relieved. “I thought you needed a photo of us on your desk, but I couldn’t pick my favourite.”  
  
“I love it,” Louis says, his belly warm at the idea. “I’d forgotten that old one existed. And the one from my party’s so beautiful. You’re so talented.”  
  
Harry flushes. “Thanks,” he says. “There’s something else,” he adds, gesturing to the bag.  
  
Louis finds a snapback with the Captain America shield on it, and he grins and jams it on his head. There’s also… a CD. He looks up at Harry, who’s definitely blushing.  
  
“Um,” he says. “You said you wanted me to record an album for you, d’you remember? And I didn’t really have time this year, so – maybe next year – but I recorded myself singing a song. So.” He shrugs. “I hope you like it.”  
  
It’s the fastest Louis’s maybe ever heard him talk, and oh God, Louis’s _heart_. He’s so in love he can’t stand it.  
  
“Harry fucking _Styles_ ,” he says, crushing him into a hug. “Fucking hell, this’s made me so happy. I can’t wait to listen to it.”  
  
Harry laughs, hugging him back. He’s always so _warm_. “I hope you like it,” he says again.  
  
“I will,” Louis promises as he regretfully lets Harry go. “And I’m holding you to it. Next year, I want an album.”  
  
Harry giggles. “Okay, Lou. Promise.”  
  
Louis beams. “You’re my favourite person in the _world_.”  
  
“Can’t wait to tell Mum and the girls that, they’ll be well crushed,” Lottie says, appearing out of nowhere and giving Louis a heart attack.  
  
“You must be Lottie,” Harry says, his smile wide and charming. “I loved the scrapbook you made.”  
  
Lottie laughs, surprised. “Louis let you see that?”  
  
Louis sighs. “I didn’t have much of a choice,” he says.  
  
“I loved it,” Harry says, his dimples out. Fuck, he’s beautiful. Louis has this realisation about ten times a day, but it always hits him so hard.  
  
“And who are you, then?” Lottie asks, smiling back. She’s clearly charmed.  
  
“’m Harry, from work,” Harry says.  
  
“Ohhhh,” Lottie says. “Hi _Harry_.” Ugh. Louis regrets the day he ever told his family about the cute guy at work.  
  
Lottie doesn’t actually embarrass him just yet, though; instead, she gets distracted by Harry’s bright red nails (“Because it’s Christmas,” he says cheerfully), and sits him in the booth and they chat about nail art. Louis goes to get Harry a drink, and when he comes back they’re still talking. He sits down opposite them and mostly just listens, actually really happy to watch the two most important aspects of his life colliding.

*

Harry doesn’t end up staying too late, because he says he and Xavier have to leave early the next day to go to Xavier’s parents’ house. It’s okay, though, really, because at least he was there at all. He has a few drinks and he shouts along with Louis to the 90's pop playing over the speakers, and when he leaves, he gives Louis a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. Louis’s on fire while Harry wishes him a happy birthday and says goodnight.  
  
He goes back to the table, a bit shell-shocked. Harry doesn’t normally kiss his cheek. It’s overwhelming.  
  
“I really liked him,” Lottie says. “I get what you see in him.”  
  
Louis smiles at her. “He’s wonderful, isn’t he?”  
  
“Yeah,” Lottie laughs. “Let’s get you another drink.”

*

Louis doesn’t listen to the song until late Christmas Eve, because when he got home he was too drunk, and then he was hungover, and then he and Lottie had to drive to Doncaster, and then they had to have a birthday dinner with the family.  
  
Finally he gets a moment of peace, in Lottie’s old bedroom, which is a guest bed now since she’s moved out recently. She’s kipping with Fizzy, because they’ve missed each other and neither of them wanted to share a room with him, which, fine. Whatever.  
  
Louis’s old room belongs to the youngest twins now. He expects Daisy or Pheobe will move into this room soon enough – they’re getting too big to share their pokey little room. When that happens, he’ll probably have to sleep on the sofa when he visits. At least for now he gets a bed. And some privacy.  
  
Speaking of which - he pops Harry’s CD into his MacBook, antsy for it to load. He can’t believe he’s gone this long without hearing it, but at the same time, he’s glad he waited until he could fully enjoy it.  
  
There are two songs on the CD. Louis presses play on the first one, and there’s a rustling sound and then Harry’s voice.  
  
“Hi Lou,” he says. Louis breathes in sharply. “Happy birthday! Um, I really hope this isn’t crap, I’m using a backing track, so I might fuck up. But I love this song and it makes me think of you. So here we go.”  
  
The song starts up, and Louis sort of recognises it, but it’s not until Harry sings the first few lines, until he actually sings the title of the song, that Louis places it. It’s Read My Mind by The Killers.  
  
“ _Oh well, I don’t mind if you don’t mind, cause I don’t shine if you don’t shine_ ,” Harry sings, and Louis’s stomach flips. Does this song really make Harry think of him? Because, well, it probably could pass as a friendship thing, but it’s quite a romantic song, Louis thinks. Some of the lines are just – if this is really the sort of thing Harry associates with him – maybe his feelings aren’t quite so hopeless after all.  
  
And it’s just – his voice is so lovely, rough yet sweet, low and melodic, like honey dripping out of Louis’s speakers – that he has to replay the song before he can even listen to the next one. And it’s even more overwhelming on second listen. It’s beautiful. And the nervousness in his voice before he starts – the completely unwarranted nervousness – Harry is such a beautiful person, so thoroughly golden-hearted. Louis couldn’t possibly be more in love with him.  
  
And then he plays the next song.  
  
“So, I hope you liked that,” Harry says, sort of shyly. “And you seemed to like this song, so I thought I’d include it too.”  
  
The opening chords start, and it’s Queen, You’re My Best Friend. Of course. And God, hearing this sober, it really doesn’t seem like a song that someone with a fiancé would sing to their friend. Even their best friend. It’s all about prioritising this one person over everyone else. Louis really doesn’t know how Harry doesn’t see that.  
  
But Louis shakes those thoughts away. Because regardless, it’s a lovely sentiment, and the message across both these songs is loud and clear: Louis matters to Harry. Louis’s hopes aside, this is the most heartfelt present he’s maybe ever gotten, and it makes him feel so important and loved.  
  
He imports the songs into his iTunes, names them, then plugs in his phone and imports them onto that. While he’s got his phone, he opens up his messages and pulls up Harry’s name.  
  
_Only just got a chance to listen to the CD, finally. God, Harry, that was AMAZING !! Your voice is absolutely gorgeous. Thank you so so much. Best present ever !! Although I stand by what I said about wanting a full album ;) xx  
  
_ Harry responds almost instantly, despite how late it is on Christmas bloody Eve.  
  
_You’re welcome!! I’m so glad you liked it!! And thank you very much! I promise, next year. H xxx  
  
_ Louis smiles at his phone. Harry always signs off his texts like that, like Louis might think someone else was replying to him.  
  
_Please. I’d be the luckiest man in the world xx_ _  
  
__Of course. Happy birthday Lou, and merry Christmas. H xxx  
  
__Merry Christmas love ! xx  
  
_ Louis falls asleep with happiness warm in his chest, listening to Harry’s songs on repeat.

 

***

 

They have two weeks off for the holidays, and then they’re back in the new year. Louis hasn’t seen Harry since his birthday – he’d gone clubbing with his friends for New Years, he never sees Harry at this time of year. It’s weird, but at the same time Louis’s really kind of used to the parts of his life that are separate to Harry.  
  
It makes seeing him again in January absolutely wonderful, though.  
  
Harry comes into work with a rather large container of water, and it takes Louis a moment to realise it’s a fish. Two fish. He jumps up and goes to reception.  
  
“You got fish!” he cries.  
  
“I did,” says Harry happily. “Got them last night, aren’t they beautiful?”  
  
“They are,” Louis says. One’s black with bulging eyes, and the other is speckled orange, white and brown, with a large, pretty tail.  
  
“That one’s a bubble-eye, and that one’s a fantail,” Harry says. “They’re both goldfish.”  
  
“Have you named them?” Louis asks.  
  
“Thought we could do that together,” Harry says with a smile. Louis swears his heart leaps. “We can spend today brainstorming.”

*

Ben announces that he’s starting a new tradition called Movie Monday, where they’ll watch a movie every Monday in hour-long instalments. Or half the movie, really. So basically they’ll be watching a movie across two Mondays.  
  
Louis sort of understands it. He thinks it’s a large gap to have, a weeklong pause in a film doesn’t seem incredibly enjoyable, but he’s not going to complain about watching movies at work.  
  
Ben says that they’ll each have a turn to pick a film, starting in order of their sales record, so Liam goes first. Louis’s starting to wonder if this might be payback, if Ben’s wronged Liam in some way.  
  
Ben orders Harry to microwave ten bags of popcorn, so Louis goes to the kitchen with him. He’d rather watch Harry use the microwave than listen to Ben and Liam argue about films.  
  
“I’m so tired,” Harry says as he works. “God. It’s always so hard, coming back after the time off.”  
  
“I know,” Louis says. He’d love a snooze right about now.  
  
Harry sighs and loads the bags of popcorn onto a tray. They go back into the conference room and Ben is the first to take a bag.  
  
“Mmm, yummy,” he says.  
  
“Does anyone else want one?” Harry asks. No one does.  
  
“Of course,” Harry sighs. He puts the popcorn down on the chair closest to the door.  
  
“C’mon, you two, sit down,” Liam says. “We’re watching the first Captain America.”  
  
Ooh. Louis’s completely happy with that choice.  
  
Not long into the movie, when Bucky rescues Steve from the wanker in the alleyway, Harry leans over and whispers, “We should name the fish after Bucky and Steve.”  
  
Louis grins at him. “ _Yes_ ,” he whispers back. He loves that idea.  
  
Liam shushes them loudly, and they go back to watching the movie.  
  
A while later, after Steve's transformation, Louis feels a weight on his shoulder. He tilts his head and there’s Harry, fast asleep, his head resting on Louis.  
  
Louis’s heart swells, and he stays perfectly still. The last thing he wants to do is wake Harry and stop this beautiful thing that’s happening.  
  
Harry doesn’t wake up, not even through the explosions when Steve rescues Bucky. He doesn’t wake up when Ben pauses the movie and turns on the lights, and everyone else gets up and leaves.  
  
Louis pokes Harry gently, shifting his shoulder a bit. His arm’s gone dead.  
  
“Mmf,” Harry grumbles, his eyelids fluttering. “Wha’issit?”  
  
He’s so fucking cute.  
  
“Wake up, petal,” Louis says. “Movie’s over.”  
  
“Oh,” Harry says, and he frowns. “ _Oh_. I missed the film.”  
  
Louis smiles at his disappointment. “You’ve seen it before.”  
  
“Only a hundred times,” Harry agrees, still frowning. “I love that film.”  
  
“Watch it tonight,” Louis suggests as they get up.  
  
“I’ll have to,” Harry says around a yawn. “So. Bucky and Steve for the fish, yeah?”  
  
Louis beams. “Yes. Love that idea.”  
  
“I was thinking, the black one for Bucky would be the obvious choice, yeah? But then I thought, no, Steve’s got all this darkness buried in him, and Bucky’s beautiful and multi-coloured. Like, they’re both amazing, but I feel like that represents who they are underneath better.”  
  
Louis smiles. He just, he fucking _loves_ this, sleepy Harry analysing Marvel characters. “Sounds good, love,” he says, and Harry looks happy.

 

***

 

Every six months, Ben organises a company retreat. They’re supposed to do something vaguely fun while they’re taught some sort of lesson. This time it’s a booze cruise around the canals, which is actually, genuinely exciting. It might be the best idea Ben’s ever had, even though it’s January and it’s freezing.  
  
Louis’s not quite sure how Ben expects to have a company retreat on a boat with its own activities and a bunch of other patrons, but he’s looking forward to watching him struggle. And to drinking a lot. Xavier will be there, because the warehouse is invited too, so Louis’s invited Greg to distract himself.  
  
Things with Greg are still pretty casual. They hook up when he’s around, and when he’s not, they don’t care what the other gets up to. It’s basically friends with benefits. Louis definitely wouldn’t say Greg’s his boyfriend, but he may have let certain people in the office believe that he is. For some reason, it gives him a sick sort of satisfaction to have Harry think he has a boyfriend. Louis’s not sure if it’s a pathetic attempt to make it seem like he’s at least desirable to someone, or if he’s hoping to make Harry jealous. It’s probably a mix of the two. Which is just pitiful, he thinks.  
  
Anyway. Greg being there definitely makes it more palatable. He’s an excellent distraction, if only because he keeps talking to Louis, keeps him engaged. Harry keeps drawing Louis’s attention back, pretty much every few minutes, but then Greg talks and Louis has to acknowledge him. It helps.  
  
Louis is trying really hard not to think about all the ways Greg pales in comparison to Harry.  
  
Ben struggles through the first half of his presentation. The cruise director keeps interrupting him or shushing him. So unfair for them to assume their cruise and a few dozen other paying patrons are more important than Ben Winston’s Management Tutorials. To blatantly ignore the fact that Syco Software is the centre of the universe. How very dare they.  
  
Louis and Greg are sitting with Harry and Xavier, despite Louis and Xavier clearly hating each other and the weird tension between Harry and Greg. (They really don’t seem to click. Louis doesn’t get it because he’s never seen Harry do anything other than charm everyone he meets.) They have to pretend they’re all friends for no real reason. Louis guesses it’s the adult thing to do. He’s only doing it because he’d rather be with Harry than anyone else here, obviously, and Harry comes with Xavier.  
  
Greg and Xavier seem to get on at least. It’s good because it means someone distracts Xavier so Louis can talk to Harry. Because the thing is, when he’d thought he wanted a distraction from Harry earlier, what he’d meant was he wanted a distraction from Harry and Xavier. Louis would happily sit here and talk to Harry all night. But he hates, hates, _hates_ being around Harry with his fiancé.  
  
They’ve got two jugs of mojitos on the table, their third different cocktail for the night. Greg and Xavier are talking about their shared experience playing basketball in secondary. Which. What the fuck, Louis thought Xavier played footie? Louis hates him so much more all of a sudden, for being so athletic and fit while Louis barely squeezes in time at the gym once a week.  
  
Harry makes a face at Louis, and Louis grins back. At least Harry doesn’t seem to care about whatever his dumb fiancé’s bragging about.

*

Xavier’s been gone for a while, which is lovely. Greg’s still at the table, but Niall’s joined them, so he and Niall have been chatting about music for ages. Which leaves Louis with Harry. So he’s really been enjoying the last twenty minutes or so. They’re giggling about the weird tension between Zayn and Liam, as well as Ben’s inability to save his presentation.  
  
“’S’cuse me everyone,” an annoyingly familiar voice cuts in on the microphone, over the band, who come to a stop. Harry whips his head around to the stage and Louis mimics him. There’s Xavier, standing out there facing Harry. He looks serious. “Hey baby.”  
  
Harry waves and Louis wants to throw up. He wants to be the one to call Harry baby. Shit, he’s drunk. What’s even going on?  
  
“’ve just been ‘avin’ a chat up ‘ere with Captain John,” Xaxier says, and at least he sounds as drunk as Louis feels. “An’ ‘e’s been talkin’ ‘bout love and commitment. An’ e’ made me realise that, if ya love someone, ya oughta lock ‘em down good. An’ I don’ think bein’ engaged is locked down enough, know wha’ I mean? I reckon we should set a date. How’s May 18th, baby?”  
  
Louis actually thinks he’s going to be sick. His eyes snap back to Harry, who looks shocked. Slowly a smile spreads across his face and he stands up. Louis stomach sinks.  
  
“Sounds good to me,” Harry says, and Xavier whoops. The whole cruise whoops, including Greg. Xavier bounds off the stage and sweeps Harry up in a kiss, and Louis has to get out of there.  
  
He leaves the cheers and the clapping behind as he steps out onto the deck. It’s empty; anyone who was enjoying the view or smoking clearly got caught up in the excitement inside.  
  
Louis stares out at the water for a minute, and then he fumbles out a cigarette and his lighter. He smokes for a while, feeling very emo. He thinks his aesthetic right now is proper artsy, and he feels like Harry could probably capture it well, like one of his more hipster photos. But then of course that just makes him think of Harry, which makes him more emotional.  
  
Fuck. They’ve set a date. Harry agreed. It’s just, it’s dumb. But sometimes Louis forgets just how little of a chance he has with Harry. He forgets that Harry is actually, genuinely in love with someone else. Louis doesn’t even occur to him in that way; there are two boxes in Harry’s head, and Xavier sits in the ‘love of my life’ box while Louis sits firmly in the ‘best mate’ one. The boxes aren’t one and the same in his head the way they are in Louis’s.  
  
It’s so easy to get swept away, with all the one on one time he spends with Harry and how much he ignores Harry and Xavier as a couple. But they’re in love. They’re getting married, for real.  
  
Louis’s heart feels well and truly broken.  
  
“Disappointing night, eh?” someone says, and Louis drags his eyes away from the water to see Ben standing beside him, lighting his own smoke.  
  
“Yeah,” Louis says after a minute, confused. Why would Ben be disappointed by Harry setting a date? Why would he think Louis was?  
  
“I’m so sorry,” he says, and Louis frowns. What the fuck? Why is he sorry? This is like the one thing that’s not Ben’s fault. “I should have pushed harder. Got that Barrowman fuck to shut up.”  
  
Barrow – John. He’s talking about Captain John, who apparently talked Xavier into committing. Well, if Ben was there, then yeah. Louis’s confused but he agrees. Ben should’ve gotten him to shut up.  
  
Ben sighs. “I guess we’ll have to have the presentation back in the boring old office. What a waste of a good nautical theme.”  
  
Okay. Louis is well and truly confused. He squints at Ben, who’s looking absolutely morose, and it hits him. Ben’s not talking about Harry at all. He’s talking about his fucking disaster of a training day.  
  
He thinks Louis gives a shit.  
  
“Oh,” Louis says. “Well, yeah.”  
  
“It was such a waste of a trip,” Ben whines. “Nobody accomplished anything.”  
  
“Except Xavier and Harry,” Louis mumbles spitefully.  
  
“What?” Ben says, and then Louis has his second realisation. Ben must have missed that whole proposal.  
  
Fuck. Now Louis has to tell him and pretend he’s not completely horrified by the idea. “Uh, Xavier sort of – took the mic and told Harry they should set a date. So it’s the 18th of May. They’re pretty happy.”  
  
_And I want to jump off the side of the boat_ , he thinks.  
  
“Oh wow,” Ben says. “You know, by hiring them, I sort of set them up.”  
  
“They met in secondary school,” Louis says, and Ben frowns.  
  
“Oh,” he says. “Right.” He pauses, studying Louis. “Wait. Harry’s, like, your best mate, right?”  
  
“Uh, yeah,” Louis says.  
  
“Why aren’t you inside with them, then? Shouldn’t you be celebrating?”  
  
“Um,” Louis says. Fuck’s sake. Why has Ben picked now of all times to be perceptive?  
  
“You’re unhappy,” Ben accuses slowly. “You’re out here smoking like a moody teenager.”  
  
“I just wanted a smoke break,” Louis says weakly.  
  
“Bullshit,” Ben counters.  
  
And Louis knows it’s a mistake. He knows he’s confiding in possibly the worst person on the planet. But he’s miserable and it literally feels like – well, he missed Harry’s proposal the first time. But he feels like he’s just witnessed it now, and he’s drunk and he can’t think straight or keep his sadness out of his mouth.  
  
“I may, possibly, be unhappy,” Louis says. He looks out at the water again when he sees the ‘why’ forming on Ben’s lips. “I might have feelings for Harry.”  
  
Ben gasps. “What?” he says. Louis looks at him and he looks proper shocked. “Really? Who else knows?”  
  
“No one, and you can’t tell anyone,” Louis says, hating himself for making this fucking mistake. He still can’t stop talking. “It’s dumb, it’s not – it’ll go away, he can’t know. I can’t help it.”  
  
“Oh,” Ben says, his eyes flicking back towards inside the boat. “This must be hell for you, yeah? Do you want to talk about it?”  
  
Louis looks at him, at the pity in his face and his simultaneous eagerness, probably at being included in something. And he finally clams up.  
  
“I’m okay,” he says, and then he outright lies. “You know, Xavier said he did it because he was inspired by someone tonight to act, that if he loves someone he should lock them down. That sounds a lot like what you were saying earlier, about committing to your goals and tying them down like an anchor.”  
  
Ben straightens up, excitement dawning on his face. “Really? Did he really? I helped him commit?” he looks so happy, and then he gives Louis a pity frown. “I’m sorry, it’s my fault you’re sad.”  
  
“I’m not that sad,” he lies. “Ben! You’re missing the most important thing. Your presentation worked!”  
  
“Shit, it did,” Ben says, grin spreading across his face. “It really did!”  
  
Ben cajoles him into going inside, where he congratulates Xavier and Harry, and modestly says, “And you can thank me for being Xavier’s inspiration.”  
  
“Oh, no, you weren’t,” says Xavier happily. “It was all Captain John!” He toasts the cruise director, and Ben’s expression sours. It’s the bright spot of the night.  
  
The boat turns back, and Louis goes back outside. Greg follows him this time.  
  
“I was looking for you before,” he says. “You were gone ages.”  
  
“Smoke break,” Louis says, waving his cigarette.  
  
“Right,” Greg says. He pauses. “So, Harry and Xavier are engaged.”  
  
Louis frowns. No shit. “They were already engaged.”  
  
“Xavier said the first one didn't count.”  
  
_Wow_. That's just fucking brilliant. Can Louis go back in time and tell himself not to angst over being so hung up on someone who was so deeply committed, seeing as it didn't fucking _count?  
  
_ “Are you okay?” Greg looks concerned.  
  
“My best mate’s getting married,” Louis says, smiling his best fake smile. “Why wouldn’t I be?”  
  
“Dunno,” Greg says. “Maybe for the same reason you wanted to talk to Harry instead of me all night.”  
  
“I didn’t,” Louis says, surprised he noticed.  
  
“You did,” Greg sighs. “I don’t know. I like you, Louis, but I get the feeling there’s more going on here. It’s getting complicated and I don’t want to get in the way.”  
  
“You’re not,” Louis says. “You’re definitely not.” He frowns. “This was just casual anyway, wasn’t it?”  
  
“Yeah,” Greg says. “I dunno. I guess I’m not comfortable with it anymore. I’d rather be with someone who really wants to be with me first and foremost, even if it’s just sexually. Does that make sense?”  
  
“Yeah,” Louis says. He sighs. He definitely can’t say he’s never thought about Harry whilst he’s been with Greg.  
  
“I’ve been thinking about getting off the road for a bit anyway,” Greg says. “Going back to the desk in Leeds. So I wouldn’t see you for ages anyway.”  
  
“Right,” Louis says. He’s disappointed, but mostly he just… doesn’t care. Which sucks, because he does like Greg. He should feel something about it being over. But he’s too sad right now to give much of a fuck.  
  
Greg sighs. “Okay,” he says. “I’m gonna go and hang out with Niall.”  
  
He goes back inside, and Louis goes back to smoking and watching the water. He mopes the entire way back to the dock.

 

***

 

Louis feels like he has a hangover the whole next week back at work. Nobody can shut up about Harry’s wedding plans, which means there’s always someone over at Harry’s desk asking him about it. Which means Louis is sort of stuck at his desk, because like hell he’s going over and getting involved.  
  
Arguably the worst part is whenever Ben hears the wedding chatter. He keeps giving Louis these exaggerated sympathetic looks. Louis fucking hates himself for confiding in the world’s worst confidante. It’s just a matter of time before Ben accidentally says something, and then Louis’s life will be ruined.  
  
A week to the day after the cruise, Harry asks Louis to go out to lunch with him. It’s not unusual for them to have lunch together, but it’s almost always in the breakroom. Harry wanting to eat with Louis away from other people makes Louis nervous. He’s not even sure why: if it’s his apparently undying hope that Harry will realise he has feelings for Louis, or if it’s because Louis has spent less time at reception this week and he’s sure Harry’s noticed. Probably thinks Louis’s avoiding him. Which… he kind of is.  
  
They go to the café next door. Louis orders a chicken panini and a mochaccino and Harry does too, and they sit in comfy chairs in the corner.  
  
“Feel like we haven’t talked much lately,” Harry says.  
  
Louis nods. “I know,” he says, and then he uses the excuse he’s had saved all week: “I’ve had a surprising amount of work this week.”  
  
Harry smiles, a bit like he’s relieved that’s the reason. It makes Louis feel much worse, so he teases Harry to take his mind off it.  
  
“Plus, whenever I was free, you were always talking to someone,” Louis pokes his side. “You’ve become rather popular.”  
  
Harry giggles. “I know, it’s weird,” he says. “I’d rather have you loitering at reception than any of them. They all want to be invited to the wedding, even people like Oli and Zayn who I never speak to normally.”  
  
“That is weird,” Louis says, trying not to sound strangled. This fucking wedding. Why can’t he just act like a human being about it? “Oli probably just wants to go because he thinks he can pull at a wedding. Probably thinks he’ll be the only straight guy there.”  
  
Harry laughs. “I think there’s a high possibility you’re right,” he says, rolling his eyes.  
  
“So um,” Louis says, and then in an effort to not be a fucking weirdo about all of this, he asks, “How’s the wedding stuff going anyway? We haven’t really talked about it.” He even manages not to wince. Score one for Louis.  
  
Harry lights up, and Louis immediately feels like such an arse for avoiding the topic with him. “It’s going well I guess,” he says. “It’s a pretty short time frame, but I’ve been vaguely planning for years so it’s not like I’m not prepared.” He takes a bite of his panini and Louis just watches and waits. He’ll never not be fascinated by the way Harry eats, tongue first like a lizard. It always makes Louis’s brain wander. Fuck.  
  
Louis takes a gulp of his mochaccino to distract himself.  
  
“The biggest thing is, um, the wedding party,” Harry says. “Xav’s got his side sorted but I haven’t figured out anything for mine. I haven’t even asked anyone.” He chuckles, uncomfortable, and Louis starts to get a bad feeling. “I suppose I’m thinking about my sister for my – well, maid of honour, I suppose. But I was also thinking… I mean, Louis, you’re my best friend.”  
  
“Right,” Louis says, steeling himself. He feels sick.  
  
“I thought maybe you wouldn’t want to do it because you’ve seemed – I don’t know, uncomfortable? I don’t think you like weddings.”  
  
He couldn’t be more wrong – Louis loves weddings. He’d rather stab himself in the eye with a fork than even _go_ to Harry’s wedding, but that’s a different story. “I, yeah,” is all he manages to say.  
  
Harry’s shoulders slump. “Yeah,” he says. “But, um. I figured there was no harm in asking. I won’t be upset if you say no, I promise.”  
  
He looks so sincere. Louis hates to turn him down, knows that he’ll be disappointed, and it kills Louis to think of disappointing Harry, but. Being his best man would be literal torture.  
  
“You want me to be your best man?” he asks, just to be sure. “Or a groomsman?”  
  
“My best man,” Harry says, and Louis’s stomach sinks. “I mean, if you want. You’re one of my absolute favourite people, Lou. It would mean so much to me.”  
  
Fuuuuuuck. How can Louis say no to that?  
  
“God, Harry. I mean wow,” he says. “That’s a huge… it’s such an honour that you want me to, really it is. And I don’t want to say no, but I…” what the fuck, what possible excuse can he come up with? _I’m allergic to weddings_? Well, actually – “The thing is, weddings make me really anxious, and I’m not sure if I could handle the … the responsibility? Maybe your sister would be a better choice.”  
  
Harry frowns. He looks disappointed, but also confused and concerned. “I mean, I could make it so that you don’t have to do much of anything…”  
  
“That’s shit though,” Louis says. “I want you to have the best best man possible. I’m just not sure if that’s me.”  
  
“There’s nobody better than you,” Harry objects. Louis’s stomach turns.  
  
“Well, I mean, is Xavier okay with it? You remember that he hates me, right? The last thing I want to do is cause problems.”  
  
Okay, that might be a lie. But it’s a good point nonetheless, he thinks.  
  
“Well…” Harry hedges. “It’s possible that I may not have run this by him yet…”  
  
“Harry!” Louis says, torn between admonishing and laughing.  
  
“But he doesn’t hate you!” Harry adds quickly. “I’m sure he’d be fine with it.”  
  
Louis does laugh at that. Sure. “Okay Styles,” he says. “If Xavier says it’s alright, then I’ll be your best man. How about that?”  
  
Harry lunges around the table and wraps his arms around Louis. “Oh, Lou, thank you so much! I promise he will! Oh my God, this is going to be amazing!”  
  
There’s no way in hell Xavier will agree to this. It’s going to be fine. Louis found the perfect out. 

*

Of course, because the universe hates Louis, Xavier fucking agrees to it. Harry comes to work the next day, tired but happy, and he drags Louis outside to the stairwell to tell him.  
  
“We talked for hours,” Harry says. “I had to swear there was nothing going on between us, can you believe that?” He rolls his eyes and Louis’s heart aches. “I mean, I’m _marrying_ him, I want you to be in our wedding party, if there was anything going on here why would I want that? It’s ridiculous.”  
  
“Ridiculous,” Louis echoes weakly. Why does he ever think that he can’t possibly get any more heartbroken? He always proves himself wrong.  
  
“So then he agreed,” Harry says happily. “I’m so fucking happy Lou! You being my best man is like, it’s a dream come true!”  
  
Louis has to smile faintly at that. He really does look so happy, it makes Louis’s heart sing to look at him even though he’s hurting.  
  
“You do want to do it, right?” Harry asks, sobering a little. “You’re sure?”  
  
“Of course, kitten,” Louis says. “C’mere.” He opens his arms and Harry falls into him and holds him tightly.  
  
They’re both tactile people but they don’t actually, properly hug often. Certainly not like this. It lasts longer than a regular hug, and Louis gets lost in it, in Harry’s smell and his curls tickling Louis’s face and his body pressed against Louis’s. He’s never felt more at home in his life.  
  
“Thank you,” Harry says into Louis’s shoulder, and Louis squeezes him.  
  
“Anything for you, sunshine.”

* 

Harry tells everyone in the office that day. Whenever anyone comes up to his desk to ask about wedding updates, he happily tells them that Louis will be his best man. Almost everyone has congratulated Louis by the time Ben finds out.  
  
Ben’s eyes widen and his mouth drops immediately. “What – why – ”  
  
“Ben can I talk to you in your office for a minute,” Louis spits out, and all but drags Ben into his office and quickly closes the door.  
  
“I don’t get it,” Ben says. “Why would you ever agree to that?”  
  
“Because Harry’s my best friend, and he asked,” Louis says.  
  
“But you’re in love with him!” Ben cries. Louis looks back out into the cubicles, but nobody seems to have heard. “This is the worst idea ever! You’re just setting yourself up to get hurt!”  
  
Louis has no idea why Ben cares, really.  
  
“Maybe,” he shrugs. “But it’s fine. I’ll be fine. It’ll make Harry happy, so.”  
  
“It’s a terrible idea,” Ben says. “Mark my words. You’re going to be so miserable.”  
  
Louis wants to roll his eyes. Duh, Ben. “It doesn’t matter,” he says. “What does matter is that you don’t say anything to anyone about this. It’ll ruin the wedding, Ben, you don’t want that, do you?”  
  
“Of course I don’t!” Ben says, indignant. “I don’t know why you think I would say anything. I can keep a secret.”  
  
Yeah, okay. “Well, good,” Louis says. He pauses. “Thank you.”  
  
“You’re welcome,” Ben says, smiling. “This was a good chat. You know, Louis, anytime you need to have a good heart to heart, man to man, you know where to find me, yeah? My door’s always open.”  
  
“Okay, Ben,” Louis says, trying not to laugh in his face. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

* 

Ben almost blows it an hour later when he runs into Harry and Louis in the kitchen getting coffee.  
  
“Louis’s a much braver man than I am,” Ben says.  
  
Louis makes a face at him, trying to say ‘shut the fuck up’ with his eyes.  
  
“What’s so bad about being my best man,” Harry asks, a crease forming between his eyebrows.  
  
“Nothing,” Ben says quickly. “Nothing at all, I was joking.”  
  
“Oh,” Harry says. It says something about the quality of Ben's jokes that he seems to accept this.  
  
“Actually, I’m offended you didn’t ask me,” Ben says. “You should have. I thought I was your favourite.”  
  
“Um,” Harry says, and he looks to Louis for help. Louis just smiles at him. He’s on his own with this one.  
  
“I’d be an excellent best man,” Ben says. “Much better than Louis.”  
  
“Ahh, unfortunately I’m stuck with him,” Harry says, elbowing Louis with a cute little smile. “Gotta go, I think the phone’s ringing!”  
  
He escapes, and Ben turns to Louis. “You know, I could tell him I’ll fire him if he doesn’t make me his best man,” he says. “That’d get you off the hook.”  
  
Louis hates that he actually considers it. He’s pretty sure that allowing Ben to be the best man would count as actively sabotaging the wedding, and he’s promised himself he won’t do that.  
  
“It’s okay Ben,” he says. “I’ll be fine.”

* 

Ben absolutely blows it two hours later. Harry’s having lunch with Xavier, thank God, so he doesn’t hear, but half of the office is in the break room. Louis’s sitting with Perrie, Niall, Zayn, and Jade, and they’re all quizzing him about being the best man. Louis keeps telling them that he only agreed to it yesterday, he has no idea what the plans are.  
  
“You get to plan the stag do, though,” Jade says. “Any thoughts? How does Harry feel about strippers?”  
  
“It’s bad enough Louis has to watch Harry get married, now you want him to watch a heap of attractive men grind up on him?” Ben says from over by the microwave, and the break room falls silent.  
  
“What?” Perrie asks. “What the – what are you talking about Ben?”  
  
“Oh God,” Ben says. “I’m sorry Louis, I wasn’t thinking – ”  
  
“He was joking,” Louis interrupts, hoping that will work a second time.  
  
It doesn’t. Everyone’s gone from staring at Ben to staring at him, and Louis doesn’t know what his face is giving away, but Niall mutters, “oh, fuck,” and that’s pretty much when the penny drops for all of them.  
  
They all start talking at once, and Louis winces. “It’s not a big deal,” he says loudly.  
  
“Not a big deal?” Ben echoes. “Louis, you’re literally in love with the guy -- ”  
  
The girls gasp and Zayn winces. Niall looks shattered on Louis’s behalf. Fuck.  
  
“They didn’t know that part,” Ben says. “Goddamn it.”  
  
“I’m not,” Louis tries to argue. “It’s just a – a dumb crush, he’s exaggerating. I’m fine.”  
  
Nobody believes him, and they pepper him with sympathy for the rest of the lunch break. Louis goes back to his desk feeling incredibly anxious, and spends the afternoon on the receiving end of pitying faces from his coworkers. Liam, who wasn’t in the break room and apparently hasn’t heard, gets increasingly confused by it. Harry doesn’t seem to notice, but it’s only a matter of time.  
  
Before the end of the day, Louis emails Harry asking him to coffee after work. He says they need to talk and it’s urgent.  
  
It’s time to lie to Harry.

* 

Harry chatters about wedding plans on the way to the café. Louis isn’t listening, upset about the day he’s had, anxious about what he’s about to do and absolutely hating that he has to. He’s run over what he’s going to say about fifty times.  
  
“Okay,” Louis says once he and Harry are sat with their cups of tea; Yorkshire and chamomile respectively. “There’s something you need to know.”  
  
“That sounds ominous,” Harry says, clearly aiming for joking. It falls flat in the face of his concern.  
  
“It’s more annoying than anything,” Louis says, then sighs. “Okay. So there’s a bunch of rumours flying around the office at the moment.”  
  
“There is? I haven’t heard anything,” Harry frowns.  
  
Louis shrugs, but he's glad for that at least. “So the thing is, Ben told half the office at lunch that I’m in love with you.”  
  
Harry chuckles, clearly surprised. His smile drops when he sees that Louis isn’t laughing. “You’re not joking?”  
  
“No,” Louis says. “I don’t know where he got the idea from – I think, on the booze cruise, I was talking to him and we were both drunk and he must have misunderstood something I said. And now I can’t convince him otherwise, and everyone’s talking about it. I didn’t want you to hear and think it was the truth.”  
  
“Okay,” Harry says slowly, nodding. He looks conflicted; this might be the first time ever that Louis has had trouble reading him. He feels sick. “Right. Okay. So, let me get this straight – everyone thinks you’re in love with me, but you’re not?”  
  
There’s no inflection in his voice, nothing in his expression, no way for Louis to tell how he feels about this. It’s actually fucking weird, because usually Louis can read Harry like a book, but there’s no room in Louis’s brain to analyse it right now.  
  
“Exactly,” Louis says. “I mean, c’mon. If I was, why would I tell _Ben_?”  
  
Harry finally cracks a smile. “That would be pretty stupid,” he says.  
  
_You’re telling me_ , Louis thinks. He just widens his eyes and nods.  
  
“But why does Ben think you are?” Harry asks, and fuck. Louis had hoped he wouldn’t. “I mean, what on earth did you say to him?”  
  
“I mean, I was pretty drunk,” Louis says. “But I think I might’ve said that I used to have a crush on you.” Harry’s eyes widen. “I mean, years ago. When you started working here. Before I even knew about Xavier.” Harry’s not saying anything, just staring at him, and Louis can’t shut up. “Remember how long it took you to come out? So like, I thought you might be straight, but I had quite a crush on you, I s’pose. But then you came out, and I was happy for like a second,” Louis grins. “And then Xavier came out too.” He shrugs. “The crush pretty much died out after that.”  
  
“Right, okay,” Harry says, nodding. “That makes sense.”  
  
“It does?” Louis asks. He didn’t realise it was obvious.  
  
“Well, if you thought I was single, yeah,” Harry says. “Plus I think I picked up on a flirty vibe for a while there. Thought I was just being conceited, though.”  
  
“Yeah, of all things, you’re definitely conceited,” Louis says, rolling his eyes and laughing.  
  
“So that’s… hm. That’s like, almost a year, though,” Harry says, and he tips his head at Louis, considering. “That’s quite a long time.”  
  
Louis shrugs, trying to dismiss it. “You know how it is. Time flies as you get older, and all that. Didn’t feel like that long. Plus it’s been over for so long now, it’s literally irrelevant.” He shrugs again. “I wish I knew what made Ben think it was a current thing, but I don’t.”   
  
“So basically, I should ignore what anyone says about this,” Harry says.  
  
“Yup, it’s all bullshit,” Louis says.  
  
Harry nods, tapping at his lip. “Don’t you have a boyfriend anyway?”  
  
And after twenty minutes of lying to Harry, Louis doesn’t have it in him to keep it up. He sighs. “No, actually we broke up on the cruise.”  
  
“Oh.” A range of expressions flit across Harry’s face, too fast for Louis to catch them, until he looks sad. “I’m sorry,” he says. “What happened? Do you want to talk about it?”  
  
“I’m okay,” Louis says, mind whirring. “I guess Xavier’s little speech made Greg curious about when we were going to take the next step, and I’m, um, you know, a bit of a commitment-phobe – ” damn, another lie – “so that was that.”  
  
“That sucks,” Harry frowns, then his eyes widen. “Oh my God, I’ve been banging on about my wedding while you’ve been going through a break-up! I’m literally the worst friend! No wonder you didn’t want to be my best man!”  
  
“Hey, no,” Louis says, grabbing at Harry’s hands to stop him before he spirals. “You didn’t even know, I didn’t tell you, it’s not your fault! And I – I want to be your best man, okay. Greg has nothing to do with that. It doesn’t even matter, I promise I’m not even that upset over it. I’m fine.”  
  
“Okay,” Harry says, taking a deep breath. “Okay. If you’re sure?”  
  
“Definitely,” Louis says, and then wants to slap himself a moment later when he realises he just missed a perfect opportunity to get out of this whole thing. God fucking damn it.

* 

Turns out it doesn’t matter. The warehouse guys hear the office gossip the next day, and apparently that night Xavier goes off about it, because Harry comes into work the day after that and regretfully tells Louis he’s going to have to go with his sister instead.  
  
Harry’s all torn up over it, and he’s proper upset because Xavier doesn’t even want Louis in the wedding party, especially as “the whole thing’s based on bullshit anyway!” Louis comforts him as best he can, tells him he doesn’t mind and he’ll still be by Harry’s side up til the day of anyway, and that he doesn’t need Louis in the wedding party to have the most amazing wedding day. It’s easy to say, probably because Xavier’s just done Louis a massive favour. And he doesn’t even know.

 

***

 

Meredith is in the office today. Louis’s not quite sure why she’s here, but she calls a meeting for ten o’clock.  
  
“She told Ben he wasn’t allowed in,” Harry tells Louis as they’re getting water. “She made him give her a list of who he thinks are the top employees. I think it has something to do with feeling out who has career potential.”  
  
Louis rolls his eyes. He thought he’d well established by now that he doesn’t have career potential. “Wait, so not everyone was called into the meeting?”  
  
“No,” Harry says, shaking his head. “I didn’t get a good look at who Ben wrote down, but I think it’s only about half of us.”  
  
“Well, I’m glad he wrote you down,” Louis says, and he is. Partly because he won’t have to sit through this meeting by himself, and because Harry deserves recognition. Sometimes Louis thinks Harry’s the one holding this office together.  
  
In the meeting, Meredith asks them all to state their biggest strength, and their biggest dreams. Louis says his strength is his sense of humour, and his dream is to write songs for Beyoncé. Harry smiles and Meredith frowns, marking something off on the sheet of paper in front of her. Louis assumes that’s him out of the running for any sort of career advancement. Thank God.  
  
“Well, I don’t know,” Harry says when it’s his turn. “I think I’m quite good at photography. I suppose my dream would be, like, to be able to make a living out of that.”  
  
“He is really good,” Louis says, and Jade and Niall agree.  
  
Meredith livens up. “Well, actually,” she says. “The company is sponsoring an internship-based diploma in London. You can choose any field, including art, and you can earn a diploma paid for by the company.”  
  
“Um, I,” Harry looks around the table, his eyes swinging from Meredith to Louis. “I already have a job, is the thing? I can’t just leave to go to London, how would I support myself?”  
  
“I don’t think it would be so difficult,” Meredith says. “I could work something out, you could work from home part-time.” She seems really enthused about the idea. Louis is kind of with her; even if Harry won’t be around here for a while, it sounds like a great opportunity.  
  
“Well, I don’t know,” Harry says. “I mean, Xavier and I are trying to save for our wedding…”  
  
“It might never be a good time,” Meredith says. “That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.” She rummages through the folders in front of her. “I’m sure I have some… ah! Here we go.” She pulls out a handful of pamphlets. “Just have a look at them.”  
  
Harry takes them, still looking doubtful. By the end of the meeting he seems to have warmed up to the idea.  
  
“I’d get to live on campus for a reduced fee,” he tells Louis when the meeting is over. “It’s half internship, half classes, so I would actually be working at a company while I get the degree. It’s not a full degree either so it only takes six months. And the internship is paid! Not much, but if I could keep working here from home then I’d definitely be able to afford it.”  
  
He’s rocking on his feet by the time he finishes talking, positively brimming with excitement.  
  
“It sounds amazing,” Louis says. “Seriously, you should go for it. I think it’s an incredible idea.”  
  
He really means it, too, because yeah, it’d absolutely suck to have Harry gone – the fact that he’s usually the only thing making Louis’s workday bearable aside, Louis would miss him terribly. Louis misses Harry when he takes a day off sick. But it’s a good opportunity, and Louis knows Harry is destined for so much more than this place.  
  
Harry beams. “Thanks,” he says. “I’m actually pretty optimistic? I mean, if I could get in, I really think I could do it.”  
  
“Of course you could,” Louis says. “You’d be amazing at it, sunshine, trust me.”  
  
Harry’s smile only brightens. He looks down at the pamphlets again. “I suppose I just have to convince Xavier.”  
  
“He should understand,” Louis says. “I mean, it’s your dream. And it’s totally doable.”  
  
“Yeah,” Harry says. His smile’s dimmed a bit. “Well, we’ll see.”

* 

Harry leaves for lunch with Xavier; he told Louis he wants to go somewhere private so they can talk about the idea. Louis has lunch with Perrie, Jade and Niall again, which is fine. He likes them fine. They’re just not Harry.  
  
Harry comes back upstairs when Louis’s sitting at his desk. He takes off his coat and hangs it up, and his shoulders are slumped and his head’s down. Shit.  
  
Louis makes a beeline for reception. “Hey, sunshine, how did it go?”  
  
Harry sighs, sitting in his chair. “Not well,” he says. “And, I mean, he’s right. It’s really not a good time. Maybe after we’re married and everything’s settled down.”  
  
“Oh, come on, Harry,” Louis says, unable to keep it in.  
  
“He’s right, there’s no guarantee it’ll lead to anything anyway,” Harry says. “Some dreams are just supposed to stay dreams. It’s, like, a nice thing to get me through the day, but it’s not reality.”  
  
“Wow,” Louis says, shaking his head. “Wow, that’s fucking depressing. So you’re going to work here for the rest of your life? You’re never going to even try for anything else? That’s realistic to you?”  
  
Harry blinks. He looks a bit shocked. “I’m sorry, what?”  
  
“You’ve got to take a chance at some point, Harry,” Louis says. He feels like he’s talking about two different things at once, maybe, but he’s had enough. He can’t stand to see Harry holding himself back, especially when it’s because fucking Xavier told him to.  
  
“ _Okay_ ,” Harry says, rolling his eyes. “You were the one who told me I wasn’t standing still, d’you remember that? But now, because you don’t approve – which, by the way, what makes you think you can judge my choices? The choices I’m perfectly happy with?”  
  
“Are you really?” Louis asks. “You’re perfectly happy with your life right now? You don’t think you’re capable of anything more?”  
  
Harry purses his lips and clenches his fists. He looks angry and upset, and Louis hates that they’re having this conversation, but fuck, he feels like it needed to be said.  
  
“I think you need to leave me alone,” Harry says finally.  
  
Louis sighs. “Yeah, okay,” he says, and goes back to his desk. It doesn’t escape his attention that Harry didn’t actually answer his question.

* 

It sucks, having Harry upset with him. Louis doesn’t think he ever really has been before. The only thing that comes close is that day Ben fought Liam and things were weird between them. Louis decides to try to fix it the same way he did then.  
  
He goes to the vending machine and buys a packet of salt and vinegar crisps, Harry’s favourite. Then he writes on a post-it note, _I’m sorry for being judgey. It’s just that I think you deserve the world. But if you’re happy I’m happy_. He sticks the post-it to the crisps, and goes back out and places the packet on Harry’s desk.  
  
As he’s walking away, he hears a soft, “Thanks, Lou.”  
  
When he looks back, Harry’s smiling at him, kind of sadly. Louis makes a face back and Harry looks happier. It’s okay.  
  
Later that day, Ben accidentally tells everyone that he’s been dating Meredith. His boss. Which isn't actually much of a surprise, given the amount of visits she makes to this office - there's almost two hours between here and Sheffield, Louis's always been bewildered by the frequency of her visits. But it's amazing and horrifying as well, because it's _Meredith_ and _Ben_ , and so it overshadows everything else, and Louis and Harry clearly need to talk about it. By the end of the day Louis feels like things are pretty good between them.

 

***

  
Right around Harry’s birthday, he and Xavier go on holiday. Harry does this every year; he tries to save up his vacation days and he never makes it past his birthday. Even this year, when he should be saving them for his honeymoon.  
  
Zayn’s taken up Harry’s place in reception this week, and Louis keeps accidentally looking at him. Like, a lot. Zayn’s definitely noticed, he keeps giving Louis these weird looks. Louis wants to email him and say it’s not about him, it’s that he’s used to looking at Harry, but the chatter about Louis’s feelings for Harry has definitely died down. He doesn’t want it to start back up again. He’s okay with Zayn just thinking he’s weird.  
  
Besides, it’s nothing compared to the way Ben’s staring at Zayn. He keeps standing beside the window of his office and staring through the blinds. It’s fucking creepy.  
  
Anyway. That’s not the only thing that’s different. Without Harry, Louis’s days are just dull. Even pranking Liam is almost no fun at all without Harry as his partner in crime. Louis is probably more productive when Harry’s gone than he ever is, but he’s also more bored. He misses Harry like crazy, and he just feels… left behind. It’s stupid, because Harry’s just on holiday, he knows that, but it’s a feeling he’s had ever since the booze cruise. Like they’re drifting apart, like everything is changing.  
  
Or maybe Louis has just had a wake-up call. Xavier is the most important person in Harry’s life, and he always will be.

 

***

 

So Valentine’s Day is loads of fun when the boy you’re in love with is engaged to someone else.  
  
Harry looks so good today as well. He’s wearing a white shirt patterned with little pink hearts, and it looks amazing on him. He’s also got his hair in a bun, tied with a pink bow, like he had for Christmas. Louis thinks that’s his new festive tradition, and it’s very cute.  
  
The silver lining is that Jesy’s just moved in with her boyfriend, and he’s apparently celebrating by sending her increasingly ridiculous bouquets. Add to that the random deliveries for other people in relationships and it’s almost enough to drown out Louis’s fixation on Harry.  
  
Harry had told him this morning that he and Xavier promised no gifts for each other, since they’re saving for the wedding and they just spent money on a holiday. He said he doesn’t need flowers or chocolate when he has a ring, and the dagger in Louis’s heart twisted just a bit. Harry said he’d still gotten Xavier something anyway, just a small something, so Louis’s pretty sure Xavier will get him something too. Because, like, who wouldn’t? If Harry was Louis’s fiancé, regardless of if they were saving or how broke they were, there’s absolutely no way he wouldn’t get Harry something for Valentine’s. Even if he had to make it himself.  
  
The door opens again and in comes a delivery man with the largest bouquet yet. Harry signs for it and calls for Jesy, looking supremely displeased. Jesy takes it back to her desk and when she sits down, she pretty much disappears behind all the flowers.  
  
Louis looks back at Harry to catch him watching Jesy too, a sad frown on his face. No matter what he says, this is the first Valentine’s in three years that he hasn’t gotten flowers delivered. It’s got to feel a bit shit, regardless of knowing they’re saving, which is exactly why if Louis was Xavier he’d have something planned.  
  
Xavier probably has something planned.

*  
  
There’s a box on Liam’s desk and Louis didn’t put it there.  
  
Louis has been sitting, watching it, waiting for Liam to come back from the loos. It was delivered, Harry said, so he doesn’t know where it came from either.  
  
“What’s this?” Liam says, startling Louis. He was so focused on the box he didn’t notice Liam coming back.  
  
“I don’t know,” says Louis. “It’s for you.”  
  
“Very funny Louis,” Liam says. “What a well thought out prank. I’m definitely going to open it.”  
  
“I didn’t put it there,” Louis says. “Look, it was delivered.”  
  
“You could’ve easily had something delivered that would spring open in my face,” Liam says.  
  
Louis rolls his eyes. “I’ll open it then, give it here.”  
  
“No, it’s mine,” says Liam, predictably. If Louis had orchestrated this, it’d be going perfectly to plan. Liam is so easy.  
  
Liam picks up his scissors and carefully cuts the tape on the box, then leans back as far as he can as he slowly opens it. Nothing springs out, because Louis had nothing to do with whatever this is. There’s another box inside, and Liam pulls it out, and… it’s an action figure of some sort.  
  
“Oh my God,” says Liam. His whole face lights up. “It’s me!” He turns it so Louis can see.  
  
It is indeed Liam. An action figure version of Liam, with an oversized head that Louis thinks is appropriate.  
  
“Wow,” Louis says. “That is the nerdiest thing I have ever seen.”  
  
“Shut up, you’re just jealous,” Liam says, taking it out of the box and making a place for it amongst the other figurines on his desk.  
  
He’s not wrong. Louis is quite the nerd himself, and it is a tiny bit cool. Louis’s not super into figurines the way Liam is, though.  
  
“Oh, there’s a note,” Liam says, pulling it out. He reads aloud, “‘Happy Valentine’s Day.’”  
  
“That’s it?” Louis asks, but Liam’s got a goofy smile on his face. He clearly knows who it’s from.  
  
Wait. What the fuck? Does Liam have a secret girlfriend? Whaaaaat?  
  
Louis feels like his mind’s literally been blown. It's the perfect distraction; Louis can't think about his own heartbreak when something so impossible has happened.

*

Xavier comes in mid-afternoon, after Harry’s gotten progressively more upset with each delivery for Jesy. Louis can hear their conversation from his desk.  
  
Xavier says, “Hey, what’s up?”  
  
Harry says, “Nothing. It’s just been a hard day. I’ve had to sit and watch Jesy have an entire flower shop delivered to her.”  
  
Xavier says, “Wait, are you upset with me? Because we said no presents, yeah?”  
  
Harry says, “I know, I just… I don’t know, I thought maybe something little…”  
  
Xavier says, “Oh. Like the flowers you got me. Which I loved, by the way.”  
  
Harry says, “That’s good. I’m glad.”  
  
Xavier says, “Well, hey, the day’s not over yet. Just wait til we get home. You are gonna get the best sex of your life.”  
  
Louis drops his hands onto his keyboard and accidentally types a load of gibberish. He erases it, and wishes he could erase things from his brain as easily. Holy shit.  
  
He can’t help looking over as Xavier leaves. Harry looks both appalled and disappointed.  
  
Fuck. Louis has to do something.

* 

He tells Ben he’s got a meeting with a client, and then walks down to the small shop just down the street from their building. It’s the closest shop that would sell anything even slightly appropriate for Valentine’s Day, so it’s really all he has to choose from.  
  
But it’s tough, because everything is covered with hearts. Although he’s doing this to cheer Harry up, he thinks it would be completely pathetic to get him anything with hearts on it.  
  
Louis spends a good ten minutes hunting through the stuffed toys, and then finally he finds it. A rainbow stuffed bear. It’s perfect. It’s cute, and it’s almost like the bears in the window holding hearts, but it doesn’t scream Valentine’s Day. And it’s rainbow. Harry loves rainbows.  
  
He also finds some cute little bear-sized sunglasses, so he gets them as well. Then he races back to the office.  
  
“That was quick,” Liam says.  
  
“They had to reschedule,” Louis says.  
  
Then he waits for Harry to go to the loo or the kitchen. It takes a good hour or so, but finally he leaves his desk, and Louis quickly gets up and sits the bear in front of Harry’s keyboard. Then he goes back to his seat and pretends to focus on his work.  
  
When Harry gets back to his desk, his mouth drops open and he lets out a little, “Oh.” He looks thrilled, though, and he looks up at Louis with a questioning look. Louis just smiles back. Harry beckons him over, and Louis laughs and gets up.  
  
“Hey,” Louis says. “D’you like him?”  
  
“I love him,” Harry says, looking down at the bear and then back up. “Thank you, Louis.” He’s so heartfelt about it, like Louis’s gotten him something extravagant instead of a ten quid stuffed bear.  
  
Louis bites down his smile. “Well, there’s a catch,” he says. “You have to name him.”  
  
Harry laughs. “Of course,” he says, then he studies the bear. “How about Teddy Mercury?”  
  
Louis almost chokes on his laugh. “That’s perfect.”

 

***

 

After February, every moment of Harry’s day when he’s not actually working seems to be taken up with wedding plans. He says he’s working on it at home too, but there just aren’t enough hours in the day. Louis just thinks it’s rather sad that Xavier apparently isn’t involved. If it were his wedding, Louis would want to do all the planning and the work together.  
  
Harry’s recruited Niall, Lou, and Jade, and they meet up in the conference room whenever they can to do menial work. Right now they’re sealing envelopes. Harry had asked Louis if he wanted to help, and Louis had felt bad turning him down, but it’s bad enough that he has to hear about it. He said he’s too swamped with work.  
  
Louis’s honestly starting to get a bit sick of it. Whenever he hears wedding talk, his mind starts chanting _I want to get out of here I want to get out of here_. He really doesn’t know how he’s going to survive the actual wedding.  
  
And then it hits him. If he wants to get out so badly, why doesn’t he just do it? Go on a holiday. He’s got the vacation days for it. There’s nothing stopping him aside from the guilt he’d feel at blowing off the biggest day of Harry’s life.  
  
But he’s got to put himself first sometime, he decides. He brings up TripAdvisor and starts to look around. 

*

Louis can’t decide where he wants to go. He probably can’t afford to go outside of Europe, but that still leaves so many options.  
  
Ben interrupts his search by calling a meeting to help Liam with his public speaking. Liam was the top-selling salesman in the company this year, like he is every year, and he’s being honoured at a convention tomorrow. He has to give a speech, and apparently Ben thinks he needs their help.  
  
“We’re going to go around and I want everyone to make a speech,” Ben says. “I don’t care if you’re shy or anxious or whatever other pathetic excuse you have. I’m going to make it a requirement that you all learn how to do public speaking.”  
  
Louis thinks that’s ridiculous, but then Ben asks Harry if he wants to go first, and says he can talk about his wedding.  
  
“Actually, I have something,” Louis says, standing up. Ben nods for him to continue. “I’m going on holiday! I have the money for it and I haven’t had a proper holiday in ages. I just haven’t figured out where yet. I know it’ll be in Europe, that’s it. So. Any suggestions?”  
  
Zayn stands up. “You should go to Amsterdam, bro,” he says. Louis makes a considering face; he hadn’t even thought of that. “Seriously. Amsterdam. You’d love it.”  
  
Oli stands up as well. “Nah, go to Ibiza, remember how much fun we had the last time? Definitely do that.”  
  
Louis considers that as well, but dismisses it. He’s done Ibiza, he wants to go somewhere he’s never gone before.  
  
“I love France,” says Jade.  
  
“No, no, you have to stand up, it doesn’t count if you’re not standing,” Ben says.  
  
Jade rolls her eyes and stands. “I love France,” she says. “Or Italy. Those would be my recommendations.”  
  
Ooh. France seems too romantic to do by himself; he thinks he’d feel too lonely, especially knowing that Harry was back home getting married. But Italy…  
  
“What did you like about Italy?” he asks.  
  
“Venice,” Jade says instantly. “And Rome. Pasta, pizza, art. The Colosseum, the Vatican. Florence. It’s honestly just such a beautiful place and there’s so, so much history there. I loved it.”  
  
Louis nods. That does sound incredible, the more he thinks about it.  
  
“Greece is good for history too,” Jade adds. “And Berlin is beautiful, I’d suggest Germany too. Barcelona’s gorgeous, and I loved Prague.”  
  
“Alright, Jade, you’re not helping,” Ben says. “He didn’t ask you to list everywhere you went on your gap year.”  
  
Jade glowers and sits down. Louis makes a mental note to talk to her later.  
  
Niall stands up. “Go to Ireland,” he says, predictably. “Nowhere else compares.”  
  
Louis smiles. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he says. “Alright, thanks everyone. A lot to think about.”  
  
He sits back down and zones out as Ben makes other people talk. He’s thinking about Italy. Because Amsterdam would be amazing, but not alone, and France would be amazing, but not alone. He’d love to go to the other places too, but really – the main draw is Venice. He’s always wanted to go there. And he does love pasta and pizza.

* 

He spends the rest of the day talking to Jade about her trips around Europe and searching the internet for travel guides to Italy. He definitely wants to do this. By four PM, he’s booked his flights and his accommodation, and he gets up and goes to talk to Harry about it.  
  
“So, I booked my holiday,” Louis says. Harry looks up, his face lighting up.  
  
“Really? Where are you going?” he asks.  
  
“Italy,” Louis says.  
  
“Oh, that’s amazing,” says Harry. “I’d love to go to Venice. Shit, I need to start planning my honeymoon, don’t I?”  
  
Louis can’t help a tiny laugh. “Uh, yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”  
  
“Fuck,” Harry says, then he smiles up at Louis again. “When are you going? For how long?”  
  
“I think I’m gonna go for a month, actually,” Louis says. “I have enough days saved up and I talked to Ben, he said it’s okay.”  
  
“Oh, wow,” Harry says. “That’s ages.”  
  
“I guess that’s the benefit to saving your vacation days and not blowing them in February,” Louis teases.  
  
“Heyyyy,” says Harry with a cute little frown. Louis makes a face at him and he smiles. “So, you didn’t say. When are you going?”  
  
“Well, that’s the thing,” Louis says. “I wanted to go before the peak period, before summer really hits, so I could get the best deals… So I’m leaving on the first of May.”  
  
Harry’s face drops. “Oh.”  
  
“I’m really sorry,” he says. “I want to be there, I do. But it’d cost so much more to go any later, and I can’t go earlier because of different birthdays and things… I’m sorry.”  
  
“It’s okay,” Harry says, nodding and looking like he’s trying to convince himself. “Yeah, it’s fine, that makes sense. I get it.”  
  
“I’m sorry, Harry,” Louis says again, because he doesn’t know what else to say. He knows Harry’s disappointed.  
  
“No, it’s okay,” Harry says, forcing a smile. “You’ll have the best time, I don’t want you to feel guilty.”  
  
God, he’s an actual fucking saint. Louis feels like the worst friend ever, but he knows this is for the best. He needs to do this.

 

***

 

Occasionally Ed has presentations from Corporate that he's required to give, and every time, Ben makes it as difficult for him as possible. Today's presentation is on Business Ethics, and after Ben interrupts him about five times, Ed's finally managed to explain that Corporate are trying to crack down on time theft.  
  
"Can anybody think of an example of stealing company time?" Ed asks. "Maybe you've done it, or you've seen it done?"  
  
Louis smiles. That's a clear dig at Ben.  
  
"I never have," says Liam. "I'm not a thief."  
  
"You are a thief of happiness," Ben says. "There's nothing wrong with taking time for yourself during the day. It's called a work-life balance."  
  
"Actually it's called time theft, like I said," Ed says. "Corporate would like to stress that while you're on company time, you try your hardest to be professional always."  
  
That... sounds like an impossible task in this place. Louis knows that he himself is guilty of time theft as much as anyone, although he justifies it to himself through the company's caps on commission. If he's already met his sales quotas, he doesn't see why he should work hard when it's not benefitting him.  
  
Liam makes a smug speech about how he never wastes company time, and well. Louis met his monthly sales quota two days ago, so he's found his work for the day.

*

He opens the stopwatch on his phone, and starts by timing Liam when he yawns or sneezes.  
  
"What are you doing?" Liam asks after the third time Louis's announced his time.  
  
Louis holds up his phone, the stopwatch running. "You said you don't steal company time," Louis says. "I'm just making sure you're right."  
  
"That's ridiculous," Liam says. "And actually, that sounds like time theft in itself."  
  
"I don't see how that's possible, since I'm monitoring your work," Louis says.  
  
"Timing my yawns does not benefit the company," Liam says.  
  
"We'll let Ben be the judge of that," Louis says. "Nineteen seconds, personal conversation."  
  
Liam opens his mouth to complain, then sees Louis about to hit the stopwatch again and shuts it, turning back to his work. Louis grins.

*

"Hey James," Louis says, sitting in Jesy's empty chair so that he's opposite James and directly behind Liam. "Have you been watching Supergirl?"  
  
"No, I haven't," says James. "Is that any good?"  
  
"Oh, it's great," Louis says. "Basically everyone in it's gay, and they've done this fusion with Batman, so Batgirl and Harley Quinn are in it."  
  
Liam turns around to correct him and Louis holds up the stopwatch app. He turns back to his computer.  
  
"Sounds cool," James says. "Is it close to the comics? I've always wondered, with those shows."  
  
"You know what, it's pretty much word-for-word the same," Louis says. Liam's chair twitches towards him, then twitches back. "Last week Spiderman showed up with The Hulk and they helped Supergirl fight off a coven of witches."  
  
"That... doesn't sound right," says James.  
  
Liam starts tugging on his hair with his left hand while he keeps typing with his right. Louis's impressed.

*

Liam doesn't leave his desk all day. He doesn't stop working for a second. Not for water, food, the loo, nothing.   
  
Then his phone chimes with a text, and he gets up and walks out of the office. And he's gone for twenty-seven minutes. What the fuck.  
  
"What could you possibly have been doing for twenty-seven minutes?" Louis asks. "Was it more important than food or water?"  
  
Liam smirks. "Yes," he says. What?  
  
"Are you going to tell me what it was?"  
  
"No," says Liam. "It was personal."  
  
"Well then," Louis says, smug despite his confusion. "I guess you are a bit of a time thief after all."  
  
"I guess I am," Liam says, still smirking.  
  
Louis is unnerved, and because he's had such a productive day, he decides to let himself go home early.

 

***

 

It’s the last Friday of April, and Louis's last day at work before his holiday, and there’s a Casino Night in the warehouse. It’s officially organised by Syco Software, but everyone in their building is involved, and it's great timing, almost feels like a send off. Louis’s not much for gambling, but it’s pretty cool, how the warehouse is completely transformed. Ben was pretty adamant about making it look as much like Vegas as possible.  
  
And everyone’s dressed up, which is fun. Louis feels like he’s stepped into a hybrid between Oceans Eleven and a classic fifties film. All the girls are wearing classy dresses, and all the guys are wearing black or white tuxedos, except Harry, of course; he’s wearing a fitted black and white floral-printed suit. He looks fucking incredible, as always, and he's getting married in a few weeks.  
  
Louis feels like his heart breaks every single time he looks at him.

*

Louis goes outside with Zayn to have a smoke and ends up having a bit of an existential crisis.  
  
It’s just actually sinking in. Louis is leaving in a few days and when he comes back, Harry will be married. _Harry will be married_. Maybe he’s had one too many rum and cokes, but this is starting to feel like his last chance to do anything about his feelings. Like, even if he’s not actually at the ceremony when they say the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ part, he’s still going to have to, isn’t he? After his holiday, he’ll have to come back to a married Harry and never be able to mention his feelings. Ever.  
  
It’s actually starting to feel like Harry knowing about his feelings is the less miserable option. Which is saying something considering that covering them up has always been Louis’s only operative.  
  
He leaves Zayn and paces around the building for a few minutes. He wants to do it, wants to find Harry and spill his guts, but there’s something holding him back. The same fear that’s held him back for the last five or so years. The same steadfast certainty that Harry will choose his loser fiancé over Louis.  
  
It’s three weeks before the wedding. If Harry hasn’t broken it off now, he probably won’t.  
  
Louis doesn’t quite believe in the universe giving signs, but when Harry wanders across the parking lot to join him, it sort of feels like one.  
  
“Hey,” Harry says. “Xavier just left.”  
  
And that definitely feels like a sign. Okay.  
  
“So, um,” Louis says, and then he stops. He doesn’t know how to say it, if he should just spit it at once. It feels like something he should break to Harry gently.  
  
“Are you okay?” Harry asks, stepping even closer. He looks concerned.  
  
“Yeah, um,” Louis says. “Kinda? Not really, I guess.”  
  
“What’s wrong?” Harry asks. “I know – like, I know things have been kinda weird between us lately. But I promise you can tell me anything.”  
  
Ha. Yeah, okay. “Well, that’s kind of, um, the thing,” Louis takes a deep breath. “I wanted to, um, apologise. I never gave you a good reason for why I won’t be at your wedding.”  
  
“I thought you said it was the only time you could get a good deal,” Harry says, frowning.  
  
“Right, yeah, um,” Louis says. “Well, sort of, but it also had to do with… You remember how Ben told everyone that I had, like, a crush on you?”  
  
The confusion and concern clear off Harry’s face and his eyes widen. Louis can’t read him, all of a sudden, for the second time ever. He pushes on anyway, because he’s starting to feel like he needs to say this.  
  
“I mean, that wasn’t even the whole truth,” Louis says, then takes another deep breath. “’Cause the thing is that, um. I’m actually in love with you.”  
  
“What,” Harry whispers. Louis thinks he looks kind of devastated, but he’s not sure.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I wasn’t going to ever tell you, but – I don’t know, I’m leaving and you’re getting married and I felt like I had to do something. Even if I know it won’t matter.”  
  
“Lou,” Harry says, and yeah. He’s upset.  
  
“I just needed you to know,” Louis says, desperate to explain. “Somehow I couldn’t stand the thought of you getting married without having all the – all the facts. At least now you can make an informed decision, yeah?” He tries to chuckle, but it comes out kind of strangled. The thing is he knows this is going to end badly. He’s known it all along and the quiet devastation on Harry’s face is confirming it.  
  
Harry opens his mouth and then shuts it. He takes a shaky breath in and looks at Louis with watery eyes. “I don’t know what to say,” he says.  
  
“You don’t have to say anything,” Louis says. “God, I don’t want – I don’t want to make everything weird. And the last thing I want to do is lose you. Your friendship is so important to me.”  
  
“You’re important to me too,” Harry says softly. A breeze passes by and whips his curls around, and Louis is struck again by how lovely he looks tonight.  
  
“I just needed you to know that I think you’re beautiful always, completely,” Louis says. “That being around you is the only thing that gets me through the day. That I don’t want anything in the world as much as I want to be with you. And that I think… I think you deserve better than Xavier, even if it isn’t me.”  
  
Harry’s quiet for what feels like forever. “But we're getting married,” he says finally. “I – I love him.”  
  
Louis wants to push it, wants to say _do you? Are you really happy with him? Do you really think this is the best you can do?_ But he feels like he’s pushed it enough.  
  
“Yeah,” he says, feeling deflated. “I know.”  
  
“You’re my best friend,” Harry says, kind of desperately. “Not just my best work friend. You’re my _best friend_. And I can’t – I don’t, I can’t _do_ this.”  
  
Louis wants to cry. A tear might’ve escaped already. He feels like his heart is in his throat. “I know, Curly. You’re my best friend too. I’m sorry I can’t be at your wedding, yeah? I hope you have the best day, that it’s everything you deserve and more, but I – ” Louis shuts his eyes briefly and tries not to cry. “I can’t do this either, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I brought it up. I’ve gotta go.”  
  
And then he strides away before the tears start rolling down his face, ignoring Harry calling his name. As soon as he’s alone, hidden away in the office stairwell, he curls up into a ball and sobs into his knees.

*

After he’s had a good long cry, Louis makes his way up to the office. He doesn’t want to be around anybody else, he wants to go home, but he’d left his jacket and bag at his desk.  
  
Except as soon as he walks in, he sees Harry. He almost turns around and walks back out, but Harry’s leaning against Louis’s desk. That feels kind of significant.  
  
“Hi,” Louis says softly. Harry looks up. “Want me to go?”  
  
“No,” Harry says, so Louis comes closer. When he’s within arm’s reach he can see the redness of Harry’s eyes, and he hates, _hates_ that he’s made Harry cry.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Louis says, feeling kind of helpless.  
  
“Don’t,” Harry says. “Don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry for.”  
  
Louis doesn’t know what to say to that without arguing or apologising again.  
  
“I was kinda waiting for you, knew you left your bag here,” Harry says. “I didn’t want to leave things between us like that.”  
  
“Okay,” Louis says, not really following. He doesn’t want to let himself hope. “Did you have something else you wanted to say?”  
  
Harry tips his head back and forth. “Not quite,” he says, and steps closer. Louis’s heart leaps and Harry gently touches Louis’s jaw, tilting his head up. Sparks run under his fingertips. “I just. I have to.” Harry says, and he leans in and kisses Louis.  
  
Kissing Harry is everything Louis has ever wanted and better than anything he ever imagined. It may as well be his first kiss ever, because it makes everyone else Louis’s ever kissed irrelevant. Harry’s tongue slides against his and Louis feels electric and bright, like shards of light have come alive in his chest and everywhere he’s touching Harry.  
  
It’s devastating at the same time, because once it’s over, if Harry says anything but that he wants to be with Louis too, then Louis will have to go back to a life without kissing Harry. How can he do that when he knows what this feels like?  
  
He decides to make the most of it, and crowds Harry back until he bumps into Louis’s desk. Louis runs his hands up Harry’s back to rest in Harry’s hair, and he tugs on it just a bit. Harry groans into his mouth and presses closer, kissing him deeper.  
  
Suddenly there’s a crash and it’s like waking up from a coma. Louis is completely disoriented; it takes him a moment to register that the room is still dark – it feels like it should’ve exploded with light, the way Louis’s chest has – and it takes him even longer to realise they’ve knocked his in/out tray off his desk.  
  
Louis backs up and goes around his desk to pick up the trays and the loose paper that fell. He dumps it all on his desk, not bothering to sort it, and then looks at Harry. Harry’s adjusting his hair and, in the dim light, he looks nervous.  
  
“I shouldn’t have done that,” he says, and Louis’s heart plummets.  
  
“Don’t,” he says. “I mean, I know, but don’t say it, alright?”  
  
Harry bites his swollen lip and furrows his brow, which is not fair. He looks extremely cute.  
  
“Just, it’s bad enough knowing I can never do that again,” Louis says. “I can’t hear you say it too. I’m just, I’ll go, I’ll go to Italy and you can marry Xavier and that’s it. We’ll still be friends and we’ll forget this whole thing.”  
  
Harry doesn’t say anything, so Louis takes that as agreement. He picks up his jacket and bag, and then he turns and leaves, and Harry doesn’t call him back. Louis goes home and cries himself to sleep, still tasting Harry and feeling the ghost of his lips.

*

Harry texts him the next day, the day before Louis is meant to leave. _I’m sorry. I was drunk_ , is all it says. No signature kisses or anything. Louis doesn’t even think he was that drunk.  
  
Stan suggests a few cones to take his mind off it, and later, like some other sign from the universe – two in as many days! Maybe Louis will start to believe in that sort of thing – he gets a text from Greg.  
  
He’s very stoned by that point, so it seems like a good idea when he asks Greg if he’d like to have Louis crash at his place for a few weeks. Greg happily agrees, so Louis cancels his trip.

 

*****


	3. Happier

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> towards the end of this chapter, a lot of songs are mentioned. i've put them in a playlist that you can listen to [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/ificouldflyhomehl/playlist/2PULE3GXCohtt8KdBaCWuh). (i still can't believe this fic has two playlists fdjfhjshk)

**2016 - 2017.**

_ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you  
_ _but ain’t nobody need you like I do  
_ _I know that there’s others that deserve you  
_ _but my darling I am still in love with you_

 

Being at work without Louis is weird. He’s been on holiday before, of course, but never for this long. And never when Harry was so desperate to see him, he doesn’t think.  
  
And he didn’t even end up going on proper holiday. Harry knows because last week Louis checked into a bar in Leeds on Facebook. He was confused as to why Louis was in Leeds when he was supposed to be in Italy, and then he saw who he was tagged with. Greg James. Right.  
  
It sucks, basically. Harry called off his wedding because he couldn’t stop thinking about Louis, about everything he said and the feelings Harry’s tried to ignore for, god, years now. And he knows Louis knows, because it’s been all over Facebook. Part of Harry kind of expected, or at least hoped, that Louis would come home and they could straighten everything out. Harry could tell him everything he’s been squashing down.  
  
But Louis stayed in Leeds. Hasn’t reached out once. And maybe the ball’s in Harry’s court, maybe he should actually let Louis officially know that he’s single and he’s ready. But Harry’s scared, he’s not good at taking the initiative in romantic relationships – case in point, he stayed with the same guy for five years out of convenience and misplaced nostalgia. Just – it just feels like Louis is mad at him, like he’s giving him the cold shoulder or something.  
  
Harry feels fucking awful. Even Steve and Bucky, his beautiful fish that he loves completely, just make him sad now, because they remind him of Louis. And the whole office won’t stop giving him pitying looks, as if they even know what’s really happened, and everyone in the warehouse hates him. Zayn’s sitting at Louis’s desk now and Harry keeps staring at him accidentally which is clearly freaking Zayn out. Everything’s a nightmare and Harry just needs Louis here more than ever.

 

***

 

Harry feels like all he ever does is beat himself up. He’s got this perpetual cloud of guilt and regret hanging over him; it’s like he’s lost his best friend and his fiancé and replaced them with self-loathing.  
  
He mostly just hates how deep in denial he’d been. God, he’s pretty sure he’s had feelings for Louis for forever, but he repressed them because it was easy. It was easy to stay with Xavier, rather than take a risk. He really didn’t think Louis liked him back, which is why he was so confused on Casino Night, and why he ignored his own feelings. Better to stay with the fiancé who loved him than take a chance with someone who probably didn’t.  
  
If he's honest, Harry’s pretty sure he was so on board with the wedding plans after Xavier finally chose a date because he was trying to convince himself. Like if he acted like that was what he wanted, he eventually would want it. All it did was make him miserable; he focused on wedding planning to distract himself from how bad he was feeling.  
  
And if he hadn’t known before he called off the wedding that he’d fallen out of love with Xavier, the way he’d felt afterward would’ve tipped him off. He’d hated hurting Xavier, definitely, but that was about the extent of the pain he felt at the break-up. Even now, if he misses Xavier, it’s mostly just nostalgia and missing the feeling of being in a committed relationship.  
  
He’s not even sure if he was ever properly, really, truly in love with Xavier at all. He’s not sure Xavier was in love with him. If he was, and what he gave Harry was the extent of the love he was capable of giving a person, then Harry feels even sadder for him. But Harry’s sure there’s someone out there who will fit with Xavier better, who Xavier will shine with.  
  
Harry has let himself accept that Louis is that person for him. He thinks he’s known it on some level for the longest time, but he never let himself think about it. Always told himself Louis was his best friend, and he was in love with Xavier, and that was that. But Louis’s confession on Casino Night – and that _kiss_ – broke through the wall Harry had put up. It took a few days for him to actually puzzle it out, but being with Xavier after kissing Louis, after knowing that Louis was a possibility, just felt utterly and completely wrong.  
  
It’s kind of hard to mourn a relationship that so thoroughly pales in comparison to what he could have with Louis.

 

***

 

The office is boring now. So, so boring. Honestly it’s kind of a relief when Harry’s asked to sit in and take notes on a meeting between Ben and Leigh Anne and it turns into a fight over who should be the head of accounting.  
  
“There’s no reason for Oli to have that position,” Leigh Anne argues. “I’ve thought so for ages, but I wanted to wait until I had enough evidence.” She lays out a stack of paper on the conference room table. “This is a catalogue of my work versus his. You can see how I’m more efficient.”  
  
“What it comes down to,” Ben says, barely glancing at the papers in front of him, “is leadership. And innate qualities. And I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be offensive, but men are just better with maths and numbers. I have to believe Oli is our best accountant.”  
  
Leigh Anne sits back, seemingly stunned into silence. Harry’s mouth has dropped open. He can’t believe Ben actually just said that.  
  
“Maybe we should call Ed in here,” Harry suggests after a moment of silence.  
  
“Ugh, no,” Ben says.  
  
“Yes,” says Leigh. “I want to make a formal complaint.”  
  
What follows is a dispute that lasts the whole day between Leigh Anne, Ben, Oli and Ed. Ben keeps insisting that men are better at maths, until Ed says that if Leigh Anne took this to Corporate she’d definitely have a discrimination case against him. That shuts Ben up and makes him at least look at the evidence she’d put together, and then he’s forced to admit she’s better suited.  
  
Harry likes her much more than Oli, and definitely thinks she deserves to be Head of Accounting, so he’s quite pleased when Ben awards her with the position at the end of the day.

 

***

 

Harry doesn’t know what to do with all of his free time now. He feels like he’s bored at the office without Louis, and he’s bored at home without Xavier; although he thinks the issue is also that he’s spent the last four months in a haze of wedding planning, with something to do every minute. To go from that to nothing is jarring.  
  
He doesn’t miss Xavier. But he needs something to fill in his time. That’s why he signs up for art and photography classes at a local studio, every Tuesday and Thursday night after work. It’s not much, but he thinks it’ll make him spend his other nights creating things as well. He’s going to be studying photography, which is his strong suit, and drawing, which isn’t. He’s excited about trying to develop some new skills. And meeting new people. Maybe it'll keep him from feeling like such a mess.

 

***

 

There’s one exciting thing going on in the office, and that’s the secret relationship between Zayn and Liam.  
  
Wow. Harry’s known for about seven or eight months and he still can’t believe it.  
  
He walked in on them making out, half naked, in Louis’s roommate’s room at that party he threw last November. He’d just about had a heart attack, stood frozen in shock until they saw him and made him promise not to tell anyone. And he’d wanted to tell Louis, but he hadn’t, and now it’s been at least seven months and he hasn’t told anyone.  
  
He doesn’t think Liam or Zayn have told anyone either, because nobody else seems to know, and because they both occasionally come to Harry for advice when they have problems. Since Harry’s advice is always ‘be upfront about your feelings and talk to one another’, because that’s what he’s learned after everything, and neither of them like that advice, he’s not sure why they keep coming to him. Unless it’s just because they have no one else to go to.  
  
They’re definitely an unlikely pair. Harry still doesn’t quite get it; he would if it were just a physical thing, but they seem to actually be dating now. And Liam’s this uptight, eager do-gooder and Zayn is this aloof cool guy, but Harry supposes opposites are supposed to attract. And they’re both nerds. Zayn’s just as obsessed with comic books as Liam is. So that’s something.  
  
No. Harry’s given up trying to make sense of it. But it’s the one interesting thing at work with Louis gone.

 

***

 

It’s been almost a month. Louis is supposed to come back the day after tomorrow, and Harry is beyond excited. He didn’t get his usual cup of coffee this morning because he’s already jittering out of his skin.  
  
“Hey H,” Niall says, leaning against reception. “How’s it going?”  
  
“Alright, I guess,” Harry says. “You?”  
  
Niall hums. “You haven’t heard then?”  
  
Harry frowns. “Heard what?” he asks, reaching for the bowl of sweets on top of his desk.  
  
“Louis’s transferring to the Leeds branch,” Niall says, and Harry drops the bowl of sweets. Jellybeans scatter across his desk and the floor, but Harry ignores them in favour of gaping at Niall.  
  
“He’s what?”  
  
“Yeah, I just spoke with him,” Niall says. “He’s starting there on Wednesday, the day his holiday’s up. I dunno, I guess he’s just been spending time with Greg and he’s made friends with the people who work there and, I dunno. Meredith offered and he said he saw no reason not to take it.”  
  
“But – what – ” _what the fuck_ , Harry wants to scream. _What the FUCK, how can he just leave? Is he suddenly in love with Greg now? WHAT THE FUCK?  
  
_ “He’s asked me to pack up the things in his desk, he said he’ll come in and get them sometime next week maybe,” Niall says, raising his eyebrows as if he’s warning Harry that Louis will be in.  
  
“How can he – like. What about his house here? He lives _here_ ,” Harry says, feeling kind of desperate.  
  
“Yeah, I think he’s gonna commute for a bit. Or keep crashing with Greg. But he said eventually he’d like to move over there,” Niall says, and Harry can’t believe he doesn’t scream.  
  
Jesus fucking Christ. How is this happening? Harry _called off his wedding_ for Louis, and now Louis’s chosen Greg over him? What the _fuck_?  
  
“I’m sorry,” Niall says.  
  
“Yeah,” Harry says dumbly.  
  
Niall waits for a moment, studying him, then raps his knuckles against the desk. “I’ve gotta get back to my desk. Lunch?”  
  
Harry nods. He feels like he’s in a daze. Niall leaves, and eventually Harry picks up all the scattered jellybeans. He goes through the entire rest of the day on auto-pilot.

 

***

 

Meredith came in this morning and when Harry stood up to join her and Ben in their meeting, to take notes like he always does, she gave him a tight smile and said it wouldn’t be necessary. So that was odd. And then, in their meeting, Harry couldn’t work out what they were saying, but Ben was getting rather hysterical.  
  
And now, Ben’s standing solemnly outside his office door, surveying them all and looking like he’s on the verge of tears. Harry’s been watching him for the last five minutes. It’s taking his mind off the fact that Louis is coming in tomorrow to pick up his stuff, which will be the first time Harry will see him in a month. It also might be the last time Harry sees him, if their lack of communication lately is any indication. Everything kind of rides on tomorrow, so Harry’s been practising what he’s going to say.  
  
It’s nerve-wracking. For once he’s glad to be distracted by Ben.  
  
“What are you doing, Ben?” Liam asks, looking up from his computer. “What’s going on? Why do you look so sad?”  
  
Ben takes a big breath. “I’m not sad,” he says, and then his face crumples.  
  
“You clearly are,” James says.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Jade asks. “Did someone die? Are you okay?”  
  
“No, someone didn’t die,” Ben says. “But I’m… No, I’m not okay. Okay, listen everybody. Is everyone in here? Can we call in the others from the annex?”  
  
Liam jumps out of his seat and sprints towards the kitchen. Harry stifles a laugh.  
  
“What’s going on?” Oli asks. “Are we getting pay cuts?”  
  
Ben mimes zipping his lips, which doesn’t instill Harry with much confidence.  
  
Liam comes back with a reluctant Perrie, Niall and Ed in tow, and Ben takes a big, dramatic breath. Harry’s starting to wonder if this is another one of his ploys for attention.  
  
“Meredith told me this morning,” Ben says. “And I’m really sorry – God, I hate to say it. But they’re shutting down our branch.”  
  
There’s silence, and then the office erupts, everyone asking questions at once. Harry feels a slow calmness spread through him. He’s almost… relieved. This might be the push he needs to make a better life for himself.  
  
Ben’s trying to shush everyone, ineffectively, and Liam yells “QUIET!” which does the trick.  
  
“A few of us will be offered a transfer to Leeds,” Ben says. “Everyone else will be getting severance packages.”  
  
Oh, that’s right. Severance. Harry’s gonna get a packet of money, he can look for a better job and he can pursue his photography.  This is starting to feel like a blessing.

* 

It’s a weird day. Harry’s a bit sad to be leaving this place, in all honesty – he has worked here for almost five years, after all. It’s bittersweet to be leaving. A few people are upset, some are excited about possibly moving to Leeds, some are annoyed because they absolutely don’t want to move to Leeds, and some are just happy to have an excuse to get out of here.  
  
Ben and Liam are distraught. They’ve left to track down the CEO Simon Cowell and beg for him to reconsider, which Harry thinks is a terrible plan, but does it really matter? How much more damage can they do at this point?  
  
Harry doesn’t think they’ll have any luck. The idea itself is ludicrous, but Harry’s also heard that Simon Cowell is a tyrant. Harry’s only met him once before, and he hadn’t paid any attention to Harry, of course, but he’d acted as though he was the king of the world instead of the head of a failing software company. He’s also had a handful of lawsuits – a few cases of workplace discrimination and improper conduct – that he’d ended up paying off. Harry feels like that means he was guilty, and it doesn’t surprise him. If Ben can be still be a manager despite all the complaints to Corporate Ed’s filed, Harry thinks it makes sense that the CEO is corrupt.

*

Almost five, and Harry still hasn’t heard from Ben or Liam. He’s assumed they’ve failed, so he’s been packing up his desk just like everyone else. It’s a bit like when they do spring cleaning, except for the sad and quiet atmosphere.  
  
Then Meredith rings.  
  
“Is Ben there?” she asks.  
  
“No, he’s been out all day,” Harry says. “I can’t even reach him.”  
  
Meredith lets out a long sigh. “Can you put me on speaker please?”  
  
Harry gets everyone’s attention and does so as people start to crowd around reception. Meredith says hello and a chorus of voices respond.  
  
“Are we really losing our jobs?” Jesy asks.  
  
Meredith sighs again. “Look, there’s probably a much better way to do this,” she says. “But I’ve driven from Sheffield to Manchester to Leeds and I can’t get ahold of Ben and I’m exhausted, so. Your branch isn’t closing, Leeds is closing. You’re all keeping your jobs.”  
  
Everyone starts talking at once, mostly excited and happy; Harry is glad, he thinks, but he’s also quite disappointed. And surprised. He might be in shock, actually.  
  
“Meredith?” he asks. “Is this because of Ben? Did it actually work?”  
  
“No, I – I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she says. “No, this was unrelated to Ben. But get him to give me a ring, please, Harry.”  
  
Harry agrees and she hangs up. Jade comes around his desk and gives him a hug around his neck.  
  
“We get to keep our jobs,” she says happily.  
  
“Yay,” says Harry, patting her arms.  
  
“I’m going to tell everyone in the annex,” Leigh Anne says, taking off.  
  
As everyone else chatters happily, Harry’s still wrapping his head around it. Okay. They’re staying. He tries to call Ben, but he’s still not picking up, so Harry texts Liam and starts unpacking his things.  
  
He puts his rainbow bear back on his desk and finally feels excited. He wonders if this means Louis will be coming back.

 

***

 

Harry’s had an absolute whirlwind of a week. He honestly has emotional whiplash. From the excitement of Louis coming home, to the devastation of his transfer, to the mixed bag of relief, joy and sadness at the branch closing, to the simultaneous disappointment and relief of the branch staying open, to the nervous thrill of Louis coming back after all. It’s been a fucking trip.  
  
Harry isn’t quite sure what he expects. He hopes it isn’t awkward, and that they can go back to their easy friendship. He’s not going to lie, though, a huge part of him is kind of hoping Louis walks in the door ready to sweep Harry off his feet. Harry’s been looking at his Facebook, and there’s no sign that he and Greg are actually back together. So it’s possible Louis still has feelings for Harry. It’s possible they can pick up where they left off.  
  
It’s possible Harry’s deluding himself because it’s pretty fucking likely that Louis is with Greg.  
  
Part of Harry thinks it kind of doesn’t matter. He’ll give up on being with Louis if it means that Louis will just come back. Harry misses him so fiercely, he feels like a part of himself has been in Leeds all this time.  
  
Ben has insisted on making a big to-do about all the people from Leeds. There’s goody bags at reception, which Harry is in charge of handing out, and then Ben will give them each a tour, and then there’s a big mixer slash induction meeting planned. Harry’s pretty sure they’ll get no work done today.  
  
He can’t stop staring at the door. Harry meets Ellie, Nick, Rita, Steve, James, and Caroline, which means that Louis and Greg are the last to arrive. Harry watches the door, heart in his throat, and feels goosebumps break out all over his body when he sees Louis through the glass plating. He comes inside, laughing at something Greg’s said, and Harry stands up.  
  
Louis’s smile softens into something Harry recognises, and he feels warm all over because Louis still smiles at him like he matters.  
  
“Hiya, my name’s Louis,” Louis jokes, and Harry leaps around his desk and crashes into his arms.  
  
It’s a short hug, because Harry doesn’t trust himself not to cling, but Louis’s arms wrapped around him immediately, and it’s like he was never gone. It’s like all the weirdness between them disappears. Fuck, Harry’s missed the way he fucking _smells_. And he always gives such good hugs.  
  
Harry forces himself to pull away, and Louis says, “Did you get the joke I was making there?”  
  
“I did, I just don’t care,” Harry says with a grin, and Louis laughs.  
  
“Bit harsh, Styles,” he says. Harry can’t stop smiling at him.  
  
“I missed you,” Harry says.  
  
Louis’s face softens. “I missed you too,” he says quietly. That’s all Harry needs right now.  
  
“Hey Greg,” Harry says, finally looking at Greg, who looks a bit uncomfortable. Oops. “I have goody bags for you guys! Fair warning, it’s mostly pens and gum.”  
  
“What a welcome! Who can’t use pens and gum,” Louis says as they take their bags.  
  
“Oh! Awkward!” Ben yells, walking over and steering Louis away from reception. “Let’s get you out of the awkward zone! Although I probably shouldn’t help you, should I, traitor? You wanted to abandon us!”  
  
“Hi Ben,” Louis says. He sounds both amused and annoyed.  
  
Harry tilts his head back and asks the ceiling for help. If God does exist, he probably doesn’t care. He’s certainly never thought to save Harry from Ben before now.  
  
“And Greg! The mistress! Let me show you two around,” Ben says. Harry is not looking forward to working with Greg, and it’s mostly because of comments like that. 

* 

The mixer/induction is kind of a mess. Ben and Liam made a video which they titled ‘Gangster in Manchester’, which is about as offensive as Harry expected. The new James seems to love it. Rita looks like she’s going to leave on the spot. Leigh Anne and Jade do slip out, but Harry’s come to expect that. He wishes he could leave with them, but Ben always makes him take notes.  
  
Ben then splits them into groups, two old office workers to one new one. Harry’s put together with Ed and Steve, who’s American and has really lovely hair. Ben says it’ll be kind of like speed dating, they’ll have ten minutes to get to know each other and then the new guys will switch.  
  
Steve’s really cool. He’s forty-one and he moved out here five years ago. He ended up marrying an English woman. He says he DJs in his spare time.  
  
“Okay, so I’m Harry,” Harry says when it’s his turn to introduce himself.  
  
“Wait,” Steve says. “You’re _Harry_. Oh, I understand what he meant about the hair now.”  
  
“Excuse me?” Harry says, self-consciously touching his curls.  
  
“I got to be pretty good friends with Louis,” Steve says, and oh.  
  
Wait. What’s Louis been saying about his hair?  
  
“We formed a little group, kinda – me, Nick, Greg and Louis. I love that kid, he’s a riot. Such a good heart, too.”  
  
Harry smiles, melts into Steve’s praise. “That’s true,” he says.  
  
“Told us all about you,” Steve says, then seems to catch himself. “Uh. He said you’re his best friend here, that we should get an in with you if we want to survive in this place.”  
  
Harry giggles. “I’m sure it’s not as dire as all that.” He feels light and happy, though; Louis's still telling people Harry's his best mate. That's gotta be a good sign.  
  
“I don’t know, if that video was anything to go by,” Steve says, gesturing to the screen. Harry smothers a laugh.  
  
“You get used to it,” he says. “And it’s not all bad. We have Ed, he usually tries to reign Ben in.”  
  
“Hi,” says Ed. “I’m Ed.”  
  
“I figured,” Steve says, smiling. “Tell me about yourself, champ.”  
  
Ed does, and he and Steve talk about music until their time’s up. Harry just sort of listens, even though there’s a lot he could say. This guy has seen more of Louis in the last few weeks than Harry has, and he feels like he’s soaking up a bit of Louis by osmosis. It’s silly. But Harry wants to be friends with Louis’s friends.  
  
“Alright, switch!” Ben says. “All newbies, go to the group to your right.”  
  
“It was great to meet you fellas,” Steve says. “We should all have a few drinks sometime.”  
  
Then he’s off, and Harry’s left imagining it: a boys night out with Louis and his new friends. It’s odd, but Harry’s up for it. It does make him think of how Louis kept inviting him and Xavier out, though. Harry’s pretty happy that he doesn’t have to opt out anymore.  
  
They meet James 2, who’s pretty much exactly as big a douche as Harry was expecting; Rita, who’s funny and kind; Ellie, who is absolutely lovely and flirts with Ed rather a lot; Caroline 2, who spends literally the entire ten minutes flirting with Harry to an uncomfortable degree; and Greg, who they already know, obviously. It’s a bit awkward with Greg, but Ed takes the reins and chats with him for most of it.  
  
Then it’s Louis’s turn.  
  
“I don’t know why I have to do this,” he complains. “I know literally all of you.”  
  
“I dunno Louis, you disappeared for a long time,” Ed teases. “We all thought you forgot about us.”  
  
“I didn’t,” Louis says. He’s serious about it, and it makes Harry’s heart jump. “And I wasn’t gone that long anyway.”  
  
“Tell us about Leeds,” Harry suggests.  
  
“Yeah, why’d you end up there? Weren’t you meant to go to Italy? And Niall told us you wanted to transfer, what was that about?”  
  
Bless Ed, honestly. Harry would never have been able to ask that.  
  
“Oh, um,” Louis says, looking uncomfortable, and Harry recognises his expression. It’s the same way he looked when Harry asked him to be his best man, and when he told Harry about his supposedly ‘old crush’. And Harry knows, instinctively now, that Louis is about to lie. “Got cold feet, I guess. Travelling alone’s a bit scary, innit. And Greg called me up, and I thought, well, s’almost like a holiday. Was nice to see him. And then,” he shrugs. “I got into a nice little groove there. I went in to see the Leeds office a few times, and I liked the boss, and I was already friends with Greg’s friends. I dunno, I just thought a change of pace could be good. Guess the universe didn’t agree.”  
  
“I’m glad you’re back,” Harry says quietly. “Didn’t feel right without you here.”  
  
Louis’s uncomfortable expression settles into what Harry privately believes is his ‘fond Harry smile’, and Harry is compelled to smile back. In that moment, he thinks he forgives Louis for disappearing on him. This day’s actually going really well so far.

*

By mid-afternoon there’s issues everywhere. Nick and Liam keep butting heads, and it seems like Nick’s enjoying baiting him, which, given that Steve said Nick and Louis are friends, doesn’t actually surprise Harry. Caroline 2 won’t leave Harry alone, even though he got Ed to tell her that Harry’s very gay and very uninterested. She’s spent more time at reception than at her desk; Harry has to keep making excuses to leave. He doesn’t know why she doesn’t suspect he has a bladder infection. James 2 is a fucking nightmare of a person – he’s like Ben but a thousand times worse. He keeps inappropriately propositioning the girls, and Harry overheard him say that there were “too many poofs in this office”, with a sneer. He seems like a thoroughly disgusting person.  
  
Steve’s been seated with accounting even though he’s in sales, and he and Oli keep bickering over the dumbest things. Rita doesn’t seem to like anyone. Ed texted Harry to say that Ellie, who’s in customer service, has been flirting with Niall, and Ed’s unhappy because he quite liked her.  
  
Meanwhile, Harry’s unhappy because even though there’s no indication Greg and Louis are together, they seem very attached. Harry definitely feels like Greg has replaced him as Louis’s best friend in the office, which would make him feel an ugly kind of jealousy even if he didn’t think they were sleeping together. Plus, Louis seems to be avoiding him – after their brief conversation during the mixer, Louis hasn’t even made eye contact. Harry just feels like he doesn’t even exist, which is a new feeling when Louis is right there.  
  
Ben steps out of his office and then just stands there, clearly surveying them. Little fights have broken out all over the office; the evidence that this isn’t working is right in front of him.  
  
“Alright, that’s enough,” Ben says loudly, demanding their attention. “Enough! I won’t have my family fighting like this. By the end of the day, you’re all going to love each other.”  
  
Or else what, Harry thinks, and James snorts.  
  
“We’re not family, we’re coworkers,” he says. “We don’t have to get along, we just have to work together.”  
  
Ben’s mouth drops open. “How dare you,” he says, clearly upset. “Conference room, now.” When Liam’s the only one to stand up, Ben barks, “NOW!”  
  
Harry rolls his eyes and gets up.

*

“Now, I want you to air out your grievances, and we’ll work through them together,” Ben says. He’s arranged the chairs in a circle. It feels hokey. “Harry, you start.”  
  
“Oh,” Harry says. What the fuck. His main issue is with Louis and Greg. He can’t say that. “I’m fine. I don’t have any grievances.”  
  
“Yes you do,” Ben says. “I know you do.”  
  
“You’ve been weird all day,” Liam adds.  
  
Since when are the two of them ever right about Harry’s feelings? Ugh. Harry sighs and thinks fast.  
  
“Fine,” he says. “I guess I have an issue with James 2. I think he’s homophobic and he’s behaving inappropriately towards the girls.”  
  
“They don’t mind,” James 2 says, leering at Jade who looks disgusted. “And I have an issue with being called James 2. Why can’t we go by last names?”  
  
“I’m going to have to agree with him there,” Caroline 2 says.  
  
“Because that’s on par with homophobia and sexual assault,” Louis mutters.  
  
“I’m not assaulting anyone,” James 2 objects. He seems to have no problem with the homophobia charge, Harry realises with contempt.  
  
“Okay,” Ben says. “I have a compromise! James 2 will keep his opinions to himself, and will stop hitting on everyone. I think all the girls know you’re willing by now, and they’ll come to you if they’re interested.”  
  
“Uh, it’s also unacceptable in the workplace,” Ed says.  
  
“You're unacceptable in the workplace,” Ben says, his eyes on James 2. “And in exchange, James 2, we’ll call you Arthur. Original James, you’ll be known as Corden. And the Carolines will be Watson and Flack. Everyone happy? Okay. Oli, you’re next.”  
  
By the end of the mediation session, Rita has quit and everyone hates Ben.

 

***

 

Nick and Liam keep fighting about who has the fictional position of number two in the office. Meredith comes in and while Harry’s taking notes on her weekly meeting with Ben, she calls in Nick, Liam, and Louis.  
  
“I thought this was clear in the memo you got about the transfer,” Meredith says, and Ben doesn’t say anything. Harry knows for a fact that he didn’t read that memo. He said it was too long, that memos should be three sentences at most, and demanded that Harry throw it away. “Louis is your number two. It’s a real position now, with a slight pay rise. He’s the only one who knows both branches.”  
  
“Technically, Greg also – ”  
  
“And you have seniority over Greg, we’ve had this discussion,” Meredith cuts Louis off. “Okay, boys? Both of you defer to Louis.”  
  
Liam looks like she’s just force-fed him baby vomit. He mutters a short, “Understood,” and then strides out of the office.  
  
“Whatever,” Nick says. “I just didn’t want it to be that guy. Congrats, Cinnamon Swirl.”  
  
Harry mouths _Cinnamon Swirl?_ at Louis, who just shrugs. Then he and Nick leave, and Harry’s stuck listening to Meredith admonish Ben for another fifteen minutes.

 

***

 

Things have definitely changed. Louis is hardly even friendly with him, for one. He treats Harry like an acquaintance, maybe like a casual friend on a good day. It’s unsettling and it hurts, and Harry has no idea how to fix it. He barely even knows what his role in the office is anymore, if he’s not Louis’s partner in crime.  
  
Not that Louis needs a partner in crime right now. He’d mentioned off-hand that his new position probably meant that he shouldn’t pick on Liam so much. The whole thing is so weird to Harry because as far as he knew, Louis never wanted to move up in the company. Harry’s always pushed him to try for more and Louis’s never wanted to.  
  
It feels like Louis is a different person, like Harry doesn’t know him anymore. He’s been trying really hard not to feel that way, and he’s being extra friendly to Louis and trying to talk to him more. All he’s gotten in return is strained smiles and short replies. And, one of the most jarring things for Harry: a complete lack of petnames.  
  
Harry knows Louis loves petnames. From the moment they met, Louis called him Curly or Styles. He stuck to those until they became good friends, and then Harry was only Styles when Louis was teasing him, and Curly when he felt especially fond. The rest of the time he was sunshine, or cupcake, or kitten, or pet, or darling, or love. Harry never thought much of it, it was just the way Louis was, but it did make him feel special. (The fact that Harry noticed this, and could characterise Louis’s petnames, probably should have alerted him to his repressed feelings earlier, but.)  
  
(The way he blushed on the few occasions when Louis called him kitten, in particular, _really_ should have alerted him to his repressed feelings. In hindsight, it’s pretty absurd.)  
  
Now, there’s none of that. Very rarely he’ll hear a Styles, but usually Louis just calls him Harry, if he calls him anything at all. It’s just. It’s horrible. He hadn’t fully realised how sweetly Louis treated him until he stopped.

 

***

 

On the second Friday after the merger, Steve invites Harry, Ed, and Niall to join him, Louis, Greg, and Nick at the pub. Last Friday everyone had been settling in, he says, but they want to start up a weekly tradition now. Harry agrees readily, eager to hang out with Louis and his new friends. He also hasn’t been able to figure out if Louis and Greg are actually together, and he thinks maybe a night out with them will help.  
  
He’s prepared to get very jealous, and tells Ed he may have to use him as a distraction if watching Louis gets too unbearable.  
  
It starts out okay enough, if a bit awkward. Steve brings up Ben and Liam’s latest antics, and that breaks the ice, and then they discuss how and why Ellie, Caroline Flack and James Arthur have all quit. Louis and Greg are sitting next to each other, but they’re not touching, and Harry’s not sure if he’s imagining it but he thinks Louis is looking at him kind of a lot.  
  
The group eventually splits off into smaller groups, and Harry’s been talking to Steve and Ed for a while when he realises he’s kind of drunk. He thinks it’s because Greg and Louis are sitting in a secluded corner, too close for Harry’s comfort, whispering to each other. It literally feels like someone is pushing shards of glass through Harry’s heart, and he reaches for his pint. It’s empty. He downs Ed’s.  
  
Ed laughs. “Let me get you another. Lads, another round?” A shout rises up and Ed leaves.  
  
Nick takes his place. “Hiya, Harry, we haven’t talked much yet,” he says.  
  
“No, we haven’t,” Harry agrees.  
  
After a bit, he thinks Nick might be flirting with him. Steve’s talking to Niall now, so it’s just Harry and Nick, and he’s making suggestive comments. Harry’s too drunk to really figure it out, so he looks back over at Louis and Greg, and –  
  
They’re kissing. All this time, Harry’s never actually seen them properly snog – he’s never seen Louis kiss anyone else, come to think of it. And it makes something hot and ugly swell in his chest, and he’s not sure if he wants to vomit or burst into tears.  
  
Harry stares for a good long moment, stares at Louis’s long eyelashes against his cheeks, at his mouth moving against _someone who isn’t Harry_. Casino Night, the night Harry had his chance and lost it, the night he’s been actively not thinking about for two months, rears up vividly in Harry’s mind. He remembers being in Greg’s place, remembers how it felt to kiss Louis. How it felt right, like he’d been kissing wrong his whole life and everything had suddenly clicked into place. How he’d finally found the place he belonged.  
  
And now Greg’s there. And Harry doesn’t understand how he’s supposed to even function.  
  
He gets up – Nick’s still in the middle of a sentence, but Harry doesn’t care – and makes his way over to the bar. He finds Ed with the next round on the bar, chatting with a pretty blonde girl.  
  
“Ed,” Harry interrupts. “I think my heart just spontaneously combusted.”  
  
Ed frowns. He looks back over to their table, and then back at Harry. “Oh, Haz,” he says. “C’mere.” He cuddles Harry into his side. The girl he was talking to looks confused and a bit endeared, Harry thinks.  
  
“I think you should take care of him,” she says. “But you have my number.” She winks and flounces away, and Harry pulls away from Ed’s side to frown at him.  
  
“I just cockblocked you,” he says sadly.  
  
Ed snorts. “I haven’t heard anyone say that in ages,” he says.  
  
“I did though,” Harry pouts.  
  
“Haz, I don’t give a shit. You’re more important. I think we should get you home, what do you say?”  
  
Harry looks back over at their table. Louis and Greg are still making out. All the alcohol he’s drank tonight swirls wildly in Harry’s stomach.  
  
“I think that’s probably for the best.”  
  
Ed makes him go over and say goodbye, even though Harry doesn’t want to, because he says otherwise it’d be rude and Harry would regret it in the morning. He’s probably right.  
  
Steve and Nick are lovely with their goodbyes, saying they wish he could stay and they hope he feels better. Niall gives him a hug. Louis and Greg have broken apart, but Louis’s mouth is red and shiny and Harry wants to die a little bit. There’s something in Louis’s eyes when he says goodbye, something sad.  
  
Harry thinks Greg looks smug. Harry’s not sure if he’s imagining it, but he’s pretty sure. And Harry’s not a violent person, not ever, but he kind of wants to hit him.  
  
“C’mon, mate, let’s get you home,” Ed says, and steers him away.  
  
When they’re outside, Harry throws up into some bushes. It rips his throat up and it hurts so much less than his broken heart.

 

***

 

Monday is weird. Harry goes in exhausted, having spent the whole depressing weekend wrapped in his duvet watching Bake Off and Bob’s Burgers and eating pizza and ice cream and crying. He feels so tired after it, which he figures is because he’s so sad. He almost didn’t come in to work, but he’s decided to have a lowkey day. He’s not going to try at all and he’s switching his brain off. He’s definitely not going to pay attention to a single thing Louis does.  
  
Nick is at reception when Harry gets in. After some small talk about Friday night and recovering on Saturday and how their weekends were, none of which Harry answers truthfully, Nick says something very odd.  
  
“Women, right?” he says, pointing to where Jesy and Leigh Anne are catching up. “They’re such gossips.”  
  
“Um,” says Harry. “I think they’re just doing the same exact thing we are?”  
  
“No, they’re gossiping,” Nick says. “Isn’t it awful? God, women are just the worst.”  
  
“What?” Harry is bewildered. He’s never gotten the impression that Nick is a misogynist. This is so disappointing.  
  
“Wouldn’t the world be a better place if it were just all guys?” Nick says. “I mean, preferably white guys, but.”  
  
Harry’s officially horrified. Then Nick spits on the floor, which bewilders Harry further, and leaves. Harry’s pretty sure he spends a good five minutes staring after him in confused horror. What the fuck just happened? Did he imagine that or is Nick actually a white supremacist and a misogynist? Harry puzzles over it for a long time.  
  
Throughout the morning, Nick comes up to his desk every half an hour or so. Harry wishes he wouldn’t; he doesn’t want to associate with racists or sexists. Every time, Nick makes a degrading remark about feminism, then he insults someone in the office, and then he insults Harry, and then he spits on Harry’s desk and winks and walks away. Harry has no fucking idea what he’s playing at. Maybe this is some weird Leeds version of pranking.  
  
At lunch Nick brings him a beetroot, olive, and mayonnaise sandwich. He spits on Harry’s desk and winks before he leaves. As in, walks out the front door. Harry is so confused and so disgusted. Why the fuck is he spitting everywhere? Doesn’t he realise how gross and rude that is? And the sandwich is literally just beetroot and olives and mayonnaise. It’s such an odd combination. Like, Harry hates beetroot and olives and mayonnaise, but he doesn’t think it’s unusual to question Nick’s choice of sandwich fillings. Why would anyone eat just beetroot and olives and mayonnaise?!  
  
Harry doesn’t want to be rude, but he throws the sandwich in the bin. It’s not like Nick’s here to see.  
  
Ten minutes later, after Harry’s eaten his own sandwich at his desk like he’s started doing, Nick comes back inside. With a snake.  
  
Harry jumps out of his chair and backs into the corner of his cubicle. “What is that?”  
  
“A snake,” Nick says proudly. “Your favourite animal! Do you want a hold?”  
  
“No!” Harry yells.  
  
“Oh, prefer to watch, eh? Fair enough,” Nick says, and he brings the snake around Harry’s desk. He’s way too close. Harry thinks he might pass out.  
  
“Get it away from me,” he says. The snake is coiling around Nick’s arms, and the proud look on Nick’s face slips away.  
  
“I don’t understand,” he says. “I thought you loved snakes.”  
  
“I’m fucking terrified of snakes,” Harry cries. “Get it away!”  
  
“That doesn’t belong in the workplace,” Liam says. “You need to remove it immediately, Grimshaw.”  
  
“Okay, okay,” Nick says. “I’m leaving.”  
  
Once he’s out and the snake’s gone and Harry can breathe again, he’s very confused. Nick had genuinely seemed like he thought Harry would enjoy that. Maybe everything he’s done today has been some misguided attempt to impress Harry?  
  
When Harry looks up, Louis’s standing in front of his desk looking remorseful.  
  
“I’m so sorry,” he says. “I didn’t think he’d actually bring in a fucking snake.”  
  
Oh. Ohhhhh. Everything suddenly makes sense, and also absolutely doesn’t all at once. Because of _course_ this was Louis’s doing, but also – why? Why would Louis bother?  
  
“God, I’m sorry,” he says again. “Nick clearly likes you, and he asked me what you liked, and I thought it’d be funny to mess about with him – I didn’t even think he’d believe half of it! I told him you had a weird fetish for spitters, for fuck’s sake!”  
  
Harry has to laugh at that, mostly because Louis looks so disgruntled. “It’s okay,” he says. “Gave me a heart attack, and a hell of a confusing day, but no harm done.”  
  
Louis smiles his prettiest smile, and Harry melts. “Okay, good,” Louis says. “I’m still sorry. Dunno why Nick isn’t back yet, maybe he’s having a sulk somewhere? I should track him down and apologise.”  
  
“No, I’ll do it,” Harry says, standing up. “I mean. I think I have to talk to him.”  
  
“Okay,” Louis says hesitantly, and Harry leaves, feeling lighter than he has in weeks. Maybe Louis is with Greg now, but he clearly doesn’t want Nick to be with Harry. That has to mean something.  
  
Harry finds Nick outside. He’s sitting on the brick wall around the garden and he’s definitely sulking.  
  
“Hey,” Harry says, sitting down next to him.  
  
“Hey,” Nick says. “This was a disaster.”  
  
“To be fair, I think you got some faulty advice,” Harry says.  
  
“I did?” Nick looks up, then rolls his eyes. “ _Louis_. Fucking hell.”  
  
“Yeah,” Harry says. “I just want to be clear, I don’t have a spitting fetish.”  
  
“I thought that was a bit weird,” Nick says.  
  
“Don’t kink shame,” says Harry, and then he giggles, and Nick laughs too.  
  
“Uh,” he says, sobering. “Louis told me you hated feminism and everything it stood for. I’m not actually racist or sexist, or at least, I don’t think I am. I don’t believe anything I said. I need to clear that up.”  
  
“Thank God,” Harry says. “That was really rather horrible.”  
  
Nick winces. “I read the comments on some pretty gross forums to prepare,” he says, making a face. “I did hope you didn’t actually think that way.”  
  
They talk for a while, and Harry ends up telling Nick he’s flattered, but he’s not looking for anything right now. And it has nothing to do with Nick’s total failure today. (Although, if he's honest, the fact that Nick was willing to put aside his views just to get in Harry's pants isn't something he understands.) Nick takes it well, shrugging and saying it was worth a shot and he hopes they can be proper friends, which is nice. Harry would like that.

 

***

 

A few days later, after an uneventful day at work, Louis stops Harry on his way out to his car. Harry’s heart kind of flutters; it feels like he and Louis never talk anymore, and especially not when they’re alone.  
  
“Hey,” Louis says. “Um. I sorta wanted to – I’m sorry if things have been weird between us.”  
  
“Oh,” Harry says. He wasn’t expecting that. “It’s okay.”  
  
“I think I’m just getting used to being back here,” Louis says. “And, you know, having new responsibilities and stuff.”  
  
“Right, yeah,” Harry says.  
  
“But I miss you,” Louis says, and Harry stops breathing. Is this it? Is it finally happening?  
  
“I miss you too,” Harry whispers. They stand in silence for a minute. Louis’s so pretty, and his eyes are so blue, but they look kind of sad. Harry doesn’t understand why.  
  
“I want us to be friends,” Louis says, and Harry frowns. That’s not where he thought this was going. And, like, things have been weird, yeah, but obviously they’re friends. Or, Harry thought it was obvious. He didn’t think things had changed that much.  
  
“We are, Lou,” he says.  
  
“Right,” Louis says. He swallows, and Harry suddenly flashes back to Casino Night, to standing in this parking lot with Louis. When Louis admitted his feelings and Harry was so confused that he ruined everything.  
  
Is that happening now? Because Harry swears if it is, he’ll say the right thing this time. If Louis’s finally going to say what Harry’s been waiting for – he’ll say it back. He swears.  
  
“I just want you to know,” Louis says, and Harry’s stomach swirls with butterflies. “That, um. I’m seeing Greg again. And it’s, like, serious this time.”  
  
Harry’s sure he can feel the butterflies in his stomach drop dead. He wants to be sick. What? He’s what? It’s what?  
  
“Oh,” Harry says. He needs another moment for his brain to get into gear and figure out what he’s supposed to say. “That’s, um. That’s good. Good for you.”  
  
“It is?” Louis asks. He looks surprised, like he didn’t expect Harry to say that. What _did_ he expect? Harry doesn’t know what’s going on here, between them, if he can so easily get back together with Greg. Maybe Louis really doesn’t have feelings for Harry at all anymore.  
  
Maybe it’s obvious that Harry does. Maybe Louis feels sorry for him. He was nervous about telling him this – he clearly didn’t want to hurt Harry’s feelings. _Fuck_.  
  
“Yeah,” Harry says. “Yeah, hey, it’s really great. I’m happy for you.”  
  
“Oh,” Louis says. “Well, thanks. I hope it’s not – I meant it, you know. I want us to be friends.”  
  
_Friends._ Harry wants to laugh and he wants to cry. “Of course,” he says. “We’ll always be friends.”  
  
Harry drives home on auto pilot, his heart lodged in his throat. He feels like he might throw it up. When he’s home, collapsed on his sofa, he opens Facebook, hoping to see something from the positivity groups he’s in to make him feel better. Instead, the first thing he sees that Greg and Louis are officially in a relationship.  
  
Harry locks his phone and tosses it gently to the floor, then he curls up on his sofa and tries not to cry. He’s just realising how in denial he’s been. He’s not an idiot, he knew that things have been different with Louis, that Louis has been distant, and that he and Greg are obviously close. Also, they’re exes, for god's sake, and Louis ran away to stay with him. Harry has been half expecting this. But this whole time, Harry thinks he’s been waiting for Louis to snap out of it. To start treating Harry like he used to, to figure out that Harry called off his wedding for him and that they belong together. Like, Jesus. Louis said he was in love with Harry. He said that. Did that really just go away?  
  
Harry’s just. He’s been waiting for everything to click into place. But it’s just getting worse. Now Louis’s with Greg and it's _serious_. How the fuck is Harry supposed to deal with this?  
  
He tries to breathe, but instead he ends up crying for a solid hour.

 

***

 

Sharing an office with them is horrible. Harry had anticipated it would be, but it’s so much worse than he imagined, even if the difference is mostly in Harry’s head. Every time Louis and Greg smile at each other – when they even so much as look at each other – Harry wants to burst into tears.  
  
He’s seen Louis and Greg as a couple before, of course, but it’s different this time somehow. Harry doesn’t think it’s just because he can register his jealousy for what it is now, either. It feels like Louis and Greg have deeper feelings for each other now.  
  
And that kills Harry. It really does. He feels like every moment between them is just pulling Louis further away from him.  
  
Like. Louis has a sunshine smile. Harry’s always thought this. His happiest or cheekiest smiles are like sunbeams shooting out of his face. Harry’s pretty sure that until now, he’s mostly only seen those smiles directed at him. But now they never are. Now they’re almost exclusively for Greg, and it’s making Harry’s heart wither and die.  
  
He knows he’s being dramatic. He knows, but he doesn’t care. His heart may as well be withered and dead. That’s how it feels.

 

***

 

By the weekend, Harry’s had enough of being sad. He wakes up on Saturday still wallowing, but after he’s had breakfast he rings Ed and says he wants a solution, he wants to be cheered up.  
  
Ed pauses. “Well,” he says. “I know when I’m sad, having a kitten helps. I just give him a cuddle and I feel a bit better.”  
  
That’s perfect. Harry’s felt so alone in his new flat, and he’s been holding out hope for Louis to figure out that Harry’s _waiting_ for him and fill the void in his life. Now he’s with fucking Greg, and Harry’s going to have to fill the void himself. With a kitten.  
  
They go to the closest kennel, and there are so many cats to choose from. Harry thought he wanted a kitten, like Ed’s, because he loves tiny cats. Who doesn’t? But then he sees possibly the most pathetic cat in the place, a LaPerm mix with long, frizzy, matted fur and sad eyes. The tag on her cage says she’s about six years old, healthy and cuddly, and she’s been there longer than any other cat. Harry assumes that’s because she looks atrocious, and thinks the kennel could have given her a makeover if they really wanted her to be adopted. She doesn't even have a name.  
  
“I love this one,” the employee says when Harry tells her his choice. “I think people think she looks wild, so they steer clear of her. But she’s such a sweetheart.”  
  
“She’s quite old, Harry,” Ed says doubtfully. “Are you sure you don’t want a kitten?”  
  
But Harry looks into the cat’s eyes, and he just. It’s dumb. But he feels a connection with her, and he just can’t leave her. “No, I want her.”

* 

He researches her as soon as he gets her in the car, since Ed’s driving. She’s apparently quite rare, or LaPerms are at any rate. From what he reads about her breed, he has no idea why she sat in the kennel for so long – LaPerms are apparently agreeable, calm and lovable, okay with being left alone and in tune with their owner’s feelings, which is almost incredible to Harry. The more he reads the happier he is with the cat curled up in the carrier in the backseat. His cat.  
  
He thinks once he gets her groomed she’ll have curly fur, which is pretty cool. They’ll match, then, he thinks with a quiet giggle.  
  
“Can we stop at a groomer’s on the way home?” he asks Ed. “I don’t really know what I’m doing, I don’t want to sort her fur out myself.”  
  
Ed agrees, so Harry Googles cat groomers, finds one close by and manages to squeeze in an appointment.

*

Her fur is ginger and white, and after she’s been washed and had a trim it’s delightfully curly. Well, more kinky than curly, but Harry assumes that’s what passes for curls in cats. She’s skinnier than he thought with less hair and frizz, and he can’t wait to take her home and get her fed and looked after.  
  
The groomer had said she was well-behaved, and Harry wants to give his cat a big hug, but he doesn’t want to overwhelm her. He gets her back in her carrier and takes her out to the car.  
  
“Oh,” Ed says in surprise. “She looks so much better!”  
  
“I know,” Harry says proudly. “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”  
  
“Yep,” Ed says. “Now she just needs a name.”

*

Ed had picked up kitty litter, food, bowls, and a litter tray while he was waiting for Harry at the groomer's, and he helps Harry carry them all inside, and then says he has to leave, he has dinner plans. Harry thanks him profusely because really, he’s been such a great support today, and it’s so nice to have someone else from the office to lean on. Ed smiles and gives him a hug and says no worries, and that he’ll bring Graham over for a kitty play date sometime soon.  
  
Once he leaves, Harry opens the carrier and lets his cat out. She wanders around while he sets up the kitty litter, wondering if she even knows how to use it. He guesses he’ll find out soon.  
  
He puts out some food and water in case she’s hungry, and it turns out she is. Harry sits down on his sofa and watches her eat, and tries to think about what to name her.  
  
He ends up Googling ‘names for ginger cats’, because he’s useless. He doesn’t much like any of the results, though, so he Googles ‘ginger characters’. He thinks that’s the sort of thing he’s after, a good namesake. He’s quite partial to Ginny, as in Weasley, or Pippi, as in Longstocking, and then he sees a picture of Merida from Brave and he cracks up. With her wild orange curls, Harry can’t help but think that his cat is Merida in cat form, and that does it. He’s sort of always wanted to name a pet after a Disney character anyway. Merida it is.  
  
Just as he’s decided, the cat startles him by jumping up onto the sofa beside him. She lies down and pushes her head against his leg, and Harry’s heart melts. He rubs her head and says, “What do you think, Merida? Do you like that name?”  
  
She starts purring, probably because he’s patting her, but Harry takes it as a yes. He can’t help feeling delighted that she seems to like him. What a wonderful idea this was.

*

A few hours later, he’s taken a really beautiful photo of her and posted it to Facebook and Instagram with the caption ‘Meet Merida. My new best friend.’ He racks up close to fifty Likes on each before he goes to bed, with a heap of comments about how cute she is. His mum gushes and Gemma berates him for not telling her, and Ed says, ‘After the Disney princess? Mate.’  
  
Gemma replies to Ed with a picture of Merida from Brave, saying ‘I think it’s quite apt’, and Harry grins. She’s so obviously his sister.  
  
He can’t help noticing that he doesn’t get any Likes or comments from Louis, and it stings, but Harry’s not going to pretend that his caption wasn’t partially a pathetic dig either.

 

***

 

Harry honestly, absolutely hates work now. Louis used to be the one good thing about the place, and it was bad enough when they weren’t good friends anymore. It was worse knowing he and Greg were together again. But somehow now, having to leave a loving little furball to come here just makes it even worse.  
  
Like. Merida makes his life so much better in so many ways. It’s just like Ed said, when he’s feeling sad, he gives her cuddle and buries his face in her fur and after a while, he feels like he can breathe again. But she makes the parts of his life she’s not in almost unbearable.  
  
Jesus. Harry’s literally going to turn into a reclusive cat lady at this rate. Cat person? ‘Cat lady’ seems quite sexist.  
  
He’s puzzling over that at his desk when Nick comes over to chat. He asks after Merida and Harry’s all too happy to talk about her. Nick has slightly replaced Louis in a way, in that he keeps hanging out around Harry’s desk. Harry doesn’t mind at all; he may not be interested in Nick, but it’s nice feeling like someone cares enough to come and talk to him.

 

***

 

Things with Louis and Greg seem off, he realises a few days later. Harry thinks they’re fighting, but he’s not sure why. Louis looks tired and miserable, though, and Harry hates to see it. He puts aside his feelings and decides to make good on what he’d said before. He’s supposed to be Louis’s friend. He wants to help.  
  
Harry catches Louis alone in the breakroom and asks if he’s okay.  
  
“Yeah,” Louis says. “I’m fine.”  
  
He’s so clearly not that Harry almost scoffs.  
  
“You don’t have to keep it from me, you know, whatever it is,” Harry says. “We’re friends, yeah? I want to help, if I can, even if it’s just listening.”  
  
Louis sighs, but there’s a slight smile on his face. And then he explains.  
  
Greg’s been staying with Nick in a hotel room for the last few weeks. When Louis has a perfectly good house he can stay in. Louis says he just feels weird about it. Harry hates to side with Greg, or to encourage their relationship in any way, but he doesn’t understand.  
  
“You literally lived at his place in Leeds for a month,” Harry points out when Louis asks him for advice.  
  
“Well, but that was different,” Louis says. “It was temporary.”  
  
God. Harry fucking hates that he’s suggesting that the probable love of his life’s boyfriend should move in with him. But Louis’s logic just doesn’t make sense, and he feels bad for Greg having to share a hotel room while his boyfriend’s got a perfectly good house.  
  
“That’s ridiculous,” he says. “What were you gonna do if you moved to Leeds? Were you gonna get your own place?”  
  
“Well, I don’t know,” Louis hedges.  
  
“And your house is big enough for you to give Greg a separate room if you wanted,” Harry says.  
  
“Not quite,” Louis says. “Our lease was up when I was gone, and Stan moved us into a two bedroom flat. So Greg would have to share with me.”  
  
Harry tries not to wince. He takes a breath and regroups. “Well,” he says. “I’m sure he’s over there plenty anyway. And he’s uprooted his life to move here. I think you should go easy on him.”  
  
Louis looks surprised. “Okay, Harry,” he says. “Thanks for the advice?”  
  
“You’re welcome,” Harry says with a charming smile.   
  
After Louis goes back to his desk, Harry stays in the breakroom. He just has to breathe for a few minutes so he doesn't start crying. He tells himself it'll be okay, but he doesn't believe it.

 

***

 

Halloween’s coming up, and Ben’s insisting on an amazing party, apparently he wants them to go all-out. Because he says he is the only man who can satisfy Ben’s wishes, Liam has joined the Party Planning Committee. Jade suggested they invite Greg as well, as a representative for the new people in the office.  
  
So now the Party Planning Committee consists of Harry, Liam, Jade, Jesy, and Greg. Harry doesn’t know how he feels about this.  
  
The first meeting is, in a word, terrible. Liam’s convinced that nobody’s ideas are good enough, so when Jade asks Greg what they do for Halloween in Leeds, and Greg gives some examples, Liam shoots down every single one.  
  
“Some of us just aren’t ideas men,” Liam says. “Look. Only I know what Ben actually likes, so we should just do what I’ve outlined here. You can all help, but your ideas aren’t necessary.”  
  
Greg raises his eyebrows. Even Harry is a bit taken aback. Liam’s a control freak, yes, but he doesn’t usually sound like an actual dictator.  
  
After the meeting, Harry sits at his desk, thinking about it. Greg’s ideas actually seemed like fun, and what Liam’s come up with is just the same as every other party they’ve ever had. And Harry feels like he’s never really been nice to Greg. That’s grating on him; Harry likes being nice to people. It’s kind of his thing.  
  
He takes a breath to steady himself, then he gets up and goes over to Greg’s desk. Liam’s disappeared somewhere, so he’s not around to call sabotage.  
  
“Hey,” he says. Greg looks up. “That was rough, in there. I’m sorry.”  
  
“Oh,” Greg says. “Wow, hey. Thank you for saying that.”  
  
“It was uncalled for,” Harry says. He thinks he can feel Louis looking at them, but he ignores him. Or tries to. This isn’t about Louis.  
  
Greg nods. “Yeah, I thought so,” he says. “Is it always like that?”  
  
“Well, Liam’s always like that,” Harry says. Greg gives him a tight smile. “So… you guys do a costume competition? That sounds cool.”  
  
“Yeah, it’s a lot of fun,” Greg says, looking happier. “Gets everyone involved.”  
  
Harry nods. “And bobbing for apples? That’d be fun too.”  
  
“It is,” Greg says, smiling genuinely.  
  
“So I was thinking,” Harry says. “What if we form our own committee? And put on another party? Surely two parties are better than one.”  
  
Greg’s smile slowly turns into a grin, and then he laughs. “That sounds amazing,” he says.  
  
So they start planning. Harry feels mostly good about it, he feels like a better person for being friendly with Greg when his instinct is to hate him. He's been feeling so guilty over it without even realising - it's not Greg's fault that Harry's in love with his boyfriend.

 

***

 

Paul, the Warehouse foreman, is getting married. He’s invited the whole office, and Harry really doesn’t want to go, not least of all because Xavier will be there, and because Louis and Greg will be together. Harry’s positive he’ll spend the whole day feeling awkward about his ex and pining over Louis.  
  
But he’s friendly with Paul, and everyone else is going, so he feels like he has to go.  
  
Jesy and her fiancé have recently had an ugly split, and even though they're not incredibly close, she suggested that Harry come to her place and get ready with her. Harry agreed, because he desperately wants to spend the day with someone who understands what he’s going through.  
  
“We should stick together today, I think,” Jesy says as she’s brushing on highlighter. Harry wonders if he could ask to borrow some. “It’s going to be rough for both of us, yeah? My break-up being so recent, and with Xavier actually being there.”  
  
Harry takes a deep breath and nods. Part of him wants to tell her how he feels about Louis, how that’s making this day so much harder. But he’s embarrassed, and he doesn’t want to tell anyone, really. He definitely doesn’t want the entire office finding out.  
  
“It’s gonna be okay, Haz,” she says. “We’ve both made the right decisions. If anything, being at a wedding should hammer that home. You should only get married if you’re in forever love.”  
  
It makes Harry smile. She has a point. Maybe sticking with her will make this day bearable.

“Do you think I could borrow some highlighter?” he asks shyly. “’ve always wanted to try it.”

Jesy beams. “Oh my God, yes, babes, of course,” she says, brandishing her make-up brush. “You're gonna look other-worldly, I promise.”

*

Jesy definitely makes it easier to ignore Xavier, Louis, and Greg. She's recently been planning a wedding just like Harry, and she makes snarky comments about everything, from what people are wearing to the choice of venue to the decor. Harry feels like he’s in one of those Four Weddings shows, judging this wedding against the idea of his own. But she makes it fun. Without her, Harry would just be comparing his choices to the ones made here. It’d be sad instead of amusing.  
  
Also, with Jesy comes Leigh Anne, Perrie, and Jade, so Harry has a group of girls distracting him. It’s nice, actually. He doesn’t talk to them as much as he’d like to, usually, so it’s nice to hang out with them.  
  
The ceremony’s not unbearable. Harry sheds a tear, but only because he always cries at weddings. It’s actually got nothing to do with his own heartache and jealousy. He has a few drinks with Jesy and the girls once he gets to the reception venue, and things are going okay, he thinks. That is, until they get inside for the reception and he sees where he’s been seated.  
  
The reception hall is set up with two very long tables, and everyone from the office is seated at the end of one of them. They’re furthest away from the bridal table, but Harry doesn’t actually care about that. What he cares about is that he’s stuck at the very end of the table, with Zayn on one side and Louis and Greg directly opposite.  
  
He suddenly hates Paul and Clodagh for their seating plan. Ugh. Why would they do this to him?  
  
It dawns on Harry that the warehouse guys are all seated ahead of the people from the office, meaning that Harry is literally the furthest person from Xavier. He’s grateful for that, he supposes.  
  
Zayn’s disappeared somewhere, but Harry sits down and takes a few photos of his table setting. That’s nice, at least. Louis and Greg are laughing at something, taking their seats. Harry doesn’t want to lift his eyes up.  
  
“Hiya Harry,” Jesy says, dropping into Zayn’s seat.  
  
“Hiiii,” Harry says slowly, looking up at her. “What’s going on?”  
  
“I swapped seats with Zayn,” Jesy says. “He’s happy to sit with Perrie, so. I told you, we have to stick together today.” She gives him a kind smile, and Harry wants to hug her.  
  
He swallows thickly. “Thanks, Jes,” he says. “That’s – I’m really glad. You’ve made this loads better.”  
  
She’s still giving him a soft smile. “You’ve made it better for me, too, Harry,” she says. “Now, come on, let’s take another selfie. I want to get one with those pretty fairy lights behind us!”  
  
Harry’s pretty sure he can feel Louis’s eyes on him as he takes selfies with Jesy and chats with her, but he focuses all of his attention on Jesy and tries to ignore it. Louis can’t hurt him if Harry doesn’t acknowledge him.

*

There’s an open bar, which is really good for a little while and then very bad. Because Harry’s drunk. He’s danced with the girls, but he goes back to his seat whenever a romantic song comes on, and he drinks. A lot. That’s when Xavier comes and sits with him.  
  
“This’s nice, yeah?” he says, getting comfortable in Jesy’s seat.  
  
“Yeah,” Harry says, feeling awkward. He’s too drunk for this. Or not enough. He isn’t sure. It’s been a while since he’s even talked to Xavier. It feels really weird to be sitting here at their friend’s wedding with him. “The food was good.”  
  
“Yeah,” Xavier says. “They went with the caterer we were going to use.”  
  
Harry nods. “I thought I recognised the menu.”  
  
“I hate this, y’know,” Xavier says. “I hate not being with you.”  
  
Harry bites his lip. Xavier sounds so sad, and Harry just feels guilty. Like, he’s not happy, and he’s lonely, but he’s not… sad. He doesn’t miss Xavier.  
  
Certainly not like how he misses Louis.  
  
Xavier sighs. “Sorry,” he says. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”  
  
Before Harry can reply, the song changes, and Jesy is by his side, grabbing his arm. It’s the Spice Girls, Wannabe, and she says, “C’mon, Harry, you’ve gotta dance with me!”  
  
Harry’s all too happy to do just that.

*

He runs into Louis at the bar a few songs later. He looks around, but he can’t see Greg anywhere.  
  
“Some nice dancing you’re doing there,” Louis says, looking amused.  
  
“I tend to throw some crazy shapes,” Harry says, and Louis laughs.  
  
“Tell me about it,” he says.  
  
“Why haven’t you been dancing?” Harry asks, slightly distracted by the way the fairy lights are glowing in Louis’s eyes.  
  
“Not drunk enough yet,” Louis says, tipping the glass he just got in Harry’s direction. “Not a problem you’ve had, though.”  
  
Harry giggles. “’ve been drinking all day.”  
  
“I noticed, sunshine,” Louis says with a smile. Harry feels significantly warmer than he did a second ago. “Maybe you should slow down.”  
  
And, for some reason, that makes Harry remember why he’s drinking. Because Louis’s with Greg. Because Louis’s here, at a wedding, with Greg, and Harry’s alone.  
  
“Don’t think I will,” he says lightly, as the bartender finally gives him his wine. “Thanks for the concern, though.”  
  
And then he leaves, twirling himself around the dancefloor with Jesy and drowning his sorrows in endless glasses of wine.

*

Later, after the bouquet’s been thrown and Harry’s sitting with the girls because his feet have started to hurt, there’s a slow song on and Louis is dancing with Greg. Harry can’t stop watching. He feels so pathetic.  
  
Harry wishes Louis had never said he was in love with him. Maybe if Harry didn’t know that he could’ve had a chance with Louis, this wouldn’t hurt so much.  
  
What is it that makes a person fall out of love with someone? Surely if you actually, really, truly were in love, that feeling would never go away?  
  
Then again, Harry had definitely at one point thought he was in love with Xavier, and now he doesn’t feel it at all. That’s probably what happened to Louis. Harry is Louis’s Xavier. The thought makes Harry feel ill.  
  
Louis looks up and catches Harry’s eye. Harry can’t look away, even though he knows he should, he knows he’s being extremely obvious.  
  
Louis keeps eye contact for what feels like forever. It’s like he can’t look away either. It’s so weird, because Louis’s dancing with Greg, his head tucked under Greg’s chin (because Greg’s so fucking tall), but he’s staring at Harry.  
  
Harry can’t take it. His heart can’t fucking take it.  
  
Louis drops his head, and Harry stands up and strides over to Xavier at the bar.

*

Harry wakes up to an awful taste in his mouth and a pounding head. He doesn’t recognise the room he’s in, but he assumes he just went home with Jesy – and then he looks over. Xavier’s sleeping in the bed next to him. And Harry’s only wearing his underwear.  
  
He sits up very quickly, then immediately regrets it. His head throbs, and he wants to be sick, and he’s – he’s very almost naked in bed with Xavier. What happened? Did they – God, did they have sex?  
  
Harry’s stomach rolls, and luckily he notices the empty rubbish bin by the side of the bed just in time. He sits up fully, grabs the bin and throws up into it. Loudly. By the time he’s finished, Xavier’s awake.  
  
“Hey, Haz, are you okay?” he asks, clearly going for soothing.  
  
“No,” Harry says, getting a tissue from the bedside table and wiping his mouth. “I’m - oh God. What happened last night?”  
  
“Oh,” Xavier says, eyes wide. “Nothing! I mean. You were so drunk. You didn’t even, like, try anything, I mean, you were acting weird at the reception, you wanted to come home with me, but once we were here – you were so drunk, Haz. I didn’t think anything of it.”

Harry relaxes. His stomach settles. “Okay,” he says.  
  
“I only slept in here because I wanted to make sure you didn’t choke in your sleep,” Xavier says. Harry notices he’s fully clothed in his pajamas. “And you undressed yourself. You know what you’re like.”  
  
Harry manages a small smile at that. “Yeah,” he says.  
  
“I’ll get you some water,” Xavier says, and he gets up, taking the rubbish bin with him.  
  
Harry relaxes back against the pillows and tries to breathe. It’s okay. He probably didn’t do anything too stupid. At least Xavier doesn’t seem to think he wants to get back together.  
  
Xavier comes back juggling a glass of water, the emptied bin, and some mouthwash. He climbs back into bed while Harry rinses out his mouth and spits into the bin.  
  
“Are you hungry? Or not yet?” he asks.  
  
Harry shakes his head. He doesn’t think he can eat yet.  
  
“Want to watch some crappy telly?” Xavier asks, and Harry nods. Xavier turns on the TV and flicks around until he finds an old episode of Futurama.  
  
Harry puts the bin on the floor, and the glass and mouthwash on the bedside table. Then he leans back and closes his eyes and lets the voices from the TV wash over him.

*

It’s not a bad morning, all things considered. He’s ridiculously hungover, but Xavier makes him eggs on toast and they watch more Futurama and The Simpsons, even end up reciting scenes from their favourite episodes during the ad breaks. Harry feels like Xavier’s letting him off the hook gently. He’s being very kind, and he’s acting like nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Harry finds that he appreciates it.

 

***

 

Things are weird in the office on Monday. Jesy stops by his desk to chat a few times, which is nice, but Harry overhears wisps of conversation throughout the morning that make him think people think he’s back with Xavier.  
  
Harry doesn’t know what to do about that. He’s not exactly sure that’s what people are saying, for one, so standing up and announcing that he’s not would be a weird thing to do. Okay, that would be weird regardless.  
  
Eventually he asks Jesy.  
  
“Oh, yeah,” she says. “Everyone saw you guys leave together. Thought it was a safe assumption.”  
  
“I didn’t,” Harry says, and then he frowns. “Well, I did leave with him, but nothing happened. I was just drunk and sad.”  
  
“Uh huh,” Jesy says, looking sceptical. “C’mon Harry, you don’t have to lie to me.”  
  
“I’m not,” Harry protests. “We’re genuinely just friends. If that. I don’t want to be with him.”  
  
Jesy rolls her eyes. “Okay,” she says, suddenly rather frosty. Harry doesn’t understand it.  
  
She doesn’t come back to chat, and mid-afternoon Xavier comes up to the office with a mochaccino for Harry, just like he used to.  
  
“I know you get tired in the afternoon,” he says. “Thought you might want something nicer than the coffee up here.”  
  
Harry smiles and takes it gratefully. When he looks up, he can see Jesy watching him. She rolls her eyes and Harry can tell she’s annoyed with him.

 

***

 

Harry’s so excited. It's almost the end of the semester, which means his class is having a showing of their work, in an actual gallery. He kind of can’t believe that his work is going to be shown in a fucking gallery. He invites everyone he knows, which includes everyone in the office. Only a few people seem to understand Harry’s excitement, but that’s okay.  
  
His mum and Gemma make the drive out, which is lovely. They don’t stay long, but they’re very supportive. Xavier comes too, which is unexpected and a bit uncomfortable. He points out that nobody else from work is there, and that he’s being supportive of Harry’s art.  
  
“It’s early,” Harry says. “I’m expecting a bunch of the others.” He isn’t; he doesn’t actually know who’s coming. “But it was really nice of you to come.”  
  
“I’m just sayin’, I’m proud of you, Haz,” Xavier says. “I’m trying to support you in your art.”  
  
Harry wants to roll his eyes. He wants to say _too little, too late_. Instead he just says, “Okay. Thanks for coming.”  
  
Harry knows Ed’s not going to be able to make it. He’s driven down to Suffolk for the weekend for a family birthday. And it’s a weird feeling, because Ed’s pretty much his best friend in the office now. A year ago, Harry would’ve been sure that Louis would come. Now he has no certainties.  
  
Harry stands alone by his photos for the longest time, watching his classmates and all their family and friends. He’s never felt like his life was lacking, not really, not until this very moment. He’s beginning to realise that he has very little people in his life who truly care about him. He thinks because he sees a lot of friendly people on a very regular basis, that he actually has friends. But clearly he doesn’t, because none of them could be bothered to come to this.  
  
Nick shows up briefly, with his new boyfriend whose name Harry can’t remember. The new boyfriend is clearly judging Harry’s work, and not in a good way. Harry can tell. He offers to get them cups of tea, and on his way back, from behind the display partition, he overhears Nick’s boyfriend say, “There’s no honesty, no courage, no heart. It’s not _real_. It’s just cold and empty.”  
  
“Maybe that’s what he was going for,” Nick offers weakly. The boyfriend scoffs.  
  
Harry swallows hard and tells himself he doesn’t care about what some random pretentious jerk thinks. He rounds the display and offers them their cups of tea. And he privately hopes Nick’s boyfriend burns his tongue.  
  
Nick’s really nice about his photos, and he compliments Harry and it feels like he means it, despite what his boyfriend said. It’s nice that he made the effort. But it just makes Harry think about everyone who didn’t.  
  
There’s still an hour left in the showing, but Harry’s stood here for two hours so far and he’s only had five guests. His classmates’ friends and family have stopped by his exhibit, but nobody’s been really complimentary. He gets the feeling they think it’s a competition somehow, and they can’t support anyone they don’t know. He supposes it’s fair enough; he doesn’t expect them to support him. He’d just like to hear some kind words.  
  
Fuck it. There’s an hour left but Harry doesn’t want to stand here like a loser another minute. He turns and starts peeling his photos off the wall, and then someone says, “What are you doing?”  
  
Harry turns around to see Liam.  
  
“I thought this ended at ten?” he says. “I didn’t think I was too late.”  
  
“You’re not,” Harry says, kind of shocked to see him here. “What're you doing here?”

Liam shrugs. “You've been nice to me lately,” he says. “I know this is important to you. I wanted to support it.”

Harry inhales sharply. He's so surprised and touched. Liam hasn't noticed; he's inspecting the pictures.  
  
“These are really good, Harry,” Liam says. “I had no idea you were this talented.”  
  
Harry snorts, because of course Liam sounds stunned, but he also feels the anxious tension in his chest loosen. “Thank you.”  
  
“I'm genuinely impressed,” Liam says. He seems to notice one picture. “Hey, is that our office?”  
  
“Yeah,” Harry says, smiling at the way Liam’s marvelling at it. It’s the building at sunset.  
  
“That’s beautiful, Harry,” Liam says. “That’s _our_ office. Is that Ben's car? And that’s your car!”  
  
“Yeah,” Harry says, his smile widening. He and Ben had been the only ones still at work that day. Ben had fallen asleep at his desk and everyone had snuck out early.  
  
“How much?” Liam says, catching Harry off guard.  
  
“S’cuse me?”  
  
“I don’t see a price,” Liam says. “How much is it?”  
  
“You want to buy it?” Harry asks, stunned. “Really?”  
  
“Of course,” Liam says. “That’s our office, we should have it hanging up. I want to frame it and give it to Ben. It’s just beautiful, Harry, really. You have a really good eye.”  
  
Harry bites his lip. He’s on the verge of fucking tears. “You can just have it,” he says.  
  
“No, I have to pay you,” Liam insists. “You deserve to sell it. Is fifty pounds okay? I won’t accept any less.”  
  
“I – okay,” Harry says. He’s dumbfounded. He can’t believe – he never expected – how is _Liam_  the best part of this whole showing?  
  
Harry’s overcome, and all he can do is fall forward and hug Liam, who seems very surprised but pats his back.  
  
“Thank you,” Harry says tearfully.  
  
“Of course,” Liam says. “It’s just fifty pounds, it’s not a big deal.”  
  
He doesn’t get it. He’ll never know that he was the only person who made Harry feel like his art matters today.

 

***

 

The lack of people at his photography exhibit really made Harry realise how much he’d like to still be friends with Xavier. He was a huge part of Harry’s life for so long, after all, and Harry clearly doesn’t have many people he can count on. Nowhere near as many as he thought he did. And Xavier still cares about him. Harry would like to be his friend.  
  
He asks Xavier to get a drink with him after work one day. It goes really well for a bit; Harry’s up front with him about just wanting to be friends. Xavier seems okay with that.  
  
“I’m not gonna lie, I wish things had worked out between us,” Xavier says. “But I get why it didn’t. To be honest I kinda saw it coming. I always thought you had a thing for Tomlinson.”  
  
“I guess you figured it out before I did,” says Harry.  
  
Xavier nods. “Didn’t make it hurt any less though,” he says mildly, and Harry feels awful. “Honestly I guess I’m just glad you didn’t cheat on me with him. Thanks for having the decency to break up with me first.”  
  
Harry bites his lip. Fuck. He really wants to start being more honest, and he doesn’t see how he can start over with Xavier if he’s not truthful. God, this isn’t going to go over well.  
  
“Well,” Harry says. He swallows. “There was this one… tiny thing. I didn’t even think it was worth mentioning… But, um. At the Casino Night we had last May? Um, that’s when Louis told me how he felt. And I was confused, and I didn’t know how to make sense of what I was feeling. And I kissed him.”  
  
Xavier’s face goes blank. “You what?”  
  
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Harry says. “I didn’t think it was that important…”  
  
“What the fuck, not important?” Xavier explodes. “You fucking cheated on me! And with the worst possible – what the _fuck_ , Harry?!”  
  
“I chose you,” Harry says weakly. “I turned him down.”  
  
“Not for very fucking long, did you?” Xavier spits. “You broke it off a fucking week later. Was it that life-changing, that kiss? Made you realise everything you were missing?”  
  
“It wasn’t like that,” Harry tries, even though it sort of was. It _was_ life-changing.  
  
“Fucking _bullshit,_ it wasn’t like that,” Xavier yells, and smashes his pint glass on the floor.  
  
The pub quietens around them and Harry just stares at Xavier. He doesn’t know what to say.  
  
“I have to go, before I do something I’ll regret,” Xavier says through gritted teeth. He looks scary, and Harry can't believe this is the same man he thought he was in love with. “God. Are you fucking kidding Harry? And you thought we could be friends? _Fuck_ that. Thanks for wasting seven fucking years of my life.”  
  
Harry swallows hard at that and tries not to cry as Xavier walks away. After everything, he still doesn’t think of the entire time they spent together as a waste. It stings to hear him say that, on top of being screamed at. Fuck, what a horrible idea this was.

* 

The next day at work, Harry’s still feeling shitty. He hates that Xavier’s angry with him, even if Harry doesn’t want to be with him. He hates that he knows he’s in the wrong here, too. It’s hard to stomach and he doesn’t know how to make it right.  
  
And then. Then the office door bangs open and Xavier comes storming in.  
  
Harry stands up. “What are you – ” he starts to say, but Xavier ignores him, making a beeline to where Louis’s standing at his own desk.  
  
Xavier’s raising his fist to hit Louis, and Louis looks frozen, his eyes wide, and then Liam tackles Xavier to the floor and pins him down. And Xavier’s strong, but Liam’s stronger.  
  
“Jade, call security. Louis, throw me the zip ties in my top drawer.”  
  
What the fuck. Why does Liam have zip ties at work? Harry is seriously not processing anything right now.  
  
Louis finds the zip ties and throws them to Liam, and James holds Xavier down while Liam ties his hands together. He struggles, and kicks at them, swearing all the while. Harry can’t, he just can’t believe this is happening. Xavier tried to _attack_ Louis. He’s still trying. What the _fuck_.  
  
Alberto and Preston from security are upstairs within minutes, and they escort Xavier outside. And it’s over.  
  
Everyone’s congratulating Liam, which he waves off. “I just did what anyone would have done,” he says, and he goes back to his desk.  
  
Greg is fussing over Louis, who seems as shaken as Harry is. Harry needs to go over and apologise, but he just can’t do it while Greg’s there and everyone’s watching.  
  
He waits a good fifteen minutes, for everything to go back to normal, for Greg to go back to his own desk, for his heart rate to slow down. And then he goes over to Louis.  
  
“Hey,” he says. “God. I’m really sorry about that.”  
  
“That’s okay,” says Louis.  
  
“No it isn’t,” Harry says. “I, um. I told him what happened between you and me, and he lost it.”  
  
Louis nods. “I thought as much.”  
  
“It’s well and truly over with him,” Harry says. “I’m not even going to bother trying to be friends.”  
  
“Okay,” Louis says, like he doesn’t believe him.  
  
“I mean it,” Harry says. “That’s it.”  
  
“I’m sure you’ll find your way back to each other,” Louis says. Harry doesn’t know how to convince him, so he just sighs and goes back to his desk.

 

***

 

Harry gets Louis for Secret Santa. He thinks back on last year, on Louis’s extremely thoughtful gift and how lucky Harry had felt to have him, and he wants to cry. How have things between them gotten this bad?  
  
He has no idea what to get. What kind of gift do you get for someone who used to be your best friend, but who you barely even speak to? Who you’re also madly in love with? Harry tries Googling, but it’s no real help. Part of him thinks he should trick himself into thinking he’s just gotten someone in the office he doesn’t know very well, and get something bland and impersonal. But it’s Louis, and Harry just can’t do that.  
  
He doesn’t want to go sentimental, because that would just be embarrassing at this point, but he wants to get something Louis will like. Harry knows what he likes, what movies and bands and songs and sports and – he’s spoilt for choice, really. Plus, it’s also Louis’s birthday, and Harry doesn’t think it’d be okay for him to give him a birthday present, so he feels like this Secret Santa gift needs to be doubly impressive.  
  
And then he remembers. He remembers a party at Louis’s house, singing Queen and trying to ignore the magnitude of the lyrics, of how deeply he connected to them. He remembers Louis saying that he wanted Harry to record an album for him. And he remembers promising, last Christmas, that he would.  
  
Okay. Louis might not even like Harry’s voice anymore, but it’s the best idea Harry’s got.

*

He goes to visit Ed in the annex, during lunch when it’s mostly empty.  
  
“So… I’m making a CD for my Secret Santa gift, and I was hoping you’d play guitar for me,” he says.  
  
Ed laughs. “Straight to the point,” he says. “Uh, yeah. I can probably do that. Though I can also probably guess who your Secret Santa is.”  
  
“Shhh,” Harry hisses, even though Niall’s the only other person back here right now and he has earbuds in.  
  
Ed grins. “Have you picked out a track list?”  
  
“Not yet,” Harry says. “I will this weekend. I was hoping we could practice throughout next week, and then record it next weekend?”  
  
Ed nods. “Yeah, sounds good,” he says. “I’m guessing it’ll be all covers?”  
  
“I think so,” Harry says. “I’ll probably just go with acoustic, too. And I can play a bit of guitar as well if we need it.”  
  
“I can do percussion,” Ed says. “And we can see what I can work out with my loop pedal.”  
  
Harry smiles, happy for the help. “That sounds brilliant,” he says.  
  
There’s a clattering from Niall’s cubicle and then he’s popping his head over the partition separating him and Ed.  
  
“I want in,” he says.  
  
“Uh,” Harry says, startled. “What? What did you hear?”  
  
“You’re making a CD for your Secret Santa and it sounds awesome, I want to help,” Niall says. “I know a bit about mixing and recording, I studied it for a little while. I can maybe even get you time in a studio. Also I can do instruments.”  
  
“Wow, okay,” Harry says. “That’d be amazing, wow. Can I just – can I ask why?”  
  
Niall laughs. “Sounds fun,” he says. “It’s been ages since I’ve recorded anything.”  
  
Harry nods. Fair enough. “Alright,” he says. “Um, I’ll email you both track lists when I decide. Thanks loads, this is such a big help.”  
  
“No worries, man,” Ed says.  
  
“S’gonna be sick,” Niall grins.

*

Harry spends a whole Saturday just picking the songs. It’s a long and difficult process even though Harry has a bunch of playlists that he’s put together over the past few months to choose from.  
  
He wants to go with songs that resonate with him right now; unfortunately those tend to be the ones about heartbreak and jealousy, and he doesn’t want to be too obvious about his feelings. He can’t think of anything more humiliating than making a CD for Louis that essentially screams ‘ _leave your boyfriend and be with me!!!_ ’ So he rejects Simple Together by Alanis Morissette, and If It Kills Me by Jason Mraz, and Someone Like You by Adele, even though he thinks they all perfectly describe his situation.  
  
_Some_ songs about heartbreak and jealousy are okay, he thinks. He just doesn’t want them to be, like, _completely_ accurate.  
  
He gets fixated on emo songs, because he and Louis both had emo phases as teenagers, before they knew each other, and it’s something they’ve always bonded over. He needs at least one Fall Out Boy song, maybe something by The Used. He spends forever poring over Brand New songs, because they’re Louis’s favourite band and Harry doesn’t know them as well. Although he leans towards The No Seatbelt Song, because it's very fitting, he chooses The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows. He knows that’s Louis’s favourite song, and he likes the title.  
  
He struggles with Dashboard Confessional, a band he got into because of Gemma and then found out Louis also liked years later. There are a lot of songs he relates to, and he’s tossing up between Bend And Not Break, For You To Notice, and Screaming Infidelities. Eventually he decides on Bend And Not Break; he relates to it without it being exactly like his situation, unlike For You To Notice which isn’t subtle enough and Screaming Infidelities which doesn’t quite fit.  
  
He thinks it should get easier when he moves onto songs he doesn’t relate to, but it doesn’t. He knows he wants a Queen song, but takes him forever to choose between I Want to Break Free, Don’t Stop Me Now and Somebody to Love. He eventually settles on Don’t Stop Me Now, but not before he considers scrapping everything and just making an album of Queen covers. Even choosing an old pop princess bop is a problem – like, for example, he's chosen a sad song by Britney, so he wants to pick a fun song by Christina. His first choice is What A Girl Wants, just because he used to like it best, and then he listens to it and – “ _if you love something let it go, if it comes back it’s yours and that’s how you know”_ – like, he’s not even trying to insinuate anything, but the songs sound pointed anyway. He chooses Genie In A Bottle instead, mostly because he thinks it’ll be fun.  
  
In the end he’s pretty happy with what he ends up with, but he feels like something’s missing. He feels like he needs to add in one or two of the songs he’s been writing.  
  
He’s not super confident in his songwriting abilities, is the issue. And he knows Louis’s dabbled in songwriting, which makes it even more intimidating. He only has a few songs that are even finished, and even fewer that also have music written. And those ones make his feelings pretty fucking obvious.  
  
But without them it just doesn’t seem right. Harry decides to record them and decide later.

 

***

 

He sends Ed and Niall his tracklist on Sunday morning. He tells them he knows it’s long, but he can’t narrow it down any further.  
  
_Looks good!_ Niall replies, _and if you want a drummer, I think josh from the warehouse will help.  
  
_ Oh. That’s an option Harry hadn’t thought he’d have. Okay. He looks over his songs again and thinks about it. He thinks he’d like to do half of them acoustic and half not, if possible. He replies to Niall and says he’d love that, tells him which songs he’d like Josh on. He thinks he’ll have the first half acoustic and then the second half regular. He thinks that would sound best.

 

***

 

Throughout the week, during lunch and after work, Harry practices with Ed, Niall and Josh in the space they’ve set up in the back of the warehouse. They keep it as secret as possible, but they practice quite a bit, getting ready to start recording at Niall’s cousin’s studio on Saturday.  
  
Harry gets more and more excited as the week goes on, more comfortable with the songs and with his voice. He has Ed and Niall back him up vocally on the songs that need it, and he thinks this is actually going to sound really good.

 

***

 

On Saturday, when they’re in the studio Niall’s cousin works at, that calm confidence is gone and Harry is full of jitters.  
  
“You’ll be fine, mate,” Ed says. “It’s just us and Niall’s cousin. Just pretend we’re back in the warehouse. You sounded so good yesterday, just forget that we’re recording. There’s no pressure, we’re just playing songs together. You love these songs. It’ll be good.”  
  
The pep talk helps. Harry gets situated in the small studio with his mic and his pages upon pages of song lyrics. They start with The Scientist, by Coldplay, which Harry could sing in his sleep.  
  
Niall’s playing piano for this one, and that’s it, just piano and Harry’s voice. He takes a deep breath before they start and focuses on the lyrics in front of him, nothing else.  
  
He throws himself into it. This song was so overplayed when he was younger, but Harry’s always loved it, and right now he feels like it fits. He tries to put as much emotion into his voice as he can.  
  
_Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard. Oh take me back to the start.  
  
_ When the song finishes, Harry lets out a deep breath. He feels like he’d stopped breathing for the last five minutes.  
  
“That was amazing,” Ed says. He actually looks utterly amazed. “Fuck, Harry. That was beautiful. What’re you worried about?”  
  
“I can’t believe you did that in one take,” Deo, Niall’s cousin says. “Holy shit. Alright. What’s the next one? If it’s gonna be that fast, we might smash them all out today.”  
  
Harry snorts. That doesn’t seem likely.  
  
The next song is Cannonball by Damien Rice. This time it’s just Harry’s voice and Ed on guitar. Harry could technically play the guitar for this one, but they’d agreed he should focus on singing, and besides, Ed loves this song.  
  
Ed starts playing, and it’s an easy song, the same chords over and over, but something about it ignites nostalgia in Harry’s veins. He loved this song as a teenager, another one he owes to Gemma, and then he hadn’t listened to it much until recently. The past six months, he’s listened to it a lot. He feels like it’s _him_.  
  
_Stones taught me to fly. Love taught me to cry. So come on courage, teach me to be shy.  
  
_ The song ends with Ed playing the chords for a little bit after Harry stops singing, but not as long as in the original. They stop, and look up to see Niall with the same expression Ed had had after the last song.  
  
“Fuckin’ hell,” Niall says. “I literally want to cry, that was so beautiful.”  
  
“I don’t even know that song, and you made me feel it,” Josh says.  
  
Harry smiles, warm and pleased. “Thank you,” he says.  
  
He’s starting to feel more confident. Ed was right, and Harry’s finding that for each song he gets lost in his head, lost in the song, and the studio and the pressure disappear.  
  
Everytime by Britney is next, which is just Ed and Niall on guitar and Harry’s voice. It’s such a lovely song, and again it’s one that Harry’s loved for ages. Harry has to focus hard on not straining his voice to hit the high parts, and he feels like his voice could break at any moment. Even though he’s lost in the song, there’s something about this situation -- there’s something so much more intense and raw about singing this in the studio, knowing he’s singing it for Louis.  
  
_What have I done? You seem to move on easy. And every time I try to fly, I fall. Without my wings, I feel so small. I guess I need you baby.  
  
_ Afterwards, Harry lets out another big breath.  
  
“Holy shit,” says Josh.  
  
“What the fuck, Harry, what were you worried about?” Niall demands. “This is just… amazing. I can’t get over how good this is gonna sound.”  
  
“I can’t get over how fast you’ve just recorded three songs,” Deo says. “It’s literally been less than twenty minutes. Most people need a few takes at least.”  
  
Harry bites his lip and doesn’t know what to say to that. He expected to muck up a million times, he doesn’t know why this is going so well. It just feels like he’s in the zone, like they all are.  
  
Next up is Blackbird, the one Beatles song he’d chosen. Again, it’s just Harry singing and Ed on guitar. It’s the first song that Harry doesn’t immediately associate with Louis, but he tries to put as much emotion in it as the others all the same. It’s a lovely song, and it’s short. It’s over before Harry even knows it.  
  
Bend And Not Break is next, and again it’s just Harry and Ed. Ed’s using his loop pedal for this one. Harry’s starting to feel kinda bad, like he should’ve asked Josh to come in later, because he’d known he wanted to try to record in the order they’d be on the CD. But Josh looks content, bopping along with the music and watching Harry with an impressed look on his face. He and Niall are a captive audience, it’s quite flattering.  
  
Harry throws himself into this song, yelling the lyrics a bit more than singing them and trying to express as much emotion as Chris Carrabba does in the original.  
  
_Try to understand there’s an old mistake that fools will make, and I’m the king of them, pushing everything that’s good away so. Won’t you hold me now?  
  
_ Blue and Yellow by The Used is next, which they’re actually using everyone for. Ed’s on guitar, Niall’s got a tambourine, and Josh is set up on a cajon drum to give the song a steady beat. It takes them a few tries to get into the groove of it, a few false starts, which makes Harry think they’d only had an easy run so far because they were doing songs with only two or three people. He thinks the second half of this album’s going to be much harder. But they figure it out after a bit, and it sounds really good once they get going.  
  
It’s a song that he associates with pining and jealousy – blue and yellow make green, green for jealousy, the connection seems pretty clear – and he’s been listening to it a lot lately. He also knows that Louis loves The Used, that they were one of his teenage favourites the same way they were one of Harry’s.  
  
He pushes himself, knowing that he doesn’t sound like Bert and not really trying to, but trying to mimic his style.  
  
_Should’ve said something but I’ve said it enough, by the way my words are fading, rather waste some time with you.  
  
_ “That was brilliant, lads,” Deo says. “I’m seriously so impressed.”  
  
“Thanks,” Harry says with a smile. “So’m I, actually. I think we’re doing quite well.”  
  
Deo snorts. “Bit of an understatement, mate, but yeah. You are. You’re a natural. All of you are.”  
  
“Thank you,” Harry says again, and then they get ready for the next song; I Will Wait by Mumford and Sons.  
  
The original is very up-tempo, fast-paced, but Harry had seen a slow, stripped-down version of it on Youtube, so that’s what they’ve been practicing all week. Just Niall on piano and Ed on guitar.  
  
This is one of the songs that Harry thinks is the most blatant about his feelings. Mostly because of the chorus. Those five words feel very pointed, and Harry’s not sure if it’s just because he knows he will. For as long as Louis wants him to.  
  
_Raise my hands, paint my spirit gold, and bow my head, keep my heart slow. ‘Cause I will wait, I will wait for you.  
  
_ Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd is next, which they do the same as Blue and Yellow; Ed on guitar, Niall on percussion, Josh on the cajon drum. They get the hang of this one much quicker, but Harry thinks they all know the song better.  
  
Harry loves this song, he loves Pink Floyd. He feels like this song encapsulates him and Louis perfectly. Not even just romantically. Although it probably fits all office workers, but that’s not the point. It _really_ fits him and Louis.  
  
_We’re just two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl, year after year. Running over the same old ground, what have we found? The same old fears. Wish you were here.  
  
_ Next is Miss Missing You by Fall Out Boy. They strip it down, so it’s just Ed and Niall on guitars, and Harry personally has been loving practicing this one all week. He loves the song, and he might love it even more acoustic.  
  
It’s a newer Fall Out Boy song, so it’s nostalgic in a different way – not from their teenage emo days, but from 2013 when this album came out. He and Louis obsessed over the album for a good few months. And this song should maybe technically remind him of Xavier, since Harry always used to think of him as his endgame, but… He’s been listening to it a lot over the last few months, and it’s Louis. The concept of someone being your picket fence, Harry loves that metaphor, and Louis is his picket fence. Or the closest thing to it he has.  
  
_I will sing to you every day if it will take away the pain. Oh and I heard you got it, got it so bad, ‘cause I am the best you never had. Baby you were my picket fence, I miss missing you now and then.  
  
_ After that, they’re up to one of Harry’s songs, which means they’re just about halfway through. Harry checks the time as he’s getting a drink of water and finds that they’ve only been here for two hours. He really thought it would take much longer to get through half the album.  
  
The first song they’re doing of Harry’s, the acoustic one, is called Don’t Let Me Go. Harry wrote it only a few months ago; he probably started working on it back in July, and finished it around September. It’s about Louis. Of course it’s about Louis. Everything Harry’s ever written has been about Louis, he thinks.  
  
_Seems like these days I watch you from afar, just trying to make you understand. I’ll keep my eyes wide open…  
  
_ “And we’ve finished the acoustic part,” Niall crows.  
  
“Way ahead of schedule,” adds Deo. “D’you want to do a few of the others? See how you go? I think they’ll take longer tomorrow, so we may as well bang out a few now.”  
  
That sounds like a good idea, so they start setting up for Happily. This is the other original of Harry’s, and it actually wasn’t totally finished until this week when Ed helped him with the music. There’s a pretty steady drum part, so this is both the first song today that Josh is getting behind a drum kit for, and also the most important one, Harry thinks. He’s been good during their practices, though, so Harry’s feeling confident.  
  
The song, which he’d started writing only a couple of months ago, is definitely about Louis and Greg. Harry thinks it’s pretty obvious, maybe the most of obvious of all his song choices, but he couldn’t help including it. He’s proud of it, and if anything’s a representation of his feelings right now, this song is.  
  
It doesn’t quite reflect their reality; it’s more about being with someone and watching them with someone else. There are more obstacles in the song than there are in real life, where the problem is basically just that Louis doesn’t seem to want to be with Harry. Harry’s favourite line, though, about being meant to be but for a twist of fate, definitely feels like reality. And the jealousy in the song is exactly Harry’s feelings every single day.  
  
_You know I wanna be the one to hold you when you sleep. I just want it to be you and I forever.  
  
_ Their first run through with Happily is good, Harry’s satisfied with it, so they attempt Mr Brightside next. Harry loves that he’s putting this song after Happily, because he feels like they partner together very well. They’re both about jealousy.  
  
He knows Louis likes The Killers, knows he loves this song. Doesn’t everyone? Harry fucking loves it. He loves that he relates to it and that it’s clearly similar to Happily, but he also feels like the female pronouns are a safety net. He keeps them, despite wanting to queer up every song he ever sings, because he feels like it gives him plausible deniability.  
  
_It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this? It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss.  
  
_ “Do we wanna stop there?” Harry asks when they’ve finished. “I feel like we’ve done amazingly today, I don’t want to burn us out.”  
  
“Twelve songs in less than three hours, boys,” Deo says. “That’s fucking outstanding.”  
  
“It really is,” Ed says. “Although acoustic is always easier.”  
  
“And we practiced so much this week I thought my arms might fall off,” Josh says.  
  
“I think we can get through eight tomorrow,” says Niall.  
  
Harry nods. “Alright, cool,” he says. “Thanks so much for today guys. This was so… So amazing. Amazing doesn’t even describe it.”  
  
“It was definitely amazing watching you,” Ed says. “You’re, like, fucking magnetic, mate.”  
  
The others agree with him and Harry ducks his head, embarrassed. He’s glad they’re enjoying themselves, at any rate.  
  
And it really was an amazing day. It was almost cathartic, belting out these songs that have reminded him of Louis for months. It felt like an outlet for all of his jealousy and sadness. His wasted heart feels a little bit patched up.

*

On Sunday, they do The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows, Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year, Calling All Skeletons, Use Somebody, Don’t Stop Me Now, Genie In A Bottle, Hurricane Drunk, and Against All Odds.  
  
It’s an exhausting day, but Harry feels so fucking proud and satisfied when they’re finished. He’s sang these songs too many times, is too used to them to really be able to recognise if he’s being too obvious anymore – he thinks the message is probably clear across the album if Louis cares to see it – but he doesn’t care. It’s a fucking good album, he thinks, after Deo plays it for them. Harry loves it. He thinks Louis will like it too.

*

Harry writes up a tracklist and puts it in the back of the CD case. Then he writes across the CD, _because I promised_ , and puts it in the case. He doesn’t add anything to the front, so the writing on the CD is visible through the case, and he wraps it up just like that.  
  
He’s anxious going into the office, and all day waiting for Secret Santa. He’s especially anxious when it starts, when they’re all sitting in a circle waiting for Liam to give them their gifts. Harry spares a moment to wonder whether Ben stuck to the budget this year, and then goes right back to worrying.  
  
He gets his present before Louis does, which – Harry’s been so preoccupied with Louis’s present, he’d completely forgotten he’d be getting one of his own. He opens the wrapping to find a beautiful floral printed scarf. It's silk, and Harry gasps when he takes a look and realises it’s Gucci. From a few seasons ago, but still. Fucking Gucci. There are a few different bottles of nail polish in there too, in colours that match the scarf.  
  
Harry looks up, gaping at his coworkers. “Is this actually Gucci?” he asks.  
  
He sees some eyebrows raise; oh Jesus. Harry fervently hopes that this is not from Ben. And then his eyes catch on Lou Teasdale, who’s pressing her lips together, clearly trying not to laugh.  
  
“Lou!” Harry cries. He sees Louis jump out of the corner of his eye, but he ignores him for the moment. “Explain yourself!”  
  
She’s a single mum. How on earth could she buy him a Gucci scarf?  
  
“Settle down, love, I saw it in a charity shop,” she says. “I promise it was actually under budget. It was a steal, was quite amazing really. I don't think they knew what they had. But I knew you had to have it, thought you deserved something nice.”  
  
Harry’s heart melts. It's almost unbelievable that she'd find something so beautiful for so cheap, and that she'd give it to him instead of keeping it for herself. Maybe there are more people who care about him than he thought.  
  
“Thank you so much,” he says, holding it against his chest. “I love it.”  
  
“Alright,” Liam says. “Greg, your turn.”  
  
Greg unwraps his present; Harry’s barely paying attention, preoccupied with his scarf.  
  
Then Greg laughs loudly and says, “Well, this could only be from Louis.”  
  
Harry’s head whips over to look, expecting… Well. He doesn’t know what he expects. Something as lovely as Louis’s gift to him last year, definitely. Instead he sees a DVD. Harry squints at it and sees that it’s Avatar. The movie from 2008. What.  
  
Louis laughs and so does Greg. “We watched this movie a while back, we both hate it,” Greg explains.  
  
Liam looks offended, and he throws Louis’s present at him. Harry’s heart jumps in his chest, but Louis catches it. At least it’s not very breakable.  
  
Louis tears into the wrapping paper and then pauses. He’s clearly reading the front of the CD, and then he looks up and his eyes meet Harry’s.  
  
“You didn’t,” he says, no inflection. Harry can’t tell if he’s pleased or not.  
  
“Um, yeah,” Harry says. “I did. I said I would, so.”  
  
Louis’s eyes widen, and he turns over the case to see the back. Harry can see his mouth drop open. “Twenty songs?” he softly exclaims.  
  
“I couldn’t narrow it down, sorry,” Harry says, and when Louis looks at him there’s no questioning if he’s happy.  
  
Then Louis launches out of his seat and pulls Harry to his feet, and then he gives Harry a hug, right there in front of everyone. Harry stiffens, and then relaxes into it, just when Louis pulls away and happily goes back to his seat. Harry takes a second to sit back down.  
  
“Wow, a mix CD, what an amazing present,” Liam says, rolling his eyes. “I didn't realise it was 2005.”  
  
Louis doesn’t even pay him any attention, he’s staring at the back of the case, looking at the song titles. Harry is both excited and nervous for him to listen to it.

*

Late that night, Louis texts him.  
  
_Wow, Harry. I don’t even know what to say. That was amazing. Phenomenal. I actually think you should put them online and sell them or something, they’re so good. Thank you so much for giving me this. You’re too good, I’m so lucky to know you. Best present ever. Happy Christmas x  
  
_ Harry rereads it about five times, nearly falling out of bed he’s shaking so hard with excitement. This is the nicest thing Louis has said to him in such a long time, and just – Louis doesn’t hate it, he isn’t being weird about Harry essentially singing about his heartbreak… it’s good. This is so good.  
  
_You’re very welcome,_ he replies. _Thanks so much for saying that. I’m so so glad you liked it. Dunno about putting them online haha but thanks. Merry Christmas, and happy birthday. H xx  
  
_ Louis takes a while to reply, and then he just says _Thanks love xx_ , but Harry falls asleep smiling anyway.

 

***

 

Part of Harry hopes that things will be different in January, after that. But they’re not. Louis’s friendly, and that’s good, but he clearly hasn’t dumped Greg and he’s not confessing his feelings for Harry.  
  
Harry’s pretty much given up on that ever happening. The CD was blatantly obvious, and if Louis’s not making a move, it’s because he doesn’t want to. He’s over Harry.  
  
They’re at the January company retreat, at a bowling alley where the theme is bowling over the competition and/or the customer, Harry’s not quite sure. He hasn’t been paying attention, he’s been watching Greg help Louis bowl.  
  
Harry needs some air.  
  
After a few minutes out the front, he’s shivering and he’s about to go back inside. And then Meredith comes out. Because she’s come along. Because she’s in Manchester all the time now that she and Ben are officially dating.  
  
“You know,” Meredith says. “I’ve been meaning to have a little chat with you. You know I’m with Ben, yeah?”  
  
“Um, yeah?” Harry says, confused. He’s pretty sure everyone knows.  
  
“Okay, good,” Meredith says. “I just wanted to make sure.”  
  
“He talks about you a lot,” Harry offers.  
  
“He talks about you a lot too,” Meredith says. “So I just wanted to be clear, you know. He’s with me.”  
  
Oh God. Oh no. Is she actually suggesting…  
  
“And he’s straight,” she adds. “So just, I don’t know, maybe back off? You’re looking a bit desperate, babe.”  
  
“I’m not into Ben,” Harry says, absolutely horrified. “Oh my God.”  
  
“That’s not what it sounds like,” Meredith says. “I’ve heard all the little stories, I know you used to have feelings for him. I just need you to know it’s pointless.”  
  
“ _Trust me_ ,” Harry says, so distressed by the mere idea of him being remotely attracted to Ben. “I’m not interested. At all. Ever.”  
  
“Okay,” Meredith says, rolling her eyes. “Sounds like the lady doth protest too much.”  
  
“Only because I’m actually horrified by the idea,” Harry says. Meredith looks a bit insulted, so he backpedals. “I mean, he’s my boss. And straight, like you said, like, I’d never bother to have feelings for a straight guy. And he obviously loves you! So, like you said. Pointless.”  
  
“Alright,” Meredith says, mollified. “So long as we’re on the same page.”  
  
“I swear to you,” Harry says. “I will never see Ben that way.”  
  
“Okay then,” Meredith says, and stalks away. Harry sags against the wall.  
  
What the _actual ever-loving godforsaken fuck_ was that?

 

***

 

After that, Ben went to Thailand for three weeks. It was perfect. Louis, being Assistant Manager now, had taken over for him temporarily, and Harry thinks things have gone really smoothly with him in charge. Liam's hated it, unsurprisingly, but everyone else has seemed to work better without Ben distracting them.  
  
But Ben's back today. Harry's prepared to get absolutely nothing done; the day Ben comes back from holiday, he always insists on making them relive his trip with him.   
  
And Harry's right: within ten minutes of being back at work, Ben's got them all in the conference room, his laptop hooked up to the projector. He says he's put together a video for them to watch.  
  
The video is made up of photos and recordings, and it goes for about twenty minutes. Meredith had gone with him, which nobody had known about for sure, so there's a lot of footage of her in swimwear. It's uncomfortable, viewing it at work; she's their boss. The video is mostly of the both of them around their expensive-looking resort, at a Full Moon Party, riding elephants, cuddling with tigers, and taking selfies in a temple. Honestly, all of it is uncomfortable to watch; they look like insensitive white tourists, and a lot of the things they're doing are things Harry's pretty sure you're not supposed to do.  
  
Ben beams at them all when the video finishes. "Any questions?"  
  
"Uh," says Leigh Anne. "I think it's generally, like, frowned upon, to ride the elephants and stuff? I thought it was common knowledge that those sorts of touristy things involve a lot of animal cruelty?"  
  
Ben scoffs. "Uh, no," he says. "We went to animal conservations. They weren't abused, trust me."  
  
Harry doesn't understand how he could know that.  
  
"I think it's pretty well-known that even those places should be avoided," Jesy says. "Pretty sure there's a huge amount of corruption in them."  
  
"You're wrong," Ben says. "When did you go to Thailand? When have any of you been to Thailand? I think I know more than you on this."  
  
"Why'd you take selfies in the temple?" Greg asks. "That seems disrespectful."  
  
Ben groans. "I wish I was still in Thailand," he says. "Everyone there was so sweet and gracious. They didn't criticise everything I did."  
  
"You mean subservient, because you went to all the places where you knew you'd be treated like a rich white man," Steve says.  
  
Ben laughs uncomfortably. "I'm not rich," he says. "And Asians aren't subservient. Don't be so hard on yourself, Steve."  
  
Holy shit. Harry blinks. Steve takes a deep breath, and looks at the ceiling like he's got to ignore Ben if he wants to keep his job.  
  
"Are you practising meditation?" Ben asks, excited.  
  
"No," Steve grits out.  
  
"Oh, you should!" Ben says. "I learned all about it!"  
  
"Tell us about the Full Moon Party," Harry says, because Steve looks about ten seconds away from punching Ben in the face.  
  
"Oh, it was amazing," Ben says. "Just like a giant rave. In fact - why don't we have one here? To celebrate my return?"  
  
"Because it's not a full moon? Or even nighttime?" Louis says.  
  
"That's not important," Ben dismisses. "We'll just turn off the lights in the warehouse and splash glow in the dark paint everywhere. Everyone can wear neon! And we need a feast, we need the five basic flavours - salty, sweet, sour, and... there are two more, look them up. Alright Harry, Jesy?"  
  
"You want to do this today?" Jesy asks. "We can't throw together a Full Moon Party in a few hours."  
  
"It'll be hard, but you can handle it," Ben says, and then he grins. "That's what she said."

*

By some sort of miracle, they manage to throw the party together. Greg and Jade help, so Harry ends up spending a chunk of his day with Greg, which he didn't expect. When they're just about finished, and Jade and Jesy have gone back upstairs to invite everyone down, Greg says, "So, how's everything going?"  
  
"What d'you mean?" Harry asks.  
  
"You seem to be keeping to yourself lately," Greg says. "Are you back with Xavier?"  
  
"God, no," Harry says. Xavier had been fired after that whole incident. Harry hasn't even heard from him since.  
  
"Do you and Louis talk much?" Greg asks.  
  
Harry frowns. "I dunno," he says. He wants to say _not as much as we used to_ , but he doesn't want to sound bitter. "We're friends, so."  
  
"Right," says Greg. "Well, he really liked that CD you made him for Christmas."  
  
"Yeah?" Harry says, his stomach rolling. It only just occurs to him that Greg might have heard it. That's a horrifically embarrassing thought.  
  
"Mm," Greg says, fussing with the streamers they've thrown around. "I mean, I haven't heard it, but I know he listens to it all the time."  
  
Right. Okay. Harry tries to keep breathing. "Well, I'm glad he liked it," he says. He listens to it _all the time_?  
  
"He told me about what happened between the two of you," Greg says, suddenly looking at Harry dead on. "The kiss, and everything."  
  
Harry swallows. "He did?"  
  
"I just didn't want it to be weird, if you have feelings for him."  
  
"Oh, I - I don't," Harry says, flustered. "No. You guys are good together, I'm not... No. I don't. It's not weird."  
  
"Okay," Greg says, still eyeing him, and then Louis comes downstairs with the rest of the group. Harry watches as Greg walks over to him and gives him a quick kiss. Harry's heart plummets.  
  
He has to get out.

*

Harry's sat in the empty back room of the warehouse. He can't stop crying. God. He's shaken by that conversation, and he's heartbroken, and - it's just been such a long six months. Harry's so overwhelmed, and so fucking _sad_.  
  
Someone comes into the room and makes a noise of surprise. Harry looks up to see Liam.  
  
"Who hurt you?" he demands. Harry almost laughs.  
  
"No one," Harry says. "I mean, physically I'm fine. Emotionally, I'm..." He bites his lip, but it doesn't stop a fresh wave of tears from falling.  
  
Liam comes over and sits next to Harry. He offers him a tissue from the box on the desk.  
  
"Thanks," Harry says.  
  
"S'okay," Liam says. "Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
Harry shakes his head. He can't.  
  
Liam starts to rub Harry's back, and that sets him off again. He can't believe he's being comforted by Liam of all people.   
  
They sit there in the back room for about half an hour, until Harry starts to calm down. He's so bewildered by Liam being so nice to him. Maybe this is payback for Harry always listening to his Zayn-related problems. Eventually Harry stops feeling confused by it and just starts to feel better.  
  
And he comes to a conclusion. There's nothing for him here. Maybe it's time he applied to that internship in London, the one Meredith told him about a year ago. He's got literally nothing left to lose.

 

***

 

Louis comes into work one Friday with his hair a little bit shorter and styled into a quiff. He’s clean-shaven, which is rare, and he’s wearing a plaid shirt buttoned up to the top. He’s wearing straight-leg jeans and clunky brown work boots. It’s not that he doesn’t look good, because he really does – although Harry’s pretty sure he’d find Louis attractive no matter what he was wearing. It’s just that what he’s wearing is the exact same thing Liam has worn every casual Friday for the last seven years.  
  
Harry tries very hard to keep a straight face. Louis raises his eyebrows at him, but otherwise he says nothing. He sits down opposite Liam and puts his briefcase down – Louis doesn’t use a briefcase, and this one is identical to Liam’s.  
  
He pulls a Captain America POP Vinyl figurine out of the briefcase and puts it next to his computer, in Liam’s line of sight, as well as a mug from the fire station’s annual fundraiser. That may actually be Liam’s.  
  
It’s so hilarious seeing them sat opposite one another. Harry’s pretty sure their shirts are the exact same pattern, just Liam’s are in shades of red while Louis is in shades of green. It’s like a weird mirror image otherwise. It’s amazing.  
  
Liam’s barely paid him any attention. Louis says, “I have an important question.” He’s got Liam’s accent dead on.  
  
“Yeah?” Liam says, still not really looking away from his computer.  
  
“Team Cap or Team Iron Man?” Louis asks seriously.  
  
“Well, they both make good points,” Liam says. “I guess in the end, though, Tony’s right that they need to be held accountable – and you know how I feel about Robert Downey Jr – ”  
  
“False,” Louis says. “It’s Cap’s movie, so we’re obviously supposed to side with him. Plus, he’s proven right when Tony teams up with him. And the government is obviously untrustworthy in the MCU.”  
  
Liam finally looks at Louis properly. He frowns. “What are you…”  
  
“Also, Tony’s only saying that because he’s guilty over the mess _he_ made. Which he completely invalidates when he recruits a teenager.”  
  
Harry completely agrees. This is basically the exact conversation he's had with Louis in his head since the Civil War trailer came out.  
  
“What’s going on? Why are you,” Liam scrunches his face up. “Why are you dressed like that?”  
  
“Like what?” Louis looks down at his shirt. “This is my normal casual Friday outfit.”  
  
“Uh, no, it isn’t,” Liam says. “And why are you talking like that?”  
  
“Wow, you really don’t head out to Wolverhampton much, do you?”  
  
“What are you – what do you know about Wolverhampton?”  
  
“Well, a lot, I’d say,” Louis says. “Seeing as I grew up there.”  
  
“What – that’s not funny,” Liam says.  
  
Louis pulls a framed photo out of his briefcase. Harry sees it briefly before he turns it around – it looks like Liam’s family. “Did I show you this cute family photo we took last weekend?”  
  
Liam lets out a mild scream and stands up, storming towards Ben’s office and yelling his name. Louis does the same thing. Harry finally lets himself laugh. Louis hasn't pranked Liam in forever, Harry hadn't realised how much he missed it.  
  
Unfortunately for Liam, Ben also finds it hilarious. Unfortunately for Louis, he decides that Louis should hang out with him and act like Liam all day. Louis gives it up by ten o’clock.

 

***

 

Every year, on a random workday in June, the office travels forty-five minutes out to Blackpool to spend a day at the beach. It’s creatively called Beach Day, and it’s pretty much always a good time.  
  
This year, Ben has inexplicably moved Beach Day up to the first week in April. _April_. Temperatures are still below ten degrees. Harry has no idea why on earth he thought that was a good idea.  
  
On the actual day of Beach Day, it’s supposed to reach a high of fifteen degrees. Harry wears his yellow swim shorts, but he also wears a shirt and a jacket. He has a feeling his legs are going to freeze.  
  
Louis’s wearing joggers and a jumper, because he gets cold easy, Harry knows. This is actually the main reason Harry’s disappointed about the date change – he knows he probably won’t get to see Louis in his swimmers. And Louis wasn’t here for Beach Day last year. It’s hugely unfair that Harry’s finally aware of his feelings for Louis, finally acknowledging them, and he’s not been able to ogle him properly. Harry’s pretty sure the universe has it out for him.  
  
Ben corners Harry before they leave and tells him that he wants Harry to be taking notes the entire day, that it’s a special Beach Day and he absolutely needs to evaluate everyone. Which… what the fuck, but it’s also absolutely typical. Harry’s whole life is note-taking by this point, he should be used to it.  
  
But it’s just -- of course he doesn’t get to enjoy this April Beach Day in any way. Like, freezing temperatures, fully-clothed Louis, evaluations, diligent note-taking. Absolutely the most fun Beach Day yet.

*

Harry sits with Niall and Ed on the bus trip, which is good because they lead a group singalong and Harry can ignore Louis and Greg sitting together in the back.  
  
Ben has a speech about having special tasks planned, important mandatory fun activities, that most everyone rolls their eyes at. He comes back to Harry to ask if he’d taken note of what everyone’s reactions were. Harry hasn’t, because he didn’t realise he should.  
  
“For God’s sake, I want thorough notes, I said,” Ben says. “C’mon, Harry, get it together.”  
  
When they get off the bus, Ben corners Harry again and tells him to pay extra close attention to Liam, Louis, James, and Nick. Harry’s honestly not sure if that makes his job easier or harder.  
  
Ben divides them into teams, with each person he'd mentioned to Harry a team captain. It’s pretty clear that he’s pitting those four people against each other, although Harry’s not sure why. Ben has the team captains pick their teams, a ritual Harry’s sure he hasn’t witnessed since secondary school, and then he has them name their groups.  
  
“We’re Team Gryffindor,” says Liam proudly, as if he’s come up with the very best possible name. He gestures to Zayn, Niall, and Oli, who are his teammates. Zayn looks disgruntled, but Niall looks happy. Zayn probably thinks of himself as a Slytherin, Harry thinks.  
  
“Well, we’re Team Voldemort,” Louis says, and Greg, Steve, and Jade snicker behind him.  
  
Liam’s mouth drops open. “You shouldn't say that,” he says.  
  
“Voldemort, Voldemort,” Louis starts chanting, and his team join in. Harry smiles and writes ‘team spirit’ next to Louis’s name.  
  
Liam’s still yelling about how they shouldn’t be saying that as Ben silences them. Harry writes ‘afraid of fictional villains’ next to Liam’s name.  
  
“We’re going with Girl Power,” Nick says. His team has the most women in it, with Perrie, Jesy and Leigh Anne.  
  
Ben snorts and calls him a girl, then adds, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.” Harry writes ‘feminism’ next to Nick’s name.  
  
“We’re the Golden Oldies,” says James. Caroline and Lou nod from beside him.  
  
“Maybe Ed should swap with Steve,” Ben suggests. “To make it work.”  
  
“Sheeran's wise beyond his years,” James laughs. “And he keeps us young.”  
  
“Those are conflicting statements,” says Ed.

“Harry, write down that James can't take constructive criticism,” Ben says.  
  
Harry writes ‘can make fun of himself’ next to James’s name.  
  
They play blindfolded egg and spoon, wheelbarrow races, and a couple of heated games of dodgeball. Ben’s using four different point systems, so by the end, Team Gryffindor has 47 points, Team Voldemort has fifty smiley faces, Team Girl Power has twelve gold stars, and Team Golden Oldies has eight thumbs ups. Harry really has no idea how to compare those or make any sense of them, so when Ben asks who’s winning, he says they’re all tied.  
  
Ben sighs and pulls out his phone. “Hi, this is Ben Winston,” he says. “We’re ready for it now.”  
  
“Ready for what?” Harry asks when he hangs up.  
  
“You’ll see,” Ben says. “Have you cooked the sausages yet?”  
  
“The two hundred sausages you gave me five minutes ago?” Harry asks. “No, I haven’t.”  
  
“Well, get to it,” Ben says. “It’s time for the next funtivity!”  
  
Harry wishes he’d stop saying that.

* 

In the middle of a hotdog eating contest that nobody is really trying very hard at, a few guys come down onto the beach and lay out a heap of pebbles. Which they then light on fire.  
  
“Is that a coal walk?” Leigh Anne asks, craning her neck.  
  
Everyone looks over and starts talking at once. The guys finish setting up and leave, and nobody else arrives.  
  
“Is… is that for us, Ben?” Harry asks.  
  
“Um,” Ben says, which is an answer in itself.  
  
“What the hell,” Louis says. “What is going on today, Ben? Why have you come up with these bizarre activities?”  
  
“Funtivities,” Ben says.  
  
“I’m not calling them that,” says Louis.  
  
“Fine!” Ben yells. “There’s a job opening up at Corporate, and I’m interviewing for it on Monday. I’m supposed to bring my recommendation for who could run this branch, but frankly you’ve all disappointed me today. Nobody has shown any real initiative and you’ve all complained the entire time. You didn’t take anything seriously.”  
  
“Well that’s probably because it’s Beach Day and we thought we were supposed to be having a fun, relaxing day at the beach,” Louis says. “Plus, I mean, you called them funtivities.”  
  
“Wait,” Liam says. “You’re really trying to figure out who should get your job?”  
  
“Yes,” says Ben.  
  
“And the funtivities – this hotdog eating competition – that’s going to help you decide?”  
  
“It’s supposed to,” Ben says.  
  
Liam picks up a hotdog and shoves it in his mouth in two bites. Zayn looks oddly impressed, which Harry really doesn’t want to think about, and then he and Niall pick up their hotdogs too. Suddenly everyone at the table is stuffing their face with hotdogs. It’s kind of absolutely nauseating.

*

After Liam’s team wins the hotdog eating contest, and Harry thoroughly loses his appetite, Ben leads them over to the coal walk. The fire is gleaming underneath the pebbles, and it makes Harry shiver to think how hot it must be.  
  
“Being a manager takes courage,” Ben says. “It takes guts, to stand up when nobody else will. That’s what being a leader is all about.”  
  
Nobody says anything. They’re all just staring at him. Harry’s pretty sure they’re all trying to figure out if he’s actually serious.  
  
Louis and James end up goading Ben into trying it himself, by convincing him that he can’t judge them for something he’s never done. Ben spends literally ten minutes trying to psych himself up, and in that time, as Harry watches him, the anticipation and anxiety kind of build in his stomach. It feels like he’s about to do the coal walk himself.  
  
Holy shit. He thinks he might want to do the coal walk.  
  
“I’ll do it, if you don’t want to,” Harry volunteers before he can convince himself not to.  
  
“No,” Ben says. “I’m only considering people with a sales background.”  
  
“No, I just mean,” Harry says, shrugging. “I just want to do it.”  
  
“Well you can’t,” says Ben. “That’s not what this is about, and besides, I’m about to do it.”  
  
Ten more minutes later, and he still hasn’t moved. Liam kicks off his shoes and moves in front of the coal walk.  
  
“I’ll do it Ben,” he says. “To prove I have what it takes. I’ve been inside a burning building, this won’t be much different.”  
  
He takes a deep breath and steps onto the coal walk. Then he screams and jumps off into the sand.  
  
“No, nope, absolutely not,” Liam yells. “That was fucking horrific. Nobody should go anywhere near that!”  
  
“I agree,” Ben says immediately. “I don’t know what I was thinking. C’mon, let’s get you a bucket of water.”  
  
Ben leads everyone over to the campfire, Zayn and Niall looping their arms around Liam and hobbling with him. Harry can hear Ben talking loudly about how actually, the thing that matters most is charisma, so he wants each potential manager to wow him with a speech. Preferably a funny speech.  
  
Harry really doesn’t care about that anymore. He stays by the coal walk, staring at the glowing coals, at the fire flickering up the sides. He still thinks he could do it.  
  
He’s been trying so hard to become a more fulfilled person. A more honest, courageous, raw person. He feels like he’s been shedding all the parts of himself that are holding him back. And he just imagines that doing this coal walk would feel like properly letting go.  
  
He breathes, and he looks up at the sky. Night has fallen, and the stars are out. It’s a beautiful clear night, and Harry just feels so special, looking at the stars. The universe is so vast and beautiful, and he’s lucky enough to exist in it. It makes him feel like he should be living his fullest life.  
  
Harry takes one last breath and then he runs across the coals. His feet are burning, but after a few seconds he stops feeling it. He just feels like he’s flying. When his feet touch the cool sand, Harry stops and breathes and feels like his head is clearer than it’s ever been.  
  
When he turns around, he sees everyone around the campfire staring at him. Honest, courageous, raw. He makes his way across the sand.  
  
“Harry,” Louis says, looking completely stunned. “Are you okay?”  
  
“I’m better than I’ve ever been,” Harry says, and he means it. He’s euphoric. “I just walked across burning coals. Ben, Liam – none of you could do that, and I did it. I feel like I can do fucking anything.” He takes a deep breath and looks around. “You know what. So many of you didn’t come to my photography exhibit. That really sucked. I’m sure most of you knew how much that mattered to me, and still – you didn’t come. I thought I was friends with a bunch of you but that night I realised just how alone I am. Sometimes I feel like I don’t matter at all, like I’m just furniture in the office, or background noise.” It’s weird to be monologuing in front of the entire office, but Harry’s on a roll. He feels outside of his body, almost, like he could just spew out the contents of his brain and not give a damn what anyone thinks about it. He turns to Louis. “And it really sucks that I feel like I don’t matter to you anymore, Lou. You were my best friend. And I know why things went weird for us and I get it, you’ve moved on and you feel sorry for me, but fuck – you were probably the most important person in my life for so long. And now suddenly you’re not there, and I miss you even when you’re right in front of me, which is the most cliché thing – and it just sucks. I mean, I know I called off my wedding for you and maybe that’s awkward but it’s been almost a year. It’s been the worst year of my life. I just want you any way I can have you, I miss you so bad.”  
  
Louis’s mouth is hanging open, and somehow it’s the shock on his face that brings Harry back to Earth. He can feel his feet again.  
  
“My feet really hurt,” he says. “But I’m glad this happened. I feel so much freer now.” He smiles. “I’m gonna go sit in the water.”  
  
He hobbles away, to the water, and walks along the shore until he reaches a rather large pile of rocks to sit on and soak his feet. The cold water helps numb them, and Harry tips his head back and looks up at the sky. He kind of wants to cry, but not because he’s sad. He just feels so overwhelmed. He’s needed to say those things for a really long time.

*

Harry really doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting here. His feet are definitely numb, but he kind of doesn’t want to get out of the water until they have to leave. He knows he’s going to be in a lot of pain.  
  
Ben’s still got everyone talking around the campfire. Harry’s not paying them any attention; he can’t even see them properly from here. He’s just been sitting and staring at the stars and feeling like he’s accomplished something. He’s shed off his last layer of self-doubt, maybe.  
  
Someone sits down beside him.  
  
“Jesus this water’s freezing,” Louis says, pulling his feet up onto the rock and holding his knees to his chest.  
  
“Feels nice,” Harry says.  
  
“Yeah, I bet,” says Louis. He doesn’t say anything for a minute, and Harry doesn’t either. Harry kind of feels like he’s said everything now. “Me and Greg just broke up.”  
  
Harry’s heart drops into his stomach then leaps up into his throat. “You what?”  
  
“Things haven’t been good for a long time,” Louis says. “It was really a matter of time – he knows I still have feelings for you, so with you saying all that – if you actually, y’know, feel the same – he was just like, what’s the point.”   
  
Harry’s just stuck on _I still have feelings for you_. “You do?” he asks, turning his body to face Louis as much as he can without taking his feet out of the water.  
  
“I mean, yeah,” Louis says. He turns to face Harry as well, dropping his knees so that he’s sitting cross-legged. “I was in love with you for three years, that wasn’t just going to go away. I tried really hard to move on – ”  
  
“ _Why?_ ” Harry asks, so confused. “I mean, after you found out I broke up with Xavier. Why didn’t you… I expected you to say something.”  
  
Louis frowns. “You rejected me,” he points out. “And you didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what it meant, so I thought – you knew how I felt. I thought you’d talk to me if you’d actually called off your wedding for me.”  
  
Harry looks down at the water, annoyed with himself. He really hadn’t seen it that way at all. “I guess I thought it was obvious how I felt,” he says. “I thought it was so obvious I called it off because of you, that you’d see it for the gesture I thought it was. In my mind, the ball was in your court. I’m sorry.”  
  
Louis takes his hand. “I’m sorry too,” he says.  
  
Harry doesn’t really see what he has to be sorry for. And he still feels like he needs to explain himself. “Plus, you ran away to Greg,” he says. “I thought you must have moved on. I thought I was your Xavier.”  
  
Louis looks upset. “Oh, no, sweetheart,” he says. “You’re my Harry.”  
  
Harry’s heart flutters. “And you’re my Louis.”  
  
“I’ve never, ever been serious about Greg,” Louis says. “I tried, I really did, but in the end, all I’ve ever really done is use him to distract myself from you.”  
  
“I don’t know if that’s awful or romantic,” Harry says, trying not to smile.  
  
“Both?” Louis offers.  
  
Harry smiles. “Okay,” he says. He looks down at their clasped hands, runs his thumb across Louis’s knuckles. Somehow just this means more than anything. “Why didn’t you say anything after Christmas? I thought the CD was so obvious.”  
  
“You were – those were really for me?” Louis asks, his eyes wide. “I thought – I mean, they were mostly break-up songs. I thought you were upset about Xavier, you just recorded it because I asked for it.”  
  
“ _Lou_ ,” Harry says, completely shocked. “I recorded them for _you_. That’s how I felt about _you_.”  
  
“Holy fuck,” Louis gapes. “I just – shit. I didn’t see it that way at all.”  
  
“I s’pose I can’t blame you,” Harry says with a sigh. “I’m sorry I wasted so much time being scared – like, scared of change, scared of rejection, scared of my own feelings… I feel like I’ve hurt you so much and I don’t know how to deal with that.”  
  
“No, kitten, it’s okay,” Louis says, his eyes kind and shining, and Harry’s heart soars because it seems like the petnames are really, truly back. “I reckon you’ve done a good deal of hurting this last year yourself.”  
  
He’s not wrong. “Yeah,” Harry says.  
  
“So, we’ll call it even,” Louis says. “And try not to hurt each from here on out.”  
  
“And…” Harry feels himself flush. “What is here on out? Like. What do you want to do?”  
  
“I want you,” Louis says. “All I’ve ever wanted is you.”  
  
“I want you too,” Harry says. “Just… you know, to be clear…”  
  
“Right,” Louis says, smiling. “Well, in the interest of total clarity. I want to be your boyfriend, and I’d very much like to kiss you right now.”  
  
And Louis’s only just broken up with his boyfriend, who happens to still be somewhere on this very beach, so maybe it’s not the best time. But it’s dark, and all Harry can think is _kiss you kiss you kiss you_ , and so he leans forward, bracing himself on Louis’s knees, and brushes his lips against Louis’s.  
  
Louis’s mouth catches his almost instantly, and there’s something magical in the slide of Louis’s lips against his. Harry had felt it the last time they’d kissed, but it’s so much more now because he’s letting himself feel it. He feels like he’s sparkling from head to toe, and if spending the rest of his life on this freezing rock was the only way he could have Louis, he’d fucking do it.  
  
Kissing Louis is the best thing Harry’s ever done. His hands on Harry’s jaw are sharp points of heat, and his tongue is soft and electric all at once. He tastes like hotdogs and beer, and Harry doesn’t even care. It’s so fucking amazing to be kissing him without the blanket of alcohol, without the guilt of being in a relationship with someone else. This is the first time they’ve kissed that Harry is able to just thoroughly enjoy it.  
  
Now that he’s finally got this, he doesn’t ever want it to stop.  
  
He has to pull away eventually, though, because there’s something very important he has to say. “In the interest of total clarity, I want to be your boyfriend too.”  
  
Louis smiles, wide and happy, his eyes crinkly half-moons. Harry is so in love with him he can’t even breathe.

 

*****

 


	4. Perfect

**2017.**

_we were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was  
_ _I will not give you up this time  
_ _but darling just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own  
_ _and in your eyes you’re holding mine_

The thing about dating the person you’ve already spent four years in love with is that it feels like you’ll never leave the honeymoon phase. Like, Louis is pretty sure he knows everything there is to know about Harry. They might have silly fights, but there’s not going to be any dealbreakers. And every day is as exciting as the first day.  
  
People had said that he had put Harry on a pedestal. That if they did finally date, Harry wouldn’t live up to his expectations. Louis is so happy that those people were wrong. Dating Harry is everything Louis thought it would be and so much better. He’s pretty sure he sees Harry for exactly who he is and he loves every bit of him.  
  
Louis has had new relationships, is the point. He feels like in new relationships there comes a point where you’re constantly on edge, like this fight could break us or this thing might make you stop liking me or vice versa. But he and Harry have been waiting so long for this that Louis feels like nothing will break them. They’re both in it for the long haul from day one, and they know that. It’s the most secure Louis has ever felt in a new relationship, and he loves it; he’s just so, so, impossibly happy.

 

***

 

The shock of knowing that Harry recorded twenty songs about _him_ still hasn't worn off. Louis loves that CD, he feels like he's listened to it nonstop since December, but every song has been given a whole new meaning. It's almost painful, now, hearing the heartache and longing in Harry's voice and knowing that he's the reason for it, but at least things are good now. At least he can go and give Harry a big hug whenever he's affected by it.  
  
Harry says he's glad Louis didn't realise he was singing about him. That that's better than thinking Louis just didn't return his feelings (an idea which is still utterly absurd to Louis). But Louis just - he can't believe he didn't realise it sooner. That's four months he's wasted.  
  
The thing is, some of these songs - Louis was just so convinced they represented Harry's feelings about Xavier. Miss Missing You, for example, while Louis loves it, loves this stripped back version and the fact that Harry sang fucking Fall Out Boy for him - that song is so clearly about a romantic break-up. It didn't seem to fit Louis the way it fit Xavier. And then Harry explained it, how he felt about the concept of someone being his picket fence, and how that was Louis for him. It makes all of these songs, that Louis already adored, it makes him love them so much more.

He's also guiltily wanked to Harry's cover of Genie In A Bottle at least a dozen times. He couldn't help himself; he dares anyone to listen to Harry sing about rubbing himself the right way without being desperately turned on. It's nice that he doesn't have to feel guilty about that anymore. He can even get Harry to sing the song while they're having sex, if he wants. Life is kinda perfect.

 

***

 

“I’m not sure how clean it is,” Harry says as he unlocks the door. “You never know with my cat. Sometimes she makes a mess just to prove she can, I think.”  
  
Louis can’t help smiling, despite the bundle of nerves in his tummy. He’s never seen Harry’s flat before, or met his cat. Louis really hopes Harry’s cat doesn’t hate him. He already feels weird about the cat – Harry got her when things were weird between them, when Louis had just gotten with Greg for real, and Louis remembers the caption on the picture Harry had posted, about having a new best friend. It’s stupid to be jealous of a cat, Louis knows, but that’s kind of how he’d felt.  
  
And what if the cat senses that, somehow? Louis is secure in what they have, he doesn’t think Harry would break up with him just because his cat hates him, but he’d still rather she liked him.  
  
They get inside and a curly orange ball of fluff winds around Harry’s legs as soon as he turns on the lights. Harry laughs, dropping his bag on the floor and crouching to pick her up. He holds her up so she can see Louis.  
  
“Louis, meet Merida,” Harry says. “Merida, this is Louis. Be nice to him.”  
  
“Hi Merida,” Louis says softly, looking in her big green eyes.  
  
She’s really pretty. He’s not sure he’s ever seen a cat with curly fur before, so she’s unusual, but Louis likes it. And she’s not too orange, a nice mix of ginger and white, with a dainty face. She looks content in Harry’s arms, not that Louis blames her.  
  
“You should hold her later,” Harry says. “If you want. When I get home she tends to stick to my side, so I’m not sure if she’ll be up for cuddles now? But she should be later.”  
  
“Okay,” Louis says. He looks back at Merida. “Really nice to meet you, pretty girl.”  
  
Harry beams, and places the cat back on the ground. Like he said, she walks by his feet as they go into the kitchen. Louis wonders how Harry doesn’t trip over her, it’s not like he doesn’t trip over his own feet sometimes. She must do this every day.  
  
“What do you feel like for dinner?” Harry asks as he washes his hands. “I think I have everything for chicken fajitas, if you’d like that? It’s quick and easy.”  
  
Quick and easy sounds good. Louis’s hungry and he’s terrible in the kitchen.  
  
“Yeah, sounds good,” he says, moving to wash his hands as well. “Just tell me what to do. I’m not good in the kitchen, mind, so don’t give me anything too hard.”  
  
Harry giggles. “Think you can handle chopping veggies?”  
  
“Mmm, we’ll see,” Louis says, smiling back at Harry as he gets the veggies out of the fridge. He wants to do well, he’s actually going to try very hard not to muck it up.

*

He doesn’t. The fajitas come out amazing – Louis knows it’s mostly due to Harry, but Harry says he cut the veggies the perfect size, and he didn’t lose any fingers, so. Louis’s pretty proud.  
  
Harry put out Merida’s dinner while they were cooking – “It’s our routine,” he’d said, “I feel bad eating before she does,” which is just so, so cute, Louis thinks – so she’s finished before them, winding her way around their feet.  
  
“She probably wants to sit on the sofa with us,” Harry chuckles. “That’s usually where I eat dinner, don’t often use the table. So she’s used to just curling up next to me after she’s finished eating.”  
  
“That’s so cute,” Louis says, not even teasing. “I must say, I like seeing this side of you. It’s very sweet, you and your cat.”  
  
Harry ducks his head, a cute little smile on his face. “Thanks, Lou,” he says softly.  
  
They pop their dishes in the sink when they’re finished. Louis offers to wash up, even though he hates it, but Harry says that’s what dishwashers are for and he’ll do it later, so they head to the lounge instead.  
  
“You know, you haven’t given me a proper tour yet,” Louis says, once they’re sitting on the sofa and Harry’s flipping through channels, looking for a movie. “Poor form, Styles.”  
  
Harry feigns outrage. “I didn’t?! What an awful host I am!”  
  
“The most awful,” Louis agrees.  
  
“Can we do it later? I’m too full to move,” Harry says, and rubs his belly, which is very distracting. Louis almost forgets what they’re talking about.  
  
“Okay,” he says absently. He knows he’s staring, but he can’t seem to stop.  
  
Then Merida jumps up on the sofa, completely startling him. Louis lets out a small yelp and Harry laughs, and then Merida walks over Harry’s lap and settles on Louis’s.  
  
“Oh,” Louis says. He looks up at Harry, who’s smiling fondly.  
  
“Now _that’s_ cute,” Harry says. “You and my cat.” He watches for another few seconds, then gets out his phone and takes some photos.  
  
“Hey,” Louis says. “I didn’t agree to photos. I hope you got my good side.”  
  
Harry scoffs and takes more photos. “Every side is your good side.”  
  
Louis decides to ignore him and focus his attention on Merida. She’s massaging his legs with her paws, trying to get comfy. Louis’s just glad she doesn’t have her claws out. He reaches out his hand and runs a finger down her head, which makes her look up at him.  
  
“Hiya pretty,” he says. She lifts her head, bumping it into his hand. Louis chuckles, getting the message loud and clear, and starts rubbing her head. Her fur there is so soft. She starts purring, which is really nice. Louis feels kind of content.  
  
He looks up to see Harry putting his phone down. He’s smiling at the picture there.  
  
“I need to hang out here more often,” Louis says. “I like your cat.”  
  
Harry gives him a soft smile. “Safe to say, she likes you too,” he says. “I don’t think either of us would be averse to that.”  
  
“Ooh, big word, Curly,” Louis teases.  
  
“Not really,” Harry says with a laugh. Then his face suddenly drops. “Hey, can we talk a minute?”  
  
Louis doesn’t joke back that he thought they were talking, because Harry sounds serious and it’s making him nervous.  
  
Maybe he’d been a bit premature, thinking they were unbreakable.  
  
He just nods, trying not to look too worried.  
  
“It’s just that I just remembered I hadn’t told you something,” Harry says. He’s clearly nervous.  
  
“Okay?” Louis says. “Well, whatever it is, it’s okay. Do you have a secret wife and kid? An STD? A cat farm?”  
  
At least he makes Harry smile. “No, no, and no,” he says. “Um, it’s just… Do you remember that program Meredith told me about, years ago? Where you study art in London and you do an internship and stuff? You probably don’t remember.”  
  
“No, I do,” Louis says. “And Xavier didn’t want you to do it, yeah?”  
  
Harry nods. “Right. So I’ve been taking photography classes here, and a few months ago I felt ready to try something like that. Like, the timing felt right, you know? There wasn’t anything holding me back. So, um, I applied. And I got in. For the Autumn term.”  
  
Louis breathes in, so quickly it’s almost a gasp. “Harry! Well done! Holy shit, that’s amazing, I’m so proud of you!” He looks down at Merida. “If I didn’t have a cat on my lap I’d be giving you a great big hug.”  
  
Harry smiles, but it’s not completely happy.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Louis asks, failing to see why he’s acting like this is bad news.  
  
“Well… it’s in London,” Harry says, and. Oh. Right. “I’d have to leave in August, so. In only a few months. And then I’ll be gone for thirteen weeks.”  
  
“Shit,” Louis says. He thinks about it for a second, while Harry looks utterly dejected. “Hey, look, darling, it’s alright. The distance obviously isn’t ideal, but I can visit you on weekends, yeah? And it’s only three months. It’s not that long.”  
  
“Really?” Harry asks hopefully. “Are you really okay with it?”  
  
“Well, I won’t pretend I won’t miss you,” Louis says. “But yeah. I think it’s worth it, for you to pursue something that will make you happy.”  
  
Harry moves in closer, careful not to disrupt Merida. “You make me happy too,” he says, leaning in for a kiss.

*

When Louis checks his phone later that night, he sees that Harry’s uploaded a picture of Louis smiling down at Merida to Instagram. The filter is proper artsy, all dark with glowing lights, and the caption simply says ‘ _Happiness_.’  
  
Louis is so fucking desperately in love. He can hardly believe he gets to have this.

 

***

 

It’s been a few weeks, and things are going really well, but Louis and Harry have decided to keep it a secret from the rest of the office. Partly because Greg still works there, which is awkward, even if Greg knows how Louis feels about Harry. Louis doesn’t feel right rubbing it in his face so soon after they broke up, and he doesn’t want to subject Greg to the kind of comments he knows people will make. Which is the other reason they’re keeping it quiet – both Louis and Harry have had relationships in this office. They know how annoying their coworkers can be about that sort of thing.  
  
They’re just really enjoying the bubble they’re in. Both of them have waited so long for this, and so every day Louis gets to wake up next to Harry, or look at him across the office and know he’s his, it feels miraculous. He doesn’t want to spoil it by involving other people.  
  
Their families know, and that’s about it. But Louis goes home with Harry pretty much every night, snuggles up with him and his orange fluffball of a cat, and he feels like his life is thoroughly perfect.

*

“So,” Perrie says, catching Louis alone in the kitchen. “You’re single now. And Harry’s single.”  
  
“Yep,” Louis says. “Correct.”  
  
“So when are you going to get together?” she asks. “I mean, you’d have to be daft not to notice the way he looks at you. And with what he said on the beach, like. You know how he feels, yeah?”  
  
Louis plays dumb. “Um, I don’t think he – we’re friends,” he says. “I think that’s all he meant.”  
  
“Uh, no,” Perrie says, very judgmental. Louis’s almost amused. “It was so embarrassing, like, he poured his heart out.”  
  
“I don’t know about that,” Louis says, even though she’s right. He did. It still makes Louis’s heart twinge to think of it, to remember Harry’s earnest face in the firelight.  
  
“He said he called off his wedding for you!” Perrie cries. “You don’t do that for your friends!”  
  
Louis shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you,” he says. “We’re just friends.”  
  
“That’s ridiculous,” Perrie huffs, turning on her heel and going back to the annex.  
  
Louis looks after her with a smile, then finishes the cups of tea he’s making for himself and Harry.

*

“So,” Ed says, catching Louis on his way out of the loo. “What’s happening with you and Harry? He won’t tell me anything.”  
  
“What d’you mean?” Louis asks.  
  
“I saw that photo he posted, of you and his cat. We all did. What was that about?”  
  
Ah, shit. They hadn’t thought about that, or at least Louis hadn’t. He hadn’t realized it might seem more than platonic. He tries to play it off anyway.  
  
“Uh, I was hanging out with his cat,” Louis says. “We’re good mates, me and Merida.”  
  
“Mm, she’s great,” Ed says, eyeing him suspiciously. “And that’s all it was?”  
  
“Yep,” Louis says. “Harry’s my best friend, you know that. Can’t best friends post photos of one another?”  
  
“I suppose so,” Ed says, but he doesn’t look convinced.  
  
Louis just gives him his best innocent face, shrugs, and goes back to his desk.

*

“So,” James says, catching Louis at the lift. “When are you and Harry gonna get your shit together?”  
  
“Uh,” Louis says. “Why would you say that?”  
  
“Because I’m not blind,” James says. “You’re both very obvious, you always have been.”  
  
“You do know my boyfriend just dumped me, yeah?” Louis says. “We were together for ten months, I mean, it’s gonna take me a while to get over it.”  
  
“Mm hm,” James says, unconvinced.  
  
“I’m serious,” Louis says. “I don’t want to jump into anything new right now, even if it’s with Harry.”  
  
“Fair enough,” James says. “Probably not good if Harry’s your rebound.”  
  
“Yeah, exactly,” Louis says, even though the idea that Harry could ever be his rebound is ridiculous.

*

“So,” Niall says, catching Louis on his way out into the carpark. “What’re you doing about Harry?”  
  
He’s about to walk down the street a bit and have Harry pick him up, but Louis doesn’t say that. He sighs. “Nothing,” he says. “We’re friends, and I’m torn up over Greg.”  
  
“Try again,” Niall says, crossing his arms.  
  
“Sorry,” Louis apologises. “I’ve gotten sick of justifying it, I’ve given up trying.” And the sooner this conversation’s over, the sooner he can get in Harry’s car and go back to Harry’s cozy flat.  
  
Niall smiles at that. “I think people are probably just confused,” he says. “Everyone can see you belong together.”  
  
“Maybe,” Louis says, not willing to fight him on something that’s obviously true. “But the timing’s just not right.”  
  
Niall looks sad. “Well, I hope you figure it out soon, mate,” he says. “Don’t let him slip away, I know the two a’you would have something really special.”  
  
He’s right about that too. Louis really doesn’t feel like disputing this anymore. “Alright,” he says. “I’ll do me best.”

*

There’s a full day where no one says anything to Louis about Harry. It’s weird; he’s hoping that maybe they took what he said to heart and are actually giving him time and space to ‘get over Greg’. But somehow Louis just doesn’t see that being the case. He knows these people. He knows how invasive they are.  
  
So it’s unnerving.  
  
The next day, Louis drops Harry off down the street to walk in by himself. He gets into the office alone, Harry probably about five minutes behind him, and finds half the office staring at him. Perrie, Niall, James, Jade, Lou and Ed are gathered around Louis’s desk clump.  
  
“Um,” Louis says. “What’s going on?”  
  
“We need to talk to you,” Perrie says. She looks more serious than Louis’s ever seen her.  
  
“There’s something you need to see,” Niall says. He also looks serious. He and Perrie are usually away at their desks in the annex at this time of the morning, so Louis is concerned by their presence, let alone how weird they’re acting.  
  
“Okay,” he says. “What is it?”  
  
“We should wait for Harry,” James says.  
  
“Well, I don’t know how long he’ll be,” Louis hedges.  
  
“I bet not long,” says Jade.  
  
“Uh, okay,” Louis says. He feels defensive, suddenly, like he should argue that, but then Harry walks in the door.  
  
He’s got a happy smile on his face that shifts into a frown when he takes in the scene in front of him. “Hi guys,” he says. “What’s going on?”  
  
“We’ve got something to show you,” Ed says.  
  
“Something strange happened yesterday,” Niall adds.  
  
“Uh, okay,” Harry says, putting down his bag at reception and coming over to stand beside Louis.  
  
Perrie gets out her phone. “I was on my way home yesterday – I’ve been walking now that I moved closer – and I saw Louis walking too. And I was about to yell out to him, and then he got into a car. And the car didn’t leave right away, so as I kept walking I got closer to it, and then I saw something. I had to take a photo because I couldn’t believe it.”  
  
Ah, shit. Louis can guess what it’s a photo of.  
  
Perrie finds a photo on her phone. It’s dark and grainy, but it’s still pretty obviously Louis and Harry. In Harry’s car. Kissing.  
  
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us,” Niall says.  
  
“Tell you what?” says Louis. “That could be anyone. You know what people can do with photoshop these days? I wouldn’t put it past any of you to try and trap us, you’ve been going on about this for days.”  
  
He’s met with a chorus of shocked faces, Perrie’s most of all.  
  
“I know what I saw,” she says. She turns to Niall and says, “This is why I took a photo! I knew they’d try to deny it.”  
  
“Well, I was giving Louis a lift home,” Harry says, slowly like he's still thinking of an explanation. “And I kissed him, because... we’re dating.”  
  
Louis blinks, and looks at Harry. He did not expect that.  
  
Harry shrugs. “Sorry, babe,” he says. “I mean, what’s the point? They have a photo.”  
  
Louis reaches over and takes his hand. “S’okay,” he says quietly, then to everyone else, “Yep. We’re dating. Congrats, you figured it out.”  
  
There’s a burst of noise as everyone talks at once.  
  
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell us?” Niall asks, loudest over everyone.  
  
“We thought it’d be awkward,” Harry says.  
  
“Greg still works here, and that did happen fairly recently,” Louis says.  
  
“How long have you been together?” asks Jade, her hands clasped under her chin.  
  
“Um,” Louis says, looking at Harry.  
  
“Since the beach day,” Harry says. Louis squeezes his hand, and they all start squealing or saying they knew it.  
  
Ben arrives then. “What’s happening here?” he asks.  
  
“Harry and Louis are finally together,” Niall says.  
  
“Oh,” says Ben. “For how long? Why didn’t you tell me?”  
  
They answer the same questions over again, and then Ben excitedly interrupts.  
  
“This was my doing, yeah? I matched you two up.”  
  
Louis has no idea how he’s reached that conclusion. "Uh," he says. "No."  
  
"Yes," says Ben gleefully. "I hired you both! You owe all of this to me!"  
  
God, he's such a narcissist. And this feels familiar. Didn't he say the same thing about Harry and Xavier? Why does he think hiring people is the same as matchmaking?  
  
"I guess, in that case, I owe the four years of pining and heartbreak to you as well," Louis says.  
  
"It's not my fault you're spineless," Ben says. Louis blinks. Wow.  
  
"Okaaaay," Harry says, looking around at everyone. "And that's why we didn't want to tell everyone."

*

It’s all anyone wants to talk about for the rest of the day. People keep dropping by Louis’s desk to ask invasive questions, and it’s so awkward because Greg is only a few feet away at his own desk. Louis’s not sure how much he hears, but he thinks he’s probably getting most of it. At one point he sees him put earbuds in. Which is a pretty obvious sign that he’s bothered.  
  
Louis doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know if he should send out an email to everyone but Greg asking them to be sensitive. He’s just writing an email to Harry asking him for his opinion when Ben comes out of his office and goes over to Greg, clapping him on the back.  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, Louis sees Greg jump and take out his earbuds.  
  
“I wanted to check in on you,” Ben says, loudly enough for everyone to hear. “Being recently heartbroken myself, I’m always here for a manly chat, or advice. I’m great with advice.”  
  
“That’s alright,” Greg says. “I’m good.”  
  
“Well that can’t possibly be true,” Ben says. Still far too loud. “Your boyfriend dumped you and started dating someone else that same day! That had to sting!”  
  
Louis swallows, feeling awful. He doesn’t know why Ben’s doing this. It’s like he’s trying to be sympathetic but he’s basically just rubbing it in.  
  
“People always say I’m great to talk to,” Ben says. “We can even go out to lunch if you like.”  
  
Oh. Louis’s starting to get it. Nobody ever wants to go to lunch with Ben. This is a bit like when Louis was hurt over Harry setting the date. Ben had loved being involved in his misery.  
  
“I’m good,” Greg says. “I don’t need to talk.”  
  
“You should, I think it would help,” Ben says. “I’ll tell you about Meredith, you tell me about Louis. If you have to cry, that’s okay.”  
  
Greg lets out a sharp sigh. He looks really annoyed. Louis doesn’t blame him. “I’m fine,” he insists. “Look, honestly, I saw it coming. Does it feel good to have everyone talking about it? Of course not. But if everyone could just _get over it_ , I will too.”  
  
He’s quite loud by the time he’s finished, and he’s attracted the attention of most of the office.  
  
“I was just being friendly,” Ben says defensively.  
  
“Yeah, well, I don’t need it,” Greg says. “Can I go back to work now?”  
  
“Fine,” says Ben, and storms back to his office.

*

Greg’s outburst really hasn’t helped anyone get over it. Now they’re all talking about Greg, as well, and how heartbroken he must be. A few people, like Nick and Caroline and Jesy, are even glaring at Louis as if he’s done the wrong thing. Maybe from their perspective he has.  
  
By the afternoon, Louis’s had enough. He’s had enough of the whispers, the looks people keep shooting him when they think he can’t see. The conversations he keeps overhearing. He’s done.  
  
He stands up at his desk. “Excuse me everyone,” he says loudly, commanding the attention of everyone in the room. Ben even comes out of his office. The people in the annex won’t hear him, but Louis figures word will travel anyway. “I need to set some things straight. Not that it’s any of your business, but apparently it’s necessary. I feel like things have gone from one extreme to another today – this morning I felt you were all being insensitive to Greg, and now, some of you are demonizing myself and Harry while trying to be sensitive. I just want to say, that I’ve had feelings for Harry the entire time I’ve worked here. Greg figured it out back in January last year. He knew when I came to stay with him in Leeds that I was running from Harry. And when we were dating, he found out that as hard as I tried, my feelings never really went away. He knew long before Beach Day. I’m sorry he got mixed up in everything, truly I am. He deserves someone who's committed to him, if that's what he wants. But I can’t help the way I feel, I never could. And after I found out Harry felt the same way, why would I waste any time in being with him? Just because I’d broken up with my boyfriend that day? We’d already wasted four fucking years. So,” Louis takes a deep breath. “I just want to ask you all to please be more sympathetic to all three of us. It wasn’t ideal, I’ll admit that, but we’re all just people with feelings and shit. And if you’re going to gossip, maybe have all the facts first. Um. Thank you.”  
  
He sits down, and takes a sip from the bottle of water on his desk. He can’t believe a speech was fucking necessary. Then he looks at Harry, who’s smiling back at him. Harry gives him a thumbs up.  
  
Then Louis looks around the office. He thinks he mostly just sees surprise on everyone’s faces, which is fair enough. People in this office are usually more passive aggressive than upfront about things like this.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Jesy says. “You’re right, about having all the facts.”  
  
There’s a murmuring of people agreeing with her, and then Ben speaks up.  
  
“ _I’m_ sorry, but I thought I _was_ being sympathetic,” he says. “I was the only one who offered Greg a shoulder to cry on.”  
  
“You don’t need to treat me like a victim,” Greg says, rolling his eyes. “Louis’s right, I did know about all of this. I was the one who broke it off, officially. I’m not an idiot, I’ve always known there was something between them.”  
  
“Whatever,” Ben says. “I’m just trying to be nice.”  
  
Louis ignores him, and Greg sighs and seems to give up. There’s no point in arguing.

*

Louis’s little tirade doesn’t actually stop the gossiping; now people are just talking about what he’d said, and Nick is still periodically glaring at him. Louis is over it.  
  
“I want to write this whole day off,” Louis says to Harry when they’re in the breakroom having lunch.  
  
Lou walks in and then covers her eyes. “Oop, sorry,” she says.  
  
“We’re not doing anything,” Harry says, and Lou uncovers her eyes.  
  
“Oh,” she says. “I couldn’t see your hands.”  
  
Louis frowns and looks down. Both his and Harry’s hands are on the table, in plain sight.  
  
“Did you really think we’d be getting off in the breakroom?” he asks.  
  
Lou shrugs. “You never know,” she says, then, “Everyone does it.”  
  
Louis’s lip curls and Harry looks disgusted. In the breakroom? Ugh, that’s so gross.  
  
“I think I’ll bring in a tablecloth tomorrow,” says Harry. Louis thinks that’s a very good idea.

*  
  
The whispers and the looks continue for the rest of the day. Louis tries not to be bothered by it, and in truth, he _is_ less bothered because at least they know what really happened now. More or less.  
  
It’s nice to be able to leave with Harry at the end of the day and not worry about anyone questioning it. It’s really nice. Louis feels like he’s going to be able to relax a lot more; he hadn’t quite realised how much of a toll it was taking, to stop himself from touching Harry whenever he wanted. To pretend Harry wasn’t his whole universe.  
  
That’s almost worth being the focus of every single conversation. And hopefully it’ll be more bearable tomorrow. And by next week, everyone will surely be over it.

*

Greg’s desk is empty when Louis and Harry get in to work the next day. Like, not only is Greg not there, but his stuff is gone too, all his photos and the random junk he’d accumulated.  
  
Louis frowns and waits for Ben to arrive so he can ask what’s happened.  
  
“Oh yeah,” Ben says. “He quit last night, after most people had gone. Good riddance, I say. He clearly wasn’t fitting in here.”  
  
Louis makes a face; he’s pretty sure Ben’s just saying that because Greg blew him off yesterday.  
  
And then it sinks in. Shit.  
  
Louis leaves Ben’s office and goes over to reception.  
  
“Greg quit last night,” he tells Harry.  
  
Harry doesn’t look surprised. “I thought so,” he says. “I mean, his stuff’s gone.”  
  
“Yeah,” Louis says. “Shit. I feel awful.”  
  
“It’s not your fault, Lou,” Harry says. “It’s like you said yesterday – we can’t help our feelings. And we did our best to keep this secret.”  
  
Louis breathes, tries to calm down. “Yeah, you’re right,” he says. “Still. I never wanted to cost him his job. And he didn’t even say anything to me. D’you think I should text him?”  
  
Harry doesn’t look happy about that, but he says, “If you feel like you should.”  
  
Louis bites his lip. “I dunno. I mean, he left without saying anything for a reason, yeah?”  
  
“Maybe talk to Steve or Nick?” Harry suggests. Good idea.

*

Louis chooses Steve, because Nick had seemed pissed off with him yesterday. He waits until Steve goes into the kitchen to make his morning coffee, so that they’ll have a bit of privacy.  
  
“Hey,” Louis says.  
  
“Hey, morning bro,” Steve says cheerfully. He’s always so warm, talking to him always makes Louis feel instantly better.  
  
“Morning,” Louis says. “Uh, I was just wondering – have you spoken to Greg? D’you know how he’s doing?”  
  
“Oh, yeah,” Steve says. “Yeah, he’s been staying with me and Tiernan, remember?”  
  
“Right,” Louis says, remembering. That’d been a weird night; he’d gone home euphoric after finally getting together with Harry, only to help Greg move out. Kind of a weird overlap of emotions.  
  
“Yeah, so last night he said he’s moving out,” Steve says. “He’s going to London. Said he's always wanted to live there, and he never felt at home in Manchester anyway.”  
  
“Steve,” Louis says in a small voice. “Is it my fault?”  
  
“No, bro,” Steve says, quick to reassure him. “You had to follow your heart, okay? None of this is your fault. He did say he needed a better work environment, but dude. That’s not your fault, that’s on everyone.”  
  
Louis takes a deep breath, then exhales. Okay. Steve has a point. “Okay,” he says. “Alright. Thanks.”  
  
“You could text him if you wanted,” Steve says. “But if I were you I’d consider this a clean break. You don’t need to check in with him. He’s fine, he’s just getting on with his life. You should get on with yours, with your boy. Don’t dwell on this.”  
  
“Yeah,” Louis says. “Yeah, okay. Okay.”  
  
A clean break. Louis kinda likes that.

 

***

 

There’s been a huge overhaul with the company over the last month. The job at Corporate that Ben was going for turned out to be Meredith’s job. Who is both his immediate boss, and his girlfriend. But, as Ben said upon returning from his interview, that’s okay! Because the CEO and founder of Syco Software, Simon Cowell, is being fired for embezzlement, and Meredith has been promoted to his job. So Meredith is the CEO now. Ben’s dating the CEO.  
  
Except he’s not. As soon as her promotion was finalised, Meredith told Ben she thought it would be unprofessional for them to be together. Louis sees where she’s coming from there – like, their relationship was always unprofessional, but he can see why she wouldn’t want to make more waves when she’s trying to be accepted as the new CEO.  
  
So Ben was absolutely distraught, and to add insult to injury, he wasn’t even given the job. Zayn was.  
  
_Zayn_. The temp. Louis is still reeling from it, honestly, and it’s been weeks now. He can’t believe that the lowest member on the office food chain is now Ben’s boss. What the _fuck_.  
  
The side effect of that promotion is that Zayn’s moved to Sheffield, and he’s also broken off his secret thing with Liam. Because, ridiculous enough as it still seems to Louis, Liam and Zayn had a thing. Louis’s not sure of the extent of it, whether it was a real relationship – he only knows because he caught them in the stairwell a few months ago. But he’s thinking now that it was more serious than he’d assumed, because while Ben was grieving over Meredith – basically just listening to Adele on repeat in his office – Liam had joined him. Liam had even said something about going through a break-up of his own.  
  
And, now that Louis’s thinking about it, Liam has seemed very sad over the last few weeks. Louis had dismissed it because everyone seems sad in comparison to his own golden sunshine happiness, but he’s suddenly seeing it now. Liam’s got these permanent dark circles around his eyes, and he’s stopped ironing his clothes. He’s also stopped shaving, coming to work with scruff and five o’clock shadows. Actually, that’s probably the biggest indication that he’s not okay; Louis’s known him for five years and he’s literally _never_ seen him with facial hair. Liam thinks it’s unprofessional; he’s always chastising Louis over his own scruff.  
  
So, yeah. Liam’s definitely going through something. It’s quite weird that both Ben and Liam were dumped just as Louis got the relationship he’s always wanted.  
  
Anyway. Zayn’s coming into the office today. There’s a new business plan or something. And if Louis hadn’t known there was something between Liam and Zayn before, he definitely would have figured it out today – Liam came to work looking better than Louis’s ever seen him. He usually looks put together, pressed suits and all, but it’s on another level today.   
  
Louis has a feeling this is not going to go well.

*

Zayn’s new plan is a website that will target potential customers. It’s supposedly going to be really effective. Zayn uses a lot of words like ‘stream-lining’ and ‘digitilisation’, and takes a million years to essentially say ‘out with the old, in with the new’. Ben is resistant, because he’s resistant to all change, and Liam’s resistant, because it’s Zayn’s idea. Louis has an actual real objection.  
  
“So the website will make its own sales,” he clarifies. Zayn nods. “Which will then be attributed to Corporate?” Zayn confirms. “But that means it’ll be taking sales from us. Which means less sales for the branch.”  
  
There’s silence for a moment as that sinks in.  
  
“Maybe you’ll have to work a bit harder then Louis,” Zayn says. Louis can't believe how smug he looks. “I know this branch. I know how little gets done here. Everyone’s going to have to put in more effort, both to compete with the website and to meet my standards.”  
  
That causes a bit of an uproar, and eventually Zayn cries, “Stop yelling at me and go back to work!” and the meeting’s over.

*

“So that was weird, today,” Harry says.  
  
Louis grins. He’s got to tell Harry what he knows, he’s held it in for far too long. “I swore to myself I’d never say anything,” he says, because he did. When he’d found out, he’d been trying to repay Liam for having his back when Xavier attacked him. Liam was having none of it – like, he never sees it coming when Louis plays tricks on him, but the one time Louis wanted to repay him, he couldn’t get a chance. And then he’d accidentally seen Liam and Zayn, and Louis found his chance. “But I have to tell you. Liam and Zayn were hooking up. For, like, a few months, I think.”  
  
“Oh, wow,” Harry says, a grin spreading across his face.  
  
“I know!” Louis says. This is so much fun, he definitely should’ve told Harry sooner. “I think it was pretty serious, too, because when Meredith dumped Ben, Liam said he was going through his own break-up.”  
  
“No,” Harry says, and he’s shaking his head. What? “No, babe, oh my God. They’ve been together for almost two years, at least.”  
  
“What?” Louis says, his mouth dropping open. “How do you know?”  
  
“I caught them, two years ago at that party you threw,” Harry says. “And ever since then, usually when they’re drunk, sometimes they’ve come to me for advice or to vent or whatever.”  
  
“Oh my God,” Louis says, stunned. “I can’t believe it’s been that long.”  
  
“I can’t believe you knew,” Harry says.  
  
“What! I can’t believe _you_ knew for _two years_ and didn’t say anything!”  
  
“I know, I’m sorry,” Harry grimaces. “I kept forgetting about it, but whenever I wanted to talk about it with you, things were weird between us.”  
  
Louis frowns. “Clearly we should’ve figured our shit out much sooner, then.”  
  
“Yeah, that’s the only reason,” Harry says with a smile, and Louis has to give him a quick kiss. Never mind they’re in the breakroom. No one’s around, anyway.  
  
“So,” he says. “Tell me all the details. Were they actually serious?”  
  
“Oh, yeah, I think so,” Harry says. “They both wanted to keep it secret – Liam because it seemed unprofessional, and Zayn because he was embarrassed or something, I think. But they definitely really liked each other, and there were times when they made each other really happy.”  
  
“God,” Louis says, thinking back on the sadness surrounding Liam these days and how much he’d clearly tried to look good today. “I feel so sad for Liam.”  
  
“I know,” Harry frowns. “Me too. It’s weird, yeah?”  
  
“Definitely,” Louis says with a smile. “We should do something nice for him.”

They spend the rest of their lunch break brainstorming, and it actually feels really nice. Feels like growth.

 

***

 

Harry, Nick, and Leigh Anne have set up something they call The Finer Things Club, and Louis wants in.  
  
There are several reasons why, but none of which are that he has an interest in the classic literature they read, or the fancy dress-ups, or the high tea and fine china. Louis suspects Harry knows this, and that’s why he laughingly refuses every time Louis brings it up.  
  
He hasn’t told Harry the real reasons, because he knows they come off as possessive and overbearing, but he can’t help how he feels. Basically: he can’t stand to be apart from Harry when he doesn’t have to be, even if it’s only for an hour a week, and also, he doesn’t like the way Nick treats Harry. It’s not that Louis wants to be part of the club so he can supervise them, or anything like that. He’s just… he’s jealous. He knows he is, and he knows he’s being irrational, but he can’t help it.  
  
When Nick transferred here, he was Louis’s friend. But something changed over the last year, and now Nick is definitely primarily Harry’s friend. He and Louis barely even talk anymore. Here’s what Louis suspects happened: Nick developed feelings for Harry (Louis is about one hundred per cent sure of this; Nick had asked him for advice on how to seduce Harry, for fuck’s sake), Nick grew to resent Louis because Harry had feelings for him and Louis was all but ignoring him, Nick feels awkward now that Louis and Harry are together.  
  
It’s not a great situation. Honestly, it might all be in Louis’s head, but he doesn’t think it is. He sees the way Nick looks at Harry. Like he wants to devour him. It makes Louis’s blood boil.  
  
Louis wishes they could just all be friends. He knows Harry would love that, and Louis does sort of miss being friends with Nick. But he just can’t overlook it. Whenever Nick gives Harry attention, Louis turns into a caveman.  
  
So their exclusive club reading pretentious books and having themed luncheons where “absolutely no paper or plastic are allowed”, says Harry – Louis can’t ignore it.

*

“You want in too, don’t you?” asks James. They’re both sitting at the small table in the kitchen, watching The Finer Things Club through the blinds to the breakroom.  
  
Harry, Nick, and Leigh Anne take a later lunch than everyone else on a Wednesday, so that they can have the breakroom all to themselves. Louis has taken to eating later as well, because what’s the point in subjecting himself to _two_ hours without Harry?  
  
Apparently James is joining him today.  
  
“Yeah,” Louis says. “I’m totally into… all of that. Wait, why weren’t you allowed in?”  
  
James makes a face. “Apparently I monopolise the conversation by trying to be funny.”  
  
That doesn’t sound like something Harry would say, but Louis can’t pin it down between Nick or Leigh. “I don’t think that’s true,” Louis says. “You genuinely are funny.”  
  
“Thanks, mate,” James says, beaming and clapping a hand on his shoulder. “So, are you going to help me figure out a plan?”  
  
Louis huffs a laugh. “Okay, yeah,” he says. “What’re you thinking?”  
  
James pauses for a minute, as if he’s still putting together an idea, and then he nods. “Alright. What if we read their book for next week, and talk about it when they’re around?”  
  
Louis makes a face. He doesn’t know if that would actually work, and besides – he really isn’t interested in reading Jane Austen. He knows that’s what they’re reading, because Harry has a list on his fridge at home. “They’re reading Emma next week. By Jane Austen. Maybe we could just look it up online?”  
  
James nods. “That would be quicker,” he says. “And – Emma? Have you seen Clueless? It’s basically the same thing.”  
  
“No way,” Louis says. He loves that movie.  
  
“Yeah, so we can talk about the differences between them,” James suggests. “I’m sure there’s a bunch of Buzzfeed articles about that.”  
  
Louis’s sure he’s right. Oh well. It’s worth a try.

*

Louis comes to work the next Wednesday an absolute expert on Emma. Or, well, as big an expert as someone who’s never read the book can be. He’s read extensive summaries online, and he's spoken to his mum about it, and he’s rewatched Clueless a few times. He even watched Emma Approved, a Youtube series from a few years ago. He thinks he’ll have a lot to talk about with James.  
  
Harry, Leigh, and Nick come into work in their normal clothes, but they’re all carrying bags. Louis knows they’ll change before lunch, as is their routine now. They’re all excited, like they are every Wednesday.  
  
Louis and James’s plan has to go into effect long before lunch. James shares a desk clump with Nick, so around ten, Louis goes and leans against James’s desk.  
  
“Did you finish it?” Louis asks.  
  
“I couldn’t put it down,” James says. “Although I shouldn’t be surprised – she is one of my favourite authors.”  
  
“And what did you think of the ending? Honestly, I liked her with Mr Knightley, but I felt bad for Harriet. Her feelings were always pushed aside.”  
  
Louis knows they’ve got Nick’s attention now. He tries not to smile.  
  
“I know,” James says. “She’s always secondary to what Emma wants, even once Emma’s realised she’s in the wrong.”  
  
“That’s something I feel carried over well into Clueless,” Louis says.  
  
“Oh, definitely,” James says. “And what did you think of the message?”  
  
“Well, it’s funny, isn’t it, how match-making should be a selfless act, but Emma was sort of trying to mold everyone around her into doing what she wanted,” muses Louis. “I liked the message. I liked Emma herself, as well, though. I think it’s funny that Austen said she wanted to create a character nobody would like, because I found her quite relatable.”  
  
“Oh, I think she’s definitely relatable,” James says. “Especially to a twenty-first century audience. I find it really interesting how that character holds up today.”  
  
“Yeah, definitely,” Louis says.  
  
“Okay, excuse me, what is going on?” Nick asks.  
  
Louis frowns and fakes a confused look. “What do you mean? We’re discussing a book we read.”  
  
“It’s just too bad we have to do it at our desks,” James says. “If only there was a club we could join.”  
  
Nick’s face contorts, and Louis has to leave before he bursts into laughter.  
  
“We’ll have to continue this later James, I’ve got to get back to work,” Louis says, and heads back to his desk.  
  
Twenty minutes later, Harry comes over to him.  
  
“What are you up to?” he asks, a hint of a smile on his face.  
  
“Whatever do you mean?” Louis asks, trying to look innocent.  
  
Harry’s mouth twists like he’s trying not to laugh. “Nick said you and James were talking about Emma. You know we read Emma this week.”  
  
“Did you?” Louis asks. “What a coincidence! James and I really enjoyed it, we were just discussing our thoughts.”  
  
“You read Jane Austen,” Harry says, deadpan. “Really.”  
  
“Is that really so hard to believe, Styles?” Louis says, mock-offended. “I can be sophisticated too, you know.”  
  
“Mm hm,” Harry hums. “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it.”  
  
“I really did,” Louis says, because well, he did like the summaries.  
  
Harry shakes his head. “You’re a weirdo,” he says, and starts to head back to his desk.  
  
“What’s weird about enjoying literature?” Louis asks after him, but Harry doesn’t reply.

*

Louis and James follow each other around the office for the rest of the morning, talking seriously about Emma and its various adaptations, always within earshot of Harry, Leigh or Nick.  
  
Before lunch – when the three of them are getting changed – Louis and James set up their own tea party in the breakroom. James brought in fine china, as well as finger sandwiches and tea cake. Louis brought in top hats for the both of them. They’re sitting at their table when Harry, Leigh, and Nick walk in.  
  
Harry’s wearing a black waistcoat and top hat, and carrying a cane. He looks beautiful. Nick is dressed similarly, although of course he doesn’t look nearly as good, and Leigh is wearing a Victorian-style dress, with puffy sleeves and a full skirt. She’s wearing a large hat and carrying an umbrella. All three of them have their mouths open.  
  
“What are you doing here?” Nick asks, recovering first.  
  
“Oh, sorry, this is when our club meets,” says James. “The Classic Times Club. This week we read Emma by Jane Austen, have you heard of it?”  
  
Nick splutters angrily.  
  
“You can’t do this,” says Leigh Anne. “We’ve put a sign on the door.”  
  
Louis frowns. “The breakroom is a free space, I thought.”  
  
“He’s right,” says Harry. He’s not visibly annoyed like Nick and Leigh Anne. In fact, Louis thinks he can see amusement twinkling in his eyes. “We can’t just kick them out of a shared office area.”  
  
“Well,” Nick says. “We’ll move to the conference room, then.”  
  
“There’s a meeting in there right now,” says James.  
  
“Shit,” says Nick. How uncouth.  
  
“Why don’t you lot just sit down and discuss your book, and we’ll discuss ours,” suggests Louis.  
  
“You know very well we’ve read the same book!” Nick cries. Harry pats his arm and whispers something, and Louis makes a face, and then the three of them sit at the table they’d set up earlier.  
  
After a few minutes, both groups have raised their voices so high to be heard over each other that they’re shouting.  
  
“ENOUGH,” Harry cries, and everyone falls silent. “This is not refined! Look, if it’s going to be this much hassle, why don’t we just invite them into the club?”  
  
“Because it’s exclusive, Harry,” says Nick.  
  
“Because they’re not serious about it,” says Leigh.  
  
James raises his eyebrows at Louis, as if to say, _see?  
  
_ “Look at them,” Harry says, waving his hand. “They look pretty serious to me! They’ve gone to so much effort to prove they care about this. Why don’t we just give them a chance?”  
  
Leigh Anne sighs. “Fine,” she says. “Louis, James, would you like to join The Finer Things Club?”  
  
“Oh, I don’t know,” says Louis. “We’re pretty committed to The Classic Times Club.”  
  
“Jesus Christ,” says Nick.  
  
“Alright, we’ll join,” James says happily.

*

Louis puts in the bare minimum each week; he wears a hat, and he reads a summary of the book. He’ll watch the movie with Harry if there is one. James puts in tons more effort, but Harry never calls Louis out. Louis thinks Harry likes spending the time with him, having Louis involved in something he cares about. Louis definitely likes it. That’s all that really matters.  
  
His presence pisses off Nick every week, and that’s just a bonus.

 

***

 

Zayn holds a meeting via Skype to go over the launch of his website, which means everyone’s in the conference room watching him on the screen in there. Essentially they’ll be broadcasting Google Hangouts from all four branches across Yorkshire, as well as from the big Corporate launch party in Sheffield. He says he doesn’t need anything from any of them except to enjoy themselves and watch his website succeed. He’s got some fancy algorithm that’s going to match the website to potential clients, and he’s got a projected estimate of two thousand units sold by eight pm.  
  
“This website is going to outsell every salesman in this company,” Zayn says.  
  
“Take that, Liam,” Jesy says playfully.  
  
“You really think it can outsell me? I bet I can beat it,” Liam says loudly, getting closer to the webcam. He’s clearly addressing Zayn.  
  
“I don’t care, and you can’t,” Zayn says.  
  
“I will,” Liam says. “You’ll see.”  
  
“I don’t care, and I won’t,” Zayn says.  
  
Liam frowns and crosses his arms, and stays like that until Zayn eventually ends the call.  
  
“Attention,” Liam says once everyone’s sitting back at their desks. “Tonight, from five to eight, I plan on beating the website. Anyone who wants to witness it and cheer me on is welcome to do so.”  
  
Everyone goes back to their work, except Louis and Nick.  
  
“Can I keep score?” Nick asks.  
  
“Yes,” says Liam.  
  
“Can I wear a cheerleader outfit?” Louis asks.  
  
“No,” says Liam. “This is serious, Louis.”  
  
“You’re right,” says Louis. “It’d suit Harry better anyway.”  
  
Liam sighs. “Leave me alone,” he says. “I’ve got to prepare.”

*

Liam does really well until six. Because it’s the launch day, there’s a count of how many units the website has sold on the private company server, and Liam is actually winning the entire hour. The website seems to gain sales at a steady rate, Louis notices, and Liam’s making bigger sales.  
  
After six, though, he can’t get through to as many people. Most businesses have finished trading for the day; six to eight really aren’t popular selling hours. Liam starts cold calling people at home, with varying levels of success, while the website takes the lead and then steadily climbs higher.  
  
At seven-thirty, with the website beating him 1,334 to 737, Liam admits defeat.  
  
Louis’s only been paying him a small amount of attention; the party’s well underway, and Louis’s had two glasses of champagne and he’s swaying with Harry as Ed leads karaoke. Ben’s out of the office, having gone to Sheffield for the Corporate party, and Liam’s preoccupied, which means it’s a good party for once. But Louis notices Nick putting away his giant scorecard, and then he sees Liam walking out of the office.  
  
“S’cuse me, love,” he says to Harry. “I’m gonna go see if Liam’s okay.”  
  
Harry frowns. “Really? D’you want me to come?”  
  
“No, darling, you can stay here,” Louis says, giving him a quick kiss. God, Harry’s the cutest when he’s had a few drinks. “I’ll be right back.”  
  
“Okaaaay,” Harry says as he reluctantly lets go of Louis.  
  
Louis leaves the office and doesn’t see Liam. He starts to walk towards the lifts, then changes his mind, turns and opens the doors to the stairwell.  
  
And there’s Liam. Sitting on the landing with his head in his hands.  
  
Louis walks down the stairs to reach him, then slides down the wall until he’s sitting beside him. “You okay?” he asks.  
  
“Why do you care,” Liam says into his knees.  
  
“I don’t know,” Louis says. “Because spending five years with someone, regardless of whether I get on with them, tends to make me care about people?”  
  
“Bullshit,” Liam mutters. “You just want to use this against me.”  
  
Louis sighs, and decides to try a different tactic. “You know, I’m not happy about the website either,” he says. “It’s just going to take sales away from us.”  
  
“This isn’t about the stupid website,” Liam says stiffly. “That’s just insult to injury.”  
  
Ah. Bingo. This is about Zayn.  
  
“I know how that feels,” Louis says. “I mean, shit. When Harry set the date with Xavier? I felt like my heart was broken in a new way every day. I ran away to Leeds because I couldn’t handle it.”  
  
Liam makes a mumbled noise.  
  
“I feel like… you’ve just got to push on. It’ll get easier,” Louis says. “I hope you have a happy ending with Zayn, I really genuinely do. But even if you don’t – or even if it takes time… It’ll slowly get easier. Just take each day as it comes. Maybe today’s a shitty day, but maybe tomorrow will be better.”  
  
Liam finally looks up. His eyes are red. “Do you really think we could have a happy ending?”  
  
“Is that what you want?” Louis asks. He’s still mildly surprised by all of this, that Liam cares about Zayn this much. “You still want to be with him?”  
  
Liam breathes in sharply. “I don’t know,” he says. “Part of me hates him for leaving. And things were always so up and down with us… but yes. Yeah. I do.”  
  
“Then I guess you’ve just got to wait out the hard parts,” Louis says. “I mean, it took me four years and a lot of heartbreak to get with Harry. But just because there’s bumps in the road, doesn’t mean you won’t get there.”  
  
“Yeah,” Liam says. “Yeah, okay. You might be right.”  
  
“I’m always right.”  
  
“No you’re not,” says Liam, a hint of a smile on his face. Louis feels better to see it. He doesn’t know when Liam’s happiness started to matter to him.  
  
“Come back to the party,” Louis says. “You can do some karaoke, I know Drake’s been calling your name.”  
  
Liam actually smiles at that, and he lets Louis help him to his feet.

*

They go back inside, and the first thing Louis sees is Harry at reception. His cheeks are flushed from the drinks he’s had, his hair a tad wild and his shirt more unbuttoned than usual. He’s listening to his messages, frowning like he’s trying extra hard to concentrate. Louis’s chest pangs and everything he’d been telling Liam hits him all at once.  
  
He can’t believe how lucky he is. That everything worked out. That after four fucking years, he’s finally able to call Harry his.  
  
Louis strides over to reception and goes behind Harry’s desk. Harry turns around to face him and Louis immediately takes his face in his hands and kisses him, hard. It’s the most intense kiss they’ve shared in the office since Casino Night, and remembering that just makes Louis deepen the kiss, because it’s real now. There’s no wondering if he’ll get to keep this. This is his.  
  
Harry’s gripping Louis’s arms, and he’s kissing back. Louis wants to crowd him against his desk and make out with him for hours, but he does have a tiny bit of self-restraint. He pulls back eventually, giving Harry one last tiny kiss and then smiling at him.  
  
“Wow,” Harry says, his smile wide and his eyes shining. “Hi. What was that for?”  
  
“Just happy that I can,” Louis says.  
  
Harry blinks at him, looking for a second like he might cry, and then he crashes into Louis’s arms and hugs him for a good few minutes.  
  
_I love you,_ Louis thinks. He has to fight himself to hold it in. He knows he’s going to tell Harry very soon – just not in the office, not tipsy, not while half of their coworkers are watching.  
  
“Oh,” Harry says when he pulls back. “I have a funny story for you. Ben’s here.”  
  
Louis frowns. “I thought he was going to Sheffield?”  
  
“He did,” Harry says. “He was turned away when he got there, because he wasn’t invited to the Corporate party. He got an invitation to the Google Hangout and assumed it was the Corporate party because it said VIP on it.”  
  
Louis almost chokes on his laughter. “Oh my God.”  
  
“Yep,” Harry says with a grin. “He came back and said he didn’t want to go anyway, since Meredith’ll be there. And now he’s shit talking Zayn to anyone who’ll listen.”  
  
“That is just,” Louis shakes his head. “That’s amazing. He went all the way to Sheffield for a party he couldn’t get into?”  
  
Harry nods. “He did. Isn’t that incredible?”  
  
It is. It truly is. And it's nothing compared to the gorgeous boy standing in front of him.

 

***

 

Louis manages to wait two days. The whole weekend. And then on Sunday night, when they’re in bed cuddling, he can’t hold it in any longer. Harry’s just said something about needing to go to the shops after work tomorrow. And Louis says it.  
  
“I love you.”  
  
He’s not really worried about it. He’s pretty sure Harry’s on the same page, and besides, Louis figures it’s his turn to put himself out there. He also thinks it’s pretty obvious by this point.  
  
Harry pouts, which is a pretty hilarious response. “I wanted to say it first.”  
  
“Bit late with that, love,” Louis says. “Technically I said it first, a year ago on Casino Night.”  
  
“Yeah,” says Harry, still pouting. “That’s why I wanted to say it first this time.”  
  
“Sorry, baby,” Louis says, leaning in and kissing his pouted lips. Harry breaks and giggles; Louis thinks it’s because kissing with pursed lips feels funny.  
  
“I do, though,” Harry says. “I love you too.”  
  
Warmth floods through Louis and he has to close his eyes for a second. He knew that Harry probably loved him, he didn’t expect to have such an intense reaction to actually hearing it.  
  
“I’m, like,” Harry continues, his voice soft. Louis opens his eyes to see Harry’s heartfelt expression. “I didn’t know it was possible to be this in love with someone.”  
  
Louis presses him into the bed, kissing him hard. “You’re my whole world, you know that?”  
  
“You’re mine too,” Harry gasps, grabbing his arms and pushing up against him.

 

***

 

Ben’s apparently gotten over his devastation over his breakup with Meredith, because he’s gotten really desperate to be set up. His standards are ridiculously high for someone as annoying as he is, and he has an actual list of requirements – something that Louis finds both sexist and shallow. It’s insulting to all women, really. As such, nobody’s really offered to set him up with anyone.  
  
“I’m making this a priority,” Ben says. He lifts a stack of rainbow post-its off Harry’s desk. “Before lunch, I want everyone to write down someone they think is a suitable girlfriend for me. And, actually, for Liam as well, because he’s apparently been dumped by the secret girlfriend no one knew he had, and I’m sick of seeing his mopey face. So, girlfriends for both of us, or no lunch break! And you’re fired!”  
  
Everyone just sort of stares after him as he storms back into his office. Then they go back to their work. Louis’s the only one getting up and going over to write on a post-it, and that’s only because he wants to talk to Harry.  
  
“I don’t think he’s actually going to fire everyone,” Louis says, pulling a hot pink post-it off the top of the stack.  
  
“No,” Harry agrees. He pauses. “It was nice of him to include Liam.”  
  
They both look over at Liam, with his two-day-old scruff, frowning at his computer.  
  
“Yeah,” Louis says. “I dunno if he actually wants a girlfriend right now though.”  
  
“He didn’t look thrilled when Ben said it,” Harry says. “But he’s probably happy Ben’s thinking of him.”  
  
“Yeah,” Louis says. He looks down at his blank post-it. “Who are you writing down?”  
  
“My land-lady, I think,” Harry says. “She’s in her late thirties, and she’s really nice.”  
  
“Wow,” Louis says. He’s met Harry’s land-lady. She’s too nice to be subjected to Ben. “I never thought you were actually that mean, Styles.”  
  
Harry smiles. “I’m hoping Ben isn’t actually as shallow as his stupid list of demands would suggest,” he says. “I think they could get on.”  
  
Louis shakes his head. “She is going to hate you.”  
  
“We’ll see,” Harry says with a smile. God, he is far too optimistic about the good in people. Louis finds it so endearing. “Who are you writing down?”  
  
“Meredith,” Louis says. Harry snorts. It’s completely adorable. “I think they were good together.”  
  
“That’s not mean at all,” Harry says sarcastically.  
  
Well… he might have a point.  
  
“I literally can’t think of anybody else,” Louis protests. “There’s nobody in my life I’d want to foist off onto Ben Winston.”  
  
Harry nods like this is a good point. “I guess you can’t sacrifice your land-lady too. If mine kicks me out I’ll have to move in with you.”  
  
Louis’s heart jackrabbits in his chest at that suggestion. He doesn’t know what to say that wouldn’t be overkill, so he just smiles. Then he writes _Ben – Meredith, Liam – Perrie_ , because Liam and Perrie don’t get on at all, and signs his name.

 

***

 

Ben’s date with Harry’s land-lady goes terribly. He comes back to the office ranting about wanting a passionate affair, not _companionship_ , and does Harry really think so low of him that that’s who he thinks is a suitable match? Really?  
  
Louis is two seconds away from saying something that could potentially get him fired, because fucking _nobody_ is allowed to yell at Harry like that, but Ben storms into his office and slams the door instead. Louis gets up and goes to Harry.  
  
“I’m okay,” Harry says, but his voice is shaking.  
  
“Want me to go in there and tell him off?” Louis says. “I might not get fired.”  
  
Harry smiles. “No, Lou, it’s okay,” he says. He sighs. “I wish my sister lived in Manchester. I’d set her up with Ben, see how he likes getting rejected.”  
  
“C’mon, your sister doesn’t deserve that,” Louis says. “Having to go on even one date with Ben is probably torture, even if you get to reject him.”  
  
“Oh, God,” Harry moans, covering his face. “I’m going to get kicked out of my flat.”  
  
“You can always move in with me,” Louis says, shrugging. Trying to seem casual. “Y’know. If you want.”  
  
“I, um. Yeah,” Harry says. He peeks out from between his fingers, his eyes wide. “I mean. If she does kick me out. And I have nowhere else to go.”  
  
“Oh, I see,” Louis says. “I’m your last resort. I get it.”  
  
“Definitely,” Harry says cheekily. “I wouldn’t rather live with you than anyone else in the world, or anything.”  
  
“Feeling’s mutual,” Louis says with a smile.  
  
“Okay, so it’s settled,” Harry says. “If Sarah kicks me out, I’ll move in with you.”  
  
Privately, Louis really hopes Harry does get kicked out of his flat. Stan’s left him to backpack around Australia, like he’s trying to star in a horror film, so Louis’s alone anyway. He’d love nothing more than for Harry to move in.  
  
By the end of the day, Ben’s yelled at pretty much everyone in the office for their suggestions. Everyone else goes home pissed off with him, but Louis can’t quite find it in his heart to be that upset. If Ben’s wildly high standards are the catalyst for Harry moving in with him – for Louis getting to spend every moment with the love of his life – well then. He’s glad Ben’s such a shitty person.

 

***

 

“You know what, it actually totally makes sense for you to move in with me now,” Louis says to Harry a couple of days later, when they’re sat on the sofa after dinner. “Because soon you’re going to London, and it would suck to have to pay rent on your flat here when you’re not living here. Also, like, if you move in now, we’ll get to spend all our time together until you have to leave.”  
  
He’s flushed by the time he finishes talking, embarrassed and looking at his hands. It’s still tough every time he puts it all on the line, like deep down he’s expecting Harry to realise this is all a mistake. He supposes part of him still doesn’t quite believe this is happening.  
  
Harry takes hold of Louis’s hands, which makes Louis look up. Harry’s eyes are shining and he’s smiling, he looks so happy.  
  
“You’re right,” Harry says. “That sounds amazing.”  
  
A smile spreads across Louis’s face.  
  
“And I’m glad you said so,” Harry adds. “Because Sarah’s definitely angry with me. I think Ben really insulted her.”  
  
“Poor thing,” Louis says. “You should take her some flowers or a fruit basket. When you tell her you’re moving out.”  
  
Harry beams. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”  
  
Louis leans in and gives him a quick kiss. It still sends tingles down his spine.  
  
“You know, this is actually moving quite fast, for me,” Harry muses. “I was with Xavier for two years before we moved in together. I had this whole thing about not living with someone unless I was engaged to them.”  
  
“Oh really,” Louis says. “And, what? You don’t care about that anymore?”  
  
“Well, I think it’s more, like – this feels different, you know? I don’t need you to propose to know it’s real.”  
  
“Oh,” Louis says, feigning ignorance and actually ignoring the happy butterflies that statement causes. “Have I not proposed to you yet?”  
  
Harry tips his head to the side, clearly trying to hide a smile. “Mmm, no, I don’t think so.”  
  
“I’ll have to get on that,” Louis says, leaning back in.  
  
“Will you now,” Harry murmurs, his mouth almost brushing Louis’s.  
  
“Definitely,” Louis says, moving forward that extra centimeter.

 

***

 

“Liam! Harry! Louis! Grab your things!” Ben cries, striding out of his office.  
  
Louis doesn’t move. “Why, Ben?”  
  
“Because we – ” he gestures between himself, Harry at reception, and Liam and Louis “ – are going for a lads night out! In Sheffield!”  
  
“Uh, no,” Louis says. Besides the fact that it’s only 3pm? And he doesn’t want to drive a three hour round trip? Or go out in Sheffield, which is likely extremely boring? This is the last thing he wants to do. He and Harry already have plans to cuddle on his sofa and finish the third season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. “Harry and I are busy.”  
  
“Nope,” Ben says cheerfully. “I won’t take no for an answer. Zayn invited the four of us specifically, and he said if one of us didn’t come, then none of us should come.”  
  
Louis shares a look with Harry. It’s pretty obvious why he said that, and they both know it.  
  
“Zayn said that?” Liam asks, his voice small. Ah, fuck.  
  
Louis looks at Harry again. He supposes they’ll be going to Sheffield.  
  
Ben tells them to go home immediately and get ready, because he’ll be picking them up at five. The mood’s pretty somber as Louis and Harry get into Louis’s car.  
  
“Maybe it’ll be fun?” Harry says, not sounding very sure.  
  
“Which part? The three hour round trip with Ben and Liam, our two favourite people in the world, or the clubbing in the most boring place in the world, with what promises to be a supremely awkward Zayn and Liam?”  
  
“Well, none of that,” Harry says, making a face. Then he brightens. “But, being out with you?” He smiles hopefully. “Maybe we can sneak away.”  
  
Louis can’t help smiling at that, either. “I hope so, Curly,” he says. “At any rate, at least we’ll have each other.”  
  
“Yeah,” Harry says happily. “Always.”

*

He drops Harry off at his flat – which won’t be his flat for much longer! – so he can get changed, and then goes back to his own and deliberates over an outfit. He knows he technically doesn’t have to impress Harry, that Harry’s already his, but he can’t help it. He wants to look good.  
  
He ends up with his tightest grey jeans, which he knows his bum looks amazing in, and a tight white t-shirt. It’s a low v-neck, so his collarbones are kind of on display. He thinks it looks alright. It’s June, so it’s starting to get warm, but Louis thinks it could still be quite cool at night. He digs out a black faux leather jacket from the pile in front of his wardrobe – he never wears it, but he thinks he likes the effect. Kind of like he belongs in Grease.  
  
It’s only four by the time he’s finished, so he throws some comfier clothes in a bag with his toothbrush, because who knows when they’ll be coming home, and then he spends a good twenty minutes styling his hair into what Nick had dubbed ‘the cinnamon swirl’, back in Leeds. It definitely goes with the jacket.  
  
Ben picks Louis up at ten to five, with Liam in the passenger seat, and then they head over to Harry’s. Liam looks good, like he had when Zayn had visited, better than he has in ages. He’s brighter than usual too, though clearly nervous. Louis actually feels for him.  
  
And then they pull up in front of Harry’s flat. Ben texts Harry and he walks out shortly after, and – holy shit. _Holy shit_.  
  
Louis is stunned by Harry at all times. It’s not like this is anything new. And still, God, sometimes it just throws him for a loop how goddamn beautiful this boy is. Louis still can’t believe he’s _his_.  
  
He’s wearing tight black jeans with holes in the knees, and a sheer black shirt, unbuttoned to his stomach and rolled up to his elbows. Louis can see his tattoos through his shirt, as well as his goddamn _nipples_. And he’s wearing pink metallic boots and his hair is curly and perfect, and Louis is honestly fucking salivating.  
  
Harry disappears as he pops his bag in the boot, and then the door opens and he’s twisting awkwardly to get in the car, his legs too long and too confined in his jeans to sit comfortably. Louis can’t stop watching him.  
  
“Hiiii,” Harry says, looking at Liam and Ben, and then he looks at Louis. Louis’s heart pounds as he watches Harry’s eyes actually get darker. “Hi, Lou.”  
  
“You look fucking beautiful,” Louis says. “Jesus fucking Christ.”  
  
Harry giggles. “Thanks, love,” he says. “You look… amazing. I can’t believe you’re mine.”  
  
“Fucking same,” Louis says, and then he can’t help himself – Liam and Ben be damned – he pulls Harry in by the front of his sheer fucking shirt and kisses him. It’s hot and desperate, and Louis feels like he’ll die if he doesn’t get his hands all over Harry – has no idea how he’s supposed to spend an hour and a half in a car next to this beautiful boy and somehow keep his hands to himself –  
  
Liam coughs, and Louis ignores him, too busy sucking on Harry’s bottom lip. He doesn’t break away til Ben says, “Alright, enough. If you two keep that up, one of you will be swapping with Liam.”  
  
Louis pulls away regretfully, but when he lets go of Harry’s shirt, he runs his hand down until his fingers find Harry’s. He’d rather hold Harry’s hand for the next hour, if nothing else.  
  
He’s suddenly glad they’re going out clubbing, if only because he gets to be out with the best boy in the world by his side. He kind of can’t wait to be in some dark, dirty club, where he can grind up on his stupidly hot boyfriend and nobody will stop him.

*

They stop for food, but it’s still only seven by the time they get into Sheffield. Zayn wants to meet at a pub first, because it’s too early to be going to Sheffield's only club.  
  
“Ben, are you really sure he wanted us to come out here?” Louis asks as they walk the streets to the pub, feeling like something’s not adding up. Every time he’s seen or heard from Zayn recently, he’s acted like he’s better than them. And it’s not like they were ever really friends before.  
  
“He definitely does,” Ben says. “Look, check my phone if you don’t believe me.”  
  
Louis scrolls through Ben’s texts from Zayn, from _whennnn are you lot getting here?_ to _yeah man that sounds sickkk!!_ to _hey man you should come out n party wit me tonight!!!_ None of them sound exceptionally sober, or exceptionally like Zayn – the weirdest one is _bringg Liam louis and harry! but if one of u says no then don’t bother. All for one and one for all!!!!_ \-- and if he hadn’t mentioned Louis, Harry and Liam by name, Louis would assume he hadn’t meant to send those texts to Ben at all.  
  
Louis shrugs and gives Ben his phone back, figuring that if Zayn’s had a lobotomy or something, they’ll soon find out.

*

“Heyyyy! Ben!” Zayn cries as soon as he sees him, giving him a loose hug. He’s obviously wasted. “And these guys!” He throws his arms around both Harry and Louis at the same time, and then he clearly sobers a bit. “And Liam. Hi.”  
  
“Hi, Zayn,” Liam says warily.  
  
“Um,” Zayn says profoundly, then yells, “Shots? Who wants shots?”  
  
“Uh, I’ll get us a round,” Harry says, heading off to the bar.  
  
Zayn goes back to staring at Liam. “How’ve you all been?”  
  
“Really good,” Louis says.  
  
“Well, me and Liam were dumped recently,” Ben says, thoroughly oblivious, and Louis winces. So does Zayn. “But we’re getting back out there! We were hoping tonight we could get on the rebound.”  
  
“Oh,” Zayn says, his eyes dark and cloudy. He’s still watching Liam. “Is that so, Liam?”  
  
“Um,” Liam says. “I s’pose so.”  
  
Zayn frowns, and then he turns and pulls a seemingly random girl into their circle. She’s blonde and skinny and wearing a black crop top. “Here, I’ve been meaning to introduce you guys. This is Gigi.”  
  
Gigi wraps herself around Zayn and giggles, and Louis’s stomach sinks. He looks at Liam, who looks quietly devastated for a second before his face goes blank.  
  
Shit. This is going to be a long fucking night.

*

The club’s alright, when they eventually get there. A load of rich snobs in the VIP area where Zayn and his friends are, but once Louis drags Harry down into the main area, he starts to have a good time. The music’s decent, mostly EDM, and Louis’s taste in music is so vast that he quite enjoys it. There’s so many people down here, sweaty and dancing, but there’s no one he knows. They’ve lost Ben and Liam and Zayn, so it’s just Louis and Harry, alone in a sea of people. Perfect.  
  
He wraps his arms around Harry’s waist and pulls him close. He leans in and says in Harry’s ear, “This isn’t so bad, is it?”  
  
“You’re the one who said it’d be bad,” Harry yells back with a laugh. “It’s good. It’d be better if I could kiss you.”  
  
“What’s stopping you?” Louis asks. “All these people. Want them to know you’re mine.”  
  
Harry closes his eyes and pushes hard against Louis. Louis wishes he could hear him, he’s pretty sure he’s whining.  
  
Louis tilts Harry’s chin to the right height and then threads his fingers back into his hair, and then kisses him. Finally. Sometimes he feels like he goes centuries without kissing Harry.  
  
And it’s good. It’s so good, the music pumping in Louis’s blood and his hands and mouth on the only boy who matters. It’s amazing how every kiss, every touch always lights Louis up from the inside, makes him feel so full of love he could burst.  
  
It feels like a weird almost-foreplay, because he wants Harry so fucking badly, but he’s also content to just stay like this, just kissing and dancing.

*

By one AM, Louis’s still with Harry, but he can see Zayn, Ben, and Liam nearby. They’ve lost Gigi and the rest of Zayn’s friends, which is a bit of a relief. At least Liam looks a bit less gloomy.  
  
Louis’s quite drunk, and he’s ready to get out of here, to finally get somewhere more private and tear Harry’s clothes off.  
  
It’s then he realises that he’s pretty sure they haven’t booked a place to stay for the night.  
  
“Shit,” he says, and kisses Harry quickly before grabbing his hand and stumbling over to Ben and Zayn. “Shit, Ben, where are we sleeping tonight?”  
  
“Uh,” Ben says. “I didn’t… exactly… plan that.”  
  
“What? Why not?” Louis cries. He looks at Harry, incredulous, and Harry’s frowning like he knows something’s the matter but he’s not sure what yet.  
  
“I thought we’d work it out as we went along?” Ben says, like that’s the perfectly logical thing to do.  
  
“Why the fuck would you think that?” Louis asks.  
  
“Well you never suggested anything, did you Louis?” Ben snaps, and Zayn holds up his hands.  
  
“Whoa, guys, calm down,” he says. “You can all sleep at my place. I’ve got a two bedroom flat, there’s enough room.”  
  
“Really?” Louis asks, squinting at him. Zayn literally feels like a different person right now. Louis thinks he might be getting into some pretty hard drugs.  
  
Zayn nods. “I miss you guys. I don’t have any real friends out here.”  
  
Louis doesn’t know what to say to that. He definitely didn’t think Zayn considered him a real friend. “Do you think we can get going soon?” he asks instead.  
  
Zayn’s all too happy to leave, and so are Harry and Liam. Ben’s the only one complaining, since apparently he hasn’t managed to even dance with a woman yet, but they drag him from the club anyway.

*

Zayn’s flat is huge, and it’s beautiful. Louis is seriously impressed, and he can tell Harry is too.  
  
They’d made a detour to Ben’s car to get their bags, and by the time they’d gotten to Zayn’s, Zayn’d started flagging.  
  
“The second bedroom’s through there,” he says, gesturing lazily. “Harry and Louis can take that. And then there’s the sofa.” He and Liam exchange a heated look after he says that. They’re very obvious; Louis doesn’t know how Ben still hasn’t picked up on it. “Um, and I’m going to bed.”  
  
“D’you want me to help you get undressed?” Ben asks. “You’re mortal, mate.”  
  
“No,” Zayn says quickly. “Please. No. Um, Liam? Liam can help me.”  
  
“I can?” Liam asks, sounding surprised.  
  
“Yes,” says Zayn, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him down the hallway.  
  
“Don’t do anything creepy Liam! Don’t sleep in his bed like a weirdo!” Ben calls after them. Then he heaves a big sigh and collapses on the sofa.  
  
Louis turns to Harry, who’s raised his eyebrows. “Want to find this spare bedroom, then?”

*

The spare bedroom’s nice, if impersonally decorated. Louis doesn’t care; he barely looks around before he’s pouncing on Harry, pushing him back against the door. He kisses Harry like he had at the club, hard and deep.  
  
It might be weird to have sex in Zayn’s flat. Louis’s not sure, and he doesn’t care. It feels like it’s been nine years since he’s seen Harry naked. Like, actually it was just this morning, and also they had sex last night, but Louis’s pretty sure he’s been turned on since Harry got in the car at five. That’s like nine hours ago. It may as well be nine years.  
  
Louis doesn't give a shit whose flat they're in.

 

***

 

Louis and Harry have started going out for lunch almost every day. Even if it’s just to the café downstairs, it’s nice to get away from everyone and have an hour to themselves.  
  
Today they’re walking around the corner to their favourite fish and chip shop, and once they’re out of the gates, Louis does what he’s done every time they’ve walked out of the car park for the last few weeks. He drops to one knee.  
  
Harry turns to look at him. His eyes widen and his hand flies up to touch his heart, like always. And then he smiles. “You need to stop,” Harry says. “It’s almost like crying wolf at this point.”  
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Louis says. “I have something important to ask you.”  
  
“Do you want me to wait for you while you tie your shoelace?” Harry asks, because that’s what Louis usually says.  
  
“No,” Louis says. “I have a real, serious, important question.”  
  
Harry blinks at him for a few seconds, then he bites his lip. Yep. Louis’s got him.  
  
“Will you, Harry Styles, do me the honour,” Louis starts. “Of moving in with me?”  
  
Harry tilts his head back and looks at the sky, and then he pulls Louis up. “I hate you,” he says, but he’s smiling.  
  
“C’mon, I’m not gonna propose on the dirty pavement outside work,” Louis says. “Although, this is almost where we met. Maybe I should reconsider…”  
  
He starts to kneel again and Harry pulls him upright. “No,” Harry says. “That’s enough of that. And I _know_ you aren’t. You still get me going.” He gives a playful glare and Louis grins.  
  
“You didn’t answer my question,” Louis says. “I was serious. Will you move in with me? As soon as possible?”  
  
Harry’s face softens and he smiles. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, of course.”  
  
Louis kisses him, relieved and so happy. They’d talked about it, so he wasn’t really expecting Harry to say no, but still. It’s still really good.  
  
They might be late coming back from lunch.

*

Harry moves in that weekend. He’s fixed things with his landlady Sarah – he says he baked her macarons and bought a giant bouquet of flowers, which is very Harry, he can’t stand to have people upset with him – and she let him out of his lease. It was up in a few weeks anyway, apparently, but whatever. That’s all worked out, and on Saturday Louis goes to Harry’s flat and helps him pack up his things.  
  
Harry’s already done half of it, because of course he has, and he has a system that Louis can’t quite comprehend. He spends more time playing with Merida than he does actually helping Harry, but he says he’ll help more when they get to his place.  
  
Ed, Niall, and Perrie come over mid-afternoon to help load everything into the truck they’d borrowed from Josh in the warehouse. Josh’s probably the one person down there who doesn’t hate Harry and Louis after the whole Xavier debacle; it’s a lucky coincidence that he’s the one who owns a truck.  
  
With five of them, getting the boxes and furniture down into the truck is easier and quicker than Louis expected. They put everything they’ll be donating in first, right at the back of the truck; they’ll deal with that tomorrow. Everything else is taken out at Louis’s and brought up in the lift to his flat, except for the sofa which they have to maneuver upstairs. It’s a pain in the arse, especially because they still have to cart Louis’s sofa downstairs, but it just makes sense. Harry only bought his sofa last year, and it’s much nicer than Louis’s.  
  
Still, it takes a long time, and all five of them are exhausted by the time they’re finished. They fall wherever they’re standing onto the floor of Louis’s loungeroom, and it takes another few minutes before Louis has the energy to ask if anyone wants pizza.  
  
That night, after everyone goes home, he and Harry christen the flat. They’ve already had sex just about everywhere, but that was when it was Louis’s home. Now it’s LouisAndHarry’s, which makes a huge difference. And Harry has a domesticity kink a mile wide, so it’s a wild night.  
  
The next day they unpack. Louis tries to get out of it by spending more time with Merida; he’s worried about her acclimating, but she seems to like it at Louis’s well enough. She curls up on the sofa and ignores him, leaving him with no choice but to help Harry.  
  
Louis ends up throwing out a lot of his old junk to make room for Harry, which is fine, but it starts to feel like spring cleaning. Louis _hates_ spring cleaning. Meanwhile Harry’s in his element, cleaning and tidying and sorting, which makes Louis enjoy it a bit more.  
  
Then Harry says, “It’s almost like we’re nesting,” with a big smile, and Louis just can’t find it within himself to _not_ love every second of this. It ends up being the best weekend he’s had in a long time.

 

***

 

A few weeks later, Harry leaves for London.  
  
Being in the office without Harry has always been weird, but now that he’s Louis’s boyfriend it’s extra weird. Louis truly misses looking up and seeing his face. Or hearing his voice say, “Syco Software, this is Harry,” when the phone rings.  
  
There’s a new receptionist, Lauren, and she’s perfectly sweet. Louis genuinely likes her. But she’s obviously not Harry.  
  
After about a week, the plants start wilting.  
  
“What the hell,” says Ben. “Have the cleaning crew stopped watering the plants? Can someone find out?”  
  
Something about that strikes a chord in Louis’s memory. “Um, I could be wrong,” he says. “But I think it was Harry who watered the plants.”  
  
Ben looks utterly inconvenienced. “What the hell,” he mutters. “Alright, Lauren, I guess you have another job to do then.”  
  
Louis isn’t going to get down to visit Harry until next weekend. They worked it out so that they’ll do visits every two weeks so as not to tire themselves out. But they've already formed Facetime and Snapchat addictions. Louis’s pretty sure they'll be able to handle it. It just sucks.  
  
Harry had to leave Merida behind, so Louis’s nighttime routine has changed; now, he goes home and pops in a microwavable meal, then he cuddles with the cat and Facetimes Harry. Merida is no replacement for actual human contact, but Louis’s glad to have her. He’d be feeling so much lonelier without her.

It's probably weird, because Harry wasn't even living with him for that long, but with him gone, the flat just doesn't feel like home anymore.

 

***

 

The last time Louis visited Harry in London, they went shopping and found these microscopic Bluetooth headsets. Harry picked them up and said that they should use them to be on the phone twenty-four/seven, to make use of their unlimited minutes. Louis’s favourite thing about it is that he gets to hear every minute of Harry’s day, but his second favourite thing is how much it confuses Liam.  
  
“Ooh, shoe sale,” Harry says. Louis’s pretty sure he’s walking down the street. Meanwhile, Louis’s lodging his sales onto his computer.  
  
“How many pairs of shoes do you really need?” Louis asks, unable to keep from smiling.  
  
“I suppose, strictly speaking, I _need_ about three pairs,” Liam says, like he’s thought about it. Louis valiantly doesn’t laugh. “But you know I like shoes, Louis. I won't apologise for it.”  
  
“Shut up, Tomlinson,” Harry’s saying. “I don’t have that many shoes.”  
  
“How many do you need?” Liam asks.  
  
“I’m not talking to you,” Louis says, inputting the numbers from his last sale.  
  
Liam frowns. “Then who are you talking to?”  
  
“Harry,” Louis says. Harry giggles.  
  
“HARRY’S NOT HERE LOUIS,” Liam cries. “I’m seriously worried about you! I think you’re losing it!”  
  
“He has a point, Lou,” Harry says seriously. “You’re falling apart without me.”  
  
“I know,” Louis says. “I’m not eating or sleeping or bathing – ”  
  
“Gross,” Harry says. “I’m never coming back, then.”  
  
“Okay, I’ll shower,” Louis acquiesces. Liam’s staring at him.  
  
“ _Harry’s not here_ ,” he hisses. “I think we need to get you to a psychiatrist. I’m actually getting worried.”  
  
Harry giggles. “This is too good.”  
  
“I agree,” Louis says, and then laughs, because Liam thinks he’s talking to him. Fuck. He wonders how long it'll be before he figures it out.

 

***

 

Louis misses Harry so, so much. He’s bored all the time at work – he keeps meeting his sales quota far quicker than usual, and occasionally he’ll play a joke on Liam, but it’s really not the same without Harry.  
  
He’s just _bored_. That’s why he starts the band.  
  
He knows Ed and Niall helped Harry make his CD last Christmas. And he knows Jade plays drums. There’s even a drumset down in the warehouse, because Josh likes to play when he’s got time. Louis thinks some of the warehouse guys have a band. Truth be told, that’s where he got the idea.  
  
He emails Niall, Ed and Jade on a particularly slow day, and they’re all on board, so they go down to the warehouse that afternoon to have a look. They end up jamming for a while, playing the instruments the warehouse guys keep down there, and it’s good. It’s really good.  
  
(The warehouse guys still aren’t Louis’s biggest fans, but Louis doesn’t care so long as they don’t stop him playing here.)  
  
“I’ll bring in my guitar tomorrow,” Ed says, and Niall says he will too.  
  
“I can bring in my keyboard,” Louis says. “Are we doing this?”  
  
“We’re doing this,” says Jade.  
  
Louis tells Harry later over the phone.  
  
“That sounds so awesome,” Harry says. “Fuck, I wish I could be there. Can I join when I get back?”  
  
“I’ll keep a space open for you,” Louis promises. “You can be our frontman.”  
  
Harry giggles. “I don’t know about that,” he says. “I just want to be in the band.”  
  
“Mm, no, it’s decided,” Louis says. “We’ll call ourselves The Harry Styles Experience.”  
  
Harry laughs. “I won’t be in it at all if you call it that.”  
  
Louis sighs like he's making a giant sacrifice. “Alright, we can brainstorm.”  
  
The band is good. It’s good to be excited about something at work again, and it helps that there’s the promise of Harry’s return, of Harry joining them. Louis goes home to Merida that night, curls up with her on the sofa and calls Harry for another chat, and he thinks he might be able to make it through this.

 

***

 

Louis doesn’t exactly like Harry’s friend Jeff. He's the boss's son at Harry's internship, he's at least in his thirties, and he's much too interested in Harry.  
  
It’s not that Louis doesn’t trust Harry, or that he thinks Harry would cheat on him. He absolutely doesn’t. He completely trusts Harry. He thinks it’s just his own insecurities, his own disbelief still that this is actually happening, that Harry actually wants to be with him seriously after all this time. As well as that, Harry’s been gone for seven weeks now, and Louis misses him terribly. He’s also unspeakably jealous of literally everyone Harry comes into contact with, which means that because Jeff spends so much time with Harry, Louis is the most jealous of him.  
  
He just has bad feelings about it, that’s all. And it’s not like Harry hasn’t left someone he supposedly loves before.  
  
Okay, yeah. That sounds too much like not trusting Harry. Fuck. That’s really not it.  
  
Louis just… he just has so many complicated feelings, he doesn’t know what to do with them. He’s definitely happy Harry’s out pursuing his dream. He just… really misses him. It makes his thoughts all stupid.  
  
If he’s learned nothing else over the past six months, it’s that he and Harry are at their best when they’re together. As soon as they separate, Louis starts thinking things he knows aren’t true.

 

***

 

“Hey,” Louis hears someone say to Harry. “I was wondering if I could talk to you?”  
  
Harry’s at his internship and they're using the microscopic headsets, they’ve both been quietly working and occasionally having little conversations. It’s nice, really, just quietly _being_ with Harry. But now _Jeff_ wants to talk to him.  
  
“Yeah, of course,” Harry says.  
  
“We can go into Meeting Room A,” Jeff says. Louis doesn’t like the sound of that.  
  
There’s a bunch of rustling sounds, and then the sound of a door closing and chairs scraping.  
  
“So I wanted to talk to you about your future,” Jeff says. Louis makes a face.  
  
“Oh, that sounds ominous,” Harry says, clearly aiming for light. Louis still hears his anxiety.  
  
“No, it’s good stuff,” Jeff says. “Firstly, now that your thirteen weeks with us are almost up, I just wanted to know what your plans were.”  
  
“Oh,” Harry says. “Well, I’m gonna go back to Manchester. This has been a great opportunity, and I’ve learned so much, but my life’s there.”  
  
“Right, I thought you’d say that,” Jeff says. “Here’s the thing though. You’re so talented, and you have so much potential. You’ve only been here three months, that’s barely enough time to figure out what you have to offer.”  
  
“Um,” Harry says. “Thank you?”  
  
“You’re welcome,” Jeff says. “Look, Harry, I’d hate to see you go back to a receptionist gig and waste your talents. And London’s the place to be for art, and you already have a foot in the door. I don’t think you should give up on the idea of staying here.”  
  
“Oh,” Harry says, clearly not expecting that at all. Louis, meanwhile, is completely not surprised. “Wow.”  
  
“I know you’ll need to think about it,” Jeff says. “I just wanted to make sure you did.”  
  
“But Louis’s in Manchester,” Harry says, and Louis’s heart jumps. “And my job.”  
  
“It’s my dad’s company,” Jeff says. “If you wanted to stay, you definitely have a job here. And, I don’t know. Ask Louis to move, maybe. Just don’t give up on the idea.”  
  
“Right,” Harry says, sounding absent. “Alright. Yeah. I’ll think about it.”  
  
“That’s all I wanted,” Jeff says.  
  
“Thank you,” Harry says, and there’s a scraping of chairs and a door closing.  
  
“That was weird,” Harry says quietly. He must be alone now.  
  
“If he didn’t have a girlfriend, I’d assume he had a thing for you,” Louis says lightly. Joking is easier than confronting the issue, he thinks.  
  
“Ha,” Harry says. “No, he’s pretty into Glenne.”  
  
“Yeah,” Louis says. “So… what do you think?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Harry says. “I mean, our lives are in Manchester. And I’d never ask you to move here, I don’t want you to uproot everything. And I won’t live here without you. So.”  
  
Louis bites his lip. “Why don’t you give yourself some time to think about it? And we’ll talk about it later,” he suggests.  
  
“Yeah, okay,” Harry says. He still sounds distracted.  
  
“But H, if this is what you want, we’ll figure out a way to make it work,” Louis says.  
  
“I love you,” Harry says, sounding present now.  
  
“I love you too,” Louis says fiercely.

 

***

 

Harry’s quieter than usual over the last week of his internship. Louis asks him what he wants to do, keeps prodding at him to talk, but Harry just says he’s still thinking about it. Louis’s developed a rather horrible feeling that Harry’s made up his mind, that he wants to stay in London – he’d be mad not to, it’s clearly what’s best for his career, he has a job he’d love lined up, and he loves London. Louis can’t really comprehend him choosing dreary old Manchester and Louis over something he’s always wanted.  
  
By the end of the week, he’s got himself convinced that’s what Harry wants. That he’s just keeping quiet on it because he doesn’t want to hurt Louis. Harry probably doesn’t want to break up, but that’s surely inevitable. Louis spends all Friday in a slump, prematurely heartbroken.  
  
He leaves the office feeling even worse, because Harry’s coming back this weekend and everyone knows. They’d all been chattering excitedly about how happy they were for him, to finally have Harry home. Given that Louis’s about ninety-five per cent sure his relationship’s going to implode this weekend, their enthusiasm was like knives in his chest.  
  
So he walks out of the building feeling like shit, and then he looks up and he sees Harry leaning against his car, the late afternoon sun bathing him in a soft glow. He looks golden, like the embodiment of his soul, and Louis feels short of breath just seeing him. He makes it across the parking lot in a few long steps.  
  
“Hey, baby,” Louis says, wrapping Harry up in a hug. “What’re you doing here? I thought you were coming back tomorrow.”  
  
“I couldn’t wait,” Harry says, clinging to Louis’s back. “I missed you too much.”  
  
“I missed you too,” Louis says, and shit. It’s been _weeks_ since he’s touched Harry, since he’s _smelled_ him. It hurts all the more, seeing in real life everything he’s about to lose.  
  
“Are you okay, Lou? You’re shaking,” Harry says, trying to pull apart, probably so he can see Louis’s face. Louis just holds him tighter.  
  
“’M fine, just. Gimme a minute,” he says into Harry’s shoulder.  
  
“Okay,” Harry says, kissing the side of his head. Then, after a moment, he says, “We should get going soon though. Once other people come out I’ll have to talk to them.”  
  
Louis swallows the lump in his throat. “Right,” he says.  
  
“I drove here,” Harry says. “So d’you wanna take separate cars or do you wanna come back?”  
  
“Can we take yours and come back for mine later?” Louis asks. He doesn’t feel up to driving, and he definitely doesn’t feel up to being away from Harry. He’d probably just start sobbing the second he was alone in his car.  
  
“Yeah, of course,” Harry says. “C’mon, let’s go home.”  
  
_Home_. Somehow just that word gives Louis the strength to pull away, to smile at Harry like everything’s okay, and to get in the car.

*

He helps Harry carry in his bags and boxes, kind of hoping to put off the inevitable talk they’re going to have. He doesn’t let himself think about whether Harry bringing back all of his stuff is a good sign. Maybe it just means he’ll be staying here for a little bit before he goes back to London.  
  
“D’you want to unpack tonight? I’ll help,” Louis says.  
  
Harry smiles at him, looking amused. “Really? I don’t remember you being much help when I moved in.”  
  
Louis frowns. “You must be remembering it wrong, I was very helpful.”  
  
Harry laughs. “Of course you were,” he says. “Actually, no, I was hoping we could get take away and just have a cuddle? I missed you so much, I think I need to spend all night touching you.”  
  
Louis bites his lip to keep his smile in, but he feels his cheeks flush so he’s probably unsuccessful in hiding how much that affects him. “Okay,” he says. “What d’you feel like?”  
  
Harry says pizza, and then gets distracted by Merida finally coming out to say hello. So Louis orders while Harry catches up with the cat, then they sit down together on the sofa.  
  
“We need to talk about something, too,” Harry says, and Louis’s stomach sinks. Fuck. This is it.  
  
“Okay,” Louis says, closing his eyes and trying to breathe.  
  
“Well, I’ve done a lot of thinking this week,” Harry says. Louis tries to brace himself, but he doesn’t know how he could ever truly be ready to hear what Harry’s about to say. “And I decided I don’t want to stay in London.”  
  
Louis nods, and then freezes. Wait. What?  
  
“You what?” he croaks.  
  
“I want to stay here. I like it here. I mean, I love London, but… I don’t need to be there right now. I can take photos anywhere, and you’re here. That’s what matters.”  
  
“Harry,” Louis says softly, unable to comprehend what he’s hearing. “H, sweetheart. This is such an amazing opportunity for you. I don’t want you to throw it away because of me.”  
  
“I’m not,” Harry says. “It’s for me. Lou, I pretty much spent a year without you, and it was hell. And we worked in the same room! This would be absolutely the worst decision I could’ve made.”  
  
Louis bites his lip. “I just,” he says. “I don’t want you to regret this.”  
  
“I _won’t_ ,” Harry says fiercely. “Look, I went to London to learn things and to make some connections, and that’s what I did. Moving there full time was never in the plan. And I talked to Jeff, and he’s going to get me some freelance work, so. It’ll all work out.”  
  
“Okay,” Louis says, finally letting himself believe it. Letting himself breathe. “If you’re sure.”  
  
“I am,” Harry says. “Jesus, Lou, you’re so much more important to me than my career. My life doesn’t make sense without you.”  
  
Louis wants to cry. He’s trying really fucking hard not to cry. “I love you so fucking much,” he says, his voice breaking. “I thought I was going to lose you.”  
  
Harry launches across the sofa, jostling Merida who jumps off his lap. “Never,” Harry says, wrapping himself around Louis. “I could never, I don’t ever want to leave you.”  
  
“Feeling’s mutual,” Louis all but whispers, his face buried in Harry’s hair.  
  
_This_. This is home.

 

***

 

Going back to work is weird for Harry. Mostly because someone else has his job.  
  
Louis doesn’t sit in on Harry’s meetings with Ben, because that would be weird, so he doesn’t quite know what’s going on. Harry sits him down in the breakroom after he finishes with Ben, so they can have a shred of privacy.  
  
“Well,” Harry says. “He says he’s not going to fire Lauren. He likes her. I suggested he give her Zayn’s old job, but he didn’t like that idea.”  
  
Louis frowns. “I mean, I like Lauren too,” he says. “But she’s not – she doesn’t do half the things you did. I don’t understand.”  
  
Harry shrugs. “Neither do I, if I’m honest. Um… he may have insinuated that he likes having a female receptionist.”  
  
Louis frowns, and then he gets it. “Oh. Ew. _Ew_.”  
  
“I _know_ ,” Harry says, making a face. “But, uh, anyway, he didn’t want to fire me.”  
  
“Well, he can’t,” Louis says. “He knew you were coming back. It was a company sponsored internship!”  
  
Harry smiles. “Relax, love,” he says. “Um, he wants to put me in another department.”  
  
“Oh,” Louis says. He hadn’t thought of that. “Which one?”  
  
“Well, we thought I could try sales,” Harry says. He looks nervous; Louis doesn’t know why. He thinks this is a great idea.  
  
“That’s sick,” he says. “We’d be working together properly!”  
  
A relieved smile slowly spreads across Harry’s face. “Yeah,” he says. “You think that’d be alright?”  
  
“I think it’ll be wicked,” Louis says. “Are you happy with it? Do you want to do sales?”  
  
Harry shrugs. “It could be fun,” he says. “I’ve always wondered if I’d be any good at it.”  
  
“It’s a big change,” Louis says. “I’m proud of you, sunflower.”  
  
Harry blushes beautifully, biting down on his smile. “Thanks,” he says softly.

*

They move a desk from the annex into Louis and Liam’s desk clump. So not only are Harry and Louis in the same department, they get to sit next to each other. Louis is just feeling more and more thrilled by this decision.  
  
Also, Harry’s so effortlessly charming. He’s the loveliest person Louis’s ever met. He’s sure to have no problem at all making sales.

 

***

 

Louis’s going to propose.  
  
He’s not sure when. That’s the problem. He wants it be to amazing, he wants to take Harry’s breath away. He’s pretty sure Harry will say yes regardless – that’s not the problem. Harry _deserves_ a stunning proposal.  
  
Then Ben’s birthday comes up and solves the problem.  
  
He’s turning thirty-nine, which is apparently a big deal. He wants the party to end all parties, because his thirties are ending and he needs a big celebration before he’s forty.  
  
Louis doesn’t quite get it. Ben keeps yammering on about celebrating his lost youth and how life ends at forty, and all Louis hears is big, extravagant event. Perfect.  
  
Louis tells Ben he’d love to help plan it, and then suggests fireworks first off. Start at the top.  
  
“Yes!” Ben cries. “Yes, perfect! End my thirties with a bang, literally. I love it.”  
  
“Exactly,” says Louis. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”  
  
It wasn’t. He just thinks fireworks will make his proposal more amazing. Although he knows Harry doesn’t love fireworks from up close, so he’ll have to organise for them to be quite far away. That should be alright, though.  
  
“Where were you thinking of having this party?” Louis asks.  
  
“Oh! Good question,” says Ben. “I was originally thinking here, but if we have fireworks, that won’t work…” he trails off, looking thoughtful. “Somewhere beautiful. Somewhere that suits me.”  
  
Louis has to try very hard not to laugh. “How about the park around the corner? It’s got that gorgeous lake, and the trees, and there’s acres of room.”  
  
Sometimes he and Harry will take their packed lunches and walk down there, spend their breaks by the lake watching the birds. It’s lovely. If Louis can pull this off, Harry will love it.  
  
Ben nods. “Yes,” he says. “Yes, I like that. I’m picturing lanterns, and fireworks over the lake.”  
  
“Wait, I thought this was happening during the day?” Louis says.  
  
“Might be nicer at the end of the day,” Ben says. “From four to seven. Something like that.”  
  
“Right,” Louis says. “So I’m trying to think of what else we can do that celebrates your youth, and I’m thinking – ferris wheel.”  
  
“Ohhhh, yes,” says Ben. “Very good, Louis. Yes.”  
  
“Nice,” Louis says. It has nothing to do with the ferris wheel being Harry’s favourite carnival ride. “And what about music? How d’you feel about the office band?”  
  
“There’s an office band?” Ben asks, and wow. They leave work to play at least once a week, how does he not notice?  
  
“Myself, Harry, Ed, Niall, and Jade are in a band,” Louis says. “We’d be happy to play.”  
  
“Yes, alright,” Ben says. “And I won’t have to pay you, good. This is shaping up to be quite expensive. But worth it.”  
  
Yep, Louis thinks. Worth it.

*

Ben puts Louis in charge of organising everything, which is obviously ideal.  
  
“Why do you care so much about Ben’s birthday?” Harry asks after Louis talks to him, Ed, Niall and Jade about playing it.  
  
“I don’t,” Louis answers truthfully. “I think it’ll be fun for us to perform, though. Don’t you think?”  
  
“I suppose,” says Harry, and Louis can tell he’s distracted by his own nerves. That’s what Louis’s been counting on.

*

Louis goes through a few different ideas for when he should propose. He likes the idea of being at the top of the ferris wheel during the fireworks, but then he thinks that might feel a bit like he’s trapping Harry, which is odd, so. Eventually he figures out a plan, and times it so that Liam’s due to set off the fireworks across the lake right after Louis asks.  
  
It’s a lovely night. The weather is perfect, the sunset is beautiful, there are paper lanterns strung up everywhere glowing against the backdrop of the lake and the ferris wheel. Louis and Harry have been singing with their band, sometimes playing keys or guitar, and it’s been really fun. Louis even managed to invite their families, under the guise of it being their first real performance.  
  
There are a lot of people here, more than just the office. People have invited their friends and families, and there’s a real carnival vibe to it. The candy floss and snow cone machines add to that effect.  
  
The band take a break. Harry says he wants to get a drink and some candy floss, and have a chat with his mum.  
  
“Go on, love,” Louis says, fiddling needlessly with Ed’s guitar. “I’ll just finish with this and come find you.”  
  
“Okay,” Harry says happily, and off he goes.  
  
“Right,” says Ed, bringing Niall and Jade in closer to Louis. “How are we going? On schedule, yeah?”  
  
Louis nods. “The fireworks should be going off in ten minutes,” he says. “I’ll just text Liam to make sure everything’s alright – and I’ve told Gemma to bring Harry back here by five to.”  
  
Niall nods. “And you’re singing the first bit, then we’ll take over?”  
  
“Yeah,” says Louis. “Basically just sing the chorus until the fireworks happen. Or keep going during the fireworks, if you like. And hopefully he’ll have said yes and everything’ll be perfect.”  
  
“He’ll definitely say yes,” says Ed.  
  
“Jesus, Louis, it’s already perfect,” Jade says, sweeping her arms around. “ _I_ want to marry you.”  
  
“Me too,” says Niall.  
  
Louis laughs. “Alright guys, keep it together.”  
  
He checks the time – six minutes to go – and gets a text from Liam saying he’s on schedule. Louis takes a deep breath, quelling the faint butterflies in his tummy. It’s going to work out.  
  
Five minutes, and Louis sees Gemma leading Harry back towards the stage. Louis signals for Ed and Niall to start playing. Harry’s not paying them any attention, but he’s close enough to see and hear.  
  
“ _Ooh, you make me live_ ,” Louis sings. Harry’s head snaps up, and Louis continues singing, watching Harry’s eyes widen and thinking how perfectly _it’s you, you’re all I see_ fits this moment as he sings it.  
  
Harry comes closer, and he looks so surprised that they’re singing without him, so pleased that Louis is singing. Louis doesn’t think he’s figured it out yet, he probably thinks this is just a cute romantic gesture.  
  
“ _I’m happy at home_ ,” Louis sings. “ _You’re my best friend_.”  
  
He’s so fucking proud of himself for choosing this song. Not only is it the song Harry had dedicated to him so long ago, but it’s _them_. It fits them now more than ever. Louis _is_ so happy at home, and Harry _is_ his very best friend.  
  
As the song goes on, Louis hops down from the little makeshift stage and goes as far as the mic cord will let him. Harry closes the rest of the gap, a big smile on his face.  
  
This is it.  
  
“ _You’re the first one when things turn out bad_ ,” Louis sings directly to Harry. “ _You know I’ll never be lonely, you’re my only one_.” He drops to one knee and Harry gasps. “ _And I love the things, I really love the things that you do_.” He gently puts the mic down and pulls out the ring box as Niall and Ed take over singing.  
  
Even though he’s not sure Harry can hear him over the music, Louis says, “Will you marry me?”  
  
Harry nods wildly. It looks like he’s crying, and he reaches down and hauls Louis to his feet and hugs him tightly. Louis can hear him saying something, and then he gets it; Harry’s saying, “I love you I love you I love you.”  
  
The others are still playing; Ed and Niall are just singing the chorus over and over. Louis’s barely paying them any attention. He pulls back and kisses Harry, who’s definitely crying, and then the fireworks go off.  
  
Harry jumps a bit in his arms, breaking away for a second just to see the fireworks, smile at Louis and kiss him again. Louis shifts his hands to cover Harry's ears. And kissing Harry while fireworks go off, while their song is playing, when Harry’s just agreed to _marry_ him – it’s overwhelming. It’s everything. Louis almost wants to cry himself, especially when Harry takes a moment to put the ring on, smile dopily at it, and then kisses Louis again.  
  
Eventually the song peters out, and then there’s a loud burst of applause. Louis startles apart from Harry. The fireworks are still going on, but everyone is crowded around them and clapping.

“He said yes,” Louis says unnecessarily, feeling like his smile has taken over his face.  
  
Then they’re at the centre of a group hug, squashed by their mums and sisters. Louis keeps hold of Harry and is so happy, so so happy.  
  
The group hug breaks apart and everyone’s still yelling different things, congratulations and celebrations. Louis looks at Harry and sees him watching the fireworks and smiling.  
  
Once the fireworks are over and the group around Louis and Harry has thinned out a bit, a voice says, “Hey!” and Louis turns to see an angry Ben Winston.  
  
“Hey Ben,” Louis says cheerfully. “Happy birthday!”  
  
“Oh, remembered, did you?” Ben says. “What the fuck, Tomlinson? Why would you upstage me like that on my _birthday_?”  
  
“Oh, wow, I didn’t see it like that at all,” Louis says, which is a lie. He did. He just didn’t really care. “I’m sorry. It was just the perfect atmosphere. I couldn’t wait.”  
  
“What, and you just happened to have a ring?” Ben demands.  
  
“Yep,” says Louis. “Bought it a month after we started dating.” And that’s not a lie. He did. Once it sank in that this was really happening, he knew he’d propose before the end of the year.  
  
Harry visibly melts. “Lou, really?”  
  
“Yeah, baby,” Louis says. “Knew this was forever.”  
  
Harry looks like he’s trying not to cry again, and then he says, “I’m sorry Ben. Louis and I need to go. The rest of the party’s all yours.”  
  
“Ugh, fine,” Ben says. “Get your disgusting love out of my face.”  
  
Louis ignores him, instead letting Harry tug him down to the lake. And then Harry wraps himself around Louis.  
  
“I love you so much,” Harry says softly. “This was perfect, and you’re perfect. Best proposal ever.”  
  
“I thought you deserved one to remember,” Louis says.  
  
“I love you for that,” Harry says. “I’d’ve said yes anyway. But this was just – incredible, Lou. Really it was.”  
  
“I’m glad you liked it,” Louis says. “And I’m glad you said yes.”  
  
“Tell you what, I had a moment when you got down on one knee,” Harry says. “When I thought, if he’s fucking with me again, this will be the ultimate prank.”  
  
Louis laughs. “Oh God. No. I wouldn’t go that far.”  
  
“Not with me, anyway,” Harry says, smiling cheekily.  
  
“Not with you,” Louis agrees. He kisses Harry’s jaw. “God, I love you.”  
  
“I love you too,” Harry says. “Even if you’ve ruined one of my favourite songs. It’ll always make me cry now.”  
  
Louis laughs and snuggles closer, and they watch the waves on the lake ripple and the stars start to dot across the sky.

 

***

 

Louis and Harry are out shopping on a Saturday when it happens. They walk past a tattoo shop, and, well, neither of them are strangers to tattoos. Louis had expected this sooner or later.  
  
“I wonder if they take walk-ins,” Harry says.

“Well, only one way to find out,” says Louis.  
  
Harry looks at him with wide eyes. “D’you wanna get a tattoo with me, Lou?”  
  
Louis does. Louis really, really does. He even has a handful of ideas.  
  
So they go inside, and the girl at the front desk tells them that yes, they do take walk-ins, and someone will actually be able to talk to them in about twenty minutes.  
  
They sit down and spend that time going over ideas. Turns out Harry’s been searching couples tattoos as well, which absolutely does not surprise Louis, and he’s even got a folder of photos saved on his phone.  
  
They both like classic tattoos, as well as nautical tattoos. Louis suggests an anchor and a rope, Harry suggests an arrow and a heart, Louis suggests a ship and a compass, Harry suggests a dagger and a rose. Louis loves them all, wants to do them all. But.  
  
“Not sure if they’re a bit too ambitious for a walk-in,” Louis says.  
  
“Mm,” Harry agrees, still looking at his phone.  
  
“I had this other idea,” Louis says. Harry looks up. “What about lyrics? There’s a song you once sung for me that means a lot to me. I think it’s quite fitting.”  
  
And that’s why they leave the tattoo shop an hour later, _I don’t shine_  inked under the bandage on Harry’s wrist, _if you don’t shine_  under the bandage on Louis’s.

*

When they get home, and after some very enthusiastic sex – because Harry likes the pain of tattoos and Louis likes Harry’s reaction to the pain of tattoos – when they’re lying in bed, Louis feels invincible.  
  
It’s a feeling he’s had a lot recently. Ever since Harry came back from London, really. He feels like he can do anything, because he has the best boy in the world by his side.  
  
“Hey, sunflower,” Louis says, hoping Harry’s lucid enough to have this conversation.  
  
“Mm?” Harry asks, rolling a bit to look at Louis. He’s come down, he looks present. Good.  
  
“Do you think I could get into acting?” Louis bites his lip after he asks, feeling like he’s exposing himself. It’s something he hasn’t needed to feel with Harry in a long time.  
  
“I think you could do anything you wanted to,” Harry says. “And I’m not just saying that. But acting specifically, yeah, I think you’d be good at it. You have the temperament.”  
  
“Thanks,” Louis says sarcastically, then breathes. “I dunno. It’s something I’ve wanted to do forever, but I never thought I’d be good enough. And now I’m like, well, fuck it. I don’t need to make it – I can just give it a go. Trying it out is better than doing nothing.”  
  
“That’s exactly right,” Harry says. “That’s how I felt with art, that’s why I finally gave it a try. And I had nothing left to lose, but hey,” he adds jokingly.  
  
That’s the difference. “I think for me it’s more – I feel more secure now. I feel like – I have you. You love me. It makes everything so much less scarier. Like, so what if I’m rejected by strangers? You love me, and you’re worth so much more than them.”  
  
Harry laughs a bit. “If it helps to think of it that way,” he says. “But you should feel secure. You’re so talented, babe, at everything you do. Nothing should stop you.”  
  
Louis knows that Harry believes that. He’s just not sure if it’s true. But it doesn’t matter. Having Harry’s faith in him makes him want to try.  
  
“I think I want to audition for a play,” Louis says. “Any play. And maybe take some acting lessons.”  
  
Harry beams and hugs him tight. “I’m so fucking proud of you,” he says. “You’re amazing. No matter what, you’re amazing.”  
  
When he says it, Louis wants to believe it. He thinks that one day he might.

 

***

 

Harry’s sister Gemma has been sleeping on their couch for a couple of days. Harry doesn’t know how long she’ll be staying; he says he thinks it’ll be a week at most. Louis doesn’t mind, he likes Gemma. He actually hasn’t spent much time with her, because she lives in Sheffield, so this is a good opportunity to get to know her better.  
  
She’s fighting with her fiancé right now. They’ve been together for fifteen years, over half their lives, and the wedding’s in a few months. Louis doesn’t know the details of it, just that she needs space from him, so she’s taken a week off work and come over here.  
  
“She’s not talking to me about it,” Harry says at work. “I mean, I’m not going to say that she owes me the juicy details because she’s sleeping on our sofa, but… doesn’t she kind of owe me the juicy details because she’s sleeping on our sofa?”  
  
Louis tries not to laugh. He doesn’t succeed. “I love you,” he says, and Harry smiles. He instantly seems happier. “Maybe just give her some time. And space. I’m sure she’ll talk to you when she’s ready, I mean, she came to _you_. Who else would she talk to?”  
  
Harry frowns, looking thoughtful. “I mean… you?” he says. Louis makes a face, because what? “She could talk to you. You’re impartial, you don’t even know Michal. I grew up with him, so, maybe she thinks I’m too biased? I obviously want them to work out, he’s like a brother to me… Maybe she needs someone more removed from the whole thing.”  
  
“I don’t know,” Louis says. “I mean. I don’t even… weren’t you in her situation? With the having problems with a fiancé thing? Surely she’d rather talk to you.”  
  
Harry shrugs. “Yeah, maybe, but she hasn’t. I dunno, maybe just offer? If she doesn’t want to then she won’t.”  
  
Louis thinks about that. “Yeah, fair enough. Okay.”  
  
He turns to go to his desk, but Harry calls him back. “Oh, and Lou?” he says, smiling sweetly. “I love you too.”  
  
Louis laughs and kisses his cheek. “Alright, you menace.”

*

Louis picks up a few bottles of Gemma's favourite moscato on the way home from work. Harry had made plans with Ed, saying that he should maybe be out of the house, so Louis’s heading home from work alone for the first time since Harry came back from London. It feels weird.  
  
He comes home to find Gemma on the sofa watching an old episode of Friends, Merida curled up on her lap.  
  
Louis says hello, drops off the wine in the kitchen, and then goes to his room to change into joggers and a t-shirt. It’s so funny how taking off his office clothes instantly relaxes him. He goes back to the kitchen and picks up the wine, then sits it on the coffee table in front of Gemma.  
  
“I hope you’re in the mood to drink with me,” he says, and a slow smile spreads across her face.  
  
“Ooh, you got the good wine,” she says. “Where’s Harry?”  
  
“He had plans with Ed,” Louis says, hunting down wine glasses. “Couldn’t get out of it. So I thought you and me should have fun too.”  
  
Gemma grins as he pours her a glass. “I’m up for that,” she says, taking the glass. “Cheers.”

*

Two hours, two bottles of wine, and two pizzas later, Louis feels much closer to Gemma. She hasn’t talked about Michal yet, but it’s still really nice to be hanging out with her.  
  
Maybe Louis should be the one to bring it up.  
  
“You know, if you ever want to talk to me about Michal, you can,” he says, deciding to forgo subtlety altogether. “Like, if you don’t want to talk to Harry for whatever reason. We just want to be here for you, you know.”  
  
Gemma smiles at him. “Thanks,” she says.  
  
She doesn’t say anything for a while. Louis doesn’t want to rush her or stop her from talking, so he doesn’t either. He just sits and looks up at the sky. They’re sitting on the ground on the balcony, on cushions from the sofa. Louis thinks this balcony is the reason Harry didn’t mind sacrificing his flat. It’s a really good balcony.  
  
“Sometimes I just wonder why I’m doing it,” Gemma says eventually. “I feel like I fell into this relationship, like I never really thought about it. I mean, I’ve known him most of my life. Honestly, can you keep a secret?”  
  
Louis nods. He’s not sure if he can keep anything from Harry, really, but Gemma probably knows that.  
  
“We were supposed to get married ages ago,” Gemma says. “I just kept putting it off because Harry did. I didn’t want to get married when it looked like his fiancé was stringing him along.”  
  
Huh.  
  
“And then when you guys got together, he was so happy that I felt okay about finally going forward with the wedding,” she says. “It took actually planning it to realise it didn’t feel right. I don’t know. Maybe if we’d done it seven years ago, things’d be different.”  
  
“You’d only be twenty, though,” Louis says. “Does anyone know for sure what they want at twenty?”  
  
Mmm. Maybe they do. He was twenty when he met Harry, after all.  
  
“Well, that’s the thing, isn’t it,” Gemma says. “That’s when we got engaged. It definitely felt right then. I think. But now I’m just… I feel like I’m doing it because that’s what I’m expected to do. I feel like I’m with him out of obligation, sometimes.”  
  
“God,” Louis says. “I’m sorry.”  
  
“I feel awful, I just,” she sighs. “I don’t know, maybe it’s just cold feet.”  
  
“Can I tell you a story?” Louis asks. “Can I tell you what happened to me at twenty?”  
  
“Yeah,” Gemma says, sounding brighter. Okay, good. Louis doesn’t really have advice, but maybe this will help.  
  
“Well, that’s when I met Harry,” Louis says. “And I just remember… I liked him so much, instantly, but it wasn’t until we were proper friends that I was truly gone for him. I just remember he’d said something completely unremarkable, something about Glee, because we both watched it at the time, and I agreed with him, and I just remember thinking ‘yep, I love you’. I still remember what he was wearing.”  
  
“That’s cute,” Gemma says.  
  
“I just, was so sure I was meant to be with him,” Louis says. “And so much shit got in our way, but in the end, we got there. And, I don’t know, maybe you just feel differently because you haven’t gone through as many obstacles?”  
  
“Maybe if it’s harder, it strengthens it,” Gemma muses.  
  
“I mean, maybe,” Louis says. “Maybe not. I guess my point is that I knew at twenty, and I feel like I’m just even surer now, even more in love. So if you knew at twenty, maybe you do still know now. Like. He’s my favourite person in the entire world. I would die for him and I would live for him, I’d do anything for him and I don’t care how dramatic that sounds.”  
  
Gemma huffs a laugh.  
  
“I wake up happy every single day because I wake up next to him, and I go to work with him and spend half my time staring at him. Then I come home and spend my evenings with him, and honestly it kind of sucks if I don’t. Like. I’m having a good time with you, but I miss him like hell right now. And it’s only been like three hours since I saw him. I spend almost all of my time with him, and I still miss him when I’m not with him. I don’t know, it might sound scarily co-dependant, but I’m just. So fucking in love with him. He’s the brightest spot in my day, he lights up my fucking life, like – I literally feel like rooms are dull until he walks in them. And honestly I’d rather die than live without him.”  
  
He’s sort of lost his point, lost in how obsessed he is with Harry. Gemma’s just staring at him.  
  
“Um,” Louis says. “Maybe I should save the rest for my vows.”  
  
She barely cracks a smile, though he can see she tries to. “That’s lovely, though,” she says. “I’m really glad he has you. I know he feels the same.”  
  
Louis breathes. “Yeah,” he says. He feels like he hasn’t helped much at all.  
  
“So,” Gemma says, smiling weakly. “You used to watch Glee? Rachel and Finn or Quinn and Finn?”  
  
“Neither, God,” Louis says. “Kurt and Blaine, obviously.”  
  
“Oh, obviously,” Gemma says. “Other accepted answers: Quinn and Rachel, Brittany and Santana, or Quinn and Santana.”  
  
“You know, for a show supposedly all for the gays, that show was not gay enough,” Louis says.  
  
“Not at all,” Gemma agrees, and they move on to trashing Glee. Louis cracks open another bottle of wine.

*

Louis’s only just gone to bed when Harry gets home. He sits up, the room only spinning a bit, to watch Harry toe off his boots and get undressed. It’s definitely worth the spins to watch Harry’s pale skin and dark tattoos in the moonlight.  
  
“Hey, beautiful,” Louis says, his voice rough. Harry’s head shoots up. “How was your night?”  
  
“I thought you were asleep,” Harry says. “Was good, yeah. I missed you, though.”  
  
He takes off his underwear, because the door’s closed and “being in the same house as my sister didn’t stop me sleeping naked as a teenager, it’s sure as hell not going to stop me in my own flat”. Louis’s been wearing boxers the last few nights anyway. But now that Harry’s totally naked, he’s definitely not complaining.  
  
“Missed you too,” he says, lifting the covers and holding his arms out. Harry crawls into bed and right into Louis’s arms.  
  
Louis holds him tight, burying his face in the top of Harry’s head. His curls smell like sweat and smoke and faintly like his shampoo, and Louis just. God, he’s drunk, but he can feel tears prickling at his eyes. It’s been a full day since he cuddled his boy, okay, he _missed_ him.  
  
“How’d it go with Gemma?” Harry asks, moving into a better position. As soon as they’re face-to-face, lit up by the moonlight coming in through the open window, Harry runs a thumb under Louis’s eye. “Lou? Are you okay?”  
  
Louis breathes in. “Yeah,” he says. “I just missed you. I dunno. I’m drunk.”  
  
“Me too,” Harry says, smiling dopily like he does when he’s drunk. “And I missed you too. Ask Ed, you were all I talked about. He said I’m very bad company now that I’m shacked up.”  
  
“You’re the best company for me, s’all that matters,” Louis says, holding him tighter. He wants to squeeze Harry so tightly they become one person. Even then, he’s not sure that would be enough.  
  
Harry kisses him, too quickly, and says, “I love you.”  
  
“Love you too,” Louis says, looking at his mouth and wondering why they’re not kissing properly.  
  
“So, Gemma?” Harry asks again. Oh, right.  
  
“Um, I don’t know,” Louis says. “By the time we started talking about it we were pretty drunk, so I don’t know if I was any help.”  
  
“Oh well,” Harry sighs. “At least she knows she can come to you.”  
  
“Yeah,” Louis says. “She did seem willing to talk, to a point. I think she’s just figuring things out.”  
  
Harry nods. “Okay,” he says. “Thank you for trying.”  
  
“I think we had a good time, actually,” Louis says. “I really like her.”  
  
“Good, ‘m glad,” Harry says. He’s quiet for a minute, his eyes running over Louis’s face and then down Louis’s body. His hand trails from Louis’s back, over his collarbones and down his chest. “Are you gonna fuck me now?”  
  
Louis chokes on a laugh. “Harold!” he says. “Your sister is in the flat.”  
  
Harry pouts. “I’m not going without sex for a whole week just because of that,” he says. “And besides, she’s passed out cold. Didn’t wake up when I came in, and I made quite a lot of noise. Now’s the best time.”  
  
Louis can’t stop smiling. “C’mere.”

 

***

 

Drinking on a weeknight was such a bad idea. Louis didn’t even think he was that drunk, but the fluorescent lights in the office are giving him such a headache. Harry’s feeling marginally better, so he’s provided Louis with paracetamol and coffee, but Louis still feels like shit.  
  
“No more drinking on weeknights,” Louis says at lunch. “It’s my new rule. It’s not worth it.”  
  
“Okay,” Harry giggles. “I’ll remind you next time. I’m sure you’ll listen to me.”  
  
“I will,” Louis says. “It’s _my_ rule.”  
  
“‘Alrigh’, Curleh, I think I know wha’s best for meh,’” Harry says, in a poor Donny accent. “‘I am an adult, I can look afta’ meself.’”  
  
“That’s very rude,” Louis says, sniffing indignantly. “How dare you. The nerve. And while I’m _suffering_.”  
  
Harry giggles again. “I’m sorry,” he says, leaning over and kissing Louis’s cheek. Louis forgives him.  
  
Then Gemma calls Harry’s mobile. He stays in the breakroom while he talks to her, but Louis doesn’t want to eavesdrop, so he scrolls through Facebook on his own phone. He’s in the middle of reading an article his mum tagged him in when Harry makes a sad, broken noise. Louis looks up immediately. Harry looks distressed.  
  
He doesn’t say anything to tip Louis off for the rest of the conversation, just “yeah”s and “alright”s, but he looks so upset. Fuck, Gemma’s probably broken up with her fiancé then. Shit. Louis didn’t think she actually would.  
  
When Harry hangs up, and Louis asks what happened, he just stares at Louis for a minute without saying anything. It makes Louis anxious. Then he stands up and pulls Louis out into the back exit hallway. Louis's stomach is turning.  
  
Harry swallows thickly and says, “What did you say to her.”  
  
“What? What do you mean?” Louis asks, confused.  
  
“Gemma – she broke it off with Michal. And I don’t. I don’t _understand_ , because they’re perfect for each other. They’re soulmates, like my mum and Robin. But she said after talking to you last night, she realised why it didn’t feel right, and I just – I need to know why.”  
  
“I – I don’t know,” Louis says, confused and uncomfortable. He’s not sure if Harry’s actually angry with him, or if he’s just sad. “I definitely didn’t tell her to break up with him. We didn’t even really talk about him much, I told you, I got the impression she just needed to work it out.”  
  
“Well, whatever you said clearly helped her do that,” Harry says. Yeah, he’s definitely upset, and definitely a bit angry. “I’m just – I can’t help thinking that – what did you say to make her want to leave her fiancé?”  
  
“Harry, truly, I don’t know,” Louis says, getting upset himself now.  
  
“And at what point in our engagement, or our marriage, are you gonna feel that way about me?” Harry asks, but it’s like he’s talking to himself, and he looks so lost and devastated. Louis doesn’t know what to do.  
  
“ _Never_ ,” he says. “God, sweetheart, I swear, I don’t know what happened to make Gemma want to – but it won’t happen to us, it can’t, because I didn’t even say anything, I promise - ”  
  
Harry frowns. “I don’t see how that’s true when she’s just dumped the guy she’s been in love with her whole life because of something you said.”  
  
Louis is completely at a loss. “I didn’t mean to,” he says helplessly.  
  
“I’ve gotta go back to work,” Harry says, and he turns and leaves Louis in the hallway.  
  
Harry hasn’t been that cold with Louis in a really long time. Jesus. He wants to ring Gemma and find out what the fuck is going on, but he doesn’t want to make things worse.  
  
And his head still hurts. Fuck.

*

A few hours later, which are filled with tense silence and frosty looks, Harry leaves his desk and goes outside. Louis kind of wants to follow him, even if he’s sure it would just get him yelled at. He just wants to understand what’s going on. He doesn’t even know how to fix it, and he needs to fix it, because having Harry mad at him is the worst fucking feeling ever. Louis hasn’t concentrated on a single thing all afternoon.  
  
He must have been staring blankly at his computer screen for longer than he thought, because suddenly Harry is by his side.  
  
“Can I talk to you?” he asks, and he looks upset, but he’s not angry.  
  
Louis swallows and nods, following him out the front door and into the stairwell.  
  
“I just got Gemma to stop off here on her way back to Sheffield,” Harry says. “I needed to talk to her properly.”  
  
“Okay,” Louis says. “Did she explain…?”  
  
“Yeah,” Harry says. He swallows thickly. “She told me everything you said. How you’ve known we were meant to be since you were twenty and it’s only gotten stronger. How you wake up happy next to me, how you spend every day with me and it’s still not enough. She said you said you’d rather die than live without me.” There are tears in Harry’s eyes by the time he finishes, and it makes Louis want to cry himself.  
  
“Of course, baby,” Louis says. “I’m fucking obsessed with you.”  
  
Harry chuckles wetly. “Well, I guess Gemma never really felt that way about Michal. She said she thought she knew what love was, but that you changed her mind. You showed her that she was settling, and she wanted more than that.”  
  
“I’m sorry, Harry,” Louis says, still not really sure where he stands.  
  
“ _Don’t_ be,” Harry says fiercely. “Jesus, Lou.”  
  
And then he barrels forward into Louis’s arms. Harry holds on tight and Louis holds on even tighter, they’re squeezing each other way too hard but Louis doesn’t care. Everything’s right in the world when Harry’s in his arms.  
  
And then Harry sobs.  
  
Louis pulls back, just enough to see his tear-stained face. “Hey, sunflower. I’m sorry about Gemma and Michal.”  
  
“It’s not that,” Harry says. “I mean, yeah, I’m sad about it, but – I’m just overwhelmed. With how much I love you. God, Lou, you have to know – everything she said you said, I feel the exact same way.”  
  
“I know you do,” Louis says, kissing his head. “S’why we’re meant to be.”  
  
Harry sobs again, burying his face in Louis’s shoulder. “I love you,” he says, muffled into Louis’s shirt.  
  
“Love you too, baby,” Louis says, running his hands up and down Harry’s back. “I’m glad you’re not angry with me anymore.”  
  
“I’m sorry, Lou,” Harry says, looking at him again. “I was just scared. I thought they were soulmates, and – I get weird about soulmates. It scared me, thinking that you might not want to be with me at some point.”  
  
“Not gonna happen,” Louis says. “Not ever.”  
  
“I believe you,” Harry says. “And I get it now. God, what Gemma was saying – it’s the same way I felt with Xavier, like I was settling, like real love was out there. And it was. And I’m just, I’m happy she’s giving herself the opportunity to find it. Like I did.”  
  
Louis kisses him then, their ‘no real kisses in the office’ rule be damned. He kinda wants to give up work and spend the rest of the day kissing Harry in this stairwell.

*

It’s a bit weird to go home to an empty flat. Louis had almost gotten used to having Gemma around. They get changed and then Louis feeds Merida while Harry starts dinner, and Louis ends up watching Harry for a while. He feels even closer to Harry somehow; he’d felt so unsure earlier today, but now he feels unbreakable.  
  
After dinner, when they’re curled up on the sofa, Harry pauses Gogglebox and turns to Louis.  
  
“Can we talk about what happened today?” Harry asks.  
  
“We can talk about anything, always,” Louis says, and Harry smiles.  
  
“I just wanted to explain,” he says. “I just… I watched my parents fall apart. I watched my mum spend fifteen years in imperfect relationships. And I always told myself I wouldn’t be like my parents. I told myself I’d be like Gemma, she and Michal met when they were kids and got together as teenagers. He was her first love, and they seemed so perfect. It seemed like they got it right on the first go. That’s what I wanted, I didn’t want to meet my soulmate in my thirties. That’s one of the main reasons I stayed with Xavier for so long. Just this weird hang-up, I didn’t want to admit I was wasting my life with the wrong person.”  
  
Louis kisses the side of his head and waits for Harry to continue.  
  
“I think that’s why it was hard for me to see it happen to Gemma. And I think it goes back to my parents. I remember being seven when they separated, and I was just – devastated. Not because my family was splitting up, or at least, not only that. But because, up until then, I thought my parents were soulmates. It hurt to find out they weren’t. And then I transferred that onto Gemma and Michal, like, I needed an example of true love and I chose them.”  
  
“That makes sense,” Louis says, because it does. He gets it. He never really experienced it; having had his dad leave when he was a baby, he always knew his parents weren’t soulmates. But he had felt it a bit when his mum split up with Mark. “I had a bit of that with Mum and Mark. I suppose I thought they were soulmates too.”  
  
“It’s probably natural, for kids to think that,” Harry says, and then he pauses. He looks at Louis, his eyes shining. “Our kids are gonna be right.”  
  
Louis swallows down about fifty emotions. He kisses Harry, because if he doesn’t he might cry. He doesn’t know how he got so lucky.

 

*****


	5. Hearts Don't Break Around Here

**2024.**

_every night I’ll kiss you, you’ll say in my ear  
_ _‘oh we’re in love aren’t we?’  
_ _hands in your hair, fingers and thumbs baby  
_ _I feel safe when you’re holding me near, love the way that you conquer your fear  
_ _you know hearts don’t break around here_

**(seven years later)**

  
  
It’s very different to last time, which is probably why Harry’s having trouble wrapping his head around it. Logically he knew it could happen at any time, but last time it had been during the day. He thinks he’d subconsciously just been expecting the same.  
  
But it’s happening.  
  
Harry puts down his phone and shakes Louis awake. “Lou,” he says urgently. Louis stirs but clearly doesn’t want to wake up; which, it’s 3am. Harry doesn’t blame him.  
  
“Lou, c’mon,” he says. “The baby’s coming.”  
  
Louis wakes with a gasp, his eyes popping open. “Now? Right now? Are they here?” he looks around their dark bedroom wildly, and Harry laughs.  
  
“No, love, she’s only just gone into labour,” he says. “We’ve got to get Soph up and go to the hospital. And phone our mums.”  
  
Louis jumps out of bed and starts pulling on his clothes. “I didn’t expect it to be the middle of the night, somehow,” he says. “I know that’s stupid, but – ”  
  
Harry nods from across the bed, where he’s finding his own trousers. “But Soph was during the day, I know, me too,” he says.  
  
Louis finishes dressing a few minutes before Harry, so he’s in first to wake their daughter. Harry follows him and watches from the doorway. He’s struck suddenly by a wave of nostalgia; he can’t believe that only a few short years ago, they’d been doing this for the first time. They were so much more panicked then.  
  
Last time, they’d been as terrified as they were excited. This time, they’re only excited, and they have a beautiful little girl to share the whole thing with.  
  
About five years ago, Lou from work had started to miss being pregnant. Her daughter, Lux, was growing up, and Lou had gotten divorced. She had no real inclination to have another child, but she kept talking about how much she’d love to be pregnant again. She started looking into surrogacy right when Harry and Louis had started feeling like the one thing they were missing was a baby.  
  
Harry’s sister had kindly donated her eggs, and they used Louis’s sperm, and Lou was their surrogate. It was a pretty huge scandal in the office, even though surrogacy was not a new concept by any means. They got constant questions about how, wasn’t Louis basically just having a baby with his sister-in-law? Or, wasn’t Louis basically just having a baby with Lou? Harry didn’t see it that way at all. It was Louis and Harry having a baby together. It didn’t matter who was technically her mother, or who carried her to term. She’d have two dads, and that was it. They were her parents.  
  
Like. If Harry could get pregnant himself, he bloody well would. But for some reason, medical science still hasn't worked that one out, so this was their best option. Both he and Louis were happy with it.  
  
They ended up with the most precious child Harry’s ever known. Sophie Anne Tomlinson-Styles is an absolute treasure, and although he and Louis were happy before, everything was absolutely perfect once she arrived.  
  
After she turned three, however, Harry became very aware that his baby wasn’t an actual baby anymore. He spoke to Louis about it, who also missed having a baby in the house, so they approached Lou. This time Louis’s sister Lottie wanted to donate eggs, so they used Harry’s sperm, and here they are. Sophie’s now four years old and they’re about to take home a new baby.  
  
“Soph, babe, I need you to get up,” Louis’s saying gently.  
  
Sophie slowly blinks her eyes open and looks up at him in the dim light of her room. “Wha’srong, Daddy?” she asks. “S’early.”  
  
“I know, love, but we need to go to the hospital,” Louis says. “The baby’s on the way.”  
  
Sophie’s completely awake at that, and she throws her blankets off and sits up. “Well what are we waiting for!” she says. “Daddy! I need clothes!”  
  
Harry chuckles from the doorway and comes into her room, picking up her clothes from a chair as he goes. They’d started laying out an outfit before she went to bed each night, just in case this happened, and he’s very glad for that now.

*

“I can’t believe I’m gonna get a new brother today,” Sophie says, bouncing in her car seat.  
  
Louis’s driving, because Harry’s in about as much of a state as Sophie is, so he’d be useless. At least the upside of a 3am labour is that nobody’s on the roads.  
  
“You don’t know that, Soph,” Harry says. “You might be getting a sister. Wouldn’t that be just as nice?”  
  
“I’ll love her the same if it is a sister,” Sophie says sagely. “I just feel like it’s a brother.”  
  
Harry can’t help smiling at her, she’s too cute.  
  
Finding out the sex has never been important to Harry or Louis. They each had a list of names they liked for a boy or a girl, and that was the only thing they ever felt was affected by sex. They’d said the same thing last time, and once Sophie was born, they’d still ended up with a huge collection of pink and ruffles. Harry and Louis both ended up getting annoyed with it. Louis said that having five sisters taught him that girls come in all shapes and they aren’t all going to like pink. Harry had read about a study that said children below the age of two years don’t give a damn about favourite colours. He was loathe to force unnecessary gender roles on his baby, and Louis agreed. So Harry bought her anything he thought was cute, whether it was “for girls” or not, and Louis decked her out in Adidas gear whenever he could get away with it. Sometimes people were confused or thought she was a boy, but that was their problem, not Harry’s or Louis’s.  
  
This time around, they were even surer they didn’t want to know. Lou hadn’t found out either time either, so she couldn’t be tempted to spill. Harry and Louis told everyone that if they wanted to buy the baby things, they could buy whatever they wanted. They promised to put the baby in anything at least once, that they didn’t care and the baby wouldn’t either.  
  
They’d only received a few dresses, a few things with pink and ruffles, all from Lottie, Daisy, and Phoebe, who couldn’t help themselves. Sophie had thought all the baby clothes were cute, but she particularly loved one of the dresses, and since she was sure the baby was a boy, she’d asked if he would still wear it. Harry had said yes, mostly because he didn’t want to disappoint her, and she’d been so happy.  
  
“He’s going to be so pretty, isn’t he, Pa?” she’d asked, and Harry’d had to agree.

*

“How about Jacob?” Louis asks.  
  
“Jacob Jay? I don’t think so,” Harry says.  
  
They’re in the waiting room outside the maternity ward. Both Harry and Louis had gone in quickly to check on Lou, but she was far from ready and she had her sister there to support her, so they’d both come out to wait with Sophie until Harry’s mum arrived.  
  
They’d decided to pass the time by whittling down their baby name list. At least they know the middle name will be Jay for a boy, and Johannah for a girl, both after Louis’s mother. That helps.  
  
“I like Sven,” Sophie says.  
  
“That’s nice, Soph, but it’s not on the list, remember?” Harry says.  
  
“Oh, right,” she frowns. Harry’s so glad that they’d gotten her to believe that names couldn’t be added to the list he and Louis had come up with.  
  
“How about, we come up with a name each, and then let Sophie choose between them?” Louis suggests.  
  
“Yes!” Sophie squeals, and Harry agrees. He studies the list again.  
  
He’s truly torn between Olivia, Madison, and Abigail for girls names. They’re all so cute. Finally he settles on Olivia, which he thinks has always been his favourite.  
  
“I like Olivia,” Harry says.  
  
Louis smiles. “Thought you might,” he says. “Well, I like Maddie best, and I think Madison Johannah sounds good.”  
  
“So those are your choices, Soph,” Harry says. “What do you think? Maddie or Olivia?”  
  
“I’m sorry but you’re wrong,” Sophie says primly. Harry swallows a surprised laugh, the way he always does when she uses that tone. “The only choice for a girl is Ariel.”  
  
Harry’s really struggling not to laugh. “But that’s not on the list, honey.”  
  
“I don’t care,” Sophie pouts. So much for convincing her that the list matters. “It’s the very best girl name ever. Asides Sophie.”  
  
“She has a point,” Louis says, clearly trying not to laugh as well.  
  
“Really?” Harry says, making a face. “Ariel Johannah Tomlinson-Styles?”  
  
And, well, now that he’s said it out loud, he doesn’t actually hate it. He makes another face at Louis, as if to say _maybe_ , and Louis makes one back saying he agrees.  
  
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Sophie says, crossing her arms. “’Cause it’s gonna be a brother. What are the brother names?”  
  
Harry chuckles softly, unable to hold it in anymore, and looks back at the list. He likes Evan, Asher, and Noah. He runs them through his head with the middle name and last name, but he can’t get past Noah.  
  
“Noah’s my pick,” he says.  
  
Louis smiles. “I like that too,” he says. “But I’m going with Asher.”  
  
“And I like that too,” Harry says, smiling back at Louis. In that moment he knows that they’ll both be happy with either name.  
  
“So, what’ll it be Soph? Noah or Asher?” Louis asks.  
  
“Hmmm,” Sophie says. Apparently she doesn’t have a strong opinion on the best boy name ever. “This is my brother Asher,” she says softly, and Harry’s heart swells. “This is my brother Noah. Hmmmm. Asher and Sophie. Sophie and Noah. Hmmmm.”  
  
Harry exchanges a glance with Louis, knowing their fond expressions are identical. God, Harry loves their daughter _so much_.  
  
Sophie looks up at them with big, serious eyes. “I’m sorry, Daddy, but I choose Noah,” she says solemnly.  
  
Louis scoops her up and kisses her head. “That’s okay, baby, I love that name, too,” he says. “You did very well.”  
  
Harry wraps his arms around both of them and buries his face between Sophie’s shoulder blades. “I’m very proud of you, pumpkin,” he says.  
  
“Thank you, Pa,” Sophie says, her little voice muffled in Louis’s neck.  
  
“So,” Louis says. “Ariel or Noah.”  
  
“Ariel or Noah,” Harry agrees, looking up into Louis’s happy, watery eyes. God, this is already the best day and they haven’t even met their little angel yet. Harry loves his little family so much.  
  
“Did I really pick the name?” Sophie asks, as if in disbelief that they’re actually going to go through with it.  
  
“Of course, pumpkin,” Harry says, kissing her cheek. “We wouldn’t trust anybody else. You’re the best name-picker there is.”  
  
Sophie beams. “This is the best day,” she says. Harry tries not to laugh at her echoing his thoughts.

*

And there he is. At seven twenty-two AM on the twenty-fifth of July, 2024, Noah Jay Tomlinson-Styles is born.  
  
“Our little Leo,” says Harry, running a finger along the side of his sweet face. He knows that apparently a lot of newborns look a bit weird, but personally he’s positive that both of his babies were the cutest newborns ever.  
  
“His name is Noah,” says Sophie primly. “Not Leo.”  
  
“No, sweetheart, that’s his starsign,” says Louis. “You know, like how you’re a Pisces?”  
  
“Oh,” Sophie says, frowning. “Right.”  
  
“Although I do like the name Leo,” Louis says, pretending to look thoughtful. “Maybe we should go with that name instead, what do you think?”  
  
“No!” Sophie whisper-cries. She looks outraged, but she’s clearly still trying to keep quiet because the baby’s sleeping. Harry is absurdly proud of her. “His name’s Noah! You said I could pick!”  
  
“Did we say that?” Louis teases.  
  
“Yes,” Sophie says adamantly. “And ‘sides, you can’t call him after his starsign. My name’s not Pie-says, that would be ridiculous.” She always says ridiculous like ‘redic-alus’, Harry always finds it adorable.  
  
“Pisces,” Louis corrects gently. “I suppose you have a point.”  
  
“I do,” says Sophie, still pouting. “His name’s Noah.”  
  
“Yes it is,” says Louis. He scoops her up into his arms and leans her closer to Harry and Noah. An awed expression immediately takes over Sophie’s face.  
  
“He’s boo-tiful,” she says softly.  
  
“He is,” Harry agrees. “Just like you.”

 

***

 

Harry takes paternity leave by himself this time. Last time, he and Louis switched off – Harry would spend a week at home while Louis worked, then Harry would go to work and Louis would stay home. Ben was totally fine with that, probably because he considered himself something of a grandfather figure. Which would creep Harry out, but it allowed them to do whatever they wanted with paternity leave, so.  
  
This time, though, Ben isn’t even with the company anymore. Nick and Louis are co-managers, and with the new CEO cracking down on them from head office, either one of them is one wrong move away from being demoted. And with two babies now, they really need Louis’s salary increase. So Louis is staying at work, unhappily so, and Harry’s taking four months off.  
  
Both of their mums moved to Manchester back when Sophie was born, even though Harry and Louis said it was unnecessary. But Sophie was the first grandchild across both their families, and neither of their mums wanted to be further than ten minutes away. And Harry’s glad for it; they were, and are, loads of help, and he loves being surrounded by his family. And now, with him going back to work after only four months – they got six months with Sophie – he’s glad he’ll be able to leave Noah with his mum and Louis’s instead of daycare.  
  
They’ve pulled Sophie out of full-time preschool, too. If Harry’s going to be at home, he sees no reason not to have her with him. She’ll go in on afternoons three times a week, but that’s it, which is a drastic cut. Harry's a tiny bit worried about how this will affect her socialisation, but she seems ecstatic to stay at home with him and Noah.  
  
“I get to spend whole days with you Papa?” she’d asked when they told her, wide-eyed. “I never get to spend days with you.”  
  
Harry’s heart had cracked and he’d pulled her into a big hug. “You’ll spend so many days with me, you’ll get sick of me,” he promised.  
  
“Never,” she promised right back.  
  
So now Harry’s at home with both of his babies. Noah’s a quiet newborn, which has Harry thanking his blessings every day. Having a newborn in the house is just giving him constant flashbacks to when Sophie was born, and she was a screamer. While Noah’s calm, quiet behaviour is a bit unnerving, Harry’s definitely thankful for it.  
  
Having Sophie around is actually more of a help than a hindrance, as well. Last time, when it was Harry’s turn to stay home from work, all he had was himself and a baby – and occasionally his mum or another family member. But now he has Sophie at all hours of the day, and she’s always ready to help him. She’s happy to fetch him whatever he needs at any given moment, which actually reduces some of Harry’s stress. Who’d have ever thought a four year old could be so helpful.

 

***

 

A lot has changed at Syco Software over the last seven years.  
  
Ben left, a while back. He and Meredith got back together and Ben decided to move to Sheffield to be with her. So Nick and Louis are the co-managers at the moment, and Rob Stringer is unimpressed with this set-up.  
  
Rob Stringer is the new CEO. He bought out the company a few months ago and merged it with SONY, his computer company, which means Corporate are operating out of London now. Essentially SONY sells computers, so now Syco sell computers. It’s complicated, but there are no caps on commission anymore, so that’s exciting. There’s literally no limit to how much money a salesman can make.  
  
Not that it matters to Harry, because he’s no longer a salesman. He’d sucked at it for far too long, to Louis’s complete bafflement. He said that since everyone who ever met Harry was charmed by him, selling should’ve been a piece of cake. And it was, when Harry could shut his brain off. But he hated feeling like he was exploiting people, so he was always completely honest with potential clients. Also, he was terrible at over the phone sales. He talks so slowly and so ‘morbidly’ (thanks Louis) that most people would hang up on him. He’s not an idiot, he knows his looks and his body language are what charms most people, so to meet his sales quotas each month he’d end up spending a few days driving around and visiting businesses. He thinks if they had a storefront, he might be decent at sales, but as it is? No.  
  
So when the takeover happened, Harry created a new position for himself. He said he’d been made office administrator beforehand and the paperwork must have gotten lost in the shuffle. He can’t believe he’s gotten away with it, but he’s a damn good office admin, so he thinks it evens out. And he doesn’t feel like he’s exploiting the company – Rob Stringer is a fucking millionaire. He doesn’t feel bad about a little lie when he’s a better asset to the office now than ever before.  
  
Zayn’s back. As a temp. He crashed and burned at Corporate after about a year; apparently his website wasn’t completely legit. Harry’s not surprised – something about it had seemed fishy, with the way it targeted people and how it made sales at a continuous pace. It’s just ironic that the website was close to being malware, considering what they sell. Anyway, then Zayn disappeared for another year, and then Ben rehired him. Harry’s still not completely sure why.  
  
And now he’s still more or less a temp. He had some run-ins with Louis, back when Louis was made co-manager, and Louis turned a utility cupboard into a small, damp, bleach-soaked office. So now Zayn’s stuck in there, which is also the one place in the office with a bad wifi signal, and Harry’s pretty sure he spends most of his time starting new business ventures.  
  
Steve left, a few years ago. He moved back to America with his wife. Caroline left too. They’ve been replaced by two young women named Maren and Bebe, and they’re lovely – Harry and Louis both really like them.  
  
Niall, Ed, and Jade are still here, and they still have a little band with Harry and Louis. They even have a name now: The Sweet Creatures. It’s a great stress relief, Harry’s found, and they’re actually quite good, he thinks. He’s started a Youtube channel and occasionally he uploads videos of their various covers and originals. They’ve got a hundred thousand subscribers; Harry can't believe it every time he thinks of it.  
  
One of the biggest changes over the years is how much Liam’s mellowed out. Harry would even go so far as to consider him a friend, now. He still has his moments, but they’re few and far between. Back when Ben left, Liam expected to be made manager, and he wasn’t even seriously considered. They went through a string of unfit outside hires, instead, and then Louis pitched the idea of co-managers, and he and Nick were promoted.  
  
And Liam gave up. He did the bare minimum – Jesy was the top salesman for two months. And then Rob Stringer stepped in, and now, without the caps on commission, Liam is thriving. It’s like he feels he’s finally being fairly compensated for all the extra, unnecessary work he puts in – for as long as Harry’s been here, Liam would meet his commission cap and keep making sales because he felt that he should be working as hard as possible regardless of whether he was getting commission. He used to say commission was a bonus. Now, though, he’s being compensated accordingly, and it’s like he finally feels valued.  
  
The last big change is that Louis and Nick are friends again. There was a lot of hostility between them for the longest time, and Harry’s pretty sure he was the cause of it. And then, sometime around when Sophie was born, Nick seemed to realise Louis was in it for the long haul with Harry, and that was it. It was like a switch flipped, and they were friends again. It’s nice, it’s really good.  
  
Harry honestly feels quite close to most people at work, to the point where he actually kind of misses being there. And then he spends an hour holding Noah and watching him sleep, while Sophie’s curled up next to him watching Big Hero 6, and he just wants to stay home forever.

 

***

 

Harry’s Instagram is probably his most successful professional achievement. He’s racked up followers over the years, even as his theme changed – from artsy aesthetic photos to essentially a family photo album. He’s also no longer working for the Azoffs; instead, he spends his Saturdays doing photoshoots for other families. It’s not exactly where he saw his life going, but he really enjoys it. Photography and kids are two of his greatest passions after all.  
  
Sophie is something of an Instagram celebrity. Harry’s not going to pretend that she’s not the reason he has most of his followers. She’s a delight, and she loves acting; it’s funny how she’s such a quiet kid, but put a camera on her and she turns into a superstar. So Harry occasionally makes short videos starring her and sometimes Louis. He’s thinking about putting them on his Youtube channel, branching out from just band videos.  
  
Louis has also really pursued acting. He’s involved in at least one major production per year. Sometimes Harry thinks maybe they should move to London after all, but for Louis, now. He could be on the West End if he had the chance, Harry’s sure.  
  
As comfortable as they’ve become with their work family, Harry knows the one thing that doesn’t fit into their perfect lives is Syco Software. They’ve both been working there for so long, over a dozen years, but they’re both after so much more. Harry thinks that neither of them are ready for an abrupt change, and maybe they’re a bit scared, too. But it’ll happen. It has to.

 

***

 

Harry loves Noah with his entire heart. He loves his dark hair that Louis’s convinced will curl, loves his deep blue eyes, loves his button nose, loves his soft skin. He’s absolutely perfect, and Harry could honestly sit and watch him for hours.  
  
But he also loves when Noah’s asleep and Harry gets to spend time with Sophie.  
  
He and Sophie don’t get enough alone time, in Harry’s opinion. Part of Harry really wishes he was a stay at home dad, honestly – his greatest ambition right now is to work at home so he can spend as much time as possible with his kids. Maybe when he’s Instagram/Youtube famous, he thinks sarcastically.  
  
Aside from being Harry’s favourite girl in the world, Sophie is just so smart and fun to be around. Harry can have actual conversations with her now, and he finds her view of the world so enjoyable. She also loves art as much as Harry does, so they spend hours painting and drawing together, and when Noah’s awake, they’ll go out into the garden or down to the park. Sophie loves nature and being in the sunshine, and she loves animals.  
  
She’s obsessed with their cats. They still have Merida, who’s thirteen now, so she’s getting on. When Sophie was two, Harry and Louis decided to get a kitten, so that Sophie would have someone more energetic to play with, and so that when Merida eventually passed – knock on wood – Sophie wouldn’t be as upset.  
  
Like. Obviously she will be upset, though. Harry dreads that day, even though he’s sure Merida’s still got a good few years left in her. But Sophie adores Merida – she’s so calm and placid, and loves cuddles so much. Bubbles, their other cat – named so because Sophie kept calling her ‘Bub’ – she’s the energetic one that Sophie actually plays with, whereas Merida is mostly good for a cuddle. Harry will often find Sophie watching TV with Merida content on her lap. It’s good, having two cats who are so different. Sophie’s utterly in love with them.  
  
Just as he’s thinking that, Merida gets up from where she’s lounging in the sun streaming through the window, and saunters over and plops herself down in Sophie’s lap. Harry and Sophie are watching Zootopia – they’ve been working their way through all the Disney films from start to finish – and she absently reaches down to stroke her fingers through Merida’s curly fur.  
  
“Papa, can we watch Brave again after this?” Sophie asks. “I know it’s not in order.”  
  
Harry chuckles. “We can watch whatever you want,” he says. “But not right after this. Noah should be awake soon, and we can go outside for a bit. Then have some lunch.”  
  
“And then we can watch Brave?”  
  
“Yes,” says Harry, smiling fondly at her.  
  
“Hear that?” Sophie says to Merida. “We’re gonna watch your movie.”  
  
Harry can’t stop smiling. He leans down and presses a kiss to her hair.

*

It feels a bit weird that Sophie’s not starting school next month; a few of her preschool friends are, and she’s certainly smart enough, the preschool said so. But she’s only four, she won’t be five until March, and Harry and Louis really don’t like the idea of her being four for most of kindergarten. Although she’s incredibly bright for her age, she’s probably not ready socially; she still gets shy and anxious about preschool. Jay’s warned them that starting kids in school too early, even if they seem smart enough, can lead to social anxiety issues, and Jay would know. Harry and Louis both think Sophie’s much better off waiting another year to start school.  
  
Harry’s glad for it, if he’s honest. She’s his baby, and he’s not quite ready for her to go to big school either.

 

***

 

“I think I want to step down as manager,” Louis says one night.  
  
Harry’s surprised. “Really?” he asks. “Did you have a tough day today, or…”  
  
“No, I’ve just been thinking about it,” says Louis. “I figured it out, I'd actually make a lot more on commission in sales. Like, loads more than my salary now. And, I don’t know – I don’t know why I thought I wanted this responsibility. I’m not enjoying it.”  
  
Harry shrugs. “Well, it’s up to you, babe,” he says. “I’m happy no matter what. All I can say is – do what will make you happy. And more money sounds good.” He smiles cheekily, and Louis flicks him.  
  
“That’s what I thought you’d say,” he says with a laugh.  
  
When Louis comes home the next day, he says he’d talked to Rob Stringer and to Nick, and he’s officially a salesman again. Nick is the only manager.

 

***

 

It’s September, and that means one thing: Take Your Children To Work Day. It’s something that fell by the wayside for a few years after Simon Cowell was fired, but came back with a vengeance around five years ago for some reason. And when SONY took over, Rob Stringer – having worked in America for the past few decades – loved the idea, so it's still happening, which is good. Harry and Louis have been bringing Sophie into the office every September since she was born. She loves it, and Harry’s excited to be bringing Noah this time. Only a handful of people have even met him.  
  
“I’m not sure this is the best idea,” Louis says the night before.  
  
“What?” Harry says. Louis loves Take Your Children To Work Day. “Why not?”  
  
“Well, Noah’s only six weeks old,” Louis says.  
  
“He’ll be okay, Lou,” Harry says. “I’m not even working at the moment, technically. I’ll be with him the whole time.”  
  
“Right,” Louis says. “Well… I also… I may have gone too far with Liam.”  
  
“What?” Harry frowns. “You pranked Liam? I thought you weren’t doing that anymore?”  
  
Once Louis was promoted to co-manager, he’d stopped pranking Liam altogether. He thought it would be an abuse of power. It’s really helped their relationship. Sometimes, if Liam’s getting hard to deal with, Harry might do something small, like the old favourite of putting his things in jelly. It's a classic for a reason, and Harry suspects Liam finds it funny now. But overall, Liam’s not hard to work with anymore. He and Louis are almost friends.  
  
“I _know_ ,” Louis moans. “I couldn’t help it, and I'm not manager anymore, so technically - and with you not being there – you don’t understand how boring the office is without you. All my brain does is come up with pranks, and this one was too good to resist.”  
  
“Okay,” Harry says slowly. “What does that have to do with the kids?”  
  
“I went too far!” Louis wails. “And I’m pretty sure he’s going to get revenge.”  
  
“Lou, he’s not going to do anything to our children just to pay you back for a silly prank,” Harry says. “It’s _Liam_.”  
  
“H, I trapped him in the lift with Zayn,” Louis says morosely.  
  
Harry blinks. “You what?”  
  
Louis sighs. “There was this company-wide sales competition,” he says. “And obviously Liam was going to win. But he got all weird and competitive, and he kept talking about our kids, about how much I was missing at home. He played Cats In The Cradle, Harry, for God’s sake!”  
  
“Oh, is that why you sounded emotional when you rang me during lunch?”  
  
“Yes,” Louis says, all defensive. “So I talked to Jimmy, you know, the maintenance guy, and I paid him to fix the buttons in the lift so that it’d shut down when any button was pressed. Then I got Jade to pretend she saw someone breaking into Liam’s car.”  
  
“And he raced to the lift,” Harry guesses.  
  
“How was I supposed to know Zayn was going for his smoke break right at the same time?” Louis wails.  
  
“Oh no,” Harry says. Poor Liam. He and Zayn never really made up, as far as Harry knows – unless they’re keeping it a secret again, which could very well be a possibility. But Harry’s pretty sure that they couldn’t fake how awkward and weird they are around each other. Harry feels like they’ve been dancing around it for years, that both of them want to get back together but neither of them want to be the first to act.  
  
But he could be wrong. He’s always had a tough time reading Zayn.  
  
“They were stuck in there for _two hours_ ,” Louis says. “The lift was fucked. So Liam lost the competition _and_ he was trapped with Zayn. I left while they were getting them out, honestly, I thought he might hit me.”  
  
“I wouldn’t blame him if he did,” Harry jokes.  
  
“Hey!” says Louis.  
  
Harry laughs. “Look, yeah, he’ll probably retaliate. But I don’t think he’ll use our kids, come on, Lou.”  
  
“He knows they’re the easiest way to get to me,” Louis says. “They’re my biggest weakness, them and you.”  
  
Harry smiles at that. It’s been seven years, and he still loves that their family is Louis’s whole world.  
  
“He’s going to kidnap Sophie and trap her in the lifts,” Louis moans.  
  
Harry laughs again. “No he won’t, babe,” Harry says. “You’re being paranoid. They’ll be with me the whole time, it’ll be _fine_.”  
  
Louis argues some more, and eventually Harry tells him if he’s so against it, he can be the one to tell Sophie she won’t be able to go to work. She’ll be devastated. That shuts him up.

*

Sophie is beside herself the next morning. She hasn’t been this excited since the day Noah was born. She’s bouncing all over the place, trying to be helpful and mostly making a mess.  
  
“C’mon, Soph, let Papa get Noah in his carseat,” Louis says, stopping her from trying to strap Noah in herself. “How about you look through your bag again, make sure you’ve got everything?”  
  
She does, and Harry gets Noah strapped in and is about to get in the car himself, when Sophie shrieks.  
  
“Daddy! I forgot Cap’n ‘Merica!”  
  
She sounds scandalised, which doesn’t surprise Harry. She’s been obsessed with Captain America lately, and she’s been dragging around this eighteen inch action figure for the last two weeks. Louis has been such a bad influence on her.  
  
Harry sighs. “I’ll get it,” he says. “Stay in the car.”  
  
He’s pretty sure he knows where it is, and yep – he’s sitting on the kitchen table, next to an empty bowl. Sophie always sets a bowl or plate out for him while she’s eating. It’s cute, and she usually manages to put it away afterward. She was way too excited this morning.  
  
Harry checks that the bowl’s clean, puts it in the cupboard, then picks up Captain America and heads back out to the car. He gives the doll to Sophie and she shrieks again, happily this time, hugging it to her.  
  
“Soph, you need to try to calm down before we get to work,” Louis says as Harry gets in the car. “Remember how quiet the office is? No screaming, please.”  
  
“Sorry, Daddy,” says Sophie, sounding very remorseful. “Cap’n ‘Merica just makes me emotional.”  
  
Harry exchanges a look with Louis and they both try not to laugh. God, Harry loves her.

*

Sophie’s totally quiet once they get into the office. Noah’s asleep, so he’s no trouble, and Sophie’s subdued, looking around wide-eyed. She only comes here once a year, really, and a year is a much longer timeframe for her than it is for Harry. He always forgets that.  
  
She’s holding onto Louis’s leg with one hand and her Captain America doll with the other. She looks almost lost. Harry crouches down to her level.  
  
“Are you okay, poppet?” he asks. “You’ve been here before, remember?”  
  
“Is this really where you and Daddy work?” she asks, her voice a whisper.  
  
“Yes,” Harry says. “See, look, that’s my desk just there. And that’s Daddy’s desk. Do you want to see?”  
  
“Yes,” Sophie whispers, nodding.  
  
She keeps a hold of Louis’s leg as they walk over to the desks. Harry stops the pram, Noah still asleep, and then he and Louis point out the different photos of their family all over Louis’s desk. Harry’s desk is being used by his replacement, so his photos have been put away for the time being.  
  
Sophie warms up just a little bit, smiling at the photos.  
  
“That’s me,” she says proudly, pointing to her baby picture on Louis’s desk. Harry’s pretty sure she only recognises it as herself because they have a similar photo framed at home.  
  
“It’s you,” Louis says with a smile. “We look at your faces all day because we miss you so much when you’re not here.”  
  
Sophie smiles. “I miss you too,” she says.  
  
Then Niall comes in from the kitchen and Sophie’s mouth drops open. She finally lets go of Louis’s leg, barrelling towards him. “Uncle Niall!”  
  
“Soapy!” Niall yells back, picking her up when she runs at him and twirling her around. “How’s my favourite bubble princess?”  
  
Harry smiles. ‘Soapy’ is what Soph used to called herself before she could say her name properly. Niall’s the only one who still calls her that.  
  
Sophie giggles. “’M good,” she says. “I have a brother, have you seen him?”  
  
Niall nods. “I came and visited a little while ago, remember?”  
  
“Oh,” Sophie says. “Well, he can smile now! He’s growing up, Uncle Niall.”  
  
“Not as fast as you are,” Niall says, pretending to buckle under her weight. “I won’t be able to carry you for much longer.”  
  
Sophie’s mouth drops open in shock. “No!” she says. “You’ll carry me always.”  
  
Niall laughs. “Oh, of course I will,” he says, and then he grins at Harry over her head. Harry laughs at the mental image.

*

Take Your Children To Work Day is both easier and harder than it’s ever been. Easier because Harry’s not working, so his whole focus is on his kids, and harder because he has two kids to keep track of. Although even that is fine; he’s more than used to having both of them now, and Sophie’s quite well-behaved, especially when she’s out in public. There are also so many people here wanting to spend time with her.  
  
Especially Lux. She’s almost thirteen, so she’s not exactly a child anymore, but she loves coming into the office and she especially loves Sophie. Lux treats Sophie like a surrogate little sister, which she almost kind of is. Harry loves it – he loves how many women Sophie has in her life, actually, with her myriad of aunties, but she has such a special relationship with Lux. Sophie adores her.  
  
James has brought in Carey, who’s nine now – Max is thirteen and over it, apparently. Julian has a six year old named Adam with his wife, Ed has a three year old named Scarlett with his girlfriend, and Leigh Anne has an eleven month old named Alfie with her boyfriend, and they’ve all brought them along.  
  
Sophie loves Scarlett. They see each other quite often, being that Ed is still one of Harry’s very best friends, and they go to the same daycare. They were only seeing each other once or twice a week back when Sophie was in full-time daycare, so reducing that to seeing each other a few times a month shouldn’t make much difference, Harry thinks, but when Scarlett walked through the door, Sophie acted like it’d been several years.  
  
So they’ve been attached at the hip all day, and they shadow Lux like they’re baby ducklings and she’s their mum. It’s adorable, and Harry trusts Lux, so he’s happy to let Sophie follow her while he’s busy with Noah.  
  
Now that Noah’s awake, Harry’s been sitting with Leigh and Alfie, trying to get them to socialise. But there’s a pretty big difference between an eleven month old and a two month old, so Noah’s basically just sitting in Harry’s lap while Alfie presses open mouth kisses to his face. It’s cute, though, Leigh’s taking tons of photos.  
  
Harry tries to get Louis’s attention to show him, but Louis barely smiles. He’s still on edge, has been all day, which is ridiculous. Liam doesn’t seem like he’s plotting anything. In fact, he seems wildly, unusually happy. Granted, Harry hasn’t been at work in ages, but he can’t remember the last time Liam had seemed this happy.  
  
At one point, Harry looks up and Louis’s gone, and Liam is too. Harry frowns. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe Liam’s actually murdered Louis.  
  
He looks around and sees Sophie in Nick’s office with Scarlett, so she’s fine. There’s nothing Harry can really do but wait for Louis to come back.  
  
Well, he could hunt him down, but that’s too much effort when he’s got Noah. He fishes out his phone instead and texts Louis, _hope you’re alive xxx  
  
_ A few minutes later Louis appears, coming back in through the front door with Liam behind him. He looks thrilled, not murdered, and he comes straight over to Harry.  
  
“I need to talk to you,” Louis says, helping Harry get to his feet, because he’s holding Noah. “Stairwell, c’mon.”  
  
They go out the emergency exit beside Leigh Anne’s desk clump, because it’s the closest place they can get some privacy.  
  
“Liam and Zayn are together,” Louis announces happily. “He said it’s because of me, he _thanked_ me!”  
  
Harry feels a huge grin take over his face as happiness bubbles in his chest. “That’s so fantastic,” he says. “Oh my God! Finally, wow. I’m so happy for them.”  
  
“Me too,” says Louis, clearly giddy. “He said they’re not even going to keep it a secret – they’ll go public soon. Harry!” Louis bounces on his toes, unable to contain his happiness.  
  
“Who knew we just had to trap them together in a small space for a couple hours?” Harry says. “We should’ve done this five years ago.”  
  
“Ugh, I know,” Louis says, but he’s smiling.  
  
When they go back out, it’s obvious. Harry wonders how he didn’t see it before. Liam can’t wipe the smile off his face, and Zayn – Zayn’s been out of his nook all day, hanging out with the kids, especially Julian’s son Adam. Harry had just thought Zayn liked the kids, but now he thinks it’s more than that, it’s Zayn finding an excuse to be around Liam. He keeps shooting Liam these small little smiles, and Liam’s watching Zayn with the kids pretty blatantly. God! They’re so cute, Harry’s so happy for them. It’s about bloody time.  
  
They end the day with a musical hour, as is tradition; everyone who can play an instrument does, and everyone else either plays percussion or sings along. Harry can’t help remembering the first Take Your Children To Work Day, and how half of the office had been indifferent. Now, everyone’s involved, and it really feels like they’re a little family.

 

***

 

Being back at work is weird, after being away for four months, but it’s also good. Harry misses the kids more than he can stand – he’s actually only back three days a week for the next three weeks, just to get used to it. But it’s good regularly being around adults outside of his family.  
  
His replacement, Luke, is still around. He’s moved to a desk in the annex. Harry isn’t really sure why.  
  
“I guess we have two temps now,” Nick says when Harry asks. “I mean, Zayn basically does nothing here. Nothing for the company, anyway. Did you see the new app he designed?”  
  
“Yeah, I did,” Harry says. Zayn’s gotten into designing game apps. The characters he creates are pretty cute.  
  
“And I dunno, people like Luke,” Nick says.  
  
“This is because he’s hot, isn’t it,” Harry realises. The entire office is calling him Hot Luke, for god's sake.  
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nick says, then he shoos Harry out of his office.  
  
Harry mostly thinks it’s funny. The only issue is that Luke clearly has a crush on Louis, and Louis refuses to see it.  
  
“He really doesn’t,” Louis says when they’re sitting at their desks. At least Luke is out in the annex, so they can talk about him freely. “You were gone for four months, petal, and he never made a move on me. Not once.”  
  
“Mm, I dunno,” says Liam. “He’s pretty flirty with you.”  
  
“See! Thank you!” Harry cries.  
  
“Excuse me, Liam, this is a private conversation,” Louis says.  
  
Liam rolls his eyes.  
  
“I’m just saying,” Harry says. “It’s not a big deal. But he likes you.”  
  
“Then he’s an idiot,” Louis says. “He’s seen me with you. He saw me with you and our _kids_ in September. Why would anyone bother?”  
  
Harry laughs at how confused he looks. “I love you,” he says.  
  
“Gross,” Liam says, and Harry throws a paperclip at him.

*

The other thing is that while Harry was gone, Dougie Poynter started working in their office. Dougie is a salesman from another branch, the Bradford branch, and Harry first met him years ago. He’d run into him again when Louis was dating Greg, and they’d gone on two dates, and then Harry hadn’t heard from Dougie again. He sent a text, but it was never returned. Harry assumed he’d either lost his phone or he wasn’t interested.  
  
It wasn’t a huge loss. Dougie’s stupid attractive, yeah, but he’s not Louis, and Harry was pretty severely hung up on Louis. Still is, obviously. The dates were just an attempt to distract himself.  
  
It’s awkward having him in the same office, though. Apparently he transferred in just a few days ago. And people are talking.  
  
The vibe Harry’s getting is that everyone seems to think he’s an actual threat to Harry and Louis’s relationship. A guy Harry went on two dates with, eight years ago. Fucking ridiculous. Harry’s pretty sure it’s just because Dougie’s good-looking and kind of charming.  
  
”So,” Liam says, returning to his desk. He’s been in the kitchen chatting with Zayn. “I hear you slept with Dougie.”  
  
Louis chokes on the sip of tea he’s just taken.  
  
“No,” says Harry, mildly horrified. “No, I didn’t. Did Zayn tell you that?”  
  
“That’s what everyone’s saying,” Liam says.  
  
“Well, I’m pretty sure I know better than them,” Harry says. “And I definitely didn’t sleep with him. We went on two dates.”  
  
“That could be enough for you to sleep with him,” Liam argues.  
  
“Yes, but I didn’t,” says Harry. “Two dates, and then he never called me back. That’s it.”  
  
“Wait,” Louis says. “I thought you turned him down? You said it didn’t amount to anything.”  
  
“Yeah, because he didn’t call me,” Harry says. “I liked him well enough.”  
  
Louis raises his eyebrows. “Well then.”  
  
“For, like, a week. Eight years ago.”  
  
Louis blinks at him.  
  
“You know I married you, don't you?”  
  
Louis breaks and grins at him. Liam tuts.  
  
“Looks like you guys have a lot to work through here,” Liam says.  
  
Harry shakes his head and goes back to work.

*

He and Louis are in the breakroom at lunch, and Jesy and Perrie join them. They started dating about six months ago, which was a surprise, since Harry always thought they were both straight. It’s cool though, they’re good together. And they sometimes join Harry and Louis for lunch, like a little queer couples alliance.  
  
“So,” Jesy says, digging into her noodles. “I hear you guys are about to split up.”  
  
Harry scoffs. “Definitely,” he says. “A random guy I went on two dates with a million years ago is definitely a legitimate threat to our marriage.”  
  
“It’s stupid, I’ve been telling people,” Perrie says. “They won’t listen. And did you hear, he invited everyone to the pub tonight, and now people are saying they won’t go. Out of respect for you.”  
  
Harry laughs incredulously. “What? Who? Who’s saying that?”  
  
“I heard Lauren, Bebe and Maren talking about it,” Perrie says. “But Lauren said James and Lou were on board too.”  
  
What the fuck. “Okay, they should definitely know better,” Harry says. “Lou was our surrogate, for fuck’s sake!”  
  
“The whole thing’s been blown way out of proportion,” Jesy says. “People are acting as if you guys were some great love story.”  
  
“More like a boring nothing story,” Harry says, and then he nudges Louis, who’s being uncharacteristically quiet. “You okay?”  
  
“Yeah,” he says. “I just don’t get it. Why didn’t he call you back?”  
  
Harry frowns. “Um, I don’t know,” he says. “But does it matter?”  
  
“No, I s’pose not,” says Louis. “It just – it’s just weird to me. I don’t get it.”  
  
Harry shrugs. He really doesn't think it's important.

*

“Hey,” Louis says, tapping Harry’s shoulders. “Got a minute?”  
  
“Yeah,” Harry says, turning his chair around. “What’s up?”  
  
“I just talked to Dougie,” Louis says. “I asked him why he didn’t call you back.”  
  
Harry’s torn between amused and confused. “What? Why?”  
  
“I dunno, I just couldn’t stop wondering,” Louis says. “Anyway, he said he lost his phone, so he lost your number. And then he said he figured it wasn’t worth it anyway because you spent the whole date talking about me.”  
  
Harry’s stumped at that. He has to really cast his mind back – eight bloody years, Jesus Christ – but that doesn’t seem true. In fact, he’s pretty sure he tried very hard not to mention Louis at all.  
  
“Thought I’d run that by you,” Louis says, clearly sensing something is off.  
  
“Yeah, no,” Harry says. “I didn’t. I was completely gone for you, don’t get me wrong – but that’s why I know I made an effort not to mention you. I mean, he knew who you were, he knew we were friends – he _asked after you_ , and I said you were doing well, and that was literally it. I didn’t want him to figure that out, I mean – the whole thing was me trying to move on. Why would I sabotage that by making it obvious I was hung up on you?”  
  
“That’s what I thought,” Louis says. “Ugh. This is just gonna annoy me, we have to confront him.”  
  
Harry huffs a laugh. “Why? It was eight years ago, it doesn’t matter.”  
  
“I need to understand it,” Louis says, frowning. “Why would anyone not call you back?”  
  
“Oh Lou,” Harry says. “That’s sweet. But c'mon. We don’t need to make a big deal out of it.”  
  
Honestly, he kind of doesn’t want to know. He’s still not totally comfortable with people disliking him, and while he doesn’t _care_ that things didn’t work out with Dougie, he doesn’t think he needs to pursue _why_.  
  
“Hey guys,” Nick interrupts. “Listen, I’ve heard some stuff, and I just wanted to say. If you don’t want me to go to the pub for Dougie’s thing, I won’t.”  
  
Not Nick too. Christ.  
  
“No,” Harry says fimly. “It’s fine. Nothing happened.”  
  
“Okay then,” Nick says, sounding like he doesn’t believe him, and walks off.  
  
“Well, look on the bright side,” Harry says to Louis. “When I inevitably leave you for Dougie, you’ll be free to get with Luke.”  
  
Louis groans, then he flicks at Harry’s nipple and sits back at his desk. Rude. He shouldn’t start things he doesn’t intend to finish.

*

Louis persuades Harry to confront Dougie a little while later, so they catch him alone in the kitchen.  
  
Harry makes sure to look as put-upon as possible. “Louis’s making me do this,” he says. “But I didn’t talk about him. I remember.”  
  
Dougie frowns.  
  
“So why didn’t you call him?” Louis asks. “I mean, c’mon. Look at this face.”  
  
Dougie laughs. “I don’t know,” he says. “Look, I don’t really remember.”  
  
“That’s fine,” Harry says. “I honestly don’t care. It was eight years ago.”  
  
“Exactly,” Dougie says. “Why is everyone making such a big deal out of this?”  
  
“This office lives for gossip,” Harry says. “You should’ve been here when we got together.”  
  
“Alright,” Louis says. “Here’s the thing, though. I think you do remember.”  
  
“Really, man?” Dougie asks.  
  
“You may as well just tell us,” Harry says. “I won’t be offended. He’s not going to let it go otherwise.”  
  
Dougie sighs. “I just didn’t think we meshed well together,” he says. “I mean, you’re good-looking, but you’re not exactly my type. We didn’t have much in common, and I thought you were sort of - well - boring.”  
  
“Hey,” Louis mutters.  
  
Dougie shrugs apologetically. “I just remember these long stories that didn't go anywhere? And I didn’t think it was worth pursuing long distance,” he says. “I’m sorry Harry. I should’ve said so, instead of ghosting you.”  
  
“It’s fine,” Harry says. There’s a funny lump in his throat. That’s dumb. “I was hung up on this one anyway, so.”  
  
“At least it all worked out for the best,” Dougie says, smiling hopefully.  
  
“Exactly,” Harry says. “Doesn’t matter if you thought I was boring.”  
  
Ugh, he definitely sounds more upset than he means to. Fuck.  
  
“I’ve got to get back to work,” Harry says, forcing a smile and backing out of the kitchen.  
  
Louis catches up with him before he reaches his desk, grabbing him by the wrist and turning him around.  
  
Harry looks at him in surprise, and Louis takes his face in his hands and kisses him, slow and deep in a way they never kiss at work.  
  
Louis pulls away and Harry tries not to chase after his mouth. “You are absolutely the most interesting, charming, fascinating, perfect person in the world to me,” Louis says seriously. “I love your stories. I wouldn’t want to change a single thing about you.”  
  
Harry smiles shakily. “I love you,” he says. His heart is overflowing. Dougie who? His opinion is completely irrelevant.  
  
“Except your snoring,” Louis adds, and Harry pinches him. “Hey! Okay. I love you too.”  
  
Then he bursts them out of their bubble, looking around and making Harry look too. Most of the office are staring at them.  
  
“We’re in love, people, get over it,” Louis says, and Harry giggles.  
  
They are. Harry wouldn’t change a thing either.

 

***

 

Liam’s in charge of a taskforce to go down to London and set up the company’s first ever shop. His first choice team of Leigh Anne, Jesy, Niall, Zayn, and Ed is vetoed by Nick, and he ends up with James, Luke, Lauren and Zayn. And Louis. Harry gets updated on all of this by Louis, in between his meetings with Nick and Liam, and his texts from Rob Stringer.  
  
Louis didn’t want to go; neither Harry or Louis were planning on it, what with having a newborn baby. And frankly, the idea of two weeks at the office without Liam sounded amazing. He’s been quite full of himself lately – nowhere near as bad as he used to be, but he’s made a lot of money this year through the uncapped commission and he’s not shy about bragging.  
  
But Louis’s been getting texts from Rob all day assuming that he’s coming to London. Louis’s been trying to put him off, but he’s insistent. And he’s the boss.  
  
“I think you have to go,” Harry says.  
  
“But,” Louis frowns. “I don’t want to leave you with Noah. I don’t want to leave you _or_ Noah. And Sophie.”  
  
Harry has to smile at how upset he looks. “It’ll be fine, babe, it’s only two weeks,” he says. “I’ll get Gems and Lottie to come and stay, and I’m sure your mum will pop in all the time, so I’ll have plenty of help.”  
  
“But I’ll miss you,” Louis says, full on pouting. “And I’ll miss all of Noah’s little developments.”  
  
“We’ll Skype you every day,” Harry promises. “You know Sophie will want to even if I don’t,” he adds jokingly. “It’ll be fine. It’ll fly by.”  
  
Louis’s still frowning. “Maybe you could come down on the weekend? Or I could come back.”  
  
“Maybe,” Harry says, not loving the idea of travelling with two kids. “Or you can just relax. It’ll be fine.”  
  
So Louis agrees. And Liam absolutely hates that he’s coming along, but he can’t argue with Rob.

 

***

 

When Louis calls on his first night, he’s clearly shaken. “You’re not going to believe this,” he says. “Guess who’s working here?”  
  
“I have no idea,” Harry says. “Ben Winston?”  
  
Louis laughs. “Okay, no, but that would be just as ridiculous. Dan fucking Wootton.”  
  
Harry blinks. “What.”  
  
“Right? _Dan fucking Wootton_. He’s like a fucking cockroach, Harry!”  
  
“How did he get into the Corporate office?”  
  
“I don’t know!” Louis cries. “I think he’s friends with someone at SONY. So there’s this bigger group we’ve joined, directed by this woman named Ann-Marie, and Dan’s in the group that came from SONY. He’s been working with them for a couple of years.”  
  
“Gross,” Harry says.  
  
“ _So_ gross,” Louis says. “He still hates me, just in case you didn’t think he could hold a ten year grudge. And he asked about you.”  
  
“Really?” Harry asks, surprised.  
  
“Mm hm. In an unkind way. And he was surprised when I said we were married, and he tried to insinuate that you’d be sleeping around while I was gone.”  
  
Harry snorts. “Damn,” he says, deadpan. “He’s blown my cover. I didn’t want you to know.”  
  
Louis huffs. “Yeah, I shot that down pretty fast. I don’t care what he says, but God. He’s just a nuisance. I hate his face.”  
  
Harry smiles fondly. “It’ll be okay, babe,” he says. “Just stick with James and Lauren, try to ignore him.”  
  
“Ugh, I’ll do my best,” Louis says. “D’you think I could superglue him to his chair?”  
  
Harry bursts out laughing. “Please do,” he says. “Get Lauren to film it.”

 

***

 

“I’ve had the weirdest day, you won’t even believe it,” Louis says after he’s said goodnight to the kids. Gemma’s taken Noah to bed and Lottie’s reading Sophie her bedtime story. Harry gets comfy in his bed.  
  
“Tell me everything,” he says. He’s been loving these parts of the day, where Louis fills him in on everything that’s happening in London. Harry tells him what happens in the office, too, but not much has been going on. There’s always drama in London, Harry loves it.  
  
“I’m still reeling, to be honest,” Louis says, shaking his head. “You’re gonna be so unbearably smug about this.”  
  
Harry laughs. “Just tell me!”  
  
“Alright,” Louis says. He looks a bit nervous, and a bit freaked out. “You know how you thought Luke had a thing for me?”  
  
“Mm hm.” Harry can see where this is going.  
  
“Well, I’ve been talking to him a little bit this trip. At first I was hanging out with James, which you know, and then he made friends with that Jack guy from the Corporate office.”  
  
Harry nods; he’s already gotten the saga of James and Jack. Louis can’t stand Jack.  
  
“Right, and Liam and Zayn are being insufferably clingy, like, you’d think this was their honeymoon, and Lauren’s cool but she’s been hanging out with Zayn whenever Liam’s busy being in charge or whatever,” Louis says. “So yeah, you know, I’m sort of hanging out with everyone in bits, I’m not spending all my time with Luke.”  
  
“Okay,” Harry says slowly. He thinks Louis’s just trying to explain where he’s at, but he’s coming off quite defensive.  
  
“So, tonight, we’re all in the hotel bar, because Ann-Marie wants us to bond or whatever. And Liam’s sucking up to her along with Dan and it’s absolutely revolting, so I left. So I’m in my room, watching footy, waiting for seven-thirty so I can ring you, and Luke knocks on my door.”  
  
Harry’s more amused than anything at this point, especially at the way Louis’s dragging out the story.  
  
“And he’s wearing, like, a shirt and pants,” Louis says, making a face. “Like, boxer briefs,” he clarifies, even though Harry knew what he meant.  
  
Harry laughs. “Seriously? What the fuck.”  
  
“I know,” Louis says. “And he said the air con was all wonky in his room, that it was boiling in there and they were fixing it, and could he wait with me.” Louis rolls his eyes. “So I said okay.”  
  
“Well I wouldn’t’ve expected you to turn him away,” Harry says. That’s not the kind of person Louis is. “Even if that is wildly transparent.”  
  
Louis nods, his face still twisted up uncomfortably. “So he goes and sits on the bed, and I sat on the end of the bed. And he’s clearly not interested in footy, because – ” he frowns. “He started asking questions? About you and the kids, and if I missed you. Obviously I said I do. And he said that was surprising? Which I was annoyed by.”  
  
Harry feels a faint twinge of annoyance as well. Because, okay, the idea that this random bloke could possibly come between him and Louis is hilarious, and ridiculous. But hearing that he tried to undermine their marriage is also pretty annoying.  
  
“Then, he said he was feeling sweaty from his room being so hot, so he wanted to take a shower,” Louis says. “I said great, because I thought he was leaving, but then he used _my_ shower.” Louis makes a face. “And came out in one of those dressing gowns the hotel gives you. Which was just fucking weird, and then he was going on about how good the lotion they had here is and how smooth his hands were, and he was trying to get me to feel – ”  
  
Harry can feel his face pinching more and more. He’s frowning harder than he ever has in his life, probably.  
  
“I know, baby,” Louis says, clearly noticing his expression. “I’d had enough, I said I was very happily married, very in love with you and that I only do monogamy.”  
  
Harry swallows and nods. Okay. That’s good.  
  
“And he, like, laughed? And said he knew that. And that I’d misread everything.”  
  
Harry raises his eyebrows. “Well _that’s_ bullshit.”  
  
“Yeah, well I felt pretty embarrassed by the idea, so I believed him. It’s not – you know, if you were in this position, I’d think it was bullshit too, but when it’s me it’s hard to believe? Does that make sense?”  
  
Harry immediately wants to say it doesn’t, because Louis is incredible and Harry feels like everyone who meets him should fall in love with him, but then he stops. He remembers years ago when he lived in London, and how jealous Louis had been of Jeff. Also Nick, Louis used to be weird about Harry’s friendship with Nick. It had seemed ridiculous to Harry, but it was very real to Louis.  
  
“I suppose it makes sense,” Harry says.  
  
“So, anyway, I apologised and we went back to watching the footy. I sat at the head of the bed this time, because he _said_ nothing was going on, and then Luke, like, snuggled up next to me? So I was like, am I imagining this, or was he lying?”  
  
“Obviously he was lying,” Harry says.  
  
“Yeah. So I got up, and went to the toilet, and I was actually going to ring you, because I thought that’d be the best way to get rid of him – but it was seven so I knew you’d be in the middle of bathtime – ”  
  
“Right, yeah.”  
  
“Then I came out of the toilet, and the dressing gown was on the floor and Luke was standing there naked.”  
  
Harry’s mouth drops open. “ _What_?” he says. “I’m sorry, _what_?”  
  
“My exact response,” Louis says. “And then I burst out laughing. Because he actually tried the Naked Man, Harry! From How I Met Your Mother, d'you remember? He actually thought that would work!”  
  
Louis’s laughing, and Harry smiles, but he’s still mostly shocked and appalled. The fucking _audacity_ , honestly.  
  
“And I told him to get out,” Louis says. “Obviously. I said under no circumstances would that ever happen, and that there was no way he could ever compare to you. I promise I said that, Harry, and I meant it. Just, no. No fucking way.”  
  
Harry definitely smiles at that. “I believe you, darling,” he says. “Look, if I'm honest, I’m definitely annoyed that anyone would think they could come between us, but mostly it’s just ridiculous. And sort of hilarious.”  
  
“Yeah,” Louis agrees. “I’m annoyed too, you know. I just wish it hadn’t happened, it was so uncomfortable and weird.” Louis wrinkles his nose. “I don’t ever want anyone who’s not you coming on to me. I thought getting married would solve that issue.”  
  
Harry huffs a judgemental laugh. “Yeah, you’d think so,” he says.  
  
“Look, H,” Louis says, shifting the phone closer to his face and looking serious. “I don’t want you to ever worry about anything like this. Like, god, it’s bad enough we’re so far apart right now, I don’t want this to make things worse.”  
  
Harry smiles at him softly. “It won’t,” he says. “I trust you. Jesus, Lou, I don’t even think you’re capable of cheating on me. You’d ring me halfway through to let me know.”  
  
Louis’s serious expression cracks and then he laughs. “That’s true, I can’t keep anything from you. I was, like, desperate to tell you about this, even if it made things harder.”  
  
Harry smiles fondly. “I love that about you,” Harry says. “I love that you share everything. And, besides – shit, babe, you’ve been in love with me for thirteen years. I don’t think it’d be possible for me to be more secure in our relationship.”  
  
Louis grins. “That’s true. I think I’ve made it pretty clear that I’m in this for good.”  
  
“Yeah, you have,” Harry says. “I love you. I know you love me. I’m not worried.”  
  
“Good,” Louis says. He sighs, and a lot of the tension seems to leave him. “Alright, good. I just want you to be okay.”  
  
“I’m okay,” Harry reassures him. “I just miss you.”  
  
“I miss you too,” Louis says. “If we’re not needed this weekend, I’m definitely coming home. Don’t try and stop me.”  
  
Harry’s nose twitches involuntarily and he smiles. “I won’t,” he says.  
  
“Good,” Louis says, and then he exhales, letting out a long breath. “Fuck, I hope tomorrow’s not too awkward. How much d’you reckon I can avoid him before anyone notices?”  
  
Harry laughs. “Mm, dunno,” he says. “If I were you I’d stick with Lauren, or James maybe.”  
  
“Even if that means hanging out with Jack,” Louis says with a grimace.  
  
“That’s the price you’ll have to pay to save our marriage,” Harry says in a grave tone, and Louis laughs.  
  
“Then I’ll pay it,” Louis says. “No price too steep.”  
  
Harry loves him. Loves how he can mix a joke with the sweetest sentiments. “You’re the best husband ever, you know that,” he says.  
  
“No, you are,” Louis says. “Never want to be without you.”  
  
“Same,” Harry says with a smile.  
  
Louis blows him a kiss, and Harry laughs.  
  
“Alright then,” Louis says, settling down in his pillows. “Tell me how the kids were tonight. I know Sophie said she was an angel, give me the real story.”

 

***

 

It doesn’t feel like Christmas until Louis gets back from London. It’s the sixth of December, so Harry’s had decorations up in the office for a week now, but it doesn’t feel right until he has Louis home to share it. He’s also been holding Sophie back for a week, because she’s been itching to put up decorations. She’s truly his child. But Louis only got back last night, so there hasn’t been time for it. Harry’s not sure if they’ll make time this week, or if they’ll have to deal with a cranky four year old until Saturday.  
  
Oh well. Regardless, it’s just good to have Louis back.  
  
“This is better,” Harry says when they’re both seated at their desks. He smiles at Louis. “Wasn't right without you here.”  
  
“S’good to be back,” Louis says. “Now I get to see what Nick had for lunch or Leigh Anne’s baby photos first hand.”  
  
“Shut up,” Harry laughs. “I didn’t describe people’s lunches.”  
  
Louis raises his eyebrows, and Harry gets his point. He may as well have. The office was really boring, and Harry’s stories never matched up to the excitement in London.  
  
“Sorry boring old Manchester isn’t good enough for you anymore,” Harry teases.  
  
“Mm, that’s it,” Louis says. “I’m a big shot now.”  
  
Harry laughs again. “Honestly, though, it was great getting all those stories from you,” Harry says. “You guys were like my own TV show. So much drama.”  
  
“Glad we could entertain you,” Louis says with a giggle. “No, actually, I am. I needed to tell you, so it’s good you didn’t hate it. Things don’t feel real until I tell you about them.”  
  
Ugh, he’s such a sweetheart. Harry’s melting. “Likewise,” he says, knowing he’s wearing a soppy grin.  
  
“Besides,” Louis says, “You’re my favourite person to share gossip with. Your reactions are amazing.”  
  
Harry’s mouth drops open. “How dare you! I don’t gossip,” he sniffs. “I just share news.”  
  
“Okay,” Louis smirks. “You’re the biggest gossip I know. You live for drama.”  
  
“You shut your mouth before I get a divorce,” Harry cries, and Louis snorts. “I’m not dramatic.”  
  
“No, not at all.”  
  
Harry throws an elastic band at him.

 

***

 

That night, after they’ve put up the Christmas tree and tucked Sophie into bed, they’re snuggling on the sofa in front of the TV. It’s so nice to be able to watch their favourite shows together again.  
  
“I did realise something while I was away,” Louis says.  
  
“Yeah? What was that?”  
  
“You know how we’ve always said we should move to London someday,” Louis says, and Harry nods. “Well, I dunno about you, but for me it was starting to feel like something we said but that we’d never do.”  
  
Harry wants to protest, but he stops. Yeah. It _was_ kinda starting to feel like that.  
  
“Sometimes it feels like a before-kids kinda dream,” Harry admits.  
  
“Yeah, exactly,” Louis says. “But the whole time I was there, I kept picturing you and the kids with me. I really think we could make it work. So that’s what I realised, that I’m ready when you are, basically.”  
  
“Really?” Harry asks, feeling his excitement start to bubble up.  
  
“Yeah,” Louis says. “Definitely.”  
  
Harry feels like his face could crack, he’s smiling so wide. “Maybe we should start planning, then.”

 

***

 

One day, a week after Louis gets back from London, a sharply dressed woman comes into the office. She looks cold and intimidating, and recognition flares across Louis’s face.  
  
“Ann-Marie,” he says. “What are you doing here?”  
  
Ah. Ann-Marie. The woman in charge of the failed SONY store. Who somehow had managed to get Dan Wootton to take the fall for her. Right.  
  
What is she doing here?  
  
“Hello everyone,” she says, immediately commanding the attention of the entire office. “My name is Ann-Marie, and I’ve been transferred here. Rob’s idea. I’m just to find a desk and see if it’s a good fit.” She looks into Nick’s office, which is empty because he’s away with the flu. “Looks like that one’s free.”  
  
“That’s the manager’s office,” Liam says. “We already have a manager. We can find you a desk in the annex – ”  
  
“Nonsense,” Ann-Marie says. “If you have a manager, then where is he?”  
  
“He’s ill, he has the flu,” Louis says. “I’m in charge while he’s out, we’re getting along just fine.”  
  
“Well, I’m here now,” Ann-Marie says. “And good news: I never fall ill.”  
  
Then she strides into Nick’s office, closing the door behind her. What the fuck.

*

Within an hour, a memo is sent out that reads _STRICT POLICY: NO OFFICE ROMANCE. If you’re already in a relationship, be prepared to dissolve it or keep it out of my sight.  
  
_ Louis looks at Harry, his eyebrows raised. Harry’s quite sure Louis’s expression of alarmed confusion is mirrored on his own face. They immediately knock on Nick's office's door, and politely inform Ann-Marie that they’re married with babies.  
  
“We don’t plan on dissolving that,” Louis says.  
  
Ann-Marie doesn’t even crack a smile. “Well, that’s unfortunate,” she says.  
  
Harry bristles.  
  
“We’ll have to lay some rules, then,” she goes on. “No PDA – I feel that should be obvious. And you’ll have to move desks, of course. Mr Styles can move out to the annex.”  
  
“What?” Harry says. “Why?”  
  
“Having the two of you sit so close is frankly inappropriate,” Ann-Marie says. “And nonsensical. If Harry’s the office administrator, why is he sitting in sales?”  
  
“Well, because I used to be a salesman,” Harry says, and Ann-Marie shakes her head.  
  
“You’ll be better off in the annex,” she says. “You’ll both be much less distracted.”  
  
“With all due respect, I don’t think that’s necessary,” Louis says. “We’re not big on PDA at work anyway, so – ”  
  
“You may not think it’s necessary, Mr Tomlinson, but I do. And it’s my policy.” She tuts. “It’s for the best, for everyone. Office romances never lead to anything good. Particularly not ones like yours.”  
  
Harry’s confused. “Marriages?”  
  
Ann-Marie rolls her eyes. “No,” she says, and doesn’t clear it up. “Now, is that all?”

*

Out in the annex, Harry fumes. She’s not even his manager! Nick’s still ill, and she’s here for the interim, Rob said. He said it would be interesting.

Harry fucking hates interesting.  
  
He pops his head over the partition and asks Ed if there’s anything illegal in this. “I thought we were allowed to have relationships in the office?”  
  
“We are,” Ed says. “Technically, she’s not stopping you. She’s just put in some rules, which she’s perfectly within her rights to do.”  
  
Harry deflates. Shit. Then he remembers the other thing she’d said, about ‘particularly’ his and Louis’s relationship, and recounts it to Ed.  
  
“Hm,” Ed says. “That is weird.”  
  
“And she had her lip curled the whole time we were in there, like she was stopping herself from sneering,” Harry says. “Like she was disgusted. I just assumed she didn’t like anyone being in relationships, but…”  
  
“But if she’s homophobic, maybe we can get rid of her,” Ed says, his eyes lighting up. “We just need to prove it.”  
  
“Why would that matter?” Harry asks. “Ben was homophobic, along with a bunch of other things. That never got him fired.”  
  
“Yeah, but he didn’t ever actively discriminate against you,” Ed says. “And also, the laws have tightened up a lot on this sort of thing. If she really is homophobic, we might have a shot.”

 

***

 

A group forms to conspire to get rid of Ann-Marie, made up of almost the entire office. Even Liam. They meet in the warehouse during lunch.  
  
“Do you know how mad I am that the first female manager we’ve ever had is so awful?” Jesy asks. “I’m so fucking mad.”  
  
“Yeah, s’kinda like Theresa May, when you think about it,” Niall says.

“Uh, more like Thatcher,” James says. “You infant.”  
  
“Alright, no politics,” says Liam. “This isn’t productive.”  
  
Harry rolls his eyes. “So Ed said we need to catch her out being homophobic. I thought we could start by comparing her reactions to a straight couple versus a queer one.”  
  
“Okay,” Jesy says. “Wait. Do we even have any straight couples in the office?”  
  
“No,” says James.

That's actually hilarious.

“Okay, who wants to date me?” Niall asks. “Ladies?”  
  
Jade sighs. “I’ll do it,” she says.  
  
Niall pouts. “Alright, no need to sound like it's such a hardship.”

*

Niall and Jade take one for the team and make out in front of Ann-Marie, and Jesy secretly films it. She tells them off, quite harshly, but essentially she just says that that behaviour is not acceptable and she won’t tolerate it.  
  
Harry waits an hour, then he goes out to the main part of the office, meets Louis at his desk – in plain view from Nick’s office where Ann-Marie is – and places his hands on Louis’s shoulders. He knows Jesy’s recording. Ann-Marie comes storming out within seconds.  
  
“No,” she says firmly. “Stop this at once. I’ve told you boys already, this is not acceptable. It’s placing obscene images in everyone’s minds while they should be working.”  
  
“I’m sorry? He’s barely touching me,” Louis says.  
  
“It’s more than that and you know it,” Ann-Marie says. “This is inherently sexual behaviour and I won’t tolerate it.”  
  
“So you’re saying us touching is as bad as Jade and Niall literally making out?”  
  
“Who – oh, the Irish one and the coloured girl? Yes,” Ann-Marie says. “Of course it is.”  
  
Harry blinks. _Coloured_? Do people really still say that?  
  
“Look, I’m sorry to do this publicly,” Ann-Marie continues. “But since you insist on making your relationship public, I suppose it’s fitting. Your relationship is inappropriate, and unacceptable, and honestly, if the two of you can’t keep it behind closed doors, I’m going to have to fire one of you.”  
  
“I’m sorry, what?” Louis looks outraged.  
  
“Keep what behind closed doors? All interactions?” Harry asks. “Are we allowed to speak to each other?”  
  
“I’d rather you didn’t,” Ann-Marie sniffs. “But if it’s _professional_ , then fine.”  
  
“I’m sorry, I still can’t get over the fact that you just threatened to fire us purely for being married and in your presence, but Jade and Niall simply got a talking-to.”  
  
“Well, that’s what happens when you bring immorality into the office,” Ann-Marie says. “There are consequences. Don’t let it happen again.”  
  
Then she turns around and goes back to her office, closing the door behind her. Harry turns to Jesy.  
  
“Fucking jackpot,” Jesy says softly.  
  
They email the recordings to Rob Stringer, and by the end of the day, Ann-Marie is gone. Louis is the temporary manager again, until Nick’s better, and Rob has formally apologised and offered them a month of extra vacation days so that they don’t sue. Like Louis says, sometimes it pays to be gay.

 

***

 

Harry’s been doing pretty well with his Youtube channel. He posts short videos of Sophie and Noah to Instagram, then posts the full versions on Youtube. A lot of his Instagram followers have migrated over due to that. He’s also posting videos of himself and Louis playing some of the songs they’ve written, as well as songs with The Sweet Creatures and some office antics. He’s been steadily gaining subscribers over the past few months, enough that he’s now making a small amount from ad revenue.  
  
Then one morning he wakes up and randomly decides to check his channel, and he’s gained over two hundred thousand subscribers since the last time he looked. Meaning he now has a million. One million. One _million_ individual people are following his Youtube channel.  
  
“Louis,” Harry says, almost in shock. He shakes his sleeping husband. “Louis! Holy shit, wake up!”  
  
Louis jolts awake. “S’it? Th’ kids okay?”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, they’re fine, sorry,” Harry says, and Louis relaxes. “I just, I have a million subscribers on Youtube!”  
  
Louis blinks and sits up. “No shit,” he says. Harry shakes his head. “Oh my God, Curly, that’s amazing! What the fuck!”  
  
“A million people like our family,” Harry says in awe.  
  
“I’m not surprised, we’re pretty adorable,” Louis says.  
  
He's right, they are, but it's still fucking incredible. Harry's starting to feel like he can maybe make an actual career out of this.

 

***

 

The office Christmas party is preceded by Nick announcing that he’s being promoted.  
  
It’s quite a surprise, considering that Rob was willing to hand his job to someone else a week ago. But apparently Nick confronted him about that, and Rob was so impressed he thought he’d give Nick a shot at Corporate.  
  
“So, Merry Christmas Liam,” Nick says. “I got you for Secret Santa, and my gift to you is – I recommended you to Rob. In the new year, you’ll be the manager of this branch.”  
  
Liam’s mouth drops open. “No,” he says. “You’re serious?”  
  
“As a heart attack,” Nick smiles.  
  
Liam’s silent for a moment, then he lets out a whoop so loud it makes Harry jump.  
  
He stands up. “Thank you Nick, I accept,” he says. “And for my first act as manager – you’re all fired!” Everyone stares at him, and he smiles. “I’m kidding! Of course you’re not fired.”  
  
“Well, you don’t start until January anyway,” Nick says, patting him on the shoulder. “Wait til I’m actually gone, mate.”  
  
Liam forgoes the handshake Nick offers him and gives Nick a bear hug instead.

*

Harry’s pretty proud of his Christmas present for Louis this year. They started this tradition ages back, where every year, they give each other a gift at the office Christmas party, and then another one on Christmas Day. Louis’s presents are always so, so thoughtful – always sentimental, wrapped up in nostalgia. He always makes Harry cry. He says it’s because he’s making up for that one time Harry recorded him an album, but still. Harry feels one-upped every year.  
  
Not this year. This year he’s gone home-made too, and he’s made a giant scrapbook of the last eight years. He’s literally been working on it for eight years, and when he was on paternity leave he got a huge chunk of it finished and thought it’d be good for Christmas.  
  
It’s massive. He’s even added in photos from before they got together, but the large majority is of their lives together. Harry’s really proud of it; he’s added stories alongside a lot of the pages, things he’d written down back when they happened. He doesn’t even properly remember a lot of it himself, but he knows Louis will love it. He’s really proud of it.  
  
And it’s extra special this year, because they’ve been looking at townhouses in London. This’ll likely be their last Christmas at Syco, their last time with this exact tradition.  
  
He and Louis end up in the breakroom during the party to get some privacy. Harry can’t stop smiling, anticipating Louis’s reaction to his present. He puts it on the table and looks at what Louis’s got for him – it’s very, very thin. Harry wonders what it could possibly be.  
  
“You go first,” Louis says. Harry’s fine with that.  
  
He picks the thin present up and peels off the sellotape with his thumbnail, then opens up the wrapping paper and – it’s a piece of paper. Harry’s confused, though not exactly surprised – there wasn’t much else it could be.  
  
It’s actually a stack of paper, Harry finds, and he unfolds them to see… a picture of the townhouse they looked at last weekend. Harry frowns. And then he scans the paper and sees the SOLD notice.  
  
His mind is putting it together as he turns the page to see a contract between Louis and the real estate, and Harry looks up. He knows his eyes are wet. “You bought me a house?”  
  
Louis looks really nervous. “You loved it,” Louis says helplessly. “And I know it’s a bit out of our budget, and I know we should’ve made the decision together – I get that, if you hate it, we’ll figure something out, but – I made a lot of money this year, and it’s in a good area, good for the kids, and – you loved it.”  
  
“I did,” Harry says, swallowing thickly. “I do.” Truth be told, he’d had his heart set on this house. Louis hadn’t seemed to love it as much, though, and it was slightly out of what Harry thought their budget was. He hadn’t pushed because there was no point spending so much if both of them didn’t love it.  
  
Louis lets out a breath. “So you’re happy?”  
  
“You bought me a house,” Harry says. “I mean, Lou – you _bought me a house_.”  
  
“It was your money too,” Louis reminds him, but he looks relieved. Harry drops the papers on the table and straddles him, kissing him hard.  
  
Louis returns it enthusiastically – he’d been really worried, Harry realises now – and then he pulls Harry back. “Can I have my present?”  
  
Oh. Harry sags, dropping his head onto Louis’s shoulder. What was he thinking, with the homemade present? Ugh. This is so inadequate.  
  
“Fine,” Harry says, climbing off Louis’s lap.  
  
Louis reaches for the present, pulling it closer, then he rips off the paper. The book really is huge; it reminds Harry of that spellbook of monsters in one of the Harry Potter movies.  
  
Louis inhales like he’s surprised, then opens the scrapbook. The first page has a photo Gemma had taken back in October, of Harry, Louis, and the babies in their Halloween costumes, as well as a photo of Harry and Louis from their wedding and a photo of Harry and Louis from about ten years ago. For a title, Harry had printed ‘Still The One’ in big letters, a reference to their wedding song.  
  
It doesn’t compare to a fucking _house_. Louis beat him again.  
  
Louis looks up, and his eyes are shining. “I love you so much,” he says, sounding awed. “Holy fuck.”  
  
Harry smiles, feeling a bit better. Then Louis turns the page, and he gasps at the photos and the mementos and the stories, and Harry gains his confidence back.  
  
“It kinda doesn’t compare to a house,” Harry says anyway.  
  
“No, it’s way better,” Louis says. “Are you fucking kidding me, Harry? This is almost a decade of memories. This is absolutely fucking incredible.”  
  
Harry giggles. “Alright,” he says, then lights up. “Does that mean I beat you, finally?”  
  
Louis frowns. “Let’s call it a draw,” he says, and Harry laughs. Louis goes back to looking at the scrapbook. “You know this just means I’ll be spending the rest of our lives coming up with even better presents. Savour it now Styles, you’re never going to get this close again.”  
  
Harry laughs even harder. “It’s Tomlinson-Styles,” he corrects, and he sees Louis smile to himself.

 

***

 

So far Harry has had four best days of his life: the day on the beach back in 2017 when he and Louis finally got together, the day Sophie was born, the day Noah was born, and the day he married Louis.  
  
It was in June, 2019. June 28th. They chose Peckforton Castle, about an hour out of Manchester, actually closer to Holmes Chapel where Harry grew up. It was bloody expensive, by far the most expensive venue they looked at, but it was worth it. They'd saved for almost two years, and their parents chipped in, so it was doable. Barely. Harry got hooked on wedding shows in the planning of it, and he justified it to himself in that at least they didn't have to spend any money on a wedding dress.  
  
They invited everyone from the office, although to be fair they sort of hoped the hour drive would turn people off. But Ben offered everyone a three day weekend, which meant that all of them came. It was fine, though. Good, even. Everyone managed to behave themselves, except Ben who tried to hit on Harry's mum and Liam who kept bothering Harry about potential wedding crashers. But Harry expected worse, so.  
  
Gemma and Lottie were their Maids of Honour, or Best Women, as they called themselves. Harry also had Ed and Jesy on his side, and Louis had Niall and his sister Felicite.  They wanted to keep the group up at the alter fairly small, but Harry felt like the worst brother-in-law in the world for not including either set of Louis's twin siblings. So they put Daisy and Phoebe, who were fifteen, and Doris, who was six, in the same dresses as the other girls. Ernie wore the same style tux as Ed and Niall. And the four of them walked down the aisle ahead of the wedding party - they were technically in it, and took most of the photos with them and sat at the table at the reception. They just didn't stand up at the alter.  
  
Harry and Louis walked down the aisle to Read My Mind by The Killers, both of them escorted by their mums. Louis went first, so he was waiting at the end when Harry walked down. Louis's eyes were red and wet, and he had a big smile on his face, and he was gorgeous. He was all Harry could see.  
  
Harry doesn't remember the ceremony. He has it recorded, of course, so he knows what happened - he knows Gemma and Lottie both read short poems, he knows that Niall started crying two minutes in, he knows that the celebrant talked about how their rings symbolised eternity. But all he remembers is Louis. Harry couldn't keep his eyes off him, stuck on how beautiful he was. Harry knows that not a single soul at that ceremony doubted how happy he was to be there.  
  
The reception whirled by as well. Their cake was tall, covered in golden fondant which had all of their shared tattoos printed on it in black. It sat in a bed of pastel rainbow buttercream flowers. Gemma and Lottie gave speeches, as well as Harry's mum and Robin, and Jay and Dan. Then Louis gave a speech -  Harry cried all the way through it, and then Louis showed a video he'd put together of their years together, and Harry cried even more.   
  
And they had their first dance. Harry remembers every second of their first dance. They chose You're Still The One by Shania Twain, and every day that's passed since his wedding it just becomes more and more fitting.  
  
They danced under the spotlight, alone in that crowded room, Harry's arms around Louis's neck, Louis's hands on his waist, their foreheads pressed together. Louis softly sang along, just for Harry to hear. There wasn't anything fancy about it, they just swayed together, because it wasn't for anyone else. It was for them. That song, and that moment, was theirs.   
  
And Harry had known, then, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he would be with Louis forever.

 

 _looks like we made it  
_ _look how far we've come, my baby  
_ _we mighta took the long way  
_ _we knew we'd get there someday_

 

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so so much for reading 100k of my nonsense! any kudos/comments/bookmarks are appreciated more than i can say!
> 
> i've also got a tumblr post [here](http://nobodymoves.tumblr.com/post/161840725978/if-it-kills-me-1dbigbang-ships-harrylouis), if you liked this enough to reblog it that would mean the world to me!!


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